Exodus 11 to 20

Exodus 11
And the LORD said to Moses, I will still bring one plague yet on Pharaoh and on Egypt. Afterward he will let you go from here. When he shall let you go, he shall surely thrust you out from here altogether. Speak now in the ears of the people, and let every man borrow from his neighbor, and every woman from her neighbor, articles of silver and jewels of gold. And the LORD gave the people favor in the sight of the Egyptians. And the man Moses was very great in the land of Egypt, in the sight of Pharaoh’s servants, and in the sight of the people.

I think ‘borrow’ should read ‘steal their shit’.  If you have no intention of giving back silver and gold and jewels, that is stealing.  

And Moses said, Thus says the LORD: About midnight I will go out into the midst of Egypt. And all the first-born in the land of Egypt shall die, from the first-born of Pharaoh that sits upon his throne, even to the first-born of the slave-girl that is behind the mill; also the first-born of beasts. And there shall be a great cry throughout all the land of Egypt, such as there was none like it, nor shall be like it any more. But against any of the sons of Israel not even a dog shall move his tongue, against man or beast, so that you may know that the LORD puts a difference between the Egyptians and Israel. And all these, your servants, shall come down to me and bow themselves down to me, saying, You and all the people that follow you get out. And after that I will go out. And he went out from Pharaoh in a great anger. And the LORD said to Moses, Pharaoh shall not listen to you, so that My wonders may be multiplied in the land of Egypt. And Moses and Aaron did all these wonders before Pharaoh. And the LORD hardened Pharaoh’s heart so that he would not let the sons of Israel go out of his land.

Wow, this is a dark passage.  Every Egyptian first born male, dead.  This includes the animals, which are already dead 2 or 3 times over, already.  10th, and I really hope this is the last plague and holy shit, this is a lot of deaths of innocents.  More hardening of hearts.

Exodus 12
And the LORD spoke to Moses and Aaron in the land of Egypt, saying, This month shall be to you the beginning of months. It shall be the first month of the year to you. Speak to all the congregation of Israel, saying, In the tenth of this month they shall take to them each man a lamb for a father’s house, a lamb for a house. And if the household is too little for the lamb, let him and his neighbor next to his house take according to the number of the souls, each one, according to the eating of his mouth, you shall count concerning the lamb. Your lamb shall be without blemish, a male of the first year. You shall take from the sheep or from the goats. And you shall keep it up until the fourteenth day of the same month. And the whole assembly of the congregation of Israel shall kill it in the evening. And they shall take of the blood and strike on the two side posts and upon the upper door post of the houses in which they shall eat it. And they shall eat the flesh in that night, roasted with fire, and unleavened bread. They shall eat it with bitter herbs. Do not eat of it raw, nor boiled at all with water, but roasted with fire, its head with its legs, and with its inward parts. And you shall not let any of it remain until the morning. And that which remains of it until the morning you shall burn with fire. And you shall eat of it this way, with your loins girded, your sandals on your feet, and your staff in your hand. And you shall eat it in a hurry. It is the LORD’s passover. For I will pass through the land of Egypt this night, and will smite all the first-born in the land of Egypt, both man and beast. And I will execute judgments against all the gods of Egypt. I am the LORD. And the blood shall be a sign to you upon the houses where you are. And when I see the blood, I will pass over you. And the plague shall not be upon you for a destruction when I smite in the land of Egypt. And this day shall be a memorial to you. And you shall keep it as a feast to the LORD throughout your generations. You shall keep it as a feast by a law forever. You shall eat unleavened bread seven days; even the first day you shall put away leaven out of your houses. For whoever eats leavened bread from the first day until the seventh day, that soul shall be cut off from Israel. And on the first day shall be a holy gathering, and in the seventh day there shall be a holy gathering for you. No manner of work shall be done in them, except that which every man must eat, that only may be done by you. And you shall keep the Feast of Unleavened Bread. For in this same day I have brought your armies out of the land of Egypt. Therefore you shall keep this day in your generations by a law forever. In the first month, on the fourteenth day of the month at evening, you shall eat unleavened bread, until the twenty-first day of the month at evening. Seven days there shall be no leaven found in your houses. For whoever eats that which is leavened, even that soul shall be cut off from the congregation of Israel, among the aliens and among the natives of the land. You shall eat nothing leavened. In all your dwelling-places you shall eat unleavened bread.

The origin of Passover.  I don’t remember the lamb’s blood painted over the door when we were in the basement of our Lutheran church.  

Then Moses called for all the elders of Israel and said to them, Draw out and take a lamb for yourselves according to your families, and kill the passover. And you shall take a bunch of hyssop and dip in the blood in the bowl, and strike the lintel and the two side posts with the blood in the bowl. And none of you shall go out of the door of his house until the morning. For the LORD will pass through to strike the Egyptians. And when He sees the blood upon the lintel, and on the two side posts, the LORD will pass over the door, and will not allow the destroyer to come into your houses to strike you. And you shall observe this thing for a law to you and to your sons forever. And it shall be, when you have come to the land which the LORD will give you, according as He has promised, that you shall keep this service. And it will be, when your sons shall say to you, What is this service to you? Then you shall say, It is the sacrifice of the LORD’s passover, who passed over the houses of the sons of Israel in Egypt, when He struck the Egyptians and delivered our houses. And the people bowed and worshiped. And the sons of Israel went away and did as the LORD had commanded Moses and Aaron; so they did.

Lots of death, human and animal.  

And it happened at midnight the LORD struck all the first-born in the land of Egypt, from the first-born of Pharaoh that sat on his throne to the first-born of the captive that was in the prison; also all the first-born of cattle. And Pharaoh rose up in the night, he and all his servants, and all the Egyptians. And there was a great cry in Egypt, for there was not a house where there was not one dead. And he called for Moses and Aaron by night, and said, Rise up! Get away from my people, both you and the sons of Israel! And go serve the LORD, as you have said. Also take your flocks and your herds, as you have said, and go. And bless me also. And the Egyptians were urging the people, that they might send them out of the land in a hurry. For they said, We are all dead. And the people took their dough before it was leavened, their kneading-troughs being bound up in their clothes upon their shoulders. And the sons of Israel did according to the word of Moses. And they borrowed articles of silver, and articles of gold, and clothing from the Egyptians. And the LORD gave the people favor in the sight of the Egyptians, and they granted their request, and they plundered the Egyptians.

Plunder away!  Umm, I think in a few chapters this will be a no no.

And the sons of Israel journeyed from Rameses to Succoth, the men being about six hundred thousand men on foot, apart from little ones. And also a mixed multitude went up with them, and flocks, and herds, very much cattle. And they baked unleavened cakes of the dough which they brought out of Egypt, for it was not leavened, because they were thrust out of Egypt and could not stay, neither had they prepared any food for a journey for themselves. And the time that the sons of Israel lived in Egypt was four hundred and thirty years. And it happened at the end of the four hundred and thirty years, even it was on this very day, all the armies of the LORD went out from the land of Egypt. It is a night to be much kept to the LORD for bringing them out from the land of Egypt. This is that night of the LORD to be kept by all the sons of Israel in their generations.

No way there were 600,000 MEN, not counting women and children kept as slaves in Egypt.  This works out to be 1.5 to 2.5 MILLION people were kept as slaves.  The entire population of Egypt at the time was 2.5 million or so. Too bad the Egyptians, whom were a literate people that wrote almost everything down didn’t write this down?  Really?  We have found love notes and grocery lists from thousands of years ago.  Why not this?  The loss of HALF OF YOUR POPULATION????

And the LORD said to Moses and Aaron, This is the ordinance of the Passover. No stranger shall eat of it. But every man’s servant that is bought for silver, when you have circumcised him, then he shall eat of it. A foreigner and a hired servant shall not eat of it. It shall be eaten in one house. You shall not carry any of the flesh out of the house. Neither shall you break a bone of it. All the congregation of Israel shall keep it. And when a stranger shall stay with you, and desires to keep the Passover to the LORD, let all his males be circumcised, and then let him come near and keep it. And he shall be as one that is born in the land. And no uncircumcised person shall eat of it. There shall be one law to the native, and to the visitor that stays among you. So all the sons of Israel did. Even as the LORD commanded Moses and Aaron, so they did. And it happened the very same day, that the LORD brought the sons of Israel out of the land of Egypt by their armies.

Boring rabbinic law.  

Exodus 13
And the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, Sanctify all the first-born to Me, whatever opens the womb among the sons of Israel, of man and of beast. It is Mine. And Moses said to the people, Remember this day in which you came out of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. For the LORD brought you out from this place by the strength of His hand. There shall be no leavened bread eaten. You are going out this day in the month Abib. And it shall be when the LORD shall bring you into the land of the Canaanites, and the Hittites, and the Amorites, and the Hivites, and the Jebusites, which He swore to your fathers to give you, a land flowing with milk and honey, that you shall keep this service in this month. You shall eat unleavened bread seven days, and in the seventh day shall be a feast to the LORD. Unleavened bread shall be eaten seven days. And there shall be no leavened bread seen with you, nor shall there be leaven seen with you in all your borders. And you shall tell your son in that day, saying, This is because of what the LORD did for me when I came out from Egypt. And it shall be a sign to you upon your hand, and for a memorial between your eyes, that the LORD’s law may be in your mouth. For the Lord has brought you out of Egypt with a strong hand. You shall therefore keep this law in its season from year to year.

Even more boring rabbinic laws.

And it will be, when the LORD shall bring you into the land of the Canaanites, as He swore to you and to your fathers, and shall give it to you, you shall set apart to the LORD every one that opens the womb, and every first-born that comes of any animal which you have; the males shall be the LORD’s. And every first-born of an ass you shall redeem with a lamb. And if you will not redeem it, then you shall break its neck. And all the first-born of man among your sons you shall redeem. And it shall be when your sons asks you in time to come, saying, What is this? you shall say to him, The LORD brought us out of Egypt by the strength of His hand, from the house of bondage. And it happened when Pharaoh would hardly let us go, the LORD killed all the first-born of the land of Egypt, both the first-born of man, and the first-born of animals. Therefore I sacrifice to the LORD all that opens the womb, that are males. But all the first-born of my sons I redeem. And it shall be for a token upon your hand, and for frontlets between your eyes. For the LORD brought us out from Egypt by strength of His hand.

Even more more boring rabbinic laws.

And it happened, when Pharaoh had let the people go, God did not lead them by the way of the land of the Philistines although that was near. For God said, Lest the people repent when they see war, and they return to Egypt. But God led the people around, by the way of the wilderness of the Red Sea. And the sons of Israel went up armed out of the land of Egypt. And Moses took the bones of Joseph with him. For he had strictly sworn the sons of Israel, saying, God will surely visit you, and you shall carry my bones away from here with you. And they moved from Succoth and camped in Etham, in the edge of the wilderness. And the LORD went before them by day in a pillar of a cloud, to lead them the right away, and by night in a pillar of fire, to give them light, to go by day and night. He did not take away the pillar of the cloud by day, nor the pillar of fire by night, from before the people.

Cool, tornado during the day, pillar of fire at night.  

Exodus 14
And the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, Speak to the sons of Israel that they turn and camp before Pihahiroth, between Migdol and the sea, over against Baal-zephon. You shall camp before it, by the sea. For Pharaoh will say of the sons of Israel, They are tangled in the land; the wilderness has shut them in. And I will harden Pharaoh’s heart, that he will follow them. And I will be honored upon Pharaoh, and upon all his army, so that the Egyptians may know that I am the LORD. And they did so. And the king of Egypt was told that the people fled. And the heart of Pharaoh and of his servants was turned against the people. And they said, Why have we done this, that we have let Israel go from serving us? And he made his chariot ready, and took his people with him. And he took six hundred chosen chariots, and all the chariots of Egypt, and captains over every one of them. And the LORD hardened the heart of Pharaoh king of Egypt. And he pursued the sons of Israel, and the sons of Israel went out with a high hand. But the Egyptians pursued them, all the horses and chariots of Pharaoh, and his horsemen, and his army. And they overtook them camping by the sea, beside Pihahiroth, before Baal-zephon.

Didn’t the other people of Egypt notice, you know, the 10 fucking plagues?  Let them go.  600 chariots and all the rest?  Just say all the chariots.

And Pharaoh drew near, the sons of Israel lifted up their eyes. And, behold, the Egyptians marched after them. And they were very afraid. And the sons of Israel cried out to the LORD. And they said to Moses, Have you taken us away to die in the wilderness because there were no graves in Egypt? Why have you dealt this way with us, to carry us forth out of Egypt? Did we not tell you this word in Egypt, saying, Let us alone, so that we may serve the Egyptians? For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians, than that we should die in the wilderness. And Moses said to the people, Do not fear. Stand still and see the salvation of the LORD, which He will prepare for you this day. For the Egyptians whom you have seen today, you shall never see them anymore. The LORD shall fight for you, and you shall be silent.

Finally, the LORD will get off his holy ass and do something.

And the LORD said to Moses, Why do you cry to Me? Speak to the sons of Israel, that they go forward. But lift up your rod and stretch out your hand over the sea, and divide it. And the sons of Israel shall go on dry ground through the midst of the sea. And behold! I am about to harden the hearts of the Egyptians, and they shall follow them. And I will get honor for Me upon Pharaoh, and upon all his army, upon his chariots and upon his horsemen. And the Egyptians shall know that I am the LORD when I have gotten honor for Me upon Pharaoh, upon his chariots, and upon his horsemen. And the Angel of God, the one who went before the camp of Israel, moved. And he went to the rear of them. And the pillar of the cloud went from in front of their face and it stood behind them. And it came between the camp of the Egyptians and the camp of Israel. And it was a cloudy and dark night, but it gave light to the night, so that the one did not come near the other all night.

Pillar of fire holds back the Egyptians.  

And Moses stretched out his hand over the sea. And the LORD caused the sea to recede by a strong east wind all that night, and made the sea dry land, and the waters were divided. And the sons of Israel went into the midst of the sea upon the dry ground. And the waters were a wall to them on their right hand and on their left. And the Egyptians pursued and went after them to the middle of the sea, all Pharaoh’s horses, his chariots, and his horsemen. And in the morning watch it happened that the LORD looked to the army of the Egyptians through the pillar of fire and of the cloud, and troubled the army of the Egyptians. And He took off their chariot wheels, and made them go heavily, so that the Egyptians said, Let us flee from the face of Israel, for the LORD fights for them against the Egyptians. And the LORD said to Moses, Stretch out your hand over the sea, so that the waters may come again upon the Egyptians, upon their chariots, and upon their horsemen. And Moses stretched forth his hand over the sea. And the sea returned to its strength when the morning appeared. And the Egyptians fled against it. And the LORD overthrew the Egyptians in the middle of the sea. And the waters returned and covered the chariots and the horsemen, all the army of Pharaoh that came into the sea after them. There did not remain so much as one of them. But the sons of Israel walked upon dry land in the middle of the sea. And the waters were a wall to them on their right hand and on their left. So the LORD saved Israel that day out of the hand of the Egyptians. And Israel saw the Egyptians dead upon the seashore. And Israel saw that great work which the LORD did upon the Egyptians. And the people feared the LORD, and believed the LORD and His servant Moses.

Umm, yeah, no fucking way.  Parting the Red Sea and knocking the wheels off the chariots.  No way this could of happened or this could of been a real Pharaoh of Egypt.  We have the bodies of Seti and Ramses.  I won’t even get into the walls of water.

Exodus 15
Then the sons of Moses and Israel sang this song to the LORD, and spoke, saying, I will sing to the LORD, for He has triumphed gloriously; the horse and his rider He has thrown into the sea. The LORD is my strength and song, and He has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will glorify Him, my father’s God, and I will exalt Him. The LORD is a Man of war; Jehovah is His name. Pharaoh’s chariots and his army He has thrown into the sea; his chosen captains also are drowned in the Red Sea. The depths have covered them; they sank into the bottom like a stone. Your right hand, O LORD, has become glorious in power. Your right hand, O LORD, has dashed the enemy in pieces. And in the greatness of Your excellency You have overthrown them that rose up against You. You sent forth Your wrath, consuming them like stubble. And with the blast of Your nostrils the waters were gathered together; the floods stood upright like a heap; the depths were curdled in the heart of the sea. The enemy said, I will pursue, I will overtake, I will divide the spoil; my lust shall be satisfied upon them, I will draw my sword, my hand shall destroy them. You blew with Your wind; the sea covered them. They sank like lead in the mighty waters. Who is like You, O LORD, among the gods? Who is like You, glorious in holiness, fearful in praises, doing wonders? You stretched out Your right hand, the earth swallowed them. You in Your mercy have led forth the people which You have redeemed. You have guided them in Your strength to Your holy habitation. The people shall hear, being afraid. Sorrow shall take hold on the people of Philistia. Then the princes of Edom were terrified. Trembling seized upon the mighty men of Moab. All the people of Canaan shall melt away. Fear and dread shall fall upon them. By the greatness of Your arm they shall be still as a stone, until Your people pass over, O LORD; until the people whom You have purchased pass over. You shall bring them and plant them in the mountain of Your inheritance, the place, O LORD, You have made for You to dwell in; the Sanctuary, O LORD, which Your hands have established. The LORD shall reign forever and ever. For the horse of Pharaoh went in with his chariots and with his horsemen into the sea, and the LORD brought again the waters of the sea upon them. But the sons of Israel went on dry land in the middle of the sea. And Miriam the prophetess, the sister of Aaron, took a timbrel in her hand. And all the women went out after her with timbrels and with dances. And Miriam answered them, Sing to the LORD, for He has triumphed gloriously. The horse and his rider He has thrown into the sea.

Jehovah is a god of war, and he is ‘among the gods?’  Jew party time.

And Moses brought Israel from the Red Sea, and they went out into the wilderness of Shur. And they went three days in the wilderness, and found no water. And when they came to Marah, they could not drink of the waters of Marah, because it was bitter. Therefore the name of it was called Marah. And the people murmured against Moses, saying, What shall we drink? And he cried to the LORD. And the LORD showed him a tree. And when he had cast it into the waters, the waters were made sweet. There He made a decree and a law for them, and there He tested them. And he said, If you will carefully listen to the voice of the LORD your God, and will do that which is right in His sight, and will give ear to His commandments, and keep all His laws, I will put none of these diseases upon you, which I have brought upon the Egyptians; for I am the LORD who heals you. And they came to Elim, where there were twelve wells of water, and seventy palm trees. And they camped there by the waters.

Bitter water made sweet using a tree?  Another thing, how do you refer to commandments that are unknown yet?

Exodus 16
And they took their journey from Elim, and all the congregation of the sons of Israel came into the wilderness of Sin, which is between Elim and Sinai, on the fifteenth day of the second month after their departing out of the land of Egypt. And the whole congregation of the sons of Israel murmured against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness. And the sons of Israel said to them, O that we had died by the hand of the LORD in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the flesh-pots, when we ate bread to the full! For you have brought us forth into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger. Then the LORD said to Moses, Behold, I will rain bread from the heavens for you. And the people shall go out and gather a certain amount every day, that I may test them, whether they will walk in My law or not. And on the sixth day it shall happen, they shall prepare what they bring in. And it shall be twice as much as they gather day by day. And Moses and Aaron said to all the sons of Israel, At evening, then you shall know that the LORD has brought you out from the land of Egypt. And in the morning, then you shall see the glory of the LORD. For He hears your murmurings against the LORD. And what are we, that you murmur against us? And Moses said, You will see when the LORD shall give you flesh to eat in the evening and bread to the full in the morning, when the LORD hears your murmurings which you murmur against Him. And what are we? Your murmurings are not against us, but against the LORD. And Moses spoke to Aaron, Say to all the congregation of the sons of Israel, Come near before the LORD. For He has heard your murmurings. And it happened as Aaron spoke to the whole congregation of the sons of Israel, they turned toward the wilderness. And behold! The glory of the LORD appeared in the cloud! And the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, I have heard the murmurings of the sons of Israel. Speak to them, saying, You shall eat flesh at evening, and in the morning you shall be filled with bread. And you shall know that I am the LORD your God.

Complaints about starving in the wilderness, so the LORD drops magical food.  I see the LORD was the magical caterer from early on in the Bible.

And it happened at evening, the quails came up and covered the camp. And in the morning the dew lay all around the host. And when the layer of dew had gone up, behold, there was a small round thing upon the face of the wilderness, small as the hoar-frost upon the ground. And when the sons of Israel saw, they said each one to his brother, What is that? For they did not know what it was. And Moses said to them, This is the bread which the LORD has given you to eat. This is the thing which the LORD has commanded: Each man gather of it according to his eating, an omer for a head, according to the number of your souls. Each one shall take for those who are in his camp. And the sons of Israel did so, and gathered, some more, and some less. And when they measured with an omer, he that gathered much had nothing over, and he that gathered little lacked nothing. They gathered each one according to his eating. And Moses said, Let no man leave of it until the morning. But they did not listen to Moses, but some of them left of it until the morning. And it became rotten with maggots, and stank. And Moses was angry with them. And they gathered it every morning, each man according to his eating. And when the sun became hot, it melted.

Magic food.

And it happened, on the sixth day they gathered twice as much bread, two omers for one. And all the rulers of the congregation came and told Moses. And he said to them, This is that which the LORD has said, Tomorrow is the rest of the holy sabbath to the LORD. Bake what you will bake today, and boil what you will boil. And that which remains over, lay up for you to be kept until the morning. And they laid it up until the morning, as Moses said. And it did not stink, neither was there any worm in it. And Moses said, Eat that today. For today is a sabbath to the LORD. Today you shall not find it in the field. Six days you shall gather it, but on the seventh day, the sabbath, in it there shall be none. And it happened some of the people went out on the seventh day in order to gather. And they did not find any. And the LORD said to Moses, How long do you refuse to keep My commandments and My laws? See, because the LORD has given you the sabbath, therefore He gives you the bread of two days on the sixth day. Each one stay in his place. Let not any one go out of his place on the seventh day. So the people rested on the seventh day. And the house of Israel called the name of it Manna. And it was like coriander seed, white. And the taste of it was like wafers with honey.

Even more magic food. Again, what commandments are they breaking?  Still not written down.  

And Moses said, This is the thing which the LORD has commanded: Fill an omer of it to be kept for your generations, so that you may see the bread with which I have fed you in the wilderness, when I brought you forth from the land of Egypt. And Moses said to Aaron, Take a pot and put an omer full of manna in it, and lay it up before the LORD, to be kept for your generations. As the LORD commanded Moses, so Aaron laid it up before the Testimony, to be kept. And the sons of Israel ate manna forty years, until they came to a land in which people lived. They ate manna until they came into the borders of the land of Canaan. And an omer is the tenth part of an ephah.

This stuff, the manna was supposed to be kept as a sample to know what is written down here was not complete BS.  Well, no such evidence was found, so, yeah, its still is bullshit.

Exodus 17
And all the congregation of the sons of Israel journeyed from the wilderness of Sin, after their journeys, according to the command of the Lord, and pitched in Rephidim. And there was no water for the people to drink. And the people wrangled with Moses and said, Give us water that we may drink. And Moses said to them, Why do you wrangle with me? Why do you tempt the LORD? And the people thirsted there for water. And the people murmured against Moses and said, Why is this, that You brought us up out of Egypt, to kill us and our sons and our cattle with thirst? And Moses cried to the LORD, saying, What shall I do to this people? They are almost ready to stone me. And the LORD said to Moses, Go on in front of the people, and take with you the elders of Israel. And take your rod with which you struck the river, in your hand, and go. Behold, I will stand before you there upon the rock in Horeb. And you shall smite the rock, and there shall come water out of it, so that the people may drink. And Moses did so in the sight of the elders of Israel. And he called the name of the place Massah, and Meribah, because of the wrangling of the sons of Israel, and because they tempted the LORD, saying, Is the LORD among us or not?

Water from a rock?  Pretty cool miracle.  Impossible, but there it is.

Then Amalek came and fought with Israel in Rephidim. And Moses said to Joshua, Choose us out men, and go out to fight with Amalek. Tomorrow I will stand on the top of the hill with the rod of God in my hand. And Joshua did as Moses had said to him, and fought with Amalek. And Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up to the top of the hill. And it happened when Moses held up his hand, Israel prevailed. And when he let down his hand, Amalek prevailed. But Moses’ hands became heavy. And they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it. And Aaron and Hur held up his hands, the one on the one side, and the other on the other side. And his hands were steady until the going of the sun. And Joshua defeated Amalek and his people by the mouth of the sword. And the LORD said to Moses, Write this, a memorial in a book, and set it in the ears of Joshua, that I will utterly put out the remembrance of Amalek from under heavens. And Moses built an altar, and called the name of it Jehovah My Banner. And he said, A hand is on the throne of the LORD; war is to the LORD with Amalek from generation to generation.

Really a pro war god.  Does not seem all that loving to me.

Exodus 18
When Jethro, the priest of Midian, Moses’ father-in-law, heard of all that God had done for Moses and for Israel his people, that the LORD had brought Israel out of Egypt, then Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law, took Zipporah, Moses’ wife, after he had sent her back, and her two sons, of which the name of the one was Gershom (for he said, I have been an alien in a strange land), and the name of the other was Eliezer (for the God of my father, my help, delivered me from the sword of Pharaoh.) And Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law, came with his sons and his wife to Moses in the wilderness, where he camped at the mount of God. And he said to Moses, I, your father-in-law Jethro, have come to you, and your wife and her two sons with her.

So?

And Moses went out to meet his father-in-law, and bowed down to him, and kissed him. And they asked each other of their welfare. And they came into the tent. And Moses told his father-in-law all that the LORD had done to Pharaoh and the Egyptians for Israel’s sake, all the travail that had come upon them by the way, and how the LORD delivered them. And Jethro rejoiced for all the goodness which the LORD had done to Israel, whom He had delivered out of the hand of the Egyptians. And Jethro said, Blessed be the LORD, who has delivered you out of the hand of the Egyptians and out of the hand of Pharaoh, and who has delivered the people from under the hand of the Egyptians. Now I know that Jehovah is greater than all gods; for in the thing in which they were proved against them. And Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law, took a burnt offering and sacrifices for God. And Aaron came, and all the elders of Israel, to eat bread with Moses’ father-in-law before God.

Oh yeah, definitely other gods out there.

And on the next day it happened that Moses sat to judge the people. And the people stood by Moses from the morning to the evening. And when Moses’ father-in-law saw all that he did to the people, he said, What is this thing which you do to the people? Why do you sit alone by yourself, and all the people stand by you from morning to evening? And Moses said to his father-in-law, Because the people come to me to inquire of God. When they have a matter, they come to me. And I judge between one and another, and I make known the statutes of God and His laws. And Moses’ father-in-law said to him, The thing that you do is not good. You will surely wear away, both you and this people that is with you. For this thing is too heavy for you; you are not able to perform it alone. Listen now to my voice; I will give you counsel, and God will be with you. You be for the people toward God, that you may bring the causes to God. And you shall teach them ordinances and laws, and shall make them know the way in which they must walk, and the work that they must do. And you shall look out of all the people able men, such as fear God, men of truth, hating covetousness. And place such over them to be rulers of thousands, and rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties, and rulers of tens. And let them judge the people at all times. And it shall be, every great matter they shall bring to you, but every small matter they shall judge. And make it easier for yourself, and they shall bear with you. If you will do this thing, and God command you, then you shall be able to endure, and all this people shall also go to their place in peace. And Moses listened to the voice of his father-in-law, and did all that he had said. And Moses chose able men out of all Israel, and made them heads over the people, rulers of thousands, rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties, and rulers of tens. And they judged the people at all times. The hard causes they brought to Moses, but every small matter they judged themselves. And Moses let his father-in-law depart. And he went his way into his own land.

So Moses chose the judges, but what are the laws?

Exodus 19
In the third month when the sons of Israel had gone forth out of the land of Egypt, on this day they came to the wilderness of Sinai. And they journeyed from Rephidim, and came to the desert of Sinai, and had pitched in the wilderness. And Israel camped there in front of the mount. And Moses went up to God, and the LORD called to him out of the mountain, saying, You shall say to the house of Jacob, and tell the sons of Israel: You have seen what I did to the Egyptians, and I bore you on eagles’ wings and brought you to Myself. And now if you will obey My voice indeed, and keep My covenant, then you shall be a peculiar treasure to Me above all the nations; for all the earth is Mine. And you shall be to Me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation. These are the words which you shall speak to the sons of Israel. And Moses came and called for the elders of the people, and laid before their faces all these words which the LORD commanded him. And all the people answered together and said, All that the LORD has spoken we will do. And Moses returned the words of the people to the LORD.

Pretty poetry, saying nothing.

And the LORD said to Moses, Lo, I come to you in a thick cloud, that the people may hear when I speak with you, and believe you forever. And Moses told the words of the people to the LORD. And the LORD said to Moses, Go to the people and sanctify them today and tomorrow, and let them wash their clothes. And be ready for the third day. For the third day the LORD will come down in the sight of all the people upon Mount Sinai. And you shall set bounds to the people round about, saying, Take heed to yourselves. Do not go up into the mountain, or touch the border of it. Whoever touches the mountain shall be surely put to death. There shall not be a hand to touch it, but that he shall surely be stoned or shot through; whether beast or man, it shall not live. When the trumpet sounds long, they shall come up to the mountain. And Moses went down from the mountain to the people, and sanctified the people. And they washed their clothes. And he said to the people, Be ready for the third day. Do not approach a woman.

Wash your clothes, don’t touch your wife, and get ready for god…and don’t touch that mountain.  

And it happened on the third day in the morning, that there were thunders and lightnings, and a thick cloud upon the mountain. And the voice of the trumpet was exceedingly loud, so that all the people in the camp trembled. And Moses brought the people out of the camp to meet with God. And they stood at the lower part of the mountain. And Mount Sinai was smoking, all of it, because the LORD came down upon it in fire. And the smoke of it went up like the smoke of a furnace, and the whole mountain quaked greatly. And when the voice of the trumpet sounded long, and became very strong, Moses spoke, and God answered him by a voice. And the LORD came down upon Mount Sinai, on the top of the mountain. And the LORD called Moses to the top of the mountain, and Moses went up. And the LORD said to Moses, Go down. Command the people, lest they break through to the LORD to gaze, and many of them perish. And let the priests also, who come near to the LORD, sanctify themselves, lest the LORD break forth upon them. And Moses said to the LORD, The people cannot come up to Mount Sinai. For You commanded us, saying, Set bounds around the mountain, and sanctify it. And the LORD said to him, Away! You go down, and you shall come up, you and Aaron with you. But do not let the priests and the people break through to come up to the LORD, lest He break forth upon them. And Moses went down to the people, and spoke to them.

So, this is 100% a volcano description.  So Moses goes up, then down, then up, then down the mountain, then up with Aaron?

Exodus 20
And God spoke all these words, saying, I am the LORD your God, who has brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before Me. You shall not make to yourselves any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in the heavens above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow yourself down to them, nor serve them. For I the LORD your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the sons to the third and fourth generation of those that hate me, and showing mercy to thousands of those that love Me and keep My commandments. You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain. For the LORD will not hold him guiltless that takes His name in vain. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work. But the seventh day is the Sabbath of the LORD your God. You shall not do any work, you nor your son, nor your daughter, your manservant, nor your maidservant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger within your gates. For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day, and sanctified it.

The first few commandments.  Almost half of the ten are apparently because the LORD is insecure.  

Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God gives you. You shall not kill. You shall not commit adultery. You shall not steal. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.

These practical commandments are really glossed over.  Don’t kill, commit adultery, steal, bear false witness or covet your neighbor or his wife.  Good think wife, servant, ox, and ass are all lumped together.

And all the people saw the thunderings, and the lightnings, and the noise of the trumpet, and the mountain smoking. And when the people saw, they trembled, and stood afar off. And they said to Moses, You speak with us, and we will hear. But let not God speak with us, lest we die. And Moses said to the people, Do not fear, for God has come to test you, and so that His fear may be before your faces, so that you may not sin. And the people stood afar off, and Moses drew near to the thick darkness where God was.

So?

And the LORD said to Moses, So you shall say to the sons of Israel, You have seen that I have talked with you from the heavens. You shall not make with Me gods of silver, neither shall you make to you gods of gold. You shall make an altar of earth to Me, and shall sacrifice on it your burnt offerings and your peace offerings, your sheep and your oxen. In all places where I record My name I will come to you, and I will bless you. And if you will make Me an altar of stone, you shall not build it of cut stone. For if you lift up your tool upon it, you have defiled it. And you shall not go up by steps to My altar, that your nakedness be not uncovered on it.

More commandments, no gods of god (which he said already) followed by altars made of stone which has never been worked on with tools.  Hmmm, every church I have seen is made of cut stone.