Matthew

Chapter 1

The book of the genealogy of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham. Abraham fathered Isaac, and Isaac fathered Jacob, and Jacob fathered Judah and his brothers. And Judah fathered Pharez and Zarah of Tamar. And Pharez fathered Hezron, and Hezron fathered Ram, and Ram fathered Amminadab, and Amminadab fathered Nahshon, and Nahshon fathered Salmon. And Salmon fathered Boaz of Rahab, and Boaz fathered Obed of Ruth, and Obed fathered Jesse, and Jesse fathered David the king. And David the king fathered Solomon of her who had been wife of Uriah. And Solomon fathered Rehoboam, and Rehoboam fathered Abijah, and Abijah fathered Asa. And Asa fathered Jehoshaphat, and Jehoshaphat fathered Jehoram, and Jehoram fathered Uzziah. And Uzziah fathered Jotham, and Jotham fathered Ahaz, and Ahaz fathered Hezekiah. And Hezekiah fathered Manasseh, and Manasseh fathered Amon, and Amon fathered Josiah. And Josiah fathered Jehoiachin and his brothers, at the time they were carried away to Babylon. And after the carrying away to Babylon, Jehoiachin fathered Shealtiel, and Shealtiel fathered Zerubbabel. And Zerubbabel fathered Abiud, and Abiud fathered Eliakim, and Eliakim fathered Azor. And Azor fathered Sadoc, and Sadoc fathered Achim, and Achim fathered Eliud. And Eliud fathered Eleazar, and Eleazar fathered Matthan, and Matthan fathered Jacob. And Jacob fathered Joseph, the husband to be of Mary, of whom Jesus was born, who is called Christ. So all the generations from Abraham to David are fourteen generations. And from David until the carrying away into Babylon, fourteen generations. And from the carrying away into Babylon until Christ, fourteen generations.

Oh good, genealogies.

Now the birth of Jesus Christ was this way (for His mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph) before they came together, she was found to be with child by the Holy Spirit. But Joseph, her husband to be, being just, and not willing to make her a public example, he purposed to put her away secretly. And as he thought upon these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take to you Mary as your wife. For that in her is fathered of the Holy Spirit. And she shall bear a son, and you shall call His name JESUS: for He shall save His people from their sins. Now all this happened so that might be fulfilled that spoken of the LORD by the prophet, saying, “Behold, the virgin shall conceive in her womb, and will bear a son. And they will call His name Emmanuel,” which being interpreted is, God with us. And Joseph, being roused from sleep, did as the angel of the Lord commanded him and took his wife, and did not know her until she bore her son, the First-born. And he called His name JESUS.

So, all of the genealogies before are moot? Since Joseph is not the father, how does this apply? He was the husband to be, and did not father Jesus. How did humans at this time not know how reproduction works, no less a god know how genetics works? This whole his name shall be Emmanuel, but his name is Jesus makes no fucking sense.

Chapter 2

Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, wise men came from the east to Jerusalem, saying, Where is He who is born king of the Jews? For we have seen His star in the east and have come to worship Him. But when Herod the king heard these things, he was troubled, and all Jerusalem with him. And when he had gathered all the chief priests and scribes of the people together, he demanded of them where Christ should be born. And they said to him, In Bethlehem of Judea. For so it is written by the prophet, “And you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, are not the least among the governors of Judah. For out of you shall come a Governor who shall rule My people Israel.” Then Herod, when he had secretly called the wise men, inquired of them exactly what time the star appeared. And he sent them to Bethlehem, and said, Go and search diligently for the young child. And when you have found him, bring me word again so that I may come and worship him also.

Well, this is not how stars work. Stars rise in the east and set in the west, just like the sun, another star. They don’t hover a location.

 

When they had heard the king, they departed. And lo, the star which they saw in the east went before them until it came and stood over where the child was. And seeing the star, they rejoiced with exceedingly great joy. And coming into the house, they saw the child with Mary His mother. And they fell down and worshiped Him. And opening their treasures, they presented gifts to Him, gold and frankincense and myrrh. And being warned of God in a dream that they should not return to Herod, they departed into their own country another way.

Kind of vague here, except for the gifts presented. Who are these guys, where did they come from? Where did they go?

And when they had departed, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream, saying, Arise and take the young child and His mother and flee into Egypt. And be there until I bring you word, for Herod is about to seek the child to destroy Him. And he arose and took the young child and his mother by night and departed into Egypt. And he was there until the death of Herod; so that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the LORD through the prophet, “Out of Egypt I have called My Son.”

Shameless retconning here. Off to Egypt they go.

Then Herod, when he saw that he was mocked by the wise men, was greatly enraged. And he sent and killed all the boys in Bethlehem, and in all its districts, from two years old and under, according to the time which he had carefully inquired of the wise men. Then was fulfilled that which was spoken by Jeremiah the prophet, saying, “A voice was heard in Ramah, wailing and weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children, and would not be comforted, because they are not.”

Another retconning here, more ‘prophecies’ fulfilled. If Jesus was taken away, why would they bother killing all of the boys under 2?

But Herod having expired, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt, saying, Arise, and take the child and His mother. And go into the land of Israel. For the ones who sought the child’s life are dead. And he arose and took the child and His mother and came into the land of Israel. But when he heard that Archelaus reigned in Judea in his father Herod’s place, he was afraid to go there. And being warned by God in a dream, he turned aside into the parts of Galilee. And he came and lived in a city called Nazareth, so that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophets, “He shall be called a Nazarene.”

Ah yes, what a squiggly line back to Judea. Since I have read most of the old testament, I know “He shall be called a Nazarene” is likely a poor translation. A Nazirite is a priest that does not cut his hair, not someone from Nazareth.

We now fast forward to adulthood….

Chapter 3
In those days John the Baptist came preaching in the wilderness of Judea, and saying, Repent, for the kingdom of Heaven is at hand. For this is he who was spoken of by the prophet Isaiah, saying, “The voice of one crying in the wilderness: Prepare the way of the Lord, make His path straight.” And the same John had his clothing of camel’s hair and a leather girdle about his loins. And his food was locusts and wild honey. Then Jerusalem and all Judea went out to him, and all the region round about Jordan. And they were baptized by him in Jordan, confessing their sins.

I am sure all of Judea when to visit this insane fellow in a leather loincloth and camel hair coat.

But seeing many of the Pharisees and Sadducees come to his baptism, he said to them, O generation of vipers, who has warned you to flee from the wrath to come? Bring forth therefore fruits worthy of repentance; and do not think to say within yourselves, We have Abraham as our father. For I say to you that God is able to raise up children to Abraham from these stones. And now also, the axe is laid to the root of the trees. Therefore every tree which does not bring forth good fruit is cut down and cast into the fire. I indeed baptize you with water to repentance. But He who comes after me is mightier than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry. He shall baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire; whose fan is in His hand, and He will cleanse His floor and gather His wheat into the storehouse; but He will burn up the chaff with unquenchable fire.

Classic end of the world speak. Sounds like a judgement is coming and right soon.

Then Jesus came from Galilee to Jordan, to John, to be baptized by him. But John restrained Him, saying, I have need to be baptized by You, and do You come to me? And answering Jesus said to him, Allow it now, for it is becoming to us to fulfill all righteousness. Then he allowed Him. And Jesus, when He had been baptized, went up immediately out of the water. And lo, the heavens were opened to Him, and He saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lighting upon Him. And lo, a voice from Heaven, saying, This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.

Jesus is baptized. Swell.

Chapter 4

Then Jesus was led by the Spirit up into the wilderness, to be tempted by the Devil. And when He had fasted forty days and forty nights, He was afterwards hungry. And when the tempter came to Him, he said, If You are the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread. But He answered and said, It is written, “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.” Then the Devil took Him up into the holy city and set Him upon a pinnacle of the Temple. And he said to Him, If you are the Son of God, cast yourself down. For it is written, “He shall give His angels charge concerning You, and in their hands they shall bear You up, lest at any time You dash Your foot against a stone.” Jesus said to him, It is written again, “You shall not tempt the Lord your God.” Again, the Devil took Him up into a very high mountain and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. And he said to Him, All these things I will give You if You will fall down and worship me. Then Jesus said to him, Go, Satan! For it is written, “You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve.” Then the Devil left him. And behold, angels came and ministered to Him.

The Spirit is like Tinkerbell? So, no miracles here? Not very impressive. In addition, here is a reference to a flat earth. No matter high of a mountain you stand on, you can no see all nations of the Earth…even from space. Jesus quotes some old testament.

But when Jesus heard that John was thrown into prison, He withdrew into Galilee. And leaving Nazareth, He came and lived in Capernaum, which is on the seacoast, in the borders of Zebulun and Naphtali, so that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Isaiah the prophet, saying, “The land of Zebulun and the land of Naphtali, by way of the sea, beyond Jordan, Galilee of the nations! The people who sat in darkness saw a great Light; and Light has sprung up to those who sat in the region and shadow of death.” From that time Jesus began to preach and to say, Repent! For the kingdom of Heaven is at hand.

John gets thrown in prison, so Jesus…runs away???? Really? More retroactive chronology. A bunch of self fulfilly prophesy. More standard Apocolyptic drivel.

And walking by the Sea of Galilee, Jesus saw two brothers, Simon called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea. For they were fishermen. And He said to them, Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men. And they immediately left their nets and followed him. And going on from there, he saw another two brothers, James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother, in a boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets. And He called them; and they immediately left the boat and their father and followed Him.

Jesus has magic, brainwashing powers. Simon called Peter? What the hell does that mean? Thanks for clarifying that someone who casts nets into water are fishermen. No Shit.

And Jesus went about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues and preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing all kinds of sickness and all kinds of disease among the people. And His fame went throughout all Syria. And they brought to Him all sick people who were pressed down by different kinds of diseases and torments, and those who had been possessed with demons, and those who had been moonstruck, and those paralyzed. And He healed them. And great multitudes of people followed Him, from Galilee and Decapolis and Jerusalem and Judea and beyond Jordan.

Shame NO ONE recorded these events, when they are supposed to have happened. Demons are not real. You can not be moonstruck, and there is no way the paralyzed were cured. Again, no one wrote this down.

Chapter 5

And seeing the multitudes, He went up into a mountain. And when He had sat down, His disciples came to Him. And He opened His mouth and taught them, saying,

Filler.

Blessed are the poor in spirit! For theirs is the kingdom of Heaven. Blessed are they that mourn! For they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek! For they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are they who hunger and thirst after righteousness! For they shall be filled. Blessed are the merciful! For they shall obtain mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart! For they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers! For they shall be called the sons of God. Blessed are they who have been persecuted for righteousness sake! For theirs is the kingdom of Heaven. Blessed are you when men shall revile you and persecute you, and shall say all kinds of evil against you falsely, for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for your reward in Heaven is great. For so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Same statement, reworded 10 times and the carrot of heaven is dangled out in front of the rubes.

You are the salt of the earth, but if the salt loses its savor, with what shall it be salted? It is no longer good for anything, but to be thrown out and to be trodden underfoot by men. You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do men light a lamp and put it under the grain-measure, but on a lampstand. And it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in Heaven.

These are very banal ‘deepisms’ that sound neat, but state the obvious or just don’t mean anything.

Do not think that I have come to destroy the Law or the Prophets. I have not come to destroy but to fulfill. For truly I say to you, Till the heaven and the earth pass away, not one jot or one tittle shall in any way pass from the law until all is fulfilled. Therefore whoever shall break one of these commandments, the least, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of Heaven. But whoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of Heaven. For I say to you that unless your righteousness shall exceed that of the scribes and Pharisees, you shall in no case enter into the kingdom of Heaven.

So, the old testament is still in effect. So, you need to follow the rules, or you can not get into heaven.

You have heard that it was said to the ancients, “You shall not kill” –and, “Whoever shall kill shall be liable to the judgment.” But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be liable to the judgment. And whoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be liable to the sanhedrin; but whoever shall say, Fool! shall be liable to be thrown into the fire of hell. Therefore if you offer your gift on the altar, and there remember that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are in the way with him; that the opponent not deliver you to the judge, and the judge deliver you to the officer, and you be thrown into prison. Truly I say to you, You shall by no means come out from there until you have paid the last kodrantes.

So have no quarrels or debts. Kind of useless guide here.

You have heard that it was said to the ancients, “You shall not commit adultery.” But I say to you that whoever looks on a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. And if your right eye offends you, pluck it out and throw it from you. For it is profitable for you that one of your members should perish, and not that your whole body should be thrown into hell. And if your right hand offends you, cut it off and throw it from you. For it is profitable for you that one of your members should perish, and not that your whole body should be thrown into hell. It was also said, Whoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a bill of divorce. But I say to you that whoever shall put away his wife, except for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery. And whoever shall marry her who is put away commits adultery.

Mindcrime, anyone? Not only the act a sin, thinking of doing the act is just as bad. How is this a better system? What is with all the eye plucking and hand chopping?

Again, you have heard that it has been said to the ancients, “You shall not swear falsely, but you shall perform your oaths to the Lord.” But I say to you, Do not swear at all! Not by Heaven, because it is God’s throne; not by the earth, for it is the footstool of His feet; not by Jerusalem, because it is the city of the great King; nor shall you swear by your head, because you cannot make one hair white or black. But let your word be, Yes, yes; No, no. For whatever is more than these comes from evil.

You can only tell the truth…and only answer in the binary? So very odd. How is this useful?

You have heard that it was said, “An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.” But I say to you, Do not resist evil. But whoever shall strike you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. And to him desiring to sue you, and to take away your tunic, let him have your coat also. And whoever shall compel you to go a mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks of you, and you shall not turn away from him who would borrow from you.

This turn the other cheek crap seems so contrary to human nature and you will just be bullied. Our whole justice system would fall apart. Again, how is this useful?

You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.” But I say to you, Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who despitefully use you and persecute you, so that you may become sons of your Father in Heaven. For He makes His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax-collectors do the same? And if you greet your brothers only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax-collectors do so? Therefore be perfect, even as your Father in Heaven is perfect.

So, everyone be a pansy. Neat concept, shit in real life.

Chapter 6

Take heed that you do not do your merciful deeds before men, to be seen by them. Otherwise you have no reward with your Father in Heaven. Therefore when you do your merciful deeds, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may have glory from men. Truly I say to you, They have their reward. But when you do merciful deeds, do not let your left hand know what your right hand does, so that your merciful deeds may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret Himself shall reward you openly.

I like this one, do good deeds and don’t brag about it.

And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, so that they may be seen by men. Truly I say to you, They have their reward. But you, when you pray, enter into your room. And shutting your door, pray to your Father in secret; and your Father who sees in secret shall reward you openly. But when you pray, do not babble vain words, as the nations. For they think that in their much speaking they shall be heard. Therefore do not be like them, for your Father knows what things you have need of, before you ask Him.

Two things here, I really like the idea that prayer should be done in private. I will quote this the next time I see someone pray in public. A second item, the text seems to indicate don’t ask for anything in prayer, only to give thanks.

Therefore pray in this way: Our Father, who is in Heaven, Hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our debts as we also forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil. For Yours is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen. For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

The lords prayer. It is a prayer of thanks and strength.

And when you fast, do not be like the hypocrites, of a sad face. For they disfigure their faces so that they may appear to men to fast. Truly I say to you, they have their reward. But you, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, so that you do not appear to men to fast, but to your Father in secret. And your Father who sees in secret shall reward you openly.

I am looking at your people who are vocal about Lent. Fasting is endorsed here, but make sure it is done without being obvious.

Do not lay up treasures on earth for yourselves, where moth and rust corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal. But lay up treasures in Heaven for yourselves, where neither moth nor rust corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. The light of the body is the eye. Therefore if your eye is sound, your whole body shall be full of light. But if your eye is evil, your whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness! No one can serve two masters. For either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will hold to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.

Live a life of simplicity and maybe poverty. Not too bad of a message, but I have been poor, and it sucks.

Therefore I say to you, Do not be anxious for your life, what you shall eat, or what you shall drink; nor for your body, what you shall put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Behold the birds of the air; for they sow not, nor do they reap, nor gather into barns. Yet your heavenly Father feeds them; are you not much better than they are? Which of you by being anxious can add one cubit to his stature? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow. They do not toil, nor do they spin, but I say to you that even Solomon in his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Therefore if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much rather clothe you, little-faiths? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, With what shall we be clothed? For the nations seek after all these things. For your heavenly Father knows that you have need of all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow; for tomorrow shall be anxious for its own things. Sufficient to the day is the evil of it.

This is really, really, really bad advice. Jesus is explicity saying don’t worry about tomorrow. This is worse than useless. We need to worry about where our food comes from, and clothing, and homes. 2,000 years later, we are still here and the only reason we are here is we do worry about how our food is grown, clothing made, bricks laid.

Chapter 7

Judge not, that you may not be judged. For with whatever judgment you judge, you shall be judged; and with whatever measure you measure out, it shall be measured to you again. And why do you look on the splinter that is in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the beam that is in your own eye? Or how will you say to your brother, Let me pull the splinter out of your eye; and, behold, a beam is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First cast the beam out of your own eye, and then you shall see clearly to cast the splinter out of your brother’s eye. Do not give that which is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet and turn again and tear you.

This is a bizzare passage. Log in your eye? Was this a thing? I’m sorry, we have to judge others. A whole third of our government is the judicial branch. There is not a government in the world without a judicial branch.

Ask and it shall be given to you; seek and you shall find; knock and it shall be opened to you. For each one who asks receives; and he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, it shall be opened. Or what man is there of you, if his son asks a loaf, will he give him a stone? Or if he asks a fish, will he give him a snake? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Father in Heaven give good things to those who ask Him?

This is a pointless passage, I think. Can you glean any meaning from this?

Therefore all things, whatever you desire that men should do to you, do even so to them; for this is the Law and the Prophets. Go in through the narrow gate, for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and many there are who go in through it. Because narrow is the gate and constricted is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.
Beware of false prophets who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. You shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thorns, or figs from thistles? Even so every good tree brings forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree brings forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruits, nor can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. Every tree that does not bring forth good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Therefore by their fruits you shall know them.

First we have a little Confucism here, do unto others. Then we have a warning about taking the narrow path…said 6 different ways.

Not everyone who says to Me, Lord! Lord! shall enter the kingdom of Heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in Heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, Lord! Lord! Did we not prophesy in Your name, and through Your name throw out demons, and through Your name do many wonderful works? And then I will say to them I never knew you! Depart from Me, those working lawlessness! Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on a rock. And the rain came down, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house. And it did not fall, for it was founded on a rock. And everyone who hears these sayings of Mine and does not do them shall be compared to a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain came down, and the floods came, and the wind blew and beat on that house. And it fell, and great was its fall. And it happened, when Jesus had ended these sayings, that the people were astonished at His doctrine. For He taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes.

Lame analogies and assertions are not what I would call “astonishing”.

Chapter 8

When He had come down from the mountain, great crowds followed him. And behold, a leper came and worshiped him, saying, Lord, if You will, You can make me clean. And Jesus put out His hand and touched him, saying, I will; be clean! And immediately his leprosy was cleansed. And Jesus said to him, See that you tell no one; but go, show yourself to the priest. And offer the gift that Moses commanded, for a testimony to them.

If this was true, it would be a miracle, too bad no one else wrote this down. Diseases don’t work this way either.

And when Jesus had entered into Capernaum, a centurion came to him, beseeching Him, and saying, Lord, my son lies at home paralyzed and grievously tormented. And Jesus says to him, I will come and heal him. The centurion answered and said, Lord, I am not worthy that You should come under my roof; but only speak the word, and my boy will be healed. For I am a man under authority, having soldiers under me. And I say to this one, Go! And he goes; and to another, Come! And he comes; and to my servant, Do this! And he does it. When Jesus heard, He marvelled and said to those who followed, Truly I say to you, I have not found such great faith, no, not in Israel. And I say to you that many shall come from the east and the west, and shall sit down with Abraham and Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of Heaven. But the sons of the kingdom shall be cast out into outer darkness; there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. And Jesus said to the centurion, Go. And as you have believed, so let it be to you. And his boy was healed in that hour.

Remote faith healing and why would a Roman call him Lord? Sounds like Jesus is throwing some shade at the Jews here.

And when Jesus had come into Peter’s house, He saw his wife’s mother laid out and in a fever. And He touched her hand, and the fever left her. And she arose and served them. And evening coming on, they brought to Him many who had been possessed with demons. And He cast out the spirits with a word, and healed all who were sick so that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Isaiah the prophet, saying, “He took on Himself our weaknesses and bore our sicknesses.”

Hate to break this to you, but demons are not real. More faith healing.

And seeing great crowds, Jesus gave orders to depart to the other side. And a certain scribe came and said to him, Master, I will follow You wherever You go. And Jesus said to him, The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of man has nowhere to lay His head. And another of His disciples said to him, Lord, allow me first to go and bury my father. But Jesus said to him, Follow Me, and let the dead bury their dead.

Does this make any kind of sense? Really? I don’t have anywhere to rest and fuck the dead? Why is everyone nameless?

And He entering into a boat, His disciples followed Him. And behold, a great tempest arose in the sea, so much so that the boat was covered with the waves. But He was asleep. And His disciples came to Him and awakened Him, saying, Lord, save us! We perish! And He said to them, Why are you afraid, little-faiths? Then He arose and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm. But the men marveled, saying, What kind of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him!

Jesus can control the weather. Why was he on a boat? What was the purpose of this?

And when He had come to the other side into the country of the Gergesenes, two demon-possessed ones met Him, coming out of the tombs, exceedingly fierce, so that no one might pass by that way. And behold, they cried out, saying, What have we to do with You, Jesus, Son of God? Have You come here to torment us before the time? And there was a good way off from them a herd of many swine, feeding. And the demons begged Him, saying, If You cast us out, allow us to go away into the herd of swine. And He said to them, Go! And when they had come out, they went into the herd of swine. And behold, the whole herd of swine ran violently down a steep place into the sea and perished in the waters. And those who fed them fled. And going into the city, they told everything, and what had happened to the ones who had been possessed of demons. And behold, the whole city came out to meet Jesus. And when they saw Him, they begged that He would depart out of their borders.

Bwahahaha. Jesus sends demons into pigs and the pigs jump to their deaths. People really believe this happened. You have to be shitting me.

Chapter 9

And He entered into a boat, and passed over, and came to His own city. And behold, they brought to Him a paralytic, lying on a bed. And Jesus, seeing their faith, said to the paralytic, Child, be of good cheer. Your sins are forgiven you. And lo, some of the scribes said within themselves, This one blasphemes. And Jesus, knowing their thoughts, said, Why do you think evil in your hearts? For which is easier? To say, Your sins are forgiven you, or to say, Arise and walk! But so that you may know that the Son of man has authority on earth to forgive sins, then He said to the paralytic, Arise, take up your bed and go to your house. And he arose and departed to his house. But when the crowds saw, they marveled and glorified God, who had given such authority to men.

Jesus can read minds and heal the paralyzed.

And as Jesus passed on from there, He saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax-office. And He said to him, Follow Me! And he arose and followed Him. And it happened as Jesus reclined in the house, behold, many tax-collectors and sinners came and were reclining with Him and His disciples. And when the Pharisees saw, they said to His disciples, Why does your master eat with tax-collectors and sinners? But when Jesus heard, He said to them, The ones who are whole do not need a physician, but the ones who are sick. But go and learn what this is, I will have mercy and not sacrifice. For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.

Just common sense, really.

Then the disciples of John came to Him saying, Why do we and the Pharisees fast often, but Your disciples do not fast? And Jesus said to them, Can the sons of the bridechamber mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them? But the days will come when the bridegroom shall be taken away from them, and then they shall fast. No one puts a piece of new cloth onto an old garment; for that which is put in to fill it up takes from the garment, and the tear is made worse. Nor do men put new wine into old wineskins; else the wineskins burst, and the wine runs out, and the wineskins perish. But they put new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved together.

This is a mixed metaphor that is at once useless and obvious at the same time. Pointless passage.

While He spoke these things to them, behold, a certain ruler came and worshiped Him, saying, My daughter has just now died. But come and lay Your hand on her and she will live. And Jesus arose and followed him. And so did His disciples. And behold, a woman, who had a flow of blood for twelve years, came up behind Him and touched the hem of His garment. For she said within herself, If only I shall touch His robe, I will be whole. But turning and seeing her, Jesus said, Daughter, be comforted; your faith has saved you. And the woman was saved from that hour. And when Jesus came into the ruler’s house and saw the minstrels and the people making a noise, He said to them, Go back, for the little girl is not dead, but sleeps. And they laughed Him to scorn. But when the people were put out, He went in and took her by the hand, and the little girl arose. And this report went out into all that land.

How in the world do you bleed for 12 years? The second half of this story is a retelling of I Kings, where Elijah brought a little boy back to life, instead of a girl.

And when Jesus passed on from there, two blind ones followed Him, crying and saying, Son of David, have mercy on us. And when He had come into the house, the blind men came to Him. And Jesus said to them, Do you believe that I am able to do this? They said to Him, Yes, Lord. Then He touched their eyes, saying, According to your faith let it be to you. And their eyes were opened. And Jesus strictly charged them, saying, See, let no one know. But going out, they made Him known in all that land. As they went out, behold, they brought to Him a dumb man, who had been demon-possessed. And when the demon had been cast out, the dumb one spoke. And multitudes marveled, saying, Never was it seen like this in Israel! But the Pharisees said, He throws out demons by the ruler of the demons.

Make the blind see, more demon possessions. Standard stuff. For someone known throughout the land, you would of though ONE person would of written this down when it happened, not decades later.

And Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every sickness and every disease among the people. But seeing the crowds, He was moved with compassion on them, because they were tired and scattered like sheep having no shepherd. Then He said to His disciples, The harvest truly is plenteous, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray to the Lord of the harvest that He will send out laborers into His harvest.

Faith healing and preaching all over the place. Again, why is there no external record of this?

Chapter 10

And when He had called to Him His twelve disciples, He gave them authority over unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal all kinds of sickness and all kinds of disease. And the names of the twelve apostles are these: First, Simon, who is called Peter, and Andrew his brother; James the son of Zebedee and John his brother; Philip and Bartholomew; Thomas and Matthew the tax-collector; James the son of Alpheus, and Lebbeus, whose surname was Thaddeus; Simon the Canaanite, and Judas Iscariot, who also betrayed Him.

Well that’s shitty foreshadowing. Spoiler alert. At least the magic healing powers are transferable.

Jesus sent out these twelve, commanding them, saying, Do not go into the way of the nations, and do not enter into any city of the Samaritans. But rather go to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. And as you go, proclaim, saying, The kingdom of Heaven is at hand. Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out demons. You have received freely, freely give. Do not provide gold nor silver, nor copper in your purses, nor a bag for the journey, nor two coats, nor sandals, nor staves. For the workman is worthy of his food. And into whatever city or village you enter, inquire who within it is worthy. And there abide until you go away from there. And when you come into a house, greet it. And if the house is worthy, let your peace come on it. But if it is not worthy, let your peace return to you. And whoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when you depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet. Truly I say to you, It shall be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah in the day of judgment than for that city.

So the Apostles are to save the worthy Jews, heal the sick, raise the dead, that sort of thing. Refers to two cities that never existed.

Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be as wise as serpents and as harmless as doves. But beware of men, for they will deliver you up to the sanhedrins, and they will scourge you in their synagogues. And you shall be brought before governors and kings for My sake, for a testimony against them and the nations. But when they deliver you up, take no thought how or what you shall speak; for it shall be given you in that same hour what you shall speak. For it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father who speaks in you. And brother will deliver up brother to death, and the father his child. And the children shall rise up against their parents and cause them to be put to death. And you will be hated of all men for My name’s sake, but the one who endures to the end shall be kept safe. But when they persecute you in this city, flee into another; for truly I say to you, In no way shall you have finished the cities of Israel until the Son of Man comes. A disciple is not above his master, nor the servant above his lord. It is enough for the disciple that he is like his master, and the servant like his lord. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebub, how much more those of his household? Therefore do not fear them, for there is nothing covered that shall not be revealed, and nothing hidden which shall not be known. What I tell you in darkness, speak in the light; and what you hear, proclaim on the housetops. And do not fear those who kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul. But rather fear Him who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for an assarion? And one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Therefore do not fear, you are of more value than many sparrows. Then everyone who shall confess Me before men, I will confess him before My Father who is in Heaven. But whoever shall deny Me before men, I will also deny him before My Father in Heaven. Do not think that I have come to bring peace on earth. I did not come to send peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a man’s foes shall be those of his own household. He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take up his cross and follow Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life shall lose it. And he who loses his life for My sake shall find it. He who receives you receives Me, and he who receives Me receives Him who sent Me. He who receives a prophet in the name of a prophet shall receive a prophet’s reward. And he who receives a just one in the name of a just one will receive a just one’s reward. And whoever shall give to one of these little ones a cup of cold water to drink, only in the name of a disciple, truly I say to you, He shall in no way lose his reward.

Warning his disciples, and referring to another as Son of Man, and My Father in Heaven.  There is a terrible message here as well, you should love Jesus more than your parents, parents should love Jesus more than their own children!    The worst is “Do not think that I have come to bring peace on earth. I did not come to send peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a man’s foes shall be those of his own household. ”  The fuck…I don’t need to add a single word.

Chapter 11

And it happened, when Jesus had finished commanding His twelve disciples, He left there to teach and to proclaim in their cities. But when John heard in the prison of the works of Christ, he sent two of his disciples. And they said to Him, Are You he who should come, or do we look for another? Jesus answered and said to them, Go and tell John again those things which you hear and see: the blind receive their sight, and the lame walk; the lepers are cleansed, and the deaf hear; the dead are raised, and the poor have the gospel proclaimed to them. And blessed is he, whoever shall not be offended in Me.

More miracles by proxy.  More impossible things.  The dead can not be raised.

And as they departed, Jesus began to say to the crowds concerning John, What did you go out into the wilderness to see? A reed shaken with the wind? But what did you go out to see? A man clothed in soft clothing? Behold, they who wear soft clothing are in kings’ houses. But what did you go out to see? A prophet? Yea, I say to you, and one more excellent than a prophet. For this is the one of whom it is written, “Behold, I send My messenger before Your face, who shall prepare Your way before You.” Truly I say to you, Among those who have been born of women there has not risen a greater one than John the Baptist. But the least in the kingdom of Heaven is greater than he. And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of Heaven is taken by violence, and the violent take it by force. For all the prophets and the law prophesied until John. And if you will receive it, this is Elijah who is to come. He who has ears to hear, let him hear.

What the fuck does this mean?  I have read the commentary and it still makes no sense.

But to what shall I compare to this generation? It is like little children sitting in the markets and calling to their playmates, saying, We played the flute to you, and you did not dance! We mourned to you, but you did not wail! For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, He has a demon. The Son of man came eating and drinking, and they say, Behold a man who is a glutton and a winebibber, a friend of tax-collectors and sinners. But wisdom was justified by her children. Then He began to upbraid the cities in which most of His mighty works were done, because they did not repent. Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the powerful acts which were done in you had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes! But I say to you, It shall be more tolerable for Tyre and Sidon in the day of judgment than for you. And you, Capernaum, who are exalted to the heaven, shall be brought down to hell. For if the mighty works which have been done in you had been done in Sodom, it would have remained until this day. But I say to you, it shall be more tolerable for the land of Sodom in the day of judgment than for you.

Yeah, we are all sinners, blah blah and reference to a city that never existed.

At that time Jesus answered and said, I thank You, O Father, Lord of Heaven and earth, because You have hidden these things from the sophisticated and cunning, and revealed them to babes. Even so, Father, for so it seemed good in Your sight. All things are delivered to Me by My Father. And no one knows the Son except the Father. Nor does anyone know the Father except the Son, and the one to whom the Son will reveal Him. Come to Me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke on you and learn of Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you shall find rest to your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.

So deviness is hidden, but morons will know?  Have to say, only a moron would believe this shit.

Chapter 12

At that time Jesus went through the grain fields on the sabbath day. And His disciples were hungry, and began to pluck the heads of grain and to eat. But when the Pharisees saw, they said to Him, Behold, your disciples do that which it is not lawful to do on the sabbath day. But He said to them, Have you not read what David did when he was hungry, and those who were with him, how he entered into the house of God and ate the showbread, which was not lawful for him to eat, nor for those who were with him, but only for the priests? Or have you not read in the Law that on the sabbath days the priests in the temple profane the sabbath and are blameless? But I say to you that One greater than the temple is in this place. But if you had known what this is, “I desire mercy and not sacrifice,” you would not have condemned those who are not guilty. For the Son of man is Lord even of the sabbath. And when He had departed from there, He went into their synagogue. And behold, a man having a withered hand. And they asked Him, saying, Is it lawful to heal on the sabbaths? This so that they might accuse Him. And He said to them, What man among you will be, who will have one sheep, and if it falls into a pit on the sabbaths, will he not lay hold on it and lift it out? How much better is a man then than a sheep? Therefore it is lawful to do well on the sabbath days. Then He said to the man, Stretch out your hand. And he stretched it out, and it was restored whole like the other.

Loophole so followers of Jesus can ignore this commandment.

Then the Pharisees went out and held council against Him, as to how they might destroy Him. But when Jesus knew it, He withdrew Himself from there. And great crowds followed Him, and He healed them all. And He warned them that they not make Him known, so that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Isaiah the prophet, saying, “Behold My Child whom I have chosen; My Beloved, in whom My soul is well pleased. I will put My Spirit on Him, and He shall declare judgment to the nations. He shall not strive, nor cry, nor shall any one hear His voice in the streets. He will not break a bruised reed, and He will not quench a smoking wick, until He sends out judgment to victory. And in His name the nations shall trust.”

Kind of boastful here.

Then one who had been demon-possessed was brought to Him, blind and dumb. And He healed him, so much so that the blind and dumb one both spoke and saw. And all the people were amazed and said, Is not this the son of David? But when the Pharisees heard, they said, This one does not cast out demons except by Beelzebub the ruler of the demons. And Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation. And every city or house divided against itself shall not stand. And if Satan casts out Satan, he is divided against himself; how then shall his kingdom stand? But if I cast out demons by Beelzebub, by whom do your sons cast them out? Therefore they shall be your judges. But if I cast out demons by the Spirit of God, then the kingdom of God has come to you. Or else how can one enter into a strong man’s house and spoil his goods, unless first he binds the strong one, and then he will plunder his house. The one who is not with Me is against Me, and the one who does not gather with Me scatters. Therefore I say to you, All kinds of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven to men, but the blasphemy against the Holy Spirit shall not be forgiven to men. And whoever speaks a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him. But whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit, it shall not be forgiven him, either in this world or in the world to come. Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or else make the tree corrupt and its fruit corrupt; for the tree is known by its fruit. Offspring of vipers! How can you, being evil, speak good things? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. A good man out of the good treasure of the heart brings out good things; and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings out evil things. But I say to you that every idle word, whatever men may speak, they shall give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you shall be justified, and by your words you shall be condemned.

Another demon possession, I see the one sin that can’t be forgiven is blasphemy against the holy spirit.   This is one jealous god.

Then certain of the scribes and of the Pharisees answered, saying, Master, we want to see a sign from you. But He answered and said to them, An evil and adulterous generation seeks after a sign. And there shall be no sign given to it except the sign of the prophet Jonah. For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of the huge fish, so the Son of man shall be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth. The men of Nineveh shall rise in judgment with this generation, and shall condemn it, because they repented at the proclaiming of Jonah, and behold, One greater than Jonah is here. The queen of the south shall rise up in the Judgment with this generation, and shall condemn it, for she came from the uttermost parts of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon, and behold, One greater than Solomon is here. When the unclean spirit has gone out of a man, he walks through dry places seeking rest, and finds none. Then he said, I will return into my house from where I came out. And when he has come, he finds it empty, swept, and decorated. Then he goes and takes with him seven other spirits more evil than himself, and they enter in and live there. And the last state of that man is worse than the first. Even so it also shall be to this evil generation.

Reference to Jonah and the giant fish/whale.  We know that didn’t happen. Who is the queen of the south?  Cleopatra?  This is apparently a very evil generation.

But while He yet talked with the people, behold, His mother and His brothers stood outside, desiring to speak with Him. Then one said to Him, Behold, Your mother and Your brothers stand outside, desiring to speak with You. And He answered and said to him who told Him, Who is My mother? And who are My brothers? And He stretched out His hand toward His disciples and said, Behold, My mother and My brothers! For whoever shall do the will of My Father in Heaven, the same is My brother and sister and mother.

So Jesus’ mother is still alive and he has literal brothers.  He then turns his backs on his real mother and brothers to say that his disciples are his real mother and brothers.

Chapter 13

In that day Jesus went out of the house and sat by the seaside. And great crowds were gathered to Him, so that He went into a boat and sat. And all the crowd stood on the shore. And He spoke many things to them in parables, saying, Behold, the sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seeds fell by the wayside, and the birds came and devoured them. Some fell on stony places, where they did not have much earth. And they sprang up immediately, because they had no deepness of earth. And the sun rising, they were scorched, and because they had no root, they withered away. And some fell among thorns. And the thorns sprung up and choked them. And some fell on the good ground and yielded fruit, indeed one a hundredfold, and one sixty, and one thirty.

Well, there is a useless parable.  I guess it is to say only preach to those who want to be converted?

He who has ears to hear, let him hear. And the disciples said to Him, Why do You speak to them in parables? He answered and said to them, Because it is given to you to know the mysteries of the kingdom of Heaven, but it is not given to them. For whoever has, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance. But whoever does not have, from him shall be taken away even that which he has. Therefore I speak to them in parables, because seeing they see not, and hearing they hear not; nor do they understand. And in them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah which said, “By hearing you shall hear and shall not understand; and seeing you shall see and shall not perceive; for this people’s heart has become gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and they have closed their eyes, lest at any time they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears and should understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them.” But blessed are your eyes, for they see; and your ears, for they hear. For truly I say to you that many prophets and righteous men have desired to see those things which you see, and have not seen them; and to hear what you hear, and have not heard them. Therefore hear the parable of the sower. When anyone hears the Word of the kingdom and does not understand it, then the wicked one comes and catches away that which was sown in his heart. This is the seed sown by the wayside. But that which was sown on the stony places is this: he who hears the Word and immediately receives it with joy. But he has no root in himself, and is temporary. For when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, he immediately stumbles. And that sown into the thorns is this: he who hears the word; and the anxiety of this world, and the deceit of riches, choke the word, and he becomes unfruitful. But that sown on the good ground is this: “he who hears the Word and understands; who also bears fruit and produces” one truly a hundredfold; and one sixty; and one thirty.

Yep, I was right.  Preach everywhere and only one in a hundred will be converted.

He put out another parable to them, saying, The kingdom of heaven is compared to a man who sowed good seed in his field. But while men slept, his enemy came and sowed darnel among the wheat and went his way. But when the blade had sprung up and had produced fruit, then the darnel also appeared. So the servants of the householder came and said to him, Sir, did you not sow good seed in your field? Then where have the darnel come from? He said to them, An enemy has done this. The servants said to him, Then do you want us to go and gather them up? But he said, No, lest while you gather up the darnel you also root up the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest. And in the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, First gather together the darnel and bind them in bundles to burn them, but gather the wheat into my granary.

Kill them all, let God sort it out.

He put out another parable to them, saying, The kingdom of Heaven is like a grain of mustard seed, which a man took and sowed in his field; which indeed is the least of all seeds, but when it is grown it is the greatest among herbs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and lodge in its branches.

Umm, mustard seeds are NOT the smallest seed, even local to the region he supposedly lived in.  They are 2 to 3mm in diameter.  A poppy seed is about 50 times smaller.  Jesus (or the writer) was not a gardener, mustard plants are pretty small, and are not a woody plant.  They are like a turnip or cabbage.

He spoke another parable to them: The kingdom of Heaven is like leaven, which a woman took and hid in three measures of meal until the whole was leavened. Jesus spoke all these things to the crowds in parables, and He did not speak to them without a parable, so that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophet, saying, “I will open my mouth in parables; I will utter things which have been kept secret from the foundation of the world.” Then sending the crowds away, Jesus went into the house. And His disciples came to Him, saying, Explain to us the parable of the darnel of the field. He answered and said to them, He who sows the good seed is the Son of man; the field is the world; the good seed are the sons of the kingdom; but the darnel are the sons of the evil one. The enemy who sowed them is the Devil; the harvest is the end of the world; and the reapers are the angels. Therefore as the darnel are gathered and burned in the fire, so it shall be in the end of this world. The Son of man shall send out His angels, and they shall gather out of His kingdom all things that offend, and those who do iniquity, and shall cast them into a furnace of fire. There shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth. Then the righteous shall shine out like the sun in the kingdom of their Father. He who has ears to hear, let him hear.

Called it again, the darnel and wheat is a super simple parable.  Why did it need to explained further?  Also, the earth does not have a foundation.

Again, the kingdom of Heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which when a man has found it, he hides it, and for the joy of it goes and sells all that he has, and buys that field. Again, the kingdom of Heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls; who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it. Again, the kingdom of Heaven is like a net that was cast into the sea, and gathered some of every kind; which, when it was full, they drew to shore, and sat down and gathered the good into vessels, but threw the bad away. So it shall be at the end of the world. The angels shall come out and separate the wicked from among the just, and shall cast them into the furnace of fire. There shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth. Jesus said to them, Have you understood all these things? They said to Him, Yes, Lord. Then He said to them, Therefore every scribe who is instructed to the kingdom of Heaven is like a man who is a householder, who brings out things new and old out of his treasure.

Like I said, kill them all and let God sort them out.  Angels will toss them all into the furnace of fire and wailing and grinding teeth.

And it happened when Jesus finished these parables, He departed from there. And when He had come into His own country, He taught them in their synagogue, so much so that they were astonished and said, From where does this man have this wisdom and these mighty works? Is not this the carpenter’s son? Is not his mother called Mary? And his brothers, James and Joses and Simon and Judas, and his sisters, are they not all with us? Then from where does this man have all these things? And they were offended in Him. But Jesus said to them, A prophet is not without honor, except in his own country and in his own house. And He did not do many mighty works there because of their unbelief.

To be honest, these parables are weaker that Aesop’s fables.  It is the rambling of a apocalyptic preacher.  Jesus has 4 brothers and nameless sisters.  Sounds like his family has shunned him and don’t believe him.

Chapter 14

At that time Herod the tetrarch heard of the fame of Jesus and said to his servants, This is John the Baptist. He has risen from the dead, and therefore the powerful works are working in him. For Herod had laid hold on John, and had bound him, and had put him in prison because of Herodias his brother Philip’s wife. For John said to him, It is not lawful for you to have her. And when he desired to put him to death, he feared the multitude, because they counted him as a prophet. But when Herod’s birthday was kept, the daughter of Herodias danced before them and pleased Herod. So he promised with an oath to give her whatever she would ask. And she, being instructed before by her mother, said, Give me John the Baptist’s head here on a platter. And the king was sorry. But for the oath’s sake, and those reclining with him, he commanded it to be given. And he sent and beheaded John in the prison. And his head was brought on a platter and given to the girl. And she brought it to her mother. And his disciples came and took up the body and buried it, and went and told Jesus.

So, that went dark.  What was the point of that?

When Jesus heard, He departed from there by boat into a deserted place apart. And hearing, the crowds followed Him on foot out of the cities. And Jesus went out and saw a great crowd, and He was moved with compassion toward them. And He healed their sick. And evening coming on, His disciples came to Him, saying, The place is deserted and the time has already gone by. Send the crowd away so that they may go into the villages and buy food for themselves. But Jesus said to them, They do not need to leave, you give them something to eat. And they said to Him, We have here only five loaves and two fish. And He said, Bring them here to Me. And He commanded the crowd to recline on the grass. And He took the five loaves and the two fish, and looking up to Heaven He blessed and broke, and gave the loaves to His disciples. And the disciples gave to the crowd. And they all ate and were filled. And they took up twelve hand baskets full from the fragments that remained. And they who had eaten were about five thousand men, besides women and children.

So Jesus feeds 5,000 + probably 10,000 to 15,000 women and children.  So let’s do the math: 20,000 people X 2 fish each + 1 Loaf each, equals 40,000 fish and 20,000 loaves of bread, appearing out of nowhere, with 12 baskets left over of the scraps.  Figure a kilogram of fish and loaves per person.  20,000 kilograms of food, so 22 TONS of food.  If he magically converted energy to mass, that is 20,000 Kg * C * C =  1.7975e+21 joules or  4.2962e+5 megatons of TNT Yes, 429,620 megatons of TNT.  Yeah, makes sense.

And immediately Jesus constrained His disciples to get into a boat and to go before Him to the other side, while He sent the crowds away. And when He had sent the crowds away, He went up into a mountain apart to pray. And when evening had come, He was there alone. But the boat was now in the midst of the sea, tossed with waves; for the wind was against them. And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went to them, walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a phantom! And they cried out for fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, Be of good cheer, I AM! Do not fear. And Peter answered Him and said, LORD, if it is You, tell me to come to You on the water. And He said, Come. And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. But seeing that the wind was strong, he was afraid. And beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me! And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him; and said to him, Little-faith! Why did you doubt? And when they had come into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat came and worshiped Him, saying, Truly You are the Son of God.

Jesus walks and water and calms the storm.  Kind of a weird super power.

And when they had passed over, they came to the land of Gennesaret. And recognizing Him, the men of that place sent to all that neighborhood, and brought to Him all who were diseased. And they begged Him that they might only touch the hem of His robe. And as many as touched were made perfectly whole.

Everyone cured just touching the hem of his robe.

Chapter 15

Then the scribes and Pharisees who were from Jerusalem came to Jesus, saying, Why do your disciples transgress the tradition of the elders? For they do not wash their hands when they eat bread. But He answered and said to them, Why do you also transgress the commandment of God by your tradition? For God commanded, saying, “Honor your father and mother”; and, “He who speaks evil of father or mother, let him die by death.” But you say, Whoever says to his father or mother, Whatever you would gain from me, It is a gift to God; and in no way he honors his father or his mother. And you voided the commandment of God by your tradition. Hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy of you, saying, “This people draws near to Me with their mouth, and honors Me with their lips, but their heart is far from Me. But in vain they worship Me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.”

So, don’t wash your hands and fuck the traditions.

And He called the crowd and said to them, Hear and understand. Not that which goes into the mouth defiles a man; but that which comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man. Then His disciples came and said to Him, Do You know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this saying? But He answered and said, Every plant which My heavenly Father has not planted shall be rooted up. Let them alone. They are blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch. Then Peter answered and said to Him, Explain this parable to us. And Jesus said, Are you also still without understanding? Do you not yet understand that whatever enters in at the mouth goes into the belly, and is cast out into the waste-bowl? But the things which come out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile the man. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies; these are the things which defile a man, but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile a man.

Well, this is just plain wrong.  Many diseases enter by the mouth and nose.  Wash your fucking hands before you eat.  It is not what you say that makes you sick, it is what you put in your mouth.  I wonder how many people have died because of this stupid passage?

And going out from there, Jesus withdrew to the parts of Tyre and Sidon. And behold, a woman of Canaan coming out of these borders cried to Him, saying, Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David! My daughter is grievously vexed with a demon. But He did not answer her a word. And His disciples came and begged Him, saying, Send her away, for she cries after us. But He answered and said, I am not sent except to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. Then she came and worshiped Him, saying, Lord, help me! But He answered and said, It is not good to take the children’s bread and to throw it to dogs. And she said, True, O Lord; but even the little dogs eat of the crumbs which fall from their masters’ tables. Then Jesus answered and said to her, O woman, great is your faith! So be it to you even as you wish. And her daughter was healed from that very hour.

Same as the Roman child healed, different sexes.  Again, no such thing as demons.

And moving from there Jesus came beside the Sea of Galilee. And He went up into a mountain and sat there. And great crowds came to Him, having with them the lame, blind, dumb, maimed, and many others. And they cast them down at Jesus’ feet. And He healed them, so much so that the crowd wondered when they saw the dumb speak, the maimed sound, the lame walk, and the blind see. And they glorified the God of Israel. Then Jesus called His disciples and said, I have compassion on the crowd because they continue with Me for three days now and have nothing to eat. And I will not send them away fasting, lest they faint in the way. And His disciples said to Him, From where should we get so many loaves in the wilderness, so as to fill so great a crowd? And Jesus said to them, How many loaves do you have? And they said, Seven, and a few little fish. And He commanded the crowd to sit on the ground. And He took the seven loaves and the fish, and gave thanks, and broke, and gave to His disciples. And the disciples gave to the crowd. And they all ate, and were filled; and they took up seven lunch baskets full of the pieces that was left. And those who ate were four thousand men, besides women and children. And sending the crowd away, He went into the boat and came into the borders of Magdala.

Same miracles, different day.  More blind seeing, lame cured, and loaves and fish from nowhere, 4,000 men this time.

Chapter 16

The Pharisees and the Sadducees came to Him, tempting Him. And they asked Him that He would show them a sign from Heaven. He answered and said to them, When it is evening, you say, Fair weather; for the sky is red. And in the morning, Foul weather today; for the sky is red and gloomy. Hypocrites! You can discern the face of the sky, but you cannot see the signs of the times! A wicked and adulterous generation seeks after a sign. And there shall no sign be given to it, except the sign of the prophet Jonah. And He left them and went away.

Not sure what this is supposed to mean.  Red at night, sailors delight, red at morn, sailors be warned.  Not really a miracle, it just has to do with dust in the atmosphere.  A barometer works better.

And when His disciples had come to the other side, they forgot to take loaves. And Jesus said to them, Take heed, and beware the leaven of the Pharisees and of the Sadducees. And they reasoned among themselves, saying, It is because we have taken no loaves. And knowing Jesus said to them, Why do you reason among yourselves because you took no loaves, little-faiths? Do you not yet understand, nor remember the five loaves of the five thousand, and how many hand baskets you took up; nor the seven loaves of the four thousand, and how many lunch baskets you took up? How is it that you do not understand that I did not speak to you about loaves, but to beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and of the Sadducees? Then they understood that He did not say to beware of the leaven of bread, but of the doctrine of the Pharisees and Sadducees.

Ugh, who cares?  None of this happened.

And coming into the parts of Caesarea Philippi, Jesus asked His disciples, saying, Who do men say Me to be, the Son of man? And they said, Some say, John the Baptist; some, Elijah; and others, Jeremiah, or one of the prophets. He said to them, But who do you say I am? And Simon Peter answered and said, You are the Christ, the Son of the living God. Jesus answered and said to him, You are blessed, Simon, son of Jonah, for flesh and blood did not reveal it to you, but My Father in Heaven. And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. And I will give the keys of the kingdom of Heaven to you. And whatever you may bind on earth shall occur, having been bound in Heaven, and whatever you may loose on earth shall occur, having been loosed in Heaven. Then He warned His disciples that they should tell no one that He was Jesus the Christ.

Kind of late for that, isn’t it?

From that time Jesus began to show His disciples that He must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised again the third day. Then Peter took Him and began to rebuke Him, saying, God be gracious to You, Lord! This shall never be to You. But He turned and said to Peter, Go, Satan! You are an offense to Me, for you do not savor the things that are of God, but those that are of men.

Wow, a little heavy on the foreshadowing here.

Then Jesus said to His disciples, If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life shall lose it, and whoever desires to lose his life for My sake shall find it. For what is a man profited if he shall gain the whole world and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? For the Son of man shall come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and then He shall reward each one according to his works. Truly I say to you, There are some standing here who shall not taste of death until they see the Son of man coming in His kingdom.

Well, that didn’t work out.  Close to 2,000 years later and we still have seen the Son of man coming in His kingdom.

Chapter 17

And after six days Jesus took Peter, James, and John his brother, and brought them up into a high mountain apart. And He was transfigured before them. And His face shone as the sun, and His clothing was white as the light. And behold, there appeared to them Moses and Elijah talking with Him. And Peter answered and said to Jesus, Lord, it is good for us to be here. If You will, let us make here three tabernacles; one for You, and one for Moses, and one for Elijah. While he yet spoke, behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them. And behold a voice out of the cloud which said, This is My beloved Son in whom I am well pleased, hear Him. And when the disciples heard, they fell on their face and were greatly terrified. And Jesus came and touched them, and said, Arise and do not be terrified. And lifting up their eyes, they saw no one except Jesus alone. And as they came down from the mountain, Jesus commanded them, saying, Tell the vision to no one until the Son of man has risen from the dead. And His disciples asked Him, saying, Why then do the scribes say that Elijah must come first? And answering Jesus said to them, Elijah truly shall come first and restore all things. But I say to you that Elijah has come already, and they did not know him, but have done to him whatever they desired. Likewise also the Son of man shall suffer from them. Then His disciples understood that He spoke to them about John the Baptist.

So Elijah returned as John the Baptist?  Tell no one, so that is why we are reading about it.

And when they came to the crowd, a man came to Him, kneeling down to Him and saying, Lord, have mercy on my son, for he is a lunatic and grievously vexed; for oftentimes he falls into the fire, and often into the water. And I brought him to Your disciples, and they could not cure him. Then Jesus answered and said, O faithless and perverse generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I suffer you? Bring him here to Me. And Jesus rebuked the demon, and he departed out of him. And the child was cured from that very hour. Then the disciples came to Jesus apart, and said, Why could we not cast him out? And Jesus said to them, Because of your unbelief. For truly I say to you, If you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you shall say to this mountain, Move from here to there. And it shall move. And nothing shall be impossible to you. However, this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting.

Another demon. If you have real faith, you can move mountains and nothing will be impossible for you.  Yeah, I call bullshit.

And while they stayed in Galilee, Jesus said to them, The Son of man shall be betrayed into the hands of men. And they will kill Him, and the third day He will be raised again. And they grieved exceedingly.

Third (?) time saying he shall be betrayed.

And when they had come to Capernaum, those who received the didrachmas came to Peter and said, Does your master not pay the didrachmas? He said, Yes. And when he had come into the house, Jesus anticipated him, saying, What do you think, Simon? From whom do the kings of the earth take custom or tribute? From their sons, or from strangers? Peter said to Him, From strangers. Jesus said to him, Then truly the sons are free. But lest we should offend them, go to the sea and cast a hook, and take up the first fish that comes up. And when you have opened its mouth, you shall find a stater; take that, and give it to them for Me and you.

So cast a line and catch a fish with a coin in its mouth.  People believe in this this, hugh?

Chapter 18

At that hour the disciples came to Jesus, saying, Who is the greater in the kingdom of Heaven? And Jesus called a little child to Him and set him in their midst, and said, Truly I say to you, Unless you are converted and become as little children, you shall not enter into the kingdom of Heaven. Therefore whoever shall humble himself like this little child, this one is the greater in the kingdom of Heaven. And whoever shall receive one such little child in My name receives Me. But whoever shall offend one of these little ones who believes in Me, it would be better for him that an ass’s millstone were hung around his neck, and he be sunk in the depth of the sea.

So you need the credulity of a child to get into Heaven.  God is looking for ignorant children.  Nice.

 

Woe to the world because of offenses! For it is necessary that offenses come; but woe to that man by whom the offense comes! And if your hand or your foot causes you to offend, cut them off and throw them from you. It is better for you to enter into life lame or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire. And if your eye offends you, pluck it out and throw it from you. It is better for you to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into the hell of fire. Take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I say to you that in Heaven their angels always behold the face of My Father in Heaven. For the Son of man has come to save that which was lost. What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them strays, does he not leave the ninety and nine and go into the mountains and seek the straying one? And if it happens that he finds it, truly I say to you, he rejoices more over it than over the ninety and nine which did not stray. Even so it is not the will of your Father in Heaven that one of these little ones should perish.

This is a strange passage. Puck out your eye, cut of hands or feet if they sin.  This appears pretty literal to me.  Actually, if you lose one sheep, you will not risk the 99 to save one, that is stupid.  Didn’t we read this 12 or so chapters ago?

 

But if your brother shall trespass against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear you, take one or two more with you, so that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he neglects to hear the church, let him be to you as a heathen and a tax-collector. Truly I say to you, Whatever you shall bind on earth shall occur, having been bound in Heaven; and whatever you shall loose on earth shall occur, having been loosed in Heaven. Again I say to you that if two of you shall agree on earth as regarding anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them by My Father in Heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in My name, there I am in their midst.

So if someone wrongs you, get a couple of witnesses to corroborate your side?  Reads like your acts on Earth DO affect you in Heaven.

Then Peter came to Him and said, Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Until seven times? Jesus said to him, I do not say to you, Until seven times; but, Until seventy times seven. Therefore the kingdom of Heaven has been compared to a certain king who desired to make an accounting with his servants. And when he had begun to count, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. But as he had nothing to pay, his lord commanded that he, and his wife and children, and all that he had, be sold, and payment be made. Then the servant fell down and worshiped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me and I will pay you all. Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion and released him and forgave him the debt. But the same servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. And he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me what you owe. And his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, Have patience with me and I will pay you all. And he would not, but went and cast him into prison until he should pay the debt. So when his fellow servants saw what was done, they were very sorry. And they came and told their lord all that was done. Then his lord, after he had called him, said to him, O wicked servant, I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have pitied your fellow servant, even as I had pity on you? And his lord was angry, and delivered him to the tormentors until he should pay all that was due to him. So likewise shall My heavenly Father do also to you, unless each one of you from your hearts forgive his brother their trespasses.

So you have to forgive all respasses, or you can not get in heavan.  A little too forgiving for my taste.

Chapter 19

And it happened, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came into the borders of Judea beyond Jordan. And great crowds followed Him. And He healed them there.

And the Pharisees came to Him, tempting Him and saying to Him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And He answered and said to them, Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning “made them male and female”, and said, “For this cause a man shall leave father and mother and shall cling to his wife, and the two of them shall be one flesh?” “Therefore they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” They said to Him, Why did Moses then command to give a bill of divorce and to put her away? He said to them, Because of your hard-heartedness Moses allowed you to put away your wives; but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, Whoever shall put away his wife, except for fornication, and shall marry another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is put away commits adultery. His disciples said to Him, If this is the case of the man with his wife, it is not good to marry. But He said to them, Not all receive this word, except those to whom it is given. For there are some eunuchs who were born so from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of Heaven’s sake. He who is able to receive it, let him receive it.

So, unless there is adultery, divorce is illegal.  If you do get divorced, you can never get remarried.

Then little children were brought to Him, that He should put His hands on them and pray. And the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said, Allow the little children to come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of Heaven. And He laid His hands on them, and departed from there.

Holy men putting hands on children is a little creepy.

And behold, one came and said to Him, Good Master, what good thing shall I do that I may have eternal life? And He said to him, Why do you call Me good? There is none good but one, that is, God. But if you want to enter into life, keep the commandments. He said to Him, Which? Jesus said, You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not bear false witness, honor your father and mother, and, you shall love your neighbor as yourself. The young man said to Him, I have kept all these things from my youth up; what do I lack yet? Jesus said to him, If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you shall have treasure in Heaven. And come, follow Me. But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful; for he had great possessions.

So, to enter heaven, you have not murder, commit adultery, steal, lie, honor your parents, and love your neighbor as you love yourself AND give everything to the poor.

Then Jesus said to His disciples, Truly I say to you that a rich man will with great difficulty enter into the kingdom of Heaven. And again I say to you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. When His disciples heard, they were exceedingly amazed, saying, Who then can be saved? But Jesus looked on them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible. Then answering Peter said to Him, Behold, we have forsaken all and have followed You. Therefore what shall we have? And Jesus said to them, Truly I say to you that you who have followed Me, in the regeneration, when the Son of man shall sit in the throne of His glory, you also shall sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone who left houses, or brothers, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for My name’s sake, shall receive a hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life. But many who are first shall be last; and the last shall be first.

So, you have to give up everything, follow Jesus, leave your home and family and land, so you get everlasting life.

Chapter 20

For the kingdom of Heaven is like a man, a housemaster, who went out early in the morning to hire laborers into his vineyard. And when he had agreed with the laborers for a denarius a day, he sent them into his vineyard. And he went out about the third hour and saw others standing idle in the marketplace. And he said to them, You also go into the vineyard, and whatever is right I will give you. And they went. And he went out about the sixth and ninth hour and did likewise. And about the eleventh hour he went out and found others standing idle, and said to them, Why do you stand here all day idle? They said to him, Because no one has hired us. He said to them, You also go into the vineyard, and you shall receive whatever is right. So when evening had come, the lord of the vineyard said to his steward, Call the laborers and pay them their wage, beginning from the last to the first. And when they who were hired about the eleventh hour came, they each one received a denarius. But when the first came, they supposed that they would received more; and they also each one received a denarius. And receiving it they murmured against the master of the house, saying, These last have worked only one hour, and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden and heat of the day. But he answered one of them and said, Friend, I do you no wrong. Did you not agree with me for a denarius? Take yours, and go; I will give to this last one the same as to you. Is it not lawful for me to do what I want with my own? Is your eye evil because I am good? So the last shall be first, and the first last, for many are called, but few are chosen.

 

And going up to Jerusalem, Jesus took the twelve disciples apart in the way, and said to them, Behold, we go up to Jerusalem. And the Son of man shall be betrayed to the chief priests and to the scribes, and they shall condemn Him to death. And they shall deliver Him to the nations to mock and to scourge and to crucify. And the third day He shall rise again.

Then the mother of Zebedee’s children came to Him with her sons, worshiping and desiring a certain thing from Him. And He said to her, What do you desire? She said to Him, Grant that these my two sons may sit in Your kingdom, the one on Your right hand and the other on the left. But Jesus answered and said, You do not know what you ask. Are you able to drink of the cup that I shall drink of, and to be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with? They said to Him, We are able. And He said to them, You shall indeed drink of My cup and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with; but to sit on My right hand and on My left is not Mine to give, but to those for whom it has been prepared by My Father. And when the ten heard it, they were indignant concerning the two brothers. But Jesus called them and said, You know that the rulers of the nations exercise dominion over them, and they who are great exercise authority over them. However, it shall not be so among you. But whoever desires to be great among you, let him be your servant. And whoever desires to be chief among you, let him be your servant; even as the Son of man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.

And as they departed from Jericho, a great crowd followed Him. And behold, two blind men were sitting by the wayside. When they heard that Jesus passed by, they cried out, saying, Have mercy on us, O Lord, Son of David! And the crowd rebuked them, saying that they should be silent. But they cried the more, saying, Have mercy on us, O Lord, Son of David! And Jesus stood still and called them, and said, What do you desire that I should do to you? They said to Him, Lord, that our eyes may be opened. So Jesus had compassion on them and touched their eyes. And immediately their eyes received sight, and they followed Him.

Chapter 21

And when they drew near Jerusalem, and had come to Bethphage, to the Mount of Olives, then Jesus sent two disciples, saying to them, Go into the village across from you. And immediately you will find an ass tied, and a colt with her. Untie them and bring them to Me. And if anyone says anything to you, you shall say, The Lord has need of them, and immediately He will send them. All this was done so that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophet, saying, “Tell the daughter of Zion, Behold, your King comes to you, meek, and sitting on an ass, even a colt the foal of an ass.” And the disciples went and did as Jesus commanded them. And they brought the ass, even the colt, and put their clothes on them, and He sat on them. And a very great crowd spread their garments in the way. Others cut down branches from the trees and spread them in the way. And the crowds who went before, and those who followed, cried out, saying, Hosanna to the Son of David! Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord! Hosanna in the highest! And when He had come into Jerusalem, all the city was moved, saying, Who is this? And the crowd said, This is Jesus the prophet, from Nazareth of Galilee.

And Jesus went into the temple of God and cast out all those who sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the money-changers, and the seats of those who sold doves. And He said to them, It is written, “My house shall be called the house of prayer”; but you have made it a den of thieves. And the blind and the lame came to Him in the temple, and He healed them. And when the chief priests and scribes saw the wonderful things which He did, and the children crying in the temple, and saying, Hosanna to the Son of David, they were angry. And they said to Him, Do you hear what these say? And Jesus said to them, Yes, have you never read, “Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings You have perfected praise?” And leaving them, He went out of the city to Bethany, and spent the night there.

And returning early to the city, He hungered. And seeing a fig tree in the way, He came to it and found nothing on it except leaves only. And He said to it, let no fruit grow on you forever. And immediately the fig tree withered away. And when the disciples saw, they marveled, saying, How quickly the fig tree has withered away! Jesus answered and said to them, Truly I say to you, If you have faith and do not doubt, you shall not only do this miracle of the fig tree, but also; if you shall say to this mountain, Be moved and be thrown into the sea; it shall be done. And all things, whatever you shall ask in prayer, believing, you shall receive.

And when He had come into the temple, the chief priests and the elders of the people came to Him as He was teaching, and said, By what authority do you do these things? And who gave you this authority? And Jesus answered and said to them, I will also ask you one thing; which if you tell Me, I likewise will tell you by what authority I do these things. The baptism of John, where was it from? From Heaven or from men? And they reasoned within themselves, saying, If we shall say, From Heaven, he will say to us, Why then did you not believe him? But if we shall say From men, we fear the people; for all consider John as a prophet. And they answered Jesus and said, We cannot tell. And He said to them, Neither do I tell you by what authority I do these things.

But what do you think? A man had two sons; and he came to the first and said, Son, go work in my vineyard today. He answered and said, I will not. But afterwards he repented and went. And he came to the second and said likewise. And he answered and said, I go, sir; and did not go. Which of the two did the will of his father? They said to Him, The first. Jesus said to them, Truly I say to you that the tax-collectors and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came to you in the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him. But the tax-collectors and the harlots believed him. And when you had seen it, you did not repent afterwards so that you might believe him.

Hear another parable. There was a certain housemaster who planted a vineyard and hedged it round about, and dug a winepress in it, and built a tower, and rented it to vinedressers, and went into a far country. And when the season of the fruits drew near, he sent his servants to the vinedressers to receive its fruits. And the vinedressers took his servants, and beat one, and killed another, and stoned another. Again he sent other servants, more than the first, and they did the same to them. But last of all he sent his son to them, saying, They will respect my son. But when the vinedressers saw the son, they said among themselves, This is the heir. Come, let us kill him, and get hold of his inheritance. And taking him, they threw him out of the vineyard and killed him. Therefore when the lord of the vineyard comes, what will he do to those vinedressers? They said to Him, Bad men! He will miserably destroy them and will rent out his vineyard to other vinedressers who will give him the fruits in their seasons. Jesus said to them, Did you never read in the Scriptures, “The stone which the builders rejected, this One has become the head of the corner; this is the Lord’s doing, and it is marvelous in our eyes?” Therefore I say to you, The kingdom of God shall be taken from you and given to a nation bringing out its fruits. And he who falls on this Stone shall be broken, but on whomever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder. And when the chief priests and Pharisees heard His parables, they knew that He spoke of them. But seeking to lay hands on Him, they feared the crowd, because they held Him for a prophet.

Chapter 22

And Jesus answered and spoke to them again by parables, and said, The kingdom of Heaven is like a certain king who made a marriage for his son. And he sent out his servants to call those who were invited to the wedding; and they would not come. Again he sent out other servants, saying, Tell those who are invited, Behold, I have prepared my dinner; my oxen and fatlings are killed, and all things are ready. Come to the marriage. But not caring, they went their ways, one to his field, another to his trading. And the rest took his servants and treated them spitefully, and killed them. But when the king heard, he was angry. And he sent out his armies and destroyed those murderers, and burned up their city. Then he said to his servants, The wedding is ready, but they who were invited were not worthy. Therefore go into the exits of the highways, and as many as you shall find, invite them to the marriage. So the servants went out into the highways and gathered together as many as they found, both bad and good. And the wedding was filled with reclining guests. And the king coming in to look over the guests, he saw a man there who did not have on a wedding garment. And he said to him, Friend, how did you come in here without having a wedding garment? And he was speechless. Then the king said to the servants, Bind him hand and foot and take him away, and cast him into outer darkness. There shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. For many are called, but few chosen.

Then the Pharisees left and took counsel that they might entangle Him in words. And they sent their disciples out to Him along with the Herodians, saying, Master, we know that you are true, and that you teach the way of God in truth. Nor do you care for anyone, for you do not regard the person of men. Therefore tell us; what do you think? Is it lawful to give tribute to Caesar or not? But Jesus perceived their wickedness, and said, Why do you tempt Me, hypocrites? Show Me the tribute money. And they brought a denarius to Him. And He said to them, Whose image and inscription is this? They said to Him, Caesar’s. Then He said to them, Therefore render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things which are God’s. When they heard these words, they marveled, and they left Him and went away.

On that day the Sadducees came to Him, who say that there is no resurrection. And they asked Him, saying, Master, Moses said, If a man dies, having no children, his brother shall marry his wife and raise up seed to his brother. Now there were with us seven brothers. And the first, when he had married a wife, died. And, having no issue, he left his wife to his brother. The second also did likewise, and the third, to the seventh. And last of all the woman also died. Therefore in the resurrection, whose wife shall she be, of the seven? For they all had her. Jesus answered and said to them, You err, not knowing the Scriptures nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in Heaven. But regarding the resurrection of the dead, have you not read that which was spoken to you by God, saying, “I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob?” God is not the God of the dead, but of the living. And when the crowd heard this, they were astonished at His doctrine.

But hearing that He had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees were gathered together. Then one of them, a lawyer, asked, tempting Him and saying, Master, which is the great commandment in the Law? Jesus said to him, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.

While the Pharisees were gathered, Jesus asked them, saying, What do you think of Christ? Whose son is he? They say to Him, David’s. He said to them, How then does David by the Spirit call him Lord, saying, “the LORD said to my Lord, Sit on My right until I make Your enemies Your footstool for Your feet?” If David then calls Him Lord, how is He his son? And no one was able to answer Him a word, nor did anyone dare from that day to question Him any more.