Looking for Jesus

I am making my way though The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel, but I have to pause and go and actually read the 4 gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, since this is his ONLY source of information on Jesus.  So, I will be skipping ahead to the New Testament in my Bible study.

Edit 2/15/2018:

You know what, now that I am about 1/3rd of the way through Matthew, anyone who believes in this shit is fucking nuts.  Seriously.  Raising people from the dead, cure the blind, sick, lepers, paralyzed, EXORCISING DEMONS INTO PIGS; did I mention RAISING PEOPLE FROM THE DEAD???????????  Not just Jesus, but his disciples, too!  You have to be fucking kidding me.  I don’t give a hairy rat’s ass when this was written, or by whom, IT IS FICTION.  Demons aren’t real AND DEAD IS DEAD.  There is no mostly dead, kinda dead, fucking dead is dead.  We are not talking about Jesus missing from his tomb, this is ordinary people being raised FROM THE FUCKING DEAD.  If you believe in this obvious mythology, you are delusional.

eDIT 3/19/2018

Sherlock Holmes and The Case For Christ

I have a confession to make, when I was a boy, I thought Sherlock Holmes was a real, actual person, not a fictional character.  The places he lived were real places, he had amazing powers of deduction, but no magic.  Why would I not believe he was a real person?  That is what happens when you don’t read the forward to a book, you assume that Dr. John Watson wrote the adventures of Sherlock Holmes, not Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.  What am I talking about?  Well, because, while reading the Case for Christ, I was struck at every single justification for Jesus being a real person, risen from the dead, could be used for justifying the existence of a real Sherlock Holmes.

To make this more interesting, I will run a chapter by chapter rebuttal and name it The Case for Sherlock Holmes.

 

 

 

Finding Hell

Some Christian apologists describe hell as a separation from god, not the fiery pit we all think of.  I don’t know how separation from a god you don’t think exists is hell, but I got me wondering:  How is hell described in the Bible?

With the magic of Xiphos and the search feature, lets find every reference to hell in the Modern King James Version of the Bible:

Deuteronomy  32:22  For a fire is kindled in My anger, and shall burn to the lowest hell, and shall consume the earth with its increase, and set on fire the foundations of the mountains.

Sounds pretty hot and fiery to me.

II Samuel 22:6 When the waves of death encircled me, the floods of ungodly men made me afraid.  The sorrows of hell hemmed me in. The snares of death went in front of me.

Not much here to go off of.

Job 11:8  Can you perfectly find out the Almighty?  Heights of the heavens! What can you do?It is deeper than hell, what can you know?  The measure of it is longer than the earth, and broader than the sea.

Hell is described as a physical place, a very deep place.

Job 26:6  Hell is naked before Him, and the Pit has no covering.

Hell is a pit.

Psalms 9:17 The wicked shall be turned into hell, all the nations that forget God.

Still sounds like hell is a physical place, and the nations have already forgotten god.

Psalms 16:10  My flesh also shall rest in hope;  For You will not leave My soul in hell; You will not allow Your Holy One to see corruption.

First mention of a soul in hell.

Psalms 18:5  The sorrows of death hemmed me in, and the floods of ungodly men made me afraid.  The sorrows of hell surrounded me; the snares of death confronted me.  

First indication that hell is being compared to ungodly men.

Psalms 55:15  Let desolation take hold on them, and let them go down alive into hell; for evils are among them in their dwellings.

Go alive into hell.  Hell is a physical place.

Psalms 86:13  For great is Your mercy toward me; and You have delivered my soul from the lowest hell. 

Hell still a physical place.  Rephrased Psalms 16:10.

Psalms 116:3 The sorrows of death hemmed me in, and the pains of hell took hold on me; I found trouble and sorrow.

Same as Psalms 18:5 without the ungodly men.  Still sounds like physical place.

Proverbs 5:5  Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell,  lest you should meditate on the path of life, her tracks are movable; you cannot know them.

Going down to a hell.  Still physical sounding.

Proverbs 7:27  Her house is the way to hell, going down to the rooms of death.

Hell is still a place.

Proverbs 9:18  But he does not know that the dead are there; her guests are in the depths of hell. 

Depths of hell.  Sounds pretty physical to me.

Proverbs 15:11    Hell and destruction are before the LORD; even more the hearts of the sons of men? 

Really sounds like god made hell.

Proverbs 15:24    The way of life is above to the wise, so that he may turn away from hell below. 

Hell is below, physically below.

Proverbs 23:14  Do not withhold correction from a boy, for if you beat him with the rod, he will not die.  You shall beat him with the rod, and shall deliver his soul from hell.  

Child abuse, beating with a rod, and soul that goes to hell.  No mention of separation from god here.

Proverbs 27:20  Hell and destruction are never full; so the eyes of man are never satisfied.

Hell is a place that is never full.

Isaiah 5:14  So hell has enlarged itself, and opened its mouth without measure; and their glory, and their multitude, and their pride, and he who rejoices in her, shall go down into it.

Hell is a place, that has a mouth that can be infinite.

Isaiah 14:9  Hell from below is moved for you, to meet you at your coming. It stirs up the dead for you, all the he-goats of the earth. It has raised from their thrones all the kings of the nations.

Hell is still a physical place.

Isaiah 14:15    I will go up above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the Most High.  Yet you shall be brought down to hell, to the sides of the Pit.

Down to hell, sides of the Pit.

Isaiah 28:15   Because you have said, We have made a covenant with death, and we have made a vision with hell; when the overwhelming rod shall pass through, it shall not come to us; for we have made lies our refuge, and we have hidden ourselves under falsehood,  therefore so says the Lord Jehovah, Behold, I place in Zion a Stone for a foundation, a tried Stone, a precious Cornerstone, a sure Foundation; he who believes shall not hurry.

Hell is still a place.

Isaiah 28:18  And your covenant with death shall be wiped out, and your vision with hell shall not stand; when the overwhelming rod shall pass through, then you shall be beaten down by it.

Still sounds like a place, beaten down by it.

Isaiah 57:9  And you went to the king with ointment, and increased your perfumes, and sent your messengers far off, and lowered yourself even to hell. 

Lowered to hell.

Ezekiel 31:16-17  I made the nations shake at the sound of his fall, when I cast him down to hell with those who go down in the Pit. And all the trees of Eden, the choice and best of Lebanon, all that drink water, shall be comforted in the lower parts of the earth.   They also went down into hell with him to those who are slain with the sword, even his arm, who lived under his shadow in the midst of the nations.

Hell is described as the Pit.  Down to hell.  Still no mention of separation from god.

Ezekiel 32:21  The strong among the mighty shall speak to him out of the midst of hell with those who help him. They have gone down, they lie uncircumcised, slain by the sword.

Back to hell.

Ezekiel 32:27  And they shall not lie with the mighty that are fallen of the uncircumcised, who have gone down to hell with their weapons of war. And they have put their swords under their heads, but their sins shall be on their bones, though they were the terror of the mighty in the land of the living.

Down to hell, with weapons of war.

Amos 9:2   If they dig into hell, there My hand shall take them. And if they go up to the heavens, I will bring them down from there.

You can dig to hell.

New Testament Hell:

Matthew 5:22  But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be liable to the judgment. And whoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be liable to the sanhedrin; but whoever shall say, Fool! shall be liable to be thrown into the fire of hell. 

Thrown into the fire of hell.

Matthew 5:29   And if your right eye offends you, pluck it out and throw it from you. For it is profitable for you that one of your members should perish, and not that your whole body should be thrown into hell. 

Whole body thrown into hell, and pluck your own eye out?  Really?

Matthew 5:30  And if your right hand offends you, cut it off and throw it from you. For it is profitable for you that one of your members should perish, and not that your whole body should be thrown into hell.

Hand instead of eye this time.

Matthew 10:28  And do not fear those who kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul. But rather fear Him who can destroy both soul and body in hell.

This is an interesting one, seems to imply the soul can be destroyed in hell.  Annihilation?

Matthew 11:23  And you, Capernaum, who are exalted to the heaven, shall be brought down to hell. For if the mighty works which have been done in you had been done in Sodom, it would have remained until this day.

Up to heaven, down to hell.  No idea what the rest means.

Matthew 16:18 And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.

Gates of Hell.  Again, physical place.

Matthew 18:9  And if your eye offends you, pluck it out and throw it from you. It is better for you to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into the hell of fire.

Same exact thing as Matthew 5:29.  Why?  Hell of fire.

Matthew 23:15  Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you compass sea and the dry land to make one proselyte, and when he is made, you make him twofold more the child of hell than yourselves.

Don’t know.

Matthew 23:33   Serpents! Offspring of vipers! How can you escape the condemnation of hell?

Hell has snakes.

Mark 9:43  And if your hand offends you, cut it off. It is better for you to enter into life maimed than to have two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched.

Really, again?  However, this add a fire that never shall be quenched.

Mark 9:45-47   And if your foot offends you, cut it off. It is better for you to enter into life lame than to have two feet to be cast into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched  where their worm dies not, and the fire is not quenched.  And if your eye offends you, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes to be cast into hell fire  where their worm dies not, and the fire is not quenched.

Foot this time, and back to eyes and a fire that can’t be quenched.

Luke 10:15   And you, Capernaum, which has been lifted up to Heaven, you shall be thrust down into hell.

Didn’t we read this before?  Still down to hell.

Luke 12:5  But I will warn you of whom you shall fear: Fear Him who, after He has killed, has authority to cast into hell. Yea, I say to you, fear Him.

This is an interesting one, is appears god casts you to hell.  It is his choice.

Luke 16:23  And in hell he lifted up his eyes, being in torments, and saw Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom.

Hell is a place, being in torment.  Not sure what Abraham holding Lazarus in his bosom means.

James 3:6  And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. So the tongue is set among our members, spotting all the body and inflaming the course of nature, and being inflamed by hell.

Yep, more fiery hell.

Revelation 1:18  Do not fear, I am the First and the Last,  and the Living One, and I became dead, and behold, I am alive for ever and ever, Amen. And I have the keys of hell and of death.

Again, god is the one who is in charge of death and hell.

Revelation 6:8  And I looked, and behold, a pale horse. And the name of him sitting on it was Death, and Hell followed with him. And authority was given to them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with the sword and with hunger and with death and by the beasts of the earth.

This time Hell is used as a proper name.  Are Death and Hell one in the same?  Not sure.

Revelation 20:13  And the sea gave up the dead in it. And death and hell delivered up the dead in them. And each one of them was judged according to their works.

Sounds like in this case hell is just the ground.  Interestingly, it does appear that we are judged by our works.  Hmmm.

Revelation 201:14   And death and hell were cast into the Lake of Fire. This is the second death. And if anyone was not found having been written in the Book of Life, he was cast into the Lake of Fire.

Well, there you have it.  Lake of Fire.

This was every reference I could find in the Bible to hell.  As with a lot of the Bible, there are repeats.  I don’t see separation from god in here as an alternative to an unquenchable flame and a Lake of Fire and torment.  Hell pretty much meets up with the classic understanding of hell.  A fiery place, full of torment.  Any apologists out there who want to point out the alternative view?  I quoted EVERY Bible verse.  I did not omit one jot or tiddle.

I did look online for some reference to separation from god, and found this:

II Thessalonians  For this is a manifest token of the righteous judgment of God, that you may be counted worthy of the kingdom of God for which you also suffer,  since it is a righteous thing with God to repay tribulation to those who trouble you,  and to give rest with us to you who are troubled, at the revealing of the Lord Jesus from Heaven with the angels of His power,  in flaming fire taking vengeance on those who do not know God and who do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ,  who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of His power,  when He shall come to be glorified in His saints and to be admired in all those who believe (because our testimony among you was believed) in that Day.

In flaming fire…punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord…  Well.  I am more concerned with fire and destruction than separation from the presence of the Lord.  Seems coincidental, not the main focus.

On the theological side, I have read both arguments, and, to be honest, I have to agree with the old fire and brimstone idea of hell.  If you actually read the Bible, that is clearly what it is describing.   I could fine no evidence otherwise.

 

Biblical Morality and Keller

Tried plowing through the book by Timothy Keller, An Invitation to the Skeptical, Making Sense of God.  I saw many 5 star reviews for the book, with extensive praise being heaped upon the author and this book.  I have to be honest, he was neither compelling or interesting.  Excessive use of “quotes” and endnotes made reading tedious.  The first 4/5ths of the book are dedicated to insulting the secular worldview.  The book is loaded with logical fallacies that are too numerous to list here.  I am not going back to review this dreck chapter by chapter.

As a skeptic, Keller really missed the mark trying to convince me.  He makes too many assumptions of the reader and makes odd choices, such as refuting an evolutionary biologist using song lyrics.  No, I am not kidding.  He uses Nietzsche like a crutch; quote mines authors far more capable than himself.  He constantly conflates belief with faith and uses solipsism as a  justification of the assertion that secularism requires as much faith as religion.  He uses numerous omissions and lies, such as ancient people did not contemplate the problem of evil.  Epicurious anyone?

The last fifth of the book it dedicated to good, old fashioned apologetics.  Not limited to, but including, the Kalam argument, argument from fine tuning, morality and others.  A large section of the book is dedicated to the idea that morality can only be derived from an absolute morality.  Personally, I am a moral relativist.

The book did get me thinking, just what the heck are Judeo-Christian morals?  The author certainly didn’t define them.  He had very, very short Bible quotes, and none really outlined what that morality is.  For a Christian pastor, he really does not refer to the Bible in any coherent way.  So, to the internet I went and found 40 Bible verses for Morality and Redemption.  So, let’s dive in and see what moral absolutes the Bible has to offer:

Leviticus 11:44-45

‘For I am the LORD your God Consecrate yourselves therefore, and be holy, for I am holy. And you shall not make yourselves unclean with any of the swarming things that swarm on the earth. ‘For I am the LORD who brought you up from the land of Egypt to be your God; thus you shall be holy, for I am holy.'”

 So, don’t have sex with animals?  Wow, thanks for that little nugget of morality.

Matthew 5:48

“Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Not sure how this relates to morality.

Matthew 5:43-44

“You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR and hate your enemy.’ “But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,

Nice thought, not very useful in the real world.

Luke 6:27-28

“But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

Well, really the same thing as the last statement, moving on.

Luke 6:35-36

“But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

Again, the same thing as the last 2 quotes.  Be good for goodness sake and have mercy.  Nice concept, probably get you shot in the end.

1 Peter 1:15-16

but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior; because it is written, “YOU SHALL BE HOLY, FOR I AM HOLY.”

No idea how this is morality.  Redemption, maybe?

Isaiah 51:4

“Pay attention to Me, O My people, And give ear to Me, O My nation; For a law will go forth from Me, And I will set My justice for a light of the peoples.

Must be a little out of context.  No morals here, just a call for justice.

Romans 7:12

So then, the Law is holy, and the commandment is holy and righteous and good.

Something is good and holy because it is good and holy.  Kinda circular.

Exodus 20:1-7

Then God spoke all these words, saying, “I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. “You shall have no other gods before Me. read more.

No other gods before me.  Not really a moral thing here, just a jealous god.

Deuteronomy 6:25

“It will be righteousness for us if we are careful to observe all this commandment before the LORD our God, just as He commanded us.

Obey the commandments that are commanded.  No morals here, just adherence to the rules.

Psalm 119:137-138

Righteous are You, O LORD, And upright are Your judgments. You have commanded Your testimonies in righteousness And exceeding faithfulness.

No idea.

Psalm 147:19-20

He declares His words to Jacob, His statutes and His ordinances to Israel. He has not dealt thus with any nation; And as for His ordinances, they have not known them. Praise the LORD!

Just what are those statutes and ordinances?  10 commandments?  619 rules?

Proverbs 29:18

Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained, But happy is he who keeps the law.

Just obey the rules and you will be happy.

Isaiah 51:7

“Listen to Me, you who know righteousness, A people in whose heart is My law; Do not fear the reproach of man, Nor be dismayed at their revilings.

No morals here, either.

Amos 2:6-7

Thus says the LORD, “For three transgressions of Israel and for four I will not revoke its punishment, Because they sell the righteous for money And the needy for a pair of sandals. “These who pant after the very dust of the earth on the head of the helpless Also turn aside the way of the humble; And a man and his father resort to the same girl In order to profane My holy name.

Help the helpless and Father and Son should not fuck the same girl?  Deep morals there, I tell you.

Isaiah 1:15-23

“So when you spread out your hands in prayer, I will hide My eyes from you; Yes, even though you multiply prayers, I will not listen Your hands are covered with blood. “Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean; Remove the evil of your deeds from My sight Cease to do evil, Learn to do good; Seek justice, Reprove the ruthless, Defend the orphan, Plead for the widow. read more.

So be a public defender.

Amos 5:21-24

“I hate, I reject your festivals, Nor do I delight in your solemn assemblies. “Even though you offer up to Me burnt offerings and your grain offerings, I will not accept them; And I will not even look at the peace offerings of your fatlings. “Take away from Me the noise of your songs; I will not even listen to the sound of your harps. read more.

No morals here, god is not listening.

Micah 6:8

He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the LORD require of you But to do justice, to love kindness, And to walk humbly with your God?

Be just, kind, and humble.  Sounds like someone has been borrowing from the Tao or Buddhist ideals.

Ephesians 5:5

For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

Kind of vague here.  Simple rules not be an idolater or coveter.

Colossians 3:5-7

Therefore consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry. For it is because of these things that the wrath of God will come upon the sons of disobedience, and in them you also once walked, when you were living in them.

More impurity, passion, evil desire and greed=idolatry.

John 1:14

And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth.

No morals, just redemption.

Matthew 5:17-20

“Do not think that I came to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I did not come to abolish but to fulfill. “For truly I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or stroke shall pass from the Law until all is accomplished. “Whoever then annuls one of the least of these commandments, and teaches others to do the same, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever keeps and teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven. read more.

So morals are the 10 commandments then.

John 1:17-18

For the Law was given through Moses; grace and truth were realized through Jesus Christ. No one has seen God at any time; the only begotten God who is in the bosom of the Father, He has explained Him.

More redemption and contradiction.

John 3:19

“This is the judgment, that the Light has come into the world, and men loved the darkness rather than the Light, for their deeds were evil.

Circular reasoning here.

Hebrews 4:15

For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin.

Don’t know.

Deuteronomy 24:17-18

“You shall not pervert the justice due an alien or an orphan, nor take a widow’s garment in pledge. “But you shall remember that you were a slave in Egypt, and that the LORD your God redeemed you from there; therefore I am commanding you to do this thing.

No real lesson here.

Leviticus 19:13-18

‘You shall not oppress your neighbor, nor rob him The wages of a hired man are not to remain with you all night until morning. ‘You shall not curse a deaf man, nor place a stumbling block before the blind, but you shall revere your God; I am the LORD. ‘You shall do no injustice in judgment; you shall not be partial to the poor nor defer to the great, but you are to judge your neighbor fairly. read more.

Don’t steal, pay the man right away, don’t be a dick to the deaf, blind.  Treat everyone equally.  Finally, some real morals.  Really, not earth shattering moral absolutes here, just empathy.

Deuteronomy 15:12-15

“If your kinsman, a Hebrew man or woman, is sold to you, then he shall serve you six years, but in the seventh year you shall set him free. “When you set him free, you shall not send him away empty-handed. “You shall furnish him liberally from your flock and from your threshing floor and from your wine vat; you shall give to him as the LORD your God has blessed you. read more.

Good, solid morals for keeping slaves here.  If you read the complete quote, you can keep the slaves forever if they are married.

Deuteronomy 24:21-22

“When you gather the grapes of your vineyard, you shall not go over it again; it shall be for the alien, for the orphan, and for the widow. “You shall remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt; therefore I am commanding you to do this thing.

Leave the scraps for the poor.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.

Don’t defile yourself.

Romans 12:1-2

Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

No morals, just redemption.

Ezekiel 36:26-27

“Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. “I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will be careful to observe My ordinances.

More redemption and we will be stone, then not stone, but stone?

1 Corinthians 6:9-11

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.

Kind of harsh here.  If you are effeminate or gay you can’t get into heaven?  The rest of the items on this list are a choice, but not if you are gay or effeminate.

Romans 8:3-4

For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, so that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

More redemption, blood sacrifice.

Galatians 5:19-24

Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. read more.

So, if  you act like a normal adult, you can’t get into heaven.  I see they prohibit just about every fun thing out there.

Ephesians 4:22-24

that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.

Redemption theme.

Philippians 2:12-13

So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.

Redemption?  Maybe?

Colossians 3:8-12

But now you also, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, since you laid aside the old self with its evil practices, and have put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him– read more.

 

Hebrews 8:10

“FOR THIS IS THE COVENANT THAT I WILL MAKE WITH THE HOUSE OF ISRAEL AFTER THOSE DAYS, SAYS THE LORD: I WILL PUT MY LAWS INTO THEIR MINDS, AND I WILL WRITE THEM ON THEIR HEARTS. AND I WILL BE THEIR GOD, AND THEY SHALL BE MY PEOPLE.

Jeremiah 31:33

“But this is the covenant which I will make with the house of Israel after those days,” declares the LORD, “I will put My law within them and on their heart I will write it; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people.

Switching Gears

The old testament has me beat, stuck in Psalms for now, so jumping to the New Testament.  I have heard Christ, real or not, was a great moral teacher.  Let’s find out!

As always, my comments are in block quotes.  I know the order should be be Mark, Matthew, Luke, and John, if done chronologically, but I will stick with the traditions order.  So, off to Matthew we go.

And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the sons, and the heart of the sons to their fathers, that I not come and strike the earth with utter destruction.

The old testament has me beat, stuck in Psalms for now, so jumping to the New Testament. I have heard Christ, real or not, was a great moral teacher. Let’s find out!

As always, my comments are in block quotes.  I know the order should be be Mark, Matthew, Luke, and John, if done chronologically, but I will stick with the traditional order. So, off to Matthew we go.

Chapter 1

The book of the genealogy of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham. Abraham fathered Isaac, and Isaac fathered Jacob, and Jacob fathered Judah and his brothers. And Judah fathered Pharez and Zarah of Tamar. And Pharez fathered Hezron, and Hezron fathered Ram, and Ram fathered Amminadab, and Amminadab fathered Nahshon, and Nahshon fathered Salmon. And Salmon fathered Boaz of Rahab, and Boaz fathered Obed of Ruth, and Obed fathered Jesse, and Jesse fathered David the king. And David the king fathered Solomon of her who had been wife of Uriah. And Solomon fathered Rehoboam, and Rehoboam fathered Abijah, and Abijah fathered Asa. And Asa fathered Jehoshaphat, and Jehoshaphat fathered Jehoram, and Jehoram fathered Uzziah. And Uzziah fathered Jotham, and Jotham fathered Ahaz, and Ahaz fathered Hezekiah. And Hezekiah fathered Manasseh, and Manasseh fathered Amon, and Amon fathered Josiah. And Josiah fathered Jehoiachin and his brothers, at the time they were carried away to Babylon. And after the carrying away to Babylon, Jehoiachin fathered Shealtiel, and Shealtiel fathered Zerubbabel. And Zerubbabel fathered Abiud, and Abiud fathered Eliakim, and Eliakim fathered Azor. And Azor fathered Sadoc, and Sadoc fathered Achim, and Achim fathered Eliud. And Eliud fathered Eleazar, and Eleazar fathered Matthan, and Matthan fathered Jacob. And Jacob fathered Joseph, the husband to be of Mary, of whom Jesus was born, who is called Christ. So all the generations from Abraham to David are fourteen generations. And from David until the carrying away into Babylon, fourteen generations. And from the carrying away into Babylon until Christ, fourteen generations.

A few things to comment on here: why do we care about the genealogy of Joseph, the husband to be of Mary? He’s not the father and has no genetic contribution. I know the 14 14 14 generations are just there because the Jews were a little obsessed with the number 14. None of these names matter.

Now the birth of Jesus Christ was this way (for His mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph) before they came together, she was found to be with child by the Holy Spirit. But Joseph, her husband to be, being just, and not willing to make her a public example, he purposed to put her away secretly. And as he thought upon these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take to you Mary as your wife. For that in her is fathered of the Holy Spirit. And she shall bear a son, and you shall call His name JESUS: for He shall save His people from their sins. Now all this happened so that might be fulfilled that spoken of the LORD by the prophet, saying, “Behold, the virgin shall conceive in her womb, and will bear a son. And they will call His name Emmanuel,” which being interpreted is, God with us. And Joseph, being roused from sleep, did as the angel of the Lord commanded him and took his wife, and did not know her until she bore her son, the First-born. And he called His name JESUS.

I have read this passage before, and to this day, do not understand how Emmanuel = Jesus? Correct me if I am wrong, but those are not the same name. From a biological standpoint, it is physically impossible for the virgin to give birth to a male in mammals. In Mammals, sex is determined sex chromosomes. The people writing this, of course, had no idea, and god didn’t know either.

Chapter 2

Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, wise men came from the east to Jerusalem, saying, Where is He who is born king of the Jews? For we have seen His star in the east and have come to worship Him. But when Herod the king heard these things, he was troubled, and all Jerusalem with him. And when he had gathered all the chief priests and scribes of the people together, he demanded of them where Christ should be born. And they said to him, In Bethlehem of Judea. For so it is written by the prophet, “And you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, are not the least among the governors of Judah. For out of you shall come a Governor who shall rule My people Israel.” Then Herod, when he had secretly called the wise men, inquired of them exactly what time the star appeared. And he sent them to Bethlehem, and said, Go and search diligently for the young child. And when you have found him, bring me word again so that I may come and worship him also.

Here is where history does not agree with the story. King Herod died in 4 BCE, and this does not jive with the other Jesus birth story. I will touch upon that when I get there. Then, there is the issue with the ‘star in the East’. How, exactly, does that work? ┬áEven over the course of one night, the stars rotate around the celestial pole. Any star in the east will be in the west by the time the night is over.

When they had heard the king, they departed. And lo, the star which they saw in the east went before them until it came and stood over where the child was. And seeing the star, they rejoiced with exceedingly great joy. And coming into the house, they saw the child with Mary His mother. And they fell down and worshiped Him. And opening their treasures, they presented gifts to Him, gold and frankincense and myrrh. And being warned of God in a dream that they should not return to Herod, they departed into their own country another way.

3 wise men, not kings, came to visit him. Nameless wise men, exit stage left.

And when they had departed, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream, saying, Arise and take the young child and His mother and flee into Egypt. And be there until I bring you word, for Herod is about to seek the child to destroy Him. And he arose and took the young child and his mother by night and departed into Egypt. And he was there until the death of Herod; so that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the LORD through the prophet, “Out of Egypt I have called My Son.”

Fleeing all the way to Egypt, with a newborn. Very vague on time here.

Then Herod, when he saw that he was mocked by the wise men, was greatly enraged. And he sent and killed all the boys in Bethlehem, and in all its districts, from two years old and under, according to the time which he had carefully inquired of the wise men. Then was fulfilled that which was spoken by Jeremiah the prophet, saying, “A voice was heard in Ramah, wailing and weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children, and would not be comforted, because they are not.”

So Joe, Mary, and Jesus just flees and Herod kills thousands. What a loving god. Thankfully this actually didn’t happen.

But Herod having expired, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt, saying, Arise, and take the child and His mother. And go into the land of Israel. For the ones who sought the child’s life are dead. And he arose and took the child and His mother and came into the land of Israel. But when he heard that Archelaus reigned in Judea in his father Herod’s place, he was afraid to go there. And being warned by God in a dream, he turned aside into the parts of Galilee. And he came and lived in a city called Nazareth, so that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophets, “He shall be called a Nazarene.”

Ah yes, what a squiggly line back to Judea. Since I have read most of the old testament, I know “He shall be called a Nazarene” is likely a poor translation. A Nazirite is a priest that does not cut his hair, not someone from Nazareth.

Chapter 3
In those days John the Baptist came preaching in the wilderness of Judea, and saying, Repent, for the kingdom of Heaven is at hand. For this is he who was spoken of by the prophet Isaiah, saying, “The voice of one crying in the wilderness: Prepare the way of the Lord, make His path straight.” And the same John had his clothing of camel’s hair and a leather girdle about his loins. And his food was locusts and wild honey. Then Jerusalem and all Judea went out to him, and all the region round about Jordan. And they were baptized by him in Jordan, confessing their sins.

I am sure all of Judea when to visit this insane fellow in a leather loincloth and camel hair coat.

But seeing many of the Pharisees and Sadducees come to his baptism, he said to them, O generation of vipers, who has warned you to flee from the wrath to come? Bring forth therefore fruits worthy of repentance; and do not think to say within yourselves, We have Abraham as our father. For I say to you that God is able to raise up children to Abraham from these stones. And now also, the axe is laid to the root of the trees. Therefore every tree which does not bring forth good fruit is cut down and cast into the fire. I indeed baptize you with water to repentance. But He who comes after me is mightier than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry. He shall baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire; whose fan is in His hand, and He will cleanse His floor and gather His wheat into the storehouse; but He will burn up the chaff with unquenchable fire.

Classic end of the world speak. Sounds like a judgement is coming and right soon.

Then Jesus came from Galilee to Jordan, to John, to be baptized by him. But John restrained Him, saying, I have need to be baptized by You, and do You come to me? And answering Jesus said to him, Allow it now, for it is becoming to us to fulfill all righteousness. Then he allowed Him. And Jesus, when He had been baptized, went up immediately out of the water. And lo, the heavens were opened to Him, and He saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lighting upon Him. And lo, a voice from Heaven, saying, This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.

Jesus is baptized. Swell.

Chapter 4

Then Jesus was led by the Spirit up into the wilderness, to be tempted by the Devil. And when He had fasted forty days and forty nights, He was afterwards hungry. And when the tempter came to Him, he said, If You are the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread. But He answered and said, It is written, “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.” Then the Devil took Him up into the holy city and set Him upon a pinnacle of the Temple. And he said to Him, If you are the Son of God, cast yourself down. For it is written, “He shall give His angels charge concerning You, and in their hands they shall bear You up, lest at any time You dash Your foot against a stone.” Jesus said to him, It is written again, “You shall not tempt the Lord your God.” Again, the Devil took Him up into a very high mountain and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. And he said to Him, All these things I will give You if You will fall down and worship me. Then Jesus said to him, Go, Satan! For it is written, “You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve.” Then the Devil left him. And behold, angels came and ministered to Him.

The Spirit is like Tinkerbell? So, no miracles here? Not very impressive. In addition, here is a reference to a flat earth. No matter high of a mountain you stand on, you can no see all nations of the Earth…even from space. Jesus quotes some old testament.

But when Jesus heard that John was thrown into prison, He withdrew into Galilee. And leaving Nazareth, He came and lived in Capernaum, which is on the seacoast, in the borders of Zebulun and Naphtali, so that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Isaiah the prophet, saying, “The land of Zebulun and the land of Naphtali, by way of the sea, beyond Jordan, Galilee of the nations! The people who sat in darkness saw a great Light; and Light has sprung up to those who sat in the region and shadow of death.” From that time Jesus began to preach and to say, Repent! For the kingdom of Heaven is at hand.

John gets thrown in prison, so Jesus…runs away???? Really? More retroactive chronology. A bunch of self fulfilly prophesy. More standard Apocolyptic drivel.

And walking by the Sea of Galilee, Jesus saw two brothers, Simon called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea. For they were fishermen. And He said to them, Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men. And they immediately left their nets and followed him. And going on from there, he saw another two brothers, James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother, in a boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets. And He called them; and they immediately left the boat and their father and followed Him.

Jesus has magic, brainwashing powers. Simon called Peter? What the hell does that mean? Thanks for clarifying that someone who casts nets into water are fishermen. No Shit.

And Jesus went about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues and preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing all kinds of sickness and all kinds of disease among the people. And His fame went throughout all Syria. And they brought to Him all sick people who were pressed down by different kinds of diseases and torments, and those who had been possessed with demons, and those who had been moonstruck, and those paralyzed. And He healed them. And great multitudes of people followed Him, from Galilee and Decapolis and Jerusalem and Judea and beyond Jordan.

Shame NO ONE recorded these events, when they are supposed to have happened. Demons are not real. You can not be moonstruck, and there is no way the paralyzed were cured. Again, no one wrote this down.

Chapter 5

And seeing the multitudes, He went up into a mountain. And when He had sat down, His disciples came to Him. And He opened His mouth and taught them, saying,

Filler.

Blessed are the poor in spirit! For theirs is the kingdom of Heaven. Blessed are they that mourn! For they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek! For they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are they who hunger and thirst after righteousness! For they shall be filled. Blessed are the merciful! For they shall obtain mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart! For they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers! For they shall be called the sons of God. Blessed are they who have been persecuted for righteousness sake! For theirs is the kingdom of Heaven. Blessed are you when men shall revile you and persecute you, and shall say all kinds of evil against you falsely, for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for your reward in Heaven is great. For so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Same statement, reworded 10 times and the carrot of heaven is dangled out in front of the rubes.

You are the salt of the earth, but if the salt loses its savor, with what shall it be salted? It is no longer good for anything, but to be thrown out and to be trodden underfoot by men. You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do men light a lamp and put it under the grain-measure, but on a lampstand. And it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in Heaven.

These are very banal ‘deepisms’ that sound neat, but state the obvious or just don’t mean anything.

Do not think that I have come to destroy the Law or the Prophets. I have not come to destroy but to fulfill. For truly I say to you, Till the heaven and the earth pass away, not one jot or one tittle shall in any way pass from the law until all is fulfilled. Therefore whoever shall break one of these commandments, the least, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of Heaven. But whoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of Heaven. For I say to you that unless your righteousness shall exceed that of the scribes and Pharisees, you shall in no case enter into the kingdom of Heaven.

So, the old testament is still in effect. So, you need to follow the rules, or you can not get into heaven.

You have heard that it was said to the ancients, “You shall not kill” –and, “Whoever shall kill shall be liable to the judgment.” But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be liable to the judgment. And whoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be liable to the sanhedrin; but whoever shall say, Fool! shall be liable to be thrown into the fire of hell. Therefore if you offer your gift on the altar, and there remember that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are in the way with him; that the opponent not deliver you to the judge, and the judge deliver you to the officer, and you be thrown into prison. Truly I say to you, You shall by no means come out from there until you have paid the last kodrantes.

So have no quarrels or debts. Kind of useless guide here.

You have heard that it was said to the ancients, “You shall not commit adultery.” But I say to you that whoever looks on a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. And if your right eye offends you, pluck it out and throw it from you. For it is profitable for you that one of your members should perish, and not that your whole body should be thrown into hell. And if your right hand offends you, cut it off and throw it from you. For it is profitable for you that one of your members should perish, and not that your whole body should be thrown into hell. It was also said, Whoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a bill of divorce. But I say to you that whoever shall put away his wife, except for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery. And whoever shall marry her who is put away commits adultery.

Mindcrime, anyone? Not only the act a sin, thinking of doing the act is just as bad. How is this a better system? What is with all the eye plucking and hand chopping?

Again, you have heard that it has been said to the ancients, “You shall not swear falsely, but you shall perform your oaths to the Lord.” But I say to you, Do not swear at all! Not by Heaven, because it is God’s throne; not by the earth, for it is the footstool of His feet; not by Jerusalem, because it is the city of the great King; nor shall you swear by your head, because you cannot make one hair white or black. But let your word be, Yes, yes; No, no. For whatever is more than these comes from evil.

You can only tell the truth…and only answer in the binary? So very odd. How is this useful?

You have heard that it was said, “An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.” But I say to you, Do not resist evil. But whoever shall strike you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. And to him desiring to sue you, and to take away your tunic, let him have your coat also. And whoever shall compel you to go a mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks of you, and you shall not turn away from him who would borrow from you.

This turn the other cheek crap seems so contrary to human nature and you will just be bullied. Our whole justice system would fall apart. Again, how is this useful?

You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.” But I say to you, Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who despitefully use you and persecute you, so that you may become sons of your Father in Heaven. For He makes His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax-collectors do the same? And if you greet your brothers only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax-collectors do so? Therefore be perfect, even as your Father in Heaven is perfect.

So, everyone be a pansy. Neat concept, shit in real life.

Chapter 6

Take heed that you do not do your merciful deeds before men, to be seen by them. Otherwise you have no reward with your Father in Heaven. Therefore when you do your merciful deeds, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may have glory from men. Truly I say to you, They have their reward. But when you do merciful deeds, do not let your left hand know what your right hand does, so that your merciful deeds may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret Himself shall reward you openly.

I like this one, do good deeds and don’t brag about it.

And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, so that they may be seen by men. Truly I say to you, They have their reward. But you, when you pray, enter into your room. And shutting your door, pray to your Father in secret; and your Father who sees in secret shall reward you openly. But when you pray, do not babble vain words, as the nations. For they think that in their much speaking they shall be heard. Therefore do not be like them, for your Father knows what things you have need of, before you ask Him.

Two things here, I really like the idea that prayer should be done in private. I will quote this the next time I see someone pray in public. A second item, the text seems to indicate don’t ask for anything in prayer, only to give thanks.

Therefore pray in this way: Our Father, who is in Heaven, Hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our debts as we also forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil. For Yours is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen. For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

The lords prayer. It is a prayer of thanks and strength.

And when you fast, do not be like the hypocrites, of a sad face. For they disfigure their faces so that they may appear to men to fast. Truly I say to you, they have their reward. But you, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, so that you do not appear to men to fast, but to your Father in secret. And your Father who sees in secret shall reward you openly.

I am looking at your people who are vocal about Lent. Fasting is endorsed here, but make sure it is done without being obvious.

Do not lay up treasures on earth for yourselves, where moth and rust corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal. But lay up treasures in Heaven for yourselves, where neither moth nor rust corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. The light of the body is the eye. Therefore if your eye is sound, your whole body shall be full of light. But if your eye is evil, your whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness! No one can serve two masters. For either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will hold to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.

Live a life of simplicity and maybe poverty. Not too bad of a message, but I have been poor, and it sucks.

Therefore I say to you, Do not be anxious for your life, what you shall eat, or what you shall drink; nor for your body, what you shall put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Behold the birds of the air; for they sow not, nor do they reap, nor gather into barns. Yet your heavenly Father feeds them; are you not much better than they are? Which of you by being anxious can add one cubit to his stature? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow. They do not toil, nor do they spin, but I say to you that even Solomon in his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Therefore if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much rather clothe you, little-faiths? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, With what shall we be clothed? For the nations seek after all these things. For your heavenly Father knows that you have need of all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow; for tomorrow shall be anxious for its own things. Sufficient to the day is the evil of it.

This is really, really, really bad advice. Jesus is explicity saying don’t worry about tomorrow. This is worse than useless. We need to worry about where our food comes from, and clothing, and homes. 2,000 years later, we are still here and the only reason we are here is we do worry about how our food is grown, clothing made, bricks laid.

Chapter 7

Judge not, that you may not be judged. For with whatever judgment you judge, you shall be judged; and with whatever measure you measure out, it shall be measured to you again. And why do you look on the splinter that is in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the beam that is in your own eye? Or how will you say to your brother, Let me pull the splinter out of your eye; and, behold, a beam is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First cast the beam out of your own eye, and then you shall see clearly to cast the splinter out of your brother’s eye. Do not give that which is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet and turn again and tear you.

This is a bizzare passage. Log in your eye? Was this a thing? I’m sorry, we have to judge others. A whole third of our government is the judicial branch. There is not a government in the world without a judicial branch.

Ask and it shall be given to you; seek and you shall find; knock and it shall be opened to you. For each one who asks receives; and he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, it shall be opened. Or what man is there of you, if his son asks a loaf, will he give him a stone? Or if he asks a fish, will he give him a snake? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Father in Heaven give good things to those who ask Him?

This is a pointless passage, I think. Can you glean any meaning from this?

Therefore all things, whatever you desire that men should do to you, do even so to them; for this is the Law and the Prophets. Go in through the narrow gate, for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and many there are who go in through it. Because narrow is the gate and constricted is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.
Beware of false prophets who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. You shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thorns, or figs from thistles? Even so every good tree brings forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree brings forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruits, nor can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. Every tree that does not bring forth good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Therefore by their fruits you shall know them.

First we have a little Confucism here, do unto others.  Then we have a warning about taking the narrow path…said 6 different ways.

Not everyone who says to Me, Lord! Lord! shall enter the kingdom of Heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in Heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, Lord! Lord! Did we not prophesy in Your name, and through Your name throw out demons, and through Your name do many wonderful works? And then I will say to them I never knew you! Depart from Me, those working lawlessness! Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on a rock. And the rain came down, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house. And it did not fall, for it was founded on a rock. And everyone who hears these sayings of Mine and does not do them shall be compared to a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain came down, and the floods came, and the wind blew and beat on that house. And it fell, and great was its fall. And it happened, when Jesus had ended these sayings, that the people were astonished at His doctrine. For He taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes.

Lame analogies and assertions are not what I would call “astonishing”.

Chapter 8

When He had come down from the mountain, great crowds followed him. And behold, a leper came and worshiped him, saying, Lord, if You will, You can make me clean. And Jesus put out His hand and touched him, saying, I will; be clean! And immediately his leprosy was cleansed. And Jesus said to him, See that you tell no one; but go, show yourself to the priest. And offer the gift that Moses commanded, for a testimony to them.
And when Jesus had entered into Capernaum, a centurion came to him, beseeching Him, and saying, Lord, my son lies at home paralyzed and grievously tormented. And Jesus says to him, I will come and heal him. The centurion answered and said, Lord, I am not worthy that You should come under my roof; but only speak the word, and my boy will be healed. For I am a man under authority, having soldiers under me. And I say to this one, Go! And he goes; and to another, Come! And he comes; and to my servant, Do this! And he does it. When Jesus heard, He marvelled and said to those who followed, Truly I say to you, I have not found such great faith, no, not in Israel. And I say to you that many shall come from the east and the west, and shall sit down with Abraham and Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of Heaven. But the sons of the kingdom shall be cast out into outer darkness; there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. And Jesus said to the centurion, Go. And as you have believed, so let it be to you. And his boy was healed in that hour.
And when Jesus had come into Peter’s house, He saw his wife’s mother laid out and in a fever. And He touched her hand, and the fever left her. And she arose and served them. And evening coming on, they brought to Him many who had been possessed with demons. And He cast out the spirits with a word, and healed all who were sick so that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Isaiah the prophet, saying, “He took on Himself our weaknesses and bore our sicknesses.”
And seeing great crowds, Jesus gave orders to depart to the other side. And a certain scribe came and said to him, Master, I will follow You wherever You go. And Jesus said to him, The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of man has nowhere to lay His head. And another of His disciples said to him, Lord, allow me first to go and bury my father. But Jesus said to him, Follow Me, and let the dead bury their dead.
And He entering into a boat, His disciples followed Him. And behold, a great tempest arose in the sea, so much so that the boat was covered with the waves. But He was asleep. And His disciples came to Him and awakened Him, saying, Lord, save us! We perish! And He said to them, Why are you afraid, little-faiths? Then He arose and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm. But the men marveled, saying, What kind of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him!
And when He had come to the other side into the country of the Gergesenes, two demon-possessed ones met Him, coming out of the tombs, exceedingly fierce, so that no one might pass by that way. And behold, they cried out, saying, What have we to do with You, Jesus, Son of God? Have You come here to torment us before the time? And there was a good way off from them a herd of many swine, feeding. And the demons begged Him, saying, If You cast us out, allow us to go away into the herd of swine. And He said to them, Go! And when they had come out, they went into the herd of swine. And behold, the whole herd of swine ran violently down a steep place into the sea and perished in the waters. And those who fed them fled. And going into the city, they told everything, and what had happened to the ones who had been possessed of demons. And behold, the whole city came out to meet Jesus. And when they saw Him, they begged that He would depart out of their borders.
Chapter 9

And He entered into a boat, and passed over, and came to His own city. And behold, they brought to Him a paralytic, lying on a bed. And Jesus, seeing their faith, said to the paralytic, Child, be of good cheer. Your sins are forgiven you. And lo, some of the scribes said within themselves, This one blasphemes. And Jesus, knowing their thoughts, said, Why do you think evil in your hearts? For which is easier? To say, Your sins are forgiven you, or to say, Arise and walk! But so that you may know that the Son of man has authority on earth to forgive sins, then He said to the paralytic, Arise, take up your bed and go to your house. And he arose and departed to his house. But when the crowds saw, they marveled and glorified God, who had given such authority to men.
And as Jesus passed on from there, He saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax-office. And He said to him, Follow Me! And he arose and followed Him. And it happened as Jesus reclined in the house, behold, many tax-collectors and sinners came and were reclining with Him and His disciples. And when the Pharisees saw, they said to His disciples, Why does your master eat with tax-collectors and sinners? But when Jesus heard, He said to them, The ones who are whole do not need a physician, but the ones who are sick. But go and learn what this is, I will have mercy and not sacrifice. For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.
Then the disciples of John came to Him saying, Why do we and the Pharisees fast often, but Your disciples do not fast? And Jesus said to them, Can the sons of the bridechamber mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them? But the days will come when the bridegroom shall be taken away from them, and then they shall fast. No one puts a piece of new cloth onto an old garment; for that which is put in to fill it up takes from the garment, and the tear is made worse. Nor do men put new wine into old wineskins; else the wineskins burst, and the wine runs out, and the wineskins perish. But they put new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved together.
While He spoke these things to them, behold, a certain ruler came and worshiped Him, saying, My daughter has just now died. But come and lay Your hand on her and she will live. And Jesus arose and followed him. And so did His disciples. And behold, a woman, who had a flow of blood for twelve years, came up behind Him and touched the hem of His garment. For she said within herself, If only I shall touch His robe, I will be whole. But turning and seeing her, Jesus said, Daughter, be comforted; your faith has saved you. And the woman was saved from that hour. And when Jesus came into the ruler’s house and saw the minstrels and the people making a noise, He said to them, Go back, for the little girl is not dead, but sleeps. And they laughed Him to scorn. But when the people were put out, He went in and took her by the hand, and the little girl arose. And this report went out into all that land.
And when Jesus passed on from there, two blind ones followed Him, crying and saying, Son of David, have mercy on us. And when He had come into the house, the blind men came to Him. And Jesus said to them, Do you believe that I am able to do this? They said to Him, Yes, Lord. Then He touched their eyes, saying, According to your faith let it be to you. And their eyes were opened. And Jesus strictly charged them, saying, See, let no one know. But going out, they made Him known in all that land. As they went out, behold, they brought to Him a dumb man, who had been demon-possessed. And when the demon had been cast out, the dumb one spoke. And multitudes marveled, saying, Never was it seen like this in Israel! But the Pharisees said, He throws out demons by the ruler of the demons.
And Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every sickness and every disease among the people. But seeing the crowds, He was moved with compassion on them, because they were tired and scattered like sheep having no shepherd. Then He said to His disciples, The harvest truly is plenteous, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray to the Lord of the harvest that He will send out laborers into His harvest.

Bible beating me down

Have not read too much of the Bible lately.  I received a Kindle Paperwhite for Christmas (an awesome device) and have been reading, frankly, much better fiction than the Bible.  What has really shocked me so far is just how amazingly repetitive it has been.  Same stories, same praise, same stories, over and over and it is fucking boring.  Another issue I have run into is how just plain bad how the Bible is presented, in print, and electronically.  The chapter and verse numbering, combined with multiple foot and endnotes, for every single line make it nigh impossible to read.  I have to ‘illuminate’ my own version, with virtually no numbering and no superscript to make it readable.  I use Xiphos and copy and paste it into a document and convert that to Kindle format or HTML to make it less distracting and slightly more readable.

Half way to infinity.

Most of the way through the  Psalms which makes me about half way through the Bible.  I have to be honest, it is a very, very poorly written book.  It is repetitive, boring, the lessons are outdated, impractical, or just morally wrong in relation to modern views.  Moreover, the Bible is repetitive.  It is the same 4 stories, told over and over and over and over and over and over.  Anyone who says this is great literature is full of shit.  It is horrid.  At the same time, I am also reading the Harry Potter books, which offers a more believable narrative, has a plot, and is much more enjoyable.

I am going to be taking a little break from the Bible, I just can’t take any more of the worst book, by far, that I have ever read.

In the meantime, I will be working on some retro, portable video games, on one of my other sites.  Until then, I am sure no one is chomping on the bit to read more of my commentary on the Bible.

Bible update

Plowed through the Bible up to Job.  42 chapters of fun.  Actually, since the Bible is not recycling the naughty Jew crap for the upteenth time, it is an interesting read…and Satan is introduced.  Stay tuned for the next commentary in the Engineer’s Bible Study.

 

 

3 more down

Finished 3 more books of the Bible.

Joshua

Judges

Ruth

You will notice my:

Commentary is in a block quote like this.

Changing the font color and italics was a time waster.  I may go back later and change the last few books.  I am not in any way rereading those books.  The first five books are just punishing.

As an aside, Joshua started out well, but half way though we ran out of new material.  Judges was pretty brutal and confusing and Ruth was pointless.

The Pentateuch

Finally finished reading the Pentateuch, aka Torah.  They are first 5 books of the Bible.  I have to be honest, it was pretty brutal.  Some parts of it are interesting, but you can so so tell it was written by ignorant, ancient people with morals that would make a serial killer blush.  I am truly shocked how incredibly repetitive it really is.  Books 2 to 5 are just all the same thing, with slight rewording.  Numbers is almost impossible to read and the most boring text I have ever read.

Read my running commentary:

Genesis 1

Genesis 2

Genesis 3

Genesis 4

Genesis 5

Genesis 6

Genesis 7

Genesis 8

Genesis 9

Genesis 10

Genesis 11

Genesis 12 to 24

Genesis 25 to 50

Exodus 1 to 10

Exodus 11 to 20

Exodus 21 to 30

Exodus 31 to 40

Leviticus 1 to 10

Leviticus 11 to 20

Leviticus 21 to 27

Numbers 1 to 17

Numbers 17 to 36

Deuteronomy 1 to 34