Adam, Seth, Enos, Cainan, Mahalaleel, Jered, Enoch, Methuselah, Lamech, Noah, Shem, Ham, and Japheth. The sons of Japheth were Gomer, and Magog, and Madai, and Javan, and Tubal, and Meshech, and Tiras. And the sons of Gomer were Ashchenaz, and Riphath, and Togarmah. And the sons of Javan were Elishah, and Tarshish, Kittim, and Dodanim. The sons of Ham were Cush, and Mizraim, Put, and Canaan. And the sons of Cush were Seba, and Havilah, and Sabta, and Raamah, and Sabtecha. And the sons of Raamah were Sheba and Dedan. And Cush fathered Nimrod. He began to be mighty on the earth. And Mizraim fathered Ludim, and Anamim, and Lehabim, and Naphtuhim, and Pathrusim, and Casluhim (from whom came the Philistines), and Caphthorim. And Canaan fathered Zidon his firstborn, and Heth, the Jebusite also, and the Amorite, and the Girgashite, and the Hivite, and the Arkite, and the Sinite, and the Arvadite, and the Zemarite, and the Hamathite. The sons of Shem were Elam, and Asshur, and Arphaxad, and Lud, and Aram, and Uz, and Hul, and Gether, and Meshech. And Arphaxad fathered Shelah, and Shelah fathered Eber. And to Eber were born two sons. The name of the one was Peleg (because in his days the earth was divided), and the name of his brother was Joktan. And Joktan fathered Almodad, and Sheleph, and Hazar-maveth, and Jerah, and Hadoram, and Uzal, and Diklah, and Ebal, and Abimael, and Sheba, and Ophir, and Havilah, and Jobab. All these were the sons of Joktan. Shem, Arphaxad, Shelah, Eber, Peleg, Reu, Serug, Nahor, Terah, Abram (the same is Abraham).
Oh, this is starting well. Huge list of unpronounceable names.
The sons of Abraham: Isaac and Ishmael. These are their generations. The first-born of Ishmael was Nebaioth, and Kedar, and Adbeel, and Mibsam, Mishma, and Dumah, Massa, Hadad, and Tema, Jetur, Naphish, and Kedemah. These are the sons of Ishmael. And the sons of Keturah, Abraham’s concubine: She bore Zimran, and Jokshan, and Medan, and Midian, and Ishbak, and Shuah. And the sons of Jokshan: Sheba and Dedan. And the sons of Midian: Ephah, and Epher, and Henoch, and Abida, and Eldaah. All these are the sons of Keturah. And Abraham fathered Isaac. The sons of Isaac were Esau and Israel. The sons of Esau: Eliphaz, Reuel, and Jeush, and Jaalam, and Korah. The sons of Eliphaz: Teman, and Omar, Zephi, and Gatam, Kenaz, and Timna, and Amalek. The sons of Reuel: Nahath, Zerah, Shammah, and Mizzah. And the sons of Seir: Lotan, and Shobal, and Zibeon, and Anah, and Dishon, and Ezer, and Dishan. And the sons of Lotan: Hori and Homam. And Timna was Lotan’s sister. The sons of Shobal: Alian, and Manahath, and Ebal, Shephi, and Onam. And the sons of Zibeon: Aiah and Anah. The son of Anah was Dishon. And the sons of Dishon: Amram, and Eshban, and Ithran, and Cheran. The sons of Ezer: Bilhan, and Zavan, and Jakan. The sons of Dishan: Uz and Aran. And these are the kings who reigned in the land of Edom before a king reigned over the sons of Israel: Bela the son of Beor, and the name of his city was Dinhabah. And Bela died; and Jobab the son of Zerah of Bozrah reigned in his place. And Jobab died, and Husham of the land of the Temanites reigned in his place. And Husham died, and Hadad the son of Bedad, who struck Midian in the field of Moab, reigned in his place. And the name of his city was Avith. And Hadad died, and Samlah of Masrekah reigned in his place. And Samlah died, and Shaul of Rehoboth by the river reigned in his place. And Shaul died, and Baal-hanan the son of Achbor reigned in his place. And Baal-hanan died, and Hadad reigned in his place. And the name of his city was Pai. And his wife’s name was Mehetabel, the daughter of Matred, the daughter of Mezahab. And Hadad died. And the chiefs of Edom: chief Timnah, chief Aliah, chief Jetheth, chief Oholibamah, chief Elah, chief Pinon, chief Kenaz, chief Teman, chief Mibzar, chief Magdiel, chief Iram. These are the chiefs of Edom.
These are the sons of Israel: Reuben, Simeon, Levi, and Judah, Issachar, and Zebulun, Dan, Joseph, and Benjamin, Naphtali, Gad, and Asher. The sons of Judah: Er and Onan, and Shelah, three born to him from the daughter of Shua the Canaanitess. And Er, the first-born of Judah, was evil in the sight of the LORD, and He killed him. And Tamar his daughter-in-law bore him Pharez and Zerah. All the sons of Judah were five. The sons of Pharez: Hezron and Hamul. And the sons of Zerah were Zimri, and Ethan, and Heman, and Calcol, and Dara, all of them five. And the sons of Carmi: Achan, the troubler of Israel, who sinned in the cursed thing. And the son of Ethan was Azariah. And the sons also of Hezron, who were born to him: Jerahmeel, and Ram, and Chelubai. And Ram fathered Amminadab. And Amminadab fathered Nahshon, prince of the sons of Judah. And Nahshon fathered Salma, and Salma fathered Boaz, and Boaz fathered Obed, and Obed fathered Jesse. And Jesse fathered his first-born Eliab, and Abinadab the second, and Shimma the third, Nethaneel the fourth, Raddai the fifth, Ozem the sixth, David the seventh. Their sisters were Zeruiah and Abigail. And the sons of Zeruiah were Abishai, and Joab, and Asahel, three. And Abigail bore Amasa. And the father of Amasa was Jether, the Ishmaelite.
More, really? Really?
And Caleb the son of Hezron fathered sons of Azubah his wife, and of Jerioth. Her sons are these: Jesher, and Shobab, and Ardon. And when Azubah died, Caleb took Ephrath to himself, who bore him Hur. And Hur fathered Uri, and Uri fathered Bezaleel. And afterward Hezron went in to the daughter of Machir the father of Gilead, whom he married when he was sixty years old. And she bore him Segub. And Segub fathered Jair, who had twenty-three cities in the land of Gilead. And he took Geshur, and Aram, with the towns of Jair, from them, with Kenath, and its towns, sixty cities. All these belonged to the sons of Machir the father of Gilead. And after Hezron died in Caleb-ephratah, then Abiah, Hezron’s wife bore him Ashur the father of Tekoa. And the sons of Jerahmeel the first-born of Hezron: Ram the first-born, and Bunah, and Oren, and Ozem, and Ahijah. Jerahmeel also had another wife, whose name was Atarah. She was the mother of Onam. And the sons of Ram the first-born of Jerahmeel: were Maaz, and Jamin, and Eker. And the sons of Onam: Shammai and Jada. And the sons of Shammai: Nadab and Abishur. And the name of Abishur’s wife was Abihail, and she bore him Ahban and Molid. And the sons of Nadab: Seled and Appaim. But Seled died without sons. And the son of Appaim was Ishi. And the son of Ishi was Sheshan. And the son of Sheshan was Ahlai. And the sons of Jada, the brother of Shammai: Jether and Jonathan; and Jether died without sons. And the sons of Jonathan: Peleth and Zaza. These were the sons of Jerahmeel. And Sheshan had no sons, but daughters. And Sheshan had a servant, an Egyptian, and his name was Jarha. And Sheshan gave his daughter to his servant Jarha for a wife, and she bore him Attai. And Attai fathered Nathan, and Nathan fathered Zabad, and Zabad fathered Ephlal, and Ephlal fathered Obed, and Obed fathered Jehu, and Jehu fathered Azariah, and Azariah fathered Helez, and Helez fathered Eleasah, and Eleasah fathered Sisamai, and Sisamai fathered Shallum, and Shallum fathered Jekamiah, and Jekamiah fathered Elishama. And the sons of Caleb the brother of Jerahmeel: Mesha his first-born, the father of Ziph. And the sons of Mareshah the father of Hebron. And the sons of Hebron were Korah, and Tappuah, and Rekem, and Shema. And Shema fathered Raham, the father of Jorkoam. And Rekem fathered Shammai. And the son of Shammai was Maon. And Maon was the father of Beth-zur. And Ephah, Caleb’s concubine, bore Haran, and Moza, and Gazez. And Haran fathered Gazez. And the sons of Jahdai: Regem and Jotham and Geshan and Pelet and Ephah and Shaaph. Maachah, Caleb’s concubine, bore Sheber, and Tirhanah. She also bore Shaaph the father of Madmannah, Sheva the father of Machbenah, and the father of Gibea. And Caleb’s daughter was Achsah. These were the sons of Caleb the son of Hur. The first-born of Ephratah was Shobal the father of Kirjath-jearim; Salma the father of Bethlehem, Hareph the father of Beth-gader. And Shobal the father of Kirjath-jearim had sons: Haroeh, half of the Manahethites. And the families of Kirjath-jearim were the Ithrites, and the Puhites, and the Shumathites, and the Mishraites. From them came the Zareathites, and the Eshtaulites. The sons of Salma: Bethlehem, and the Netophathites, Ataroth, the house of Joab, and half the Manahethites, the Zorites. And the families of the scribes who lived at Jabez were the Tirathites, the Shimeathites, and Suchathites. These are the Kenites who came from Hemath, the father of the house of Rechab.
And these were the sons of David, who were born to him in Hebron. The first-born, Amnon, of Ahinoam of Jezreel. The second, Daniel, of Abigail of Carmel. The third, Absalom the son of Maachah the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur. The fourth, Adonijah the son of Haggith. The fifth, Shephatiah of Abital. The sixth was Ithream by Eglah his wife. These six were born to him in Hebron. And there he reigned seven years and six months. And he reigned in Jerusalem thirty-three years. And these were born to him in Jerusalem Shimea, and Shobab, and Nathan, and Solomon, four of Bathsheba the daughter of Ammiel and Ibhar, and Elishama, and Eliphelet, and Nogah, and Nepheg, and Japhia, and Elishama, and Eliada, and Eliphelet, nine. These were all the sons of David, besides the sons of the concubines, and Tamar their sister.
Rehash of Samuel 1
And Solomon’s son was Rehoboam, and Abijah his son, Asa his son, Jehoshaphat his son, Jehoram his son, Ahaziah his son, Joash his son, Amaziah his son, Azariah his son, Jotham his son, Ahaz his son, Hezekiah his son, Manasseh his son, Amon his son, Josiah his son. And the sons of Josiah: Johanan the first-born, Jehoiakim the second, Zedekiah the third, Shallum the fourth. And the sons of Jehoiakim: Jeconiah his son, and Zedekiah his son. And the sons of Jeconiah: Assir, and Shealtiel his son, and Malchiram, and Pedaiah, and Shenazar, Jecamiah, Hoshama, and Nedabiah. And the sons of Pedaiah: Zerubbabel and Shimei. And the sons of Zerubbabel: Meshullam and Hananiah, and Shelomith their sister, and Hashubah, and Ohel, and Berechiah, and Hasadiah, Jushab-hesed, five. And the sons of Hananiah: Pelatiah, and Jesaiah, the sons of Rephaiah, the sons of Arnan, the sons of Obadiah, the sons of Shechaniah. And the son of Shechaniah: Shemaiah. And the sons of Shemaiah: Hattush, and Igeal, and Bariah, and Neariah, and Shaphat, six. And the sons of Neariah were Elioenai, and Hezekiah, and Azrikam, three. And the sons of Elioenai: Hodaiah, and Eliashib, and Pelaiah, and Akkub, and Johanan, and Delaiah, and Anani, seven.
Skimming, nothing to see here.
The sons of Judah were Pharez, Hezron, and Carmi, and Hur, and Shobal. And Reaiah the son of Shobal fathered Jahath. And Jahath fathered Ahumai, and Lahad. These are the families of the Zorathites. And these were of the father of Etam: Jezreel, and Ishma, and Idbash, and the name of their sister was Hazelelponi and Penuel the father of Gedor, and Ezer the father of Hushah. These are the sons of Hur, the first-born of Ephratah, the father of Bethlehem. And Ashur the father of Tekoa had two wives, Helah and Naarah. And Naarah bore him Ahuzam, and Hepher, and Temeni, and Haahashtari. These were the sons of Naarah. And the sons of Helah: Zereth, and Jezoar, and Ethnan. And Coz fathered Anub, and Zobebah, and the families Aharhel, the son of Harum. And Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. And his mother called his name Jabez, saying, Because I bore him with sorrow. And Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, Oh that You would bless me indeed, and make my border larger, and that Your hand might be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, so that it may not grieve me! And God granted him that which he asked.
Skimming, nothing to see here.
And Chelub the brother of Shuah fathered Mehir; he was the father of Eshton. And Eshton fathered Beth-rapha, and Paseah, and Tehinnah, the father of Ir-nahash. These are the men of Rechah. And the sons of Kenaz: Othniel and Seraiah. And the son of Othniel was Hathath. And Meonothai fathered Ophrah. And Seraiah fathered Joab, the father of the Valley of the Craftsmen. For they were craftsmen. And the sons of Caleb the son of Jephunneh: Iru, Elah, and Naam. And the son of Elah was Kenaz. And the sons of Jehaleleel: Ziph, and Ziphah, Tiria, and Asareel. And the sons of Ezra: Jether, and Mered, and Epher, and Jalon. And she bore Miriam and Shammai, and Ishbah, Eshtemoa’s father. And his wife Jehudijah bore Jered the father of Gedor, and Heber the father of Socho, and Jekuthiel the father of Zanoah. And these are the sons of Bithiah the daughter of Pharaoh, whom Mered took. And the sons of his wife were Hodiah the sister of Naham, the father of Keilah the Garmite, and Eshtemoa the Maachathite. And the sons of Shimon: Amnon, and Rinnah, Ben-hanan, and Tilon. And the sons of Ishi: Zoheth and Ben-zoheth. The sons of Shelah the son of Judah: Er the father of Lecah, and Laadah the father of Mareshah, and the families of the house of those who worked fine linen, from the house of Ashbea, and Jokim, and the men of Chozeba, and Joash, and Saraph, who had the rule over Moab, and Jashubi-lehem. And these are ancient things. These were the potters and those who lived among plants and hedges. They lived there with the king for his work.
The sons of Simeon: Nemuel, and Jamin, Jarib, Zerah, Shaul, Shallum his son, Mibsam his son, Mishma his son. And the sons of Mishma: Hamuel his son, Zacchur his son, Shimei his son. And Shimei had sixteen sons and six daughters. But his brothers did not have many sons, and all their family did not multiply like the sons of Judah. And they lived at Beer-sheba, and Moladah, and Hazar-shual, and at Bilhah, and at Ezem, and at Tolad, and at Bethuel, and at Hormah, and at Ziklag, and at Beth-marcaboth, and Hazar-susim, and at Beth-birei, and at Shaaraim. These were their cities until the reign of David. And their villages were Etam, and Ain, Rimmon, and Tochen, and Ashan, five cities, and all their villages were around these cities, to Baal. These were their homes and their family line. And Meshobab, and Jamlech, and Joshah the son of Amaziah, and Joel, and Jehu the son of Josibiah, the son of Seraiah, the son of Asiel, and Elioenai, and Jaakobah, and Jeshohaiah, and Asaiah, and Adiel, and Jesimiel, and Benaiah, and Ziza the son of Shiphi, the son of Allon, the son of Jedaiah, the son of Shimri, the son of Shemaiah. These going by name were rulers in their families. And the house of their fathers increased greatly. And they went to the entrance of Gedor, to the east side of the valley, to look for pasture for their flocks. And they found fertile and good pasture, for the land was wide and quiet and peaceable. For some of the sons of Ham had lived there of old. And these written by name came in the days of Hezekiah king of Judah, and struck their tents, and the homes that were found there, and completely destroyed them until this day, and lived in their places, because there was pasture there for their flocks. And some of them, of the sons of Simeon, five hundred men went to Mount Seir, having for their captains Pelatiah, and Neariah, and Rephaiah, and Uzziel, the sons of Ishi. And they struck the rest which escaped to Amalek, and lived there until this day.
You have got to be kidding.
And the sons of Reuben, the first-born of Israel (for he was the first-born; but since he defiled his father’s bed, his birthright was given to the sons of Joseph the son of Israel, and the genealogy is not to be counted according to the birthright; For Judah prevailed among his brothers, and from him came the chief ruler, but the birthright was Joseph’s); the sons of Reuben the first-born of Israel: Hanoch, and Pallu, Hezron, and Carmi. The sons of Joel: Shemaiah his son, Gog his son, Shimei his son, Micah his son, Reaiah his son, Baal his son, Beerah his son, whom Tilgath-pilneser king of Assyria carried away. He was ruler of the men of Reuben. And his brothers by their families, in the genealogy of their generations: Jeiel the chief, and Zechariah, and Bela the son of Azaz, the son of Shema, the son of Joel, who lived in Aroer, even to Nebo and Baal-meon. And he lived as far to the east as the entrance of the wilderness from the river Euphrates, because their cattle were multiplied in the land of Gilead. And in the days of Saul they made war with the Hagarites, who fell by their hand. And they lived in their tents throughout all the east land of Gilead. And the sons of Gad lived opposite them, in the land of Bashan to Salchah Joel the chief, and Shapham the next, and Jaanai, and Shaphat in Bashan. And their brothers from the house of their fathers: Michael, and Meshullam, and Sheba, and Jorai, and Jachan, and Zia, and Heber, seven. These are the sons of Abihail the son of Huri, the son of Jaroah, the son of Gilead, the son of Michael, the son of Jeshishai, the son of Jahdo, the son of Buz, Ahi the son of Abdiel, the son of Guni, chief of the house of their fathers. And they lived in Gilead in Bashan, and in her towns, and in all the open lands of Sharon, on their borders. All these were counted by genealogies in the days of Jotham king of Judah, and in the days of Jeroboam king of Israel.
Didn’t we cover this already…twice.
The sons of Reuben, and the sons of Gad, and half the tribe of Manasseh, (sons of valor, men lifting up shield and sword, and to shoot with bow, and skillful in war), were forty-four thousand, seven hundred and sixty who went out to the war. And they made war with the Hagarites, with Jetur, and Nephish, and Nodab. And they were helped against them, and the Hagarites were delivered into their hand, and all who were with them. For they cried to God in the battle, and He was pleased to hear them, because they put their trust in Him. And they took away their cattle: of their camels, fifty thousand; and of sheep, two hundred fifty thousand, and of asses two thousand, and of men a hundred thousand. For many fell down slain, because the war was of God. And they lived in their places until the captivity. And the sons of the half tribe of Manasseh lived in the land. They increased from Bashan to Baal-hermon and Senir, and to Mount Hermon. And these were the heads of the house of their fathers, even Epher, and Ishi, and Eliel, and Azriel, and Jeremiah, and Hodaviah, and Jahdiel, mighty men of war, famous men, heads of the house of their fathers. And they sinned against the God of their fathers, and went lusting after the gods of the people of the land, whom God destroyed before them. And the God of Israel stirred up the spirit of Pul king of Assyria, and the spirit of Tilgath-pilneser king of Assyria. And he exiled them, the people of Reuben and the people of Gad, and the half tribe of Manasseh, and brought them to Halah, and Habor, and Hara, and to the river Gozan, to this day.
The sons of Levi: Gershon, Kohath, and Merari. And the sons of Kohath: Amram, Izhar, and Hebron, and Uzziel. And the sons of Amram: Aaron and Moses; and their sister Miriam. And the sons of Aaron: Nadab and Abihu, Eleazar and Ithamar. Eleazar fathered Phinehas. Phinehas fathered Abishua. And Abishua fathered Bukki. And Bukki fathered Uzzi. And Uzzi fathered Zerahiah. And Zerahiah fathered Meraioth. Meraioth fathered Amariah. And Amariah fathered Ahitub. And Ahitub fathered Zadok. And Zadok fathered Ahimaaz. And Ahimaaz fathered Azariah. And Azariah fathered Johanan. And Johanan fathered Azariah, he who acted in the priest’s office in the temple that Solomon built in Jerusalem. And Azariah fathered Amariah. And Amariah fathered Ahitub. And Ahitub fathered Zadok. And Zadok fathered Shallum. And Shallum fathered Hilkiah. And Hilkiah fathered Azariah. And Azariah fathered Seraiah. And Seraiah fathered Jehozadak. And Jehozadak went away when the LORD exiled Judah and Jerusalem by the hand of Nebuchadnezzar. The sons of Levi: Gershom, Kohath and Merari. And these are the names of the sons of Gershom: Libni and Shimei. And the sons of Kohath: Amram, and Izhar, and Hebron, and Uzziel. The sons of Merari: Mahli and Mushi. And these are the families of the Levites according to their fathers. The sons of Gershom: Libni his son, Jahath his son, Zimmah his son, Joah his son, Iddo his son, Zerah his son, Jeaterai his son. The sons of Kohath: Amminadab his son, Korah his son, Assir his son, Elkanah his son, and Ebiasaph his son, and Assir his son, Tahath his son, Uriel his son, Uzziah his son, and Shaul his son. And the sons of Elkanah: Amasai and Ahimoth. Elkanah; the sons of Elkanah: Zophai his son, and Nahath his son, Eliab his son, Jeroham his son, Elkanah his son. And the sons of Samuel: Joel, Vashni, the first-born, and Abijah. The sons of Merari: Mahli, Libni his son, Shimei his son, Uzziah his son, Shimea his son, Haggiah his son, Asaiah his son.
Over and over and over and over and over and over and over…
And these are the men whom David set over the service of song in the house of the LORD, after the ark had rest. And they ministered before the dwelling-place of the tabernacle of the congregation with singing, until Solomon had built the house of the LORD in Jerusalem. And they waited on their office according to their order. And these are the ones who waited with their sons. Of the sons of the Kohathites: Heman a singer, the son of Joel, the son of Samuel, the son of Elkanah, the son of Jeroham, the son of Eliel, the son of Toah, the son of Zuph, the son of Elkanah, the son of Mahath, the son of Amasai, the son of Elkanah, the son of Joel, the son of Azariah, the son of Zephaniah, the son of Tahath, the son of Assir, the son of Ebiasaph, the son of Korah, the son of Izhar, the son of Kohath, the son of Levi, the son of Israel. And his brother Asaph, who stood on his right hand, even Asaph the son of Berachiah, the son of Shimea, the son of Michael, the son of Baaseiah, the son of Malchiah, the son of Ethni, the son of Zerah, the son of Adaiah, the son of Ethan, the son of Zimmah, the son of Shimei, the son of Jahath, the son of Gershom, the son of Levi. And their brothers the sons of Merari stood on the left hand: Ethan the son of Kishi, the son of Abdi, the son of Malluch, the son of Hashabiah, the son of Amaziah, the son of Hilkiah, the son of Amzi, the son of Bani, the son of Shamer, the son of Mahli, the son of Mushi, the son of Merari, the son of Levi. And their brothers, the Levites, were appointed for all kinds of service of the tabernacle of the house of God. But Aaron and his sons offered on the altar of the burnt offering, and on the altar of incense, and were appointed for all the work of the Most Holy Place, and to make an atonement for Israel, according to all that Moses the servant of God had commanded. And these are the sons of Aaron: Eleazar his son, Phinehas his son, Abishua his son, Bukki his son, Uzzi his son, Zerahiah his son, Meraioth his son, Amariah his son, Ahitub his son, Zadok his son, Ahimaaz his son.
Fuck this shit. This book is unreadable. I challenge you to use this as a sermon, I dare you, I fucking double dog dare you.
And these are their dwelling-places throughout their camps, within their borders, of the sons of Aaron, of the families of the Kohathites, for the lot was theirs. And they gave them Hebron in the land of Judah, and its open lands all around it. But the fields of the city, and its villages, they gave to Caleb the son of Jephunneh. And to the sons of Aaron they gave the cities of refuge: Hebron, and Libnah with its open lands, and Jattir, and Eshtemoa with their open lands, and Hilen with its open lands, Debir with its open lands, and Ashan with its open lands, and Beth-shemesh with its open lands. And out of the tribe of Benjamin: Geba with its open lands, and Alemeth with its open lands, and Anathoth with its open lands. All their cities throughout their families were thirteen cities. And to the sons of Kohath left of the family of that tribe, cities were given out of the half tribe, the half of Manasseh, by lot, ten cities. And to the sons of Gershom throughout their families, out of the tribe of Issachar, and out of the tribe of Asher, and out of the tribe of Naphtali, and out of the tribe of Manasseh in Bashan, thirteen cities. And to the sons of Merari were given by lot, throughout their families, out of the tribe of Reuben, and out of the tribe of Gad, and out of the tribe of Zebulun, twelve cities. And the sons of Israel gave these cities to the Levites, with their open lands. And they gave these cities which are called by their names, out of the tribe of the sons of Judah, and out of the tribe of the sons of Simeon, and out of the tribe of the sons of Benjamin. And some of the families of the sons of Kohath had cities of their borders out of the tribe of Ephraim. And they gave to them for the cities of refuge, Shechem in Mount Ephraim, with its open lands, also Gezer with its open lands, and Jokmeam with its open lands, and Beth-horon with its open lands, and Aijalon with its open lands, and Gath-rimmon with its open lands. And out of the half tribe of Manasseh: Aner with its open lands, and Bileam with its open lands, for the family of the rest of the sons of Kohath. To the sons of Gershom were given out of the family of the half tribe of Manasseh, Golan in Bashan with its open lands, and Ashtaroth with its open lands. And out of the tribe of Issachar, Kedesh with its open lands, Daberath with its open lands, and Ramoth with its open lands, and Anem with its open lands were given. And out of the tribe of Asher: Mashal with its open lands, and Abdon with its open lands, and Hukok with its open lands, and Rehob with its open lands. And out of the tribe of Naphtali, Kedesh in Galilee with its open lands, and Hammon with its open lands, and Kirjath-aim with its open lands. To the rest of the sons of Merari were given out of the tribe of Zebulun, Rimmon with its open lands, Tabor with its open lands. And on the other side Jordan by Jericho, on the east side of Jordan: out of the tribe of Reuben, Bezer in the wilderness, with its open lands, and Jahzah with its open lands, and Kedemoth with its open lands, and Mephaath with its open lands. And out of the tribe of Gad they gave Ramoth in Gilead with its open lands, and Mahanaim with its open lands, and Heshbon with its open lands, and Jazer with its open lands.
Perfect book, direct from God. Yeah…sure.
And the sons of Issachar: Tola, and Puah, and Jashub, and Shimron, four. And the sons of Tola: Uzzi, and Rephaiah, and Jeriel, and Jahmai, and Jibsam, and Shemuel, heads of their fathers house, these to Tola, great men of might in their generations. Their number in the days of David was twenty-two thousand and six hundred. And the son of Uzzi was Izrahiah. And the sons of Izrahiah: Michael, and Obadiah, and Joel, Ishiah, five. All of them chiefs. And with them, by their generations, after the house of their fathers, were bands of soldiers for war, thirty-six thousand men. For they had many wives and sons. And their brothers among all the families of Issachar were great men of might, being in all, by their genealogies, eighty-seven thousand. The sons of Benjamin: Bela, and Becher, and Jediael, three. And the sons of Bela: Ezbon, and Uzzi, and Uzziel, and Jerimoth, and Iri, five heads of their fathers’ house, mighty men of valor. And their genealogy, twenty-two thousand and thirty-four. And the sons of Becher: Zemira, and Joash, and Eliezer, and Elioenai, and Omri, and Jerimoth, and Abiah, and Anathoth, and Alameth. All these were the sons of Becher. And their genealogy by their generations, heads of their fathers’ house, mighty men of valor, twenty thousand and two hundred. And the son of Jediael was Bilhan. And the sons of Bilhan: Jeush, and Benjamin, and Ehud, and Chenaanah, and Zethan, and Tarshish, and Ahishahar. All these were the sons of Jediael, by the heads of their fathers, mighty men of valor, seventeen thousand and two hundred men, going out to war for battle. And Shuppim, and Huppim, the sons of Ir, and Hushim, the sons of Aher. The sons of Naphtali: Jahziel, and Guni, and Jezer, and Shallum, the sons of Bilhah. The sons of Manasseh: Ashriel, the son born to his Syrian concubine with Machir the father of Gilead, and Machir took a wife for Huppim and for Shuppim; and the name of his sister was Maachah. And the name of the second was Zelophehad. And Zelophehad had daughters. And Maachah the wife of Machir bore a son, and she called his name Peresh. And the name of his brother was Sheresh, and his sons were Ulam and Rakem. And the son of Ulam was Bedan. These were the sons of Gilead, the son of Machir, the son of Manasseh. And his sister Hammoleketh bore Ishod, and Abiezer, and Mahalah. And the sons of Shemida: Ahian, and Shechem, and Likhi, and Ahiam.
Not only is this boring, but I think it is a repeat as well. Skimming.
And the sons of Ephraim: Shuthelah, and Bered his son, and Tahath his son, and Eladah his son, and Tahath his son, and Zabad his son, and Shuthelah his son, and Ezer, and Elead. And the men of Gath, natives in the land, killed them because they came down to take away their cattle. And Ephraim their father mourned many days, and his brothers came to comfort him. And he went in to his wife, and she conceived and bore a son, and he called his name Beriah, because it went evil with his house. And his daughter was Sherah, who built Beth-horon the lower, and the upper, and Uzzen-sherah. And Rephah was his son, also Resheph, and Telah his son, and Tahan his son, Laadan his son, Ammihud his son, Elishama his son, Non his son; Jehoshua his son. And their possessions and habitations: Bethel and its towns, and eastward to Naaran, and westward to Gezer, with its towns; and Shechem and its towns, to Gaza and its towns. And by the borders of the sons of Manasseh: Beth-shean and its towns, Taanach and its towns, Megiddo and its towns, Dor and its towns. In these lived the sons of Joseph, the son of Israel. The sons of Asher: Imnah, and Ishuah, and Ishuai, and Beriah; and Serah their sister. And the sons of Beriah: Heber, and Malchiel; he is the father of Birzavith. And Heber fathered Japhlet, and Shomer, and Hotham, and Shua their sister. And the sons of Japhlet: Pasach, and Bimhal, and Ashvath. These are the sons of Japhlet. And the sons of Shamer: Ahi, and Rohgah, Jehubbah, and Aram. And the sons of his brother Helem: Zophah, and Imna, and Shelesh, and Amal. The sons of Zophah: Suah, and Harnepher, and Shual, and Beri, and Imrah, Bezer, and Hod, and Shamma, and Shilshah, and Ithran, and Beera. And the sons of Jether: Jephunneh, and Pispah, and Ara. And the sons of Ulla: Arah, and Haniel, and Rezia. All these were the sons of Asher, heads of their fathers’ house, choice, mighty warriors, heads of the rulers. And their enrollment in the warfare in the battle, their number was twenty-six thousand men.
Just like a boring mashup of Samuel and Numbers…over and over and over.
And Benjamin fathered Bela his first-born, Ashbel the second, and Aharah the third, Nohah the fourth, and Rapha the fifth. And the sons of Bela: Addar, and Gera, and Abihud, and Abishua, and Naaman, and Ahoah, and Gera, and Shephuphan, and Huram. And these are the sons of Ehud, these are the heads of the fathers of the people of Geba; and they exiled them to Manahath. And Naaman and Ahiah and Gera, he exiled them. And Ehud fathered Uzza and Ahihud. And Shaharaim fathered sons in the land of Moab, after he had sent them away. Hushim and Baara were his wives. And by his wife Hodesh, were Jobab, and Zibia, and Mesha, and Malcham, and Jeuz, and Shachia, and Mirma. These were his sons, heads of the fathers. And by Hushim he had Abitub, and Elpaal. The sons of Elpaal were Eber, and Misham, and Shamed, who built Ono and Lod, with their towns. And Beriah and Shema were heads of the fathers of the people of Aijalon, who drove away the people of Gath; and Ahio, Shashak, and Jeremoth, and Zebadiah, and Arad, and Ader, and Michael, and Ispah, and Joha, the sons of Beriah. And Zebadiah, and Meshullam, and Hezeki, and Heber, Ishmerai also, and Jezliah, and Jobab were the sons of Elpaal. And Jakim, and Zichri, and Zabdi, and Elienai, and Zilthai, and Eliel, and Adaiah, and Beraiah, and Shimrath were the sons of Shimhi. And Ishpan, and Heber, and Eliel, and Abdon, and Zichri, and Hanan, and Hananiah, and Elam, and Antothijah and Iphedeiah, and Penuel were the sons of Shashak. And Shamsherai, and Shehariah, and Athaliah, and Jaresiah, and Eliah, and Zichri were the sons of Jeroham. These were heads of the fathers, by their generations, chiefs. These lived in Jerusalem. And at Gibeon lived the father of Gibeon, whose wife’s name was Maachah. And his first-born son was Abdon, and Zur, and Kish, and Baal, and Nadab, and Gedor, and Ahio, and Zacher. And Mikloth fathered Shimeah. And these also lived with their brothers in Jerusalem, across from them.
And Ner fathered Kish, and Kish fathered Saul. And Saul fathered Jonathan, and Malchishua and Abinadab, and Eshbaal. And the son of Jonathan was Meribbaal. And Meribbaal fathered Micah. And the sons of Micah: Pithon, and Melech, and Tarea, and Ahaz. And Ahaz fathered Jehoadah. And Jehoadah fathered Alemeth, and Azmaveth, and Zimri. And Zimri fathered Moza. And Moza fathered Binea; Rapha was his son, Eleasah his son, Azel his son. And Azel had six sons, and these their names: Azrikam, Bocheru, and Ishmael, and Sheariah, and Obadiah, and Hanan. All these were the sons of Azel. And the sons of Eshek his brother: Ulam his first-born; Jehush, the second; and Eliphelet, the third. And the sons of Ulam were mighty men, archers, and had many sons, and sons’ sons, a hundred and fifty. All these were the sons of Benjamin.
So all Israel enrolled themselves. And behold, they were written in the book of the kings of Israel. And Judah was exiled to Babylon for their sins. And the first people in their possessions in their cities were the Israelites, the priests, Levites, and the temple slaves. And in Jerusalem lived of the sons of Judah, and of the sons of Benjamin, and of the sons of Ephraim, and Manasseh: Uthai the son of Ammihud, the son of Omri, the son of Imri, the son of Bani, of the sons of Pharez the son of Judah. And of the Shilonites, Asaiah the first-born and his sons. And of the sons of Zerah, Jeuel, and their brothers, six hundred and ninety. And of the sons of Benjamin, Sallu the son of Meshullam, the son of Hodaviah, the son of Hasenuah, and Ibneiah the son of Jeroham, and Elah the son of Uzzi, the son of Michri, and Meshullam the son of Shephathiah, the son of Reuel, the son of Ibnijah, and their brothers, according to their generations, nine hundred and fifty-six. All these men were chief of the fathers to their fathers’ house. And of the priests, Jedaiah, and Jehoiarib, and Jachin, and Azariah the son of Hilkiah, the son of Meshullam, the son of Zadok, the son of Meraioth, the son of Ahitub, the ruler of the house of God, and Adaiah the son of Jeroham, the son of Pashur, the son of Malchijah, and Maasiai the son of Adiel, the son of Jahzerah, the son of Meshullam, the son of Meshillemith, the son of Immer, and their brothers, heads of their fathers’ house, seventeen hundred and sixty very able men for the work of the service of the house of God.
And of the Levites: Shemaiah the son of Hasshub, the son of Azrikam, the son of Hashabiah, of the sons of Merari, and Bakbakkar, Heresh, and Galal, and Mattaniah the son of Micah, the son of Zichri, the son of Asaph, and Obadiah the son of Shemaiah, the son of Galal, the son of Jeduthun, and Berechiah the son of Asa, the son of Elkanah, who lived in the villages of the Netophathites. And the gatekeepers were Shallum, and Akkub, and Talmon, and Ahiman; and their brothers, Shallum was the chief. And before they were at the king’s gate eastward, they were gatekeepers in the companies of the sons of Levi. And Shallum the son of Kore, the son of Ebiasaph, the son of Korah, and his brothers, of the house of his father, the Korahites, were over the work of the service, keepers of the gates of the tabernacle. And their fathers were over the army of the LORD, keepers of the entry. And Phinehas the son of Eleazar was the ruler over them in time past, and the LORD was with him. Zechariah the son of Meshelemiah was gatekeeper of the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. All these chosen for gatekeepers in the gates were two hundred and twelve. These by their genealogies, in their villages, were the ones David and Samuel the seer ordained in their set office. So they and their sons were over the gates of the house of the LORD, the house of the tabernacle, by watches. The gatekeepers were to the four quarters, toward the east, west, north, and south. And their brothers in their villages, were to come in for seven days from time to time with them. For they were in faithfulness, the four chief gatekeepers; they were Levites, and were over the rooms, and over the treasuries of the house of God. And they lived around the house of God, because the duty was on them. And they were to open it morning by morning. And certain of them were over the ministering vessels, that they should bring them in and out by count. Some of them also were appointed to oversee the vessels and all the instruments of the sanctuary, and the fine flour, and the wine, and the oil, and the frankincense, and the spices. And some of the sons of the priests made the ointment of the spices. And Mattithiah, of the Levites, who was the first-born of Shallum the Korahite, was faithful over the work of the pans. And others of the sons of the Kohathites, from among their brothers, were over the showbread, to prepare sabbath by sabbath. And these were the singers, chief of the fathers of the Levites in the chambers, they were free of duty, for they were employed in that work day and night. These chief fathers of the Levites were chief throughout their generations. These lived at Jerusalem.
Who gives a shit? The Bible skims over the origin of the universe, life, and man, and we talk about fucking fine flour, dozens of times.
And Jehiel, the father of Gibeon, lived in Gibeon. His wife’s name was Maachah. And his first-born son was Abdon, then Zur, and Kish, and Baal, and Ner, and Nadab, and Gedor, and Ahio, and Zechariah, and Mikloth. And Mikloth fathered Shimeam. And they also dwelt with their brothers at Jerusalem, across from their brothers. And Ner fathered Kish. And Kish fathered Saul. And Saul fathered Jonathan, and Malchishua, and Abinadab, and Eshbaal. And the son of Jonathan was Meribbaal. And Meribbaal fathered Micah. And the sons of Micah: Pithon, and Melech, and Tahrea, and Ahaz; and Ahaz; fathered Jarah. And Jarah fathered Alemeth, and Azmaveth, and Zimri. And Zimri fathered Moza. And Moza fathered Binea; and Rephaiah was his son; Eleasah, his son; Azel his son. And to Azel were six sons, and these their names: Azrikam, Bocheru, and Ishmael, and Sheariah, and Obadiah, and Hanan. These were the sons of Azel.
13 pages of single spaced, 12 point font, of all genealogy.
And the Philistines fought with Israel. And the men of Israel fled from the face of the Philistines, and fell down dead in Mount Gilboa. And the Philistines followed hard after Saul and after his sons. And the Philistines killed Jonathan and Abinadab, and Malchishua, the sons of Saul. And the battle went sorely against Saul. And the archers hit him, and he was wounded by the archers. And Saul said to his armor-bearer, Draw your sword and pierce me with it, lest these uncircumcised ones come and abuse me. But his armor-bearer would not, for he was very much afraid. So Saul took a sword and fell on it. And his armor-bearer saw that Saul was dead, and he also fell on the sword and died. And Saul and his three sons died, and all his house died together. And all the men of Israel in the valley saw that they fled, and that Saul and his sons had died. And they left their cities and fled. And the Philistines came and lived in them.
Rehash of Samuel.
And it happened on the next day, when the Philistines came to strip the dead, and they found Saul and his sons fallen in Mount Gilboa. And they stripped him, and carried his head and his armor, and sent into the land of the Philistines all around, to carry news to their idols and to the people. And they put his armor in the house of their gods, and fastened his skull in the temple of Dagon. And all Jabesh-gilead heard all that the Philistines had done to Saul. And all the mighty men arose and took away the body of Saul, and the bodies of his sons, and brought them to Jabesh. And they buried their bones under the oak in Jabesh, and fasted seven days. And Saul died for his sin which he committed against the LORD, against the word of the LORD, which he did not keep, and also for seeking of a medium, to inquire, and inquired not of the LORD. And He killed him and turned the kingdom to David the son of Jesse.
Rehash of Samuel
And all Israel gathered to David, to Hebron, saying, Behold, we are your bone and your flesh. And also in time past, even when Saul was king, you were the one who led out and brought in Israel. And the LORD your God said to you, You shall feed My people Israel, and you shall be ruler over My people Israel. And all the elders of Israel came to the king to Hebron. And David made a covenant with them in Hebron before the LORD. And they anointed David king over Israel, according to the word of the LORD by Samuel. And David and all Israel went to Jerusalem, which is Jebus, where the Jebusites were the people of the land. And the people of Jebus said to David, You shall not come in here. But David took the stronghold of Zion, which is the city of David. And David said, Whoever strikes the Jebusites first shall be chief and captain. And Joab the son of Zeruiah went up first and was chief. And David lived in the stronghold. Therefore they called it the city of David. And he built the city all around, even from Millo all around. And Joab repaired the rest of the city. And David became greater and greater, for the LORD of hosts was with him.
Rehash of Samuel
And these were the chief of the mighty men whom David had, making themselves strong with him in his kingdom, with all Israel to make him king, according to the word of the LORD concerning Israel. And this is the number of the mighty men whom David had: Jashobeam, a Hachmonite, the chief of the captains. He lifted up his spear against three hundred, who were killed by him at one time. And after him was Eleazar the son of Dodo, the Ahohite, he was one of the three mighty ones. He was with David at Pas-dammim. And there the Philistines were gathered together to battle and a portion of the field was full of barley. And the people fled from before the Philistines. And they set themselves in the midst of that place, and delivered it, and killed the Philistines. And the LORD saved them by a great deliverance. And three of the mighty captains went down to the rock to David, into the cave of Adullam. And the Philistine army camped in the Valley of the Giants. And David was then in the stronghold, and the Philistines garrison was then at Bethlehem. And David longed and said, Oh that someone would give me drink from the water of the well of Bethlehem, which was by the gate! And the three broke through the Philistine army and drew water out of the well of Bethlehem by the gate, and took it, and brought it to David. But David would not drink it, but poured it out to the LORD. And he said, May my God forbid me to do this thing. Shall I drink the blood of these men who have put their lives in danger? For they brought it with their lives. And he was not willing to drink it. These three mighty ones did these things. And Abishai the brother of Joab was chief of the three. For lifting up his spear against three hundred, he killed them, and had a name among the three. Of the three, he was more honorable than the two for he was their captain. However, he did not attain the first three. Benaiah the son of Jehoiada, the son of a mighty man of Kabzeel, had done many acts. He killed two lion-like men of Moab. He also went down and killed a lion in a pit on a snowy day. And he killed an Egyptian, a man of stature, five cubits high. And in the Egyptian’s hand was a spear like a weaver’s beam. And he went down to him with a staff and wrenched the spear out of the Egyptians hand, and killed him with his own spear. These things Benaiah the son of Jehoiada did, and had the name among the three mighty ones. Behold, he was honorable among the thirty, but did not attain the first three. And David set him over his court. And the mighty ones of the army: Asahel the brother of Joab, Elhanan the son of Dodo of Bethlehem, Shammoth the Harorite, Helez the Pelonite, Ira the son of Ikkesh the Tekoite, Ahiezer the Anathothite, Sibbecai the Hushathite, Ilai the Ahohite, Maharai the Netophathite, Heled the son of Baanah the Netophathite, Ithai a son of Ribai of Gibeah of the sons of Benjamin, Benaiah the Pirathonite, Hurai of the brooks of Gaash, Abiel the Arbathite, Azmaveth the Baharumite, Eliahba the Shaalbonite, the sons of Hashem the Gizonite, Jonathan the son of Shage the Hararite, Ahiam the son of Sacar the Hararite, Eliphal the son of Ur, Hepher the Mecherathite, Ahijah the Pelonite, Hezro of Carmel, Naarai the son of Ezbai, Joel the brother of Nathan, Mibhar the son of Haggeri, Zelek the Ammonite, Naharai the Berothite, the armor-bearer of Joab the son of Zeruiah, Ira the Ithrite, Gareb the Ithrite, Uriah the Hittite, Zabad the son of Ahlai, Adina the son of Shiza the Reubenite, a captain of the Reubenites, and thirty with him, Hanan the son of Maachah, and Joshaphat the Mithnite, Uzzia the Ashterathite, Shama and Jehiel the sons of Hothan the Aroerite, Jediael the son of Shimri, and Joha his brother, the Tizite, Eliel the Mahavite, and Jeribai, and Joshaviah, sons of Elnaam, and Ithmah the Moabite, Eliel, and Obed, and Jasiel the Mesobaite.
No one reads this.
And these were the ones who came to David to Ziklag, while banned from the face of Saul the son of Kish. And they were among the mighty men, helpers of the war, right and left-handed, armed with bows, with stones, and with arrows, with the bow from the brothers of Saul, of Benjamin The chief was Ahiezer, and Joash, the sons of Shemaah the Gibeathite, and Jeziel, and Pelet, the sons of Azmaveth, and Berachah, and Jehu of Anathoth and Ismaiah the Gibeonite, a mighty man among the thirty, and over the thirty, and Jeremiah, and Jahaziel, and Johanan, and Josabad the Gederathite, Eluzai, and Jerimoth, and Bealiah, and Shemariah, and Shephatiah the Haruphite, Elkanah, and Jesiah, and Azareel, and Joezer, and Jashobeam, the Korhites, and Joelah, and Zebadiah, the sons of Jeroham of Gedor. And of the Gadites mighty men separated themselves to David into the stronghold in the wilderness, men of the army for battle, setting in order shield and buckler, and their faces were the faces of a lion, and as gazelles on the heights for swiftness: Ezer the first, Obadiah the second, Eliab the third, Mishmannah the fourth, Jeremiah the fifth, Attai the sixth, Eliel the seventh, Johanan the eighth, Elzabad the ninth, Jeremiah the tenth, Machbanai the eleventh. These were the sons of Gad, captains of the army. One of the least was over a hundred, and the greatest over a thousand. These were they who went over Jordan in the first month, when it had overflowed all its banks. And they put all those of the valleys to flight, toward the east and toward the west. And some of the sons of Benjamin and Judah came to the stronghold to David. And David went out to meet them, and answered and said to them, If you have come to me in peace, to help me, my heart shall be knit to you. But if you come to betray me to my enemies, since there is no wrong in my hands, let the God of our fathers look on it and rebuke it. And the Spirit came on Amasai, chief of the Thirty. And he said, We are yours, David, and on your side, son of Jesse. Peace, peace be on you, and peace on your helpers. For your God has helped you. And David received them and made them captains of the band. And some from Manasseh fell to David when he came with the Philistines to battle against Saul. (But they did not help them. For the lords of the Philistines sent him away on advice, saying, He will fall to his master Saul with our heads.) As he went to Ziklag, there fell to him these from Manasseh, Adnah, and Jozabad, and Jediael, and Michael, and Jozabad, and Elihu, and Zillethai, captains of the thousands who were from Manasseh. And they helped David against the band, for they were all mighty men of power, and were commanders in the army. For at that time they came to David day by day to help him, until it was a great army, like an army of God.
And these were the numbers of the chiefs of those armed for war who came to David to Hebron, to turn the kingdom of Saul to him, according to the word of the Lord. The sons of Judah bearing shield and spear were six thousand and eight hundred, armed for war. From the sons of Simeon the mighty men of power for the war, seven thousand and one hundred. From the sons of Levi were four thousand and six hundred. And Jehoiada was the leader of the Aaronites, and with him were three thousand and seven hundred. And Zadok, a young man mighty in power, and of his fathers’ house were twenty-two captains. And the sons of Benjamin, the kindred of Saul were three thousand. And before, the most of them had kept their allegiance to the house of Saul. And of the sons of Ephraim were twenty thousand and eight hundred, mighty men of valor, famous throughout the house of their fathers. And from the half tribe of Manasseh were eighteen thousand, who were chosen by name to come and make David king. And from the sons of Issachar, men who had understanding of the times, to know what Israel ought to do, the heads of them were two hundred. And all their brothers were at their command. From Zebulun, such as went forth to battle, expert in war, with all the weapons of war, fifty thousand who could keep rank. They were not of a double heart. And from Naphtali, a thousand captains; and with them with shield and spear were thirty-seven thousand. And of the Danites, expert in war, were twenty-eight thousand, six hundred. And of Asher, going out to the army to set in order the battle were forty thousand. And on the other side of Jordan, from the Reubenites, and of the Gadites, and from the half tribe of Manasseh, with all of the weapons of war for battle were a hundred and twenty thousand. All these were men of war, keeping rank, they came with a perfect heart to Hebron, to make David king over Israel. And also all the rest of Israel was of one heart to make David king. And they were with David three days, eating and drinking. For their brothers had prepared food for them. And also those who were near them, even to Issachar and Zebulun and Naphtali, brought bread on asses, and on camels, and on mules, and on oxen. And they brought food, meal, cakes of figs and bunches of raisins, and wine and oil, and oxen and sheep abundantly. For there was joy in Israel.
Organization chart…with the menu of the brunch they ate that day.
And David consulted with the captains of thousands and hundreds, with every leader. And David said to all the congregation of Israel, If it is good to you, and if it has broken forth from the LORD our God, let us send to our brothers, those remaining in all the lands of Israel, and with them to the priests and Levites in their cities that they be gathered to us. And let us bring again the ark of our God to us. For we did not inquire at it in the days of Saul. And all the congregation said to do so, for the thing was right in the eyes of all the people. And David gathered all Israel together, from Shihor of Egypt even to the entering of Hamath, to bring the ark of God from Kirjath-jearim. And David and all Israel went up to Baalah, to Kirjath-jearim of Judah, to bring up from there the ark of God the LORD, He who dwells between the cherubs, whose name is called on it. And they carried the ark of God in a new cart out of the house of Abinadab. And Uzza and Ahio led the cart. And David and all Israel played before God with all their might, and with singing, and with lyres, and with harps, and with timbrels, and with cymbals, and with trumpets.
Why is this book in the Bible? It is a complete rehash of what we have already read.
And when they came to the threshing-floor of Chidon, Uzza put out his hand to hold the ark for the oxen stumbled. And the anger of the LORD was kindled against Uzza, and He struck him because he put his hand to the ark. And he died there before the LORD. And David was displeased because the LORD had made a break on Uzza. And he called that place The Breach of Uzza to this day. And David was afraid of God that day, saying, How shall I bring the ark of God to me? And David did not bring the ark to himself to the City of David, but carried it aside into the house of Obed-edom the Gittite. And the ark of God remained with the family of Obed-edom in his house three months. And the LORD blessed the house of Obed-edom and all that he had.
Read this already in Samuel.
And Hiram king of Tyre sent messengers to David, and timbers of cedars, with masons and carpenters, to build him a house. And David saw that the LORD had confirmed him king over Israel, for his kingdom was lifted on high, because of His people Israel. And David took more wives at Jerusalem. And David fathered more sons and daughters. And these were the names of the children whom he had in Jerusalem: Shammua, and Shobab, Nathan, and Solomon, and Ibhar, and Elishua, and Elpalet, and Nogah, and Nepheg, and Japhia, and Elishama, and Beeliada, and Eliphalet.
And the Philistines heard that David was anointed king over all Israel, and all the Philistines went up to seek David. And David heard, and went out against them. And the Philistines came and spread themselves in the Valley of the Giants. And David asked of God, saying, Shall I go up against the Philistines? And will You deliver them into my hand? And the LORD said to him, Go up, for I will deliver them into your hand. And they came up to Baal-perazim. And David struck them there. Then David said, God has broken in on my enemies by my hand like the breaking forth of waters. Therefore they called the name of that place The Breaking of Baal. And they left their gods there. And David commanded, and they were burned with fire. And the Philistines still again made a raid in the valley. And David asked again of God. And God said to him, Do not go up after them. Turn away from them, and come on them over against the weeping trees. And it shall be, when you hear a sound of marching in the tops of the weeping trees, then you shall go out to battle. For God has gone forth before you to strike the army of the Philistines. And David did as God commanded him. And they struck the army of the Philistines from Gibeon to Gezer. And the name of David went out into all lands. And the LORD brought the fear of him on all nations.
Read this already.
And David made houses for himself in the City of David, and prepared a place for the ark of God, and pitched a tent for it. Then David said, No one ought to carry the ark of God except the Levites, for God has chosen them to carry the ark of God, and to minister to Him forever. And David gathered all Israel together to Jerusalem, to bring up the ark of the LORD to its place which He had prepared for it. And David gathered the sons of Aaron, and the Levites. From the sons of Kohath: Uriel the chief, and a hundred and twenty of his brothers. From the sons of Merari: Asaiah the chief, and two hundred and twenty of his brothers. From the sons of Gershom: Joel the chief, and a hundred and thirty of his brothers. From the sons of Elizaphan: Shemaiah the chief and two hundred of his brothers. From the sons of Hebron: Eliel the chief and eighty of his brothers. From the sons of Uzziel: Amminadab the chief and a hundred and twelve of his brothers. And David called for Zadok and Abiathar the priests, and for the Levites, for Uriel, Asaiah, and Joel, Shemaiah, and Eliel, and Amminadab. And he said to them, You are the heads of the fathers of the Levites. Sanctify yourselves, you and your brothers, so that you may bring up the ark of the LORD God of Israel to the place which I have prepared for it. For because you did not do it at the first, the LORD our God made a break on us, since we did not seek Him in due order. And the priests and the Levites made themselves pure in order to bring up the ark of the LORD God of Israel. And the sons of the Levites carried the ark of God on their shoulders, with the staves on it, as Moses commanded according to the word of the LORD. And David spoke to the chief of the Levites to choose their brothers to be the singers with instruments of music, lyres, and harps, and cymbals, sounding by lifting the voice with joy. And the Levites chose Heman the son of Joel, and of his brothers, Asaph the son of Berechiah. And from the sons of Merari their brothers, was Ethan the son of Kushaiah. And with them were their brothers of the second degree, Zechariah, Ben, and Jaaziel, and Shemiramoth, and Jehiel, and Unni, Eliab, and Benaiah, and Maaseiah, and Mattithiah, and Elipheleh, and Mikneiah, and Obed-edom, and Jeiel, the gatekeepers. And the singers, Heman, Asaph, and Ethan were chosen to sound with cymbals of bronze; and Zechariah, and Aziel, and Shemiramoth, and Jehiel, and Unni, and Eliab, and Maaseiah, and Benaiah, with harps set to Alamoth. And Mattithiah, and Elipheleh, and Mikneiah, and Obed-edom, and Jeiel, and Azaziah, were to lead with lyres on the octave. And Chenaniah, chief of the Levites, was for song. He instructed about the song, because he was skillful. And Berechiah and Elkanah were gatekeepers for the ark. And Shebaniah, and Jehoshaphat, and Nethaneel, and Amasai, and Zechariah, and Benaiah, and Eliezer, the priests, blew with the trumpets before the ark of God. And Obed-edom and Jehiah were gatekeepers for the ark.
Read this already. Also, fucking stupid.
And it happened, David and the elders of Israel, and the captains over thousands, went to bring up the ark of the covenant of the LORD out of the house of Obed-edom with joy. And it happened as God helped the Levites who bore the ark of the covenant of the LORD, they offered seven bulls and seven rams. And David was clothed with a robe of fine linen, and all the Levites who carried the ark, and the singers, and Chenaniah the master of the song with the singers. David also had on him an ephod of linen. And all Israel brought up the ark of the covenant of the LORD with shouting, and with sound of the cornet, and with trumpets, and with cymbals, sounding aloud with harps and lyres. And it happened as the ark of the covenant of the LORD came to the City of David, Michal the daughter of Saul, looking out a window, saw king David dancing and playing. And she despised him in her heart.
Read this already. Same, stupid David dance.
And they brought the ark of God and set it in the middle of the tent which David had pitched for it. And they offered burnt sacrifices and peace offerings before God. And when David had made an end of offering the burnt offering and the peace offerings, he blessed the people in the name of the LORD. And he divided to every one of Israel, both man and woman, to every one a loaf of bread and a portion, and a raisin cake. And he appointed certain of the Levites to minister before the ark of the LORD, and to record, and to thank and praise the LORD God of Israel: Asaph the chief, and next to him Zechariah, Jeiel, and Shemiramoth, and Jehiel, and Mattithiah, and Eliab, and Benaiah, and Obed-edom. And Jeiel praised with instruments of harps and with lyres; and Asaph made a sound with cymbals. Also Benaiah and Jahaziel the priests praised with trumpets continually before the ark of the covenant of God.
Read this already.
Then on that day David first delivered this psalm into the hand of Asaph and his brothers in order to thank the LORD: Give thanks to the LORD, call on His name, make known His deeds among the people. Sing to Him, sing psalms to Him, talk of all His wondrous works. Glory in His holy name, let the heart of those who seek the LORD rejoice. Seek the LORD and His strength; seek His face continually. Remember His marvelous works which He had done, His wonders, and the judgments of His mouth, O seed of Israel His servant, sons of Jacob, His chosen ones. He is the LORD our God. His judgments are in all the earth. Be always mindful of His covenant, the word He commanded to a thousand generations, which He made with Abraham, and of His oath to Isaac. And He has confirmed the saying to Jacob for a law, to Israel for an everlasting covenant, saying, To you will I give the land of Canaan, the lot of your inheritance, when you were but few, even a few, and strangers in it, and they went from nation to nation, and from one kingdom to another people, He did not allow any man to do them wrong. Yea, He reproved kings for their sakes, saying, Touch not My anointed, and do My prophets no harm. Sing to the LORD, all the earth. Show forth from day to day His salvation. Declare His glory among the heathen, His marvelous works among all nations. For great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised. He also is to be feared above all gods. For all the gods of the peoples are idols, but the LORD made the heavens. Glory and honor are in His presence, strength and gladness in His place. Give to the LORD, O kindred of the people, give to the LORD glory and strength. Give to the LORD the glory of His name; bring an offering and come before Him. Worship the LORD in the beauty of holiness. Tremble before Him, all the earth. Yea, the earth is established, it shall not be moved. Let the heavens be glad, and let the earth rejoice. And let them say among the nations, The LORD reigns. Let the sea roar, and the fullness of it. Let the fields rejoice, and all that is in them. Then shall the trees of the forest sing out at the presence of the LORD, because He comes to judge the earth. O give thanks to the LORD, for He is good, for His mercy endures forever. And say, Save us, O God of our salvation, and gather us, and deliver us from the nations, so that we may give thanks to Your holy name, and glory in Your praise. Blessed be the LORD God of Israel forever and ever. And all the people said, Amen, and praised the LORD.
Read this already.
And he left there before the ark of the covenant of the LORD, for Asaph and his brothers, to minister before the ark continually, as every day’s work required; also Obed-edom, with their brothers, sixty-eight; and Obed-edom, the son of Jeduthun and Hosah to be gatekeepers. And he left Zadok the priest and his brothers the priests before the tabernacle of the LORD in the high place at Gibeon, to offer burnt offerings to the LORD on the altar of the burnt offering morning and evening without end, and to do according to all that is written in the law of the LORD which He commanded Israel. And he left with them Heman and Jeduthun, and the rest who were chosen, who were called by name, to give thanks to the LORD, because His mercy endures forever. And with them were Heman and Jeduthun with trumpets and cymbals for those making a sound, and with musical instruments of God. And the sons of Jeduthun were gatekeepers. And all the people departed, each man to his house. And David returned to bless his house.
Read this already.
And it happened as David sat in his house, David said to Nathan the prophet, Lo, I dwell in a house of cedars, but the ark of the covenant of the LORD is under curtains. And Nathan said to David, Do all that is in your heart, for God is with you. And it happened the same night the word of God came to Nathan, saying, Go and tell David My servant, So says the LORD, You shall not build Me a house to dwell in. For I have not dwelt in a house since the day that I brought up Israel until today, but have gone from tent to tent, and from one tabernacle to another. Wherever I have walked with all Israel, did I speak a word to any of the judges of Israel, whom I commanded to feed My people, saying, Why have you not built Me a house of cedars? And now you shall say this to My servant David, So says the LORD of hosts, I took you from the pasture, from following the sheep, so that you should be ruler over My people Israel. And I have been with you wherever you have walked, and have cut off all your enemies from before you, and have made you a name like the name of the great men in the earth. And I will set a place for My people Israel, and will plant them, and they shall live in their place and shall be moved no more; nor shall the sons of wickedness waste them any more, as at the beginning, and since the time that I commanded judges to be over My people Israel. And I will subdue all your enemies. And I declare to you that the LORD will build you a house. And it will be, when your days have ended so that you must go to be with your fathers, I will raise up your seed after you, who shall be from your sons. And I will make his kingdom sure. He shall build Me a house, and I will establish his throne forever. I will be his Father, and he shall be My son. And I will not take My mercy away from him as I took it from him who was before you. And I will settle him in My house, and in My kingdom forever. And his throne shall be established forever. According to all these words, and according to all this vision, so Nathan spoke to David.
Read this already.
And David the king came and sat before the LORD, and said, Who am I, O, LORD God, and what is my house, that You have brought me here? And this was a small thing in Your eyes, O God, for You have also spoken of Your servant’s house for a great while to come, and have regarded me according to the estate of a man of high degree, O LORD God. What can David say more to You for the honor of Your servant? For You know Your servant! O LORD, for Your servant’s sake, and according to Your own heart, You have done all this greatness, in making known all these great things. O LORD, there is none like You, neither any God besides You, according to all that we have heard with our ears. And what one nation in the earth is like Your people Israel, whom God went to redeem to be His own people, to make You a name of greatness and terribleness, by driving out nations from before Your people whom You have redeemed out of Egypt? And You have chosen Your people Israel for Yourself, for a people forever. And You, LORD, became their God. And now, O LORD, let the thing which You have spoken concerning Your servant and concerning his house be established forever, and do as You have said. Let it even be established, so that Your name may be magnified forever, saying, The LORD of hosts is the God of Israel, a God to Israel. And let the house of David Your servant be established before You. For You, O my God, have told Your servant that You will build him a house. Therefore Your servant has found in his heart to pray before You. And now, LORD, You are God, and have promised this goodness to Your servant. And now let it please You to bless the house of Your servant so that it may be before You forever. For You have blessed, O LORD, and it is blessed forever.
Read this already.
And it happened after this, David struck the Philistines and humbled them. And he took Gath and its towns out of the hand of the Philistines. And he struck Moab. And the people of Moab became David’s servants and brought gifts. And David struck Hadarezer king of Zobah to Hamath, as he went to establish his dominion by the river Euphrates. And David took from him a thousand chariots and seven thousand horsemen, and twenty thousand footmen. David also hamstrung all the chariot horses, but kept from them a hundred chariots. And when the Syrians of Damascus came to help Hadarezer king of Zobah, David killed twenty-two thousand men of the Syrians. Then David placed troops in Syria, in Damascus. And the Syrians became David’s servants, bringing gifts. And the LORD preserved David wherever he went. And David took the shields of gold which were on the servants of Hadarezer, and brought them to Jerusalem. And David brought very much bronze from Tibhath, and from Chun, cities of Hadarezer, with which Solomon made the bronze sea, and the pillars, and the vessels of bronze.
Read this already.
And Tou king of Hamath heard that David had struck all the army of Hadarezer king of Zobah, he sent Hadoram his son to king David to ask of his welfare, and to praise him because he had fought against Hadarezer and had beaten him. For Hadarezer had war with Tou. And he sent all kinds of vessels of gold and silver and bronze. And king David dedicated them to the LORD, with the silver and the gold which he brought from all the nations, from Edom, and from Moab, and from the sons of Ammon, and from the Philistines, and from Amalek. And Abishai the son of Zeruiah killed eighteen thousand of the men of Edom in the Valley of Salt. And he put guards in Edom. And all the men of Edom became David’s servants. And the LORD kept David safe wherever he went. And David reigned over all Israel, and did judgment and justice among all his people. And Joab the son of Zeruiah was over the army. And Jehoshaphat the son of Ahilud was recorder. And Zadok the son of Ahitub, and Abimelech the son of Abiathar were the priests. And Shavsha was scribe. And Benaiah the son of Jehoiada was over the Cherethites and the Pelethites. And the sons of David were first ones at the hand of the king.
Read this already.
And it happened after this, Nahash the king of the sons of Ammon died. And his son reigned in his place. And David said, I will show kindness to Hanun the son of Nahash, because his father showed kindness to me. And David sent messengers to comfort him concerning his father. And David’s servants came into the land of the sons of Ammon to Hanun, in order to comfort him. But the rulers of the sons of Ammon said to Hanun, Is David honoring your father in your eyes, because he has sent comforters to you? Have not his servants come to you to search and to overthrow and to spy out the land? And Hanun took David’s servants and shaved them, and cut off their garments in half, to the buttocks, and sent them away. And some came and told David how the men were treated. And he sent to meet them, for the men were greatly ashamed. And the king said, Stay at Jericho until your beards are grown, and then return.
Read this already. Stupid beard story.
And the Ammonites saw that they had made themselves stink before David, and Hanun and the Ammonites sent a thousand talents of silver to hire chariots and horsemen out of Mesopotamia and out of Maachah of Syria, and out of Zobah. And they hired thirty-two thousand chariots, and the king of Maachah and his people, who came and pitched before Medeba. And the Ammonites gathered themselves from their cities and came to battle. And David heard, and he sent Joab and all the army of the mighty men. And the sons of Ammon came out and put the battle in order before the gate of the city. And the kings who had come were by themselves in the field. And Joab saw that the battle was set against him before and behind, and he chose out of all the choice young men of Israel and set in order against the Syrians. And he delivered the rest of the people into the hand of his brother Abishai. And they set in order against the sons of Ammon. And he said, If the Syrians are too strong for me, then you shall help me. But if the sons of Ammon are too strong for you, then I will help you. Be of good courage and let us behave ourselves bravely for our people, and for the cities of our God. And let the LORD do what is good in His sight. And Joab and the people with him drew near before the Syrians to the battle. And they fled before him. And when the sons of Ammon saw that the Syrians had fled, they also fled before his brother Abishai. And they entered into the city. And Joab came to Jerusalem. And the Syrians saw that they were beaten before Israel, and sent messengers and drew forth the Syrians who were beyond the river. And Shophach the captain of the army of Hadarezer went before them. And it was told to David. And he gathered all Israel and passed over Jordan and came on them. And he set in order against them. And David set in order against the Syrians, and they fought with him. But the Syrians fled before Israel. And David killed seven thousand of the Syrians in chariots, and forty thousand footmen; and he killed Shophach the commander of the army. And the servants of Hadarezer saw that they were beaten before Israel, and they made peace with David and became his servants. And Syria was not willing to help the sons of Ammon any more.
Read this already.
And it happened after the year had ended, at the time kings go forth, Joab led out the power of the army and wasted the country of the sons of Ammon. And he came and besieged Rabbah. But David stayed at Jerusalem. And Joab struck Rabbah and destroyed it. And David took the crown of their king from off his head and found its weight a talent of gold. And precious stones were in it. And it was set on David’s head, and he also brought exceeding much spoil out of the city. And he brought out the people who were in it. And they sawed with saws and with sharp tools of iron, and with the axes. And so David did with the cities of the sons of Ammon. And David and all the people returned to Jerusalem.
Read this already. Construction.
And it happened after this, that there arose war at Gezer with the Philistines. Then Sibbechai the Hushathite killed Sippai, of the children of the giant. And they were humbled. And there was war again with the Philistines. And Elhanan the son of Jair killed Lahmi the brother of Goliath the Gittite, whose spear was like a weavers’ beam. And again there was a battle in Gath, and a man of stature was there, and his fingers and toes were twenty-four, six on each hand and six on each foot. And he also had been born son of the giant. But he cursed Israel, and Jonathan the son of Shimea, David’s brother, killed him. These were born to the giant in Gath. And they fell by the hand of David, and by the hand of his servants.
Read this already. Six fingered man.
And Satan stood up against Israel and provoked David to take a census of Israel. And David said to Joab and to the rulers of the people, Go number Israel from Beer-sheba to Dan. And bring the number of them to me so that I may know. And Joab answered, May the LORD add to His people a hundred times, but my lord the king, are they not all my lord’s servants? Why then does my lord require this thing? Why will he be a cause of trespass to Israel? But the king’s word prevailed against Joab. And Joab departed and went up and down all Israel, and came again to Jerusalem. And Joab gave the sum of the census of the people to David. And in all Israel there were one million and a hundred thousand men who drew sword. And in Judah were four hundred and seventy thousand men who drew sword. But Levi and Benjamin he did not count among them; for the king’s word was evil to Joab.
Read this already. Satan commanding a census. Really?
And it was evil in the eyes of God as to this thing. And He struck Israel. And David said to God, I have sinned greatly because I have done this thing. But now, I beseech You, remove the iniquity of Your servant for I have done very foolishly. And the LORD spoke to Gad, David’s seer, saying, Go and speak to David, saying, So says the LORD: I offer you three things. Choose one of them so that I may do it to you. And Gad came to David and said to him, So says the LORD, Choose for yourself: either three years of famine, or three months to be swept away before your foes, while the sword of your enemies overtake you, or else three days of the sword of the LORD, even the plague in the land, and the angel of the LORD destroying throughout all the border of Israel. And now say what word I shall bring again to Him who sent me. And David said to Gad, I am in great distress. Let me fall now into the hand of the LORD, for His mercies are very great. But do not let me fall into the hand of man. And the LORD sent a plague on Israel. And there fell seventy thousand men of Israel. And God sent an angel to Jerusalem to destroy it. And as he was destroying, the LORD looked. And He repented of the evil and said to the angel who destroyed, Enough! Stay your hand now! And the angel of the LORD stood by the threshing-floor of Ornan the Jebusite. And David lifted up his eyes and saw the angel of the LORD standing between the earth and the heavens, and his sword drawn in his hand, stretched out over Jerusalem. And David and the elders, clothed in sackcloth, fell on their faces. And David said to God, Did not I command to number the people? I am the one who has sinned and done evil indeed. But these sheep, what have they done? I pray You, let Your hand be on me, O LORD my God, and on my father’s house, but not on Your people, that they should be plagued.
Read this already. Men in sackcloths.
And the angel of the LORD commanded Gad to say to David that David should go up and set up an altar to the LORD in the threshing-floor of Ornan the Jebusite. And David went up at the word of Gad which he spoke in the name of the LORD. And Ornan turned back and saw the angel. And his four sons with him hid themselves. And Ornan was threshing wheat. And David came to Ornan, Ornan looked and saw David. And he went out of the threshing-floor and bowed to David with his face to the ground. Then David said to Ornan, Give me the place of this threshing-floor, so that I may build an altar in it to the LORD. You shall give it to me for the full price, so that the plague may be stayed from the people. And Ornan said to David, Take for yourself, and let my lord the king do what is good in his eyes. Lo, I give the oxen for burnt offerings, and the threshing instruments for wood, and the wheat for the food offering. I give it all. And king David said to Ornan, No, but I will truly buy it for the full silver. For I will not take what is yours for the LORD, nor offer burnt offerings without cost. And David gave to Ornan for the place six hundred shekels of gold by weight. And David built an altar there to the LORD, and offered burnt offerings and peace offerings, and called on the LORD. And He answered him from Heaven by fire on the altar of burnt offering. And the LORD commanded the angel, and he put up his sword again into its sheath. At that time, when David saw that the LORD had answered him in the threshing-floor of Ornan the Jebusite, then he sacrificed there. For the tabernacle of the LORD, which Moses made in the wilderness, and the altar of the burnt offering, were at that time in the high place at Gibeon. But David could not go before it to ask of God, for he was afraid because of the sword of the angel of the LORD.
Read this already. Temple on a threshing room floor.
Then David said, This is the house of the LORD God, and this is the altar of the burnt offering for Israel. And David commanded the strangers in the land of Israel to be gathered. And he set masons to cut squared stones to build the house of God. And David prepared iron in abundance for the nails for the doors of the gates, and for the couplings, and bronze in abundance without weight, and also cedar trees without number, for the Sidonians and the Tyrians brought in cedar trees in abundance to David. And David said, Solomon my son is young and tender, and the house to be built for the LORD is to be highly magnificent, for a name and for beauty to all the lands. I will now prepare for it. And David prepared abundantly before his death.
Read this already. Construction.
And he called for Solomon his son, and commanded him to build a house for the LORD God of Israel. And David said to Solomon, My son, as for me, it was in my mind to build a house to the name of the LORD my God. But the word of the LORD came to me, saying, You have shed much blood and have made great wars. You shall not build a house to My name because you have shed much blood on the earth in My sight. Behold, a son shall be born to you who shall be a man of rest. And I will give him rest from all his enemies all around. For his name shall be Solomon, and I will give peace and quietness to Israel in his days. He shall build a house for My name. And he shall be My son, and I will be his Father. And I will establish the throne of his kingdom over Israel forever. Now, my son, may the LORD be with you and bless you, and build the house of the LORD your God as He has said of you. Only may the LORD give you wisdom and understanding, and direct you concerning Israel, so that you may keep the law of the LORD your God. Then you shall prosper, if you take heed to fulfil the statutes and judgments with which the LORD charged Moses, concerning Israel. Be strong and of good courage. Do not fear, nor be dismayed. And, behold, in my trouble I have prepared for the house of the LORD a hundred thousand talents of gold, and a million talents of silver, and of bronze and iron without weight, for it is in abundance. I have prepared timber also, and stone, and you may add to them. And there are many workmen with you, cutters and workers of stone and timber, and all kinds of skillful men for every kind of work. Of the gold, the silver, and the bronze, and the iron, there is no number. Arise and be doing, and may the LORD be with you.
Read this already. Just as boring as the first time I read it.
And David commanded all the rulers of Israel to help Solomon his son, saying, Is not the LORD your God with you? And has He not given you rest on every side? For He has given the people of the land into my hand. And the land is humbled before the LORD and before His people. Now set your heart and your soul to seek the LORD your God. Arise therefore and build the sanctuary of the LORD God, to bring the ark of the covenant of the LORD, and the holy vessels of God, into the house that is to be built to the name of the LORD.
Read this already.
And David was old and full of days, and he made his son Solomon king over Israel. And he gathered all the rulers of Israel, with the priests and the Levites. And the Levites were numbered from the age of thirty years and upward. And their number by their heads, man by man, was thirty-eight thousand. Of these, twenty-four thousand were to set forward the work of the house of the LORD, and six thousand officers and judges. And four thousand were gatekeepers, and four thousand praised the LORD with the instruments which David made for praising. And David divided them into courses among the sons of Levi, Gershon, Kohath and Merari. Of the men of Gershon were Laadan and Shimei. The sons of Laadan: Jehiel the chief, and Zetham, and Joel, three. The sons of Shimei: Shelomith, and Haziel, and Haran, three. These were the chief of the fathers of Laadan. And the sons of Shimei: Jahath, Zina, and Jeush, and Beriah. These four were the sons of Shimei. And Jahath was the chief, and Zizah the second. But Jeush and Beriah did not have many sons. Therefore they were in one roster, according to their father’s house. The sons of Kohath: Amram, Izhar, Hebron, and Uzziel, four. The sons of Amram: Aaron and Moses. And Aaron was separated so that he should sanctify the most holy things, he and his sons forever, to burn incense before the LORD, to minister to Him, and to bless in His name forever. And as to Moses the man of God, his sons were named of the tribe of Levi. The sons of Moses: Gershom and Eliezer. Of the sons of Gershom, Shebuel was the chief. And the sons of Eliezer: Rehabiah the chief. And Eliezer had no other sons, but the sons of Rehabiah were very many. Of the sons of Izhar, Shelomith was the chief; of the sons of Hebron, Jeriah the first, Amariah the second, Jahaziel the third, and Jekameam the fourth. Of the sons of Uzziel, Michah the first, and Jesiah the second. The sons of Merari: Mahli and Mushi. The sons of Mahli: Eleazar and Kish. And Eleazar died, and had no sons, but had daughters. And their brothers, the sons of Kish, took them. The sons of Mushi: Mahli, and Eder, and Jeremoth, three.
That is it, this is the most boring book of the Bible.
These were the sons of Levi after the house of their fathers, the chief of the fathers, as they were counted by number of names by their heads, the ones who did the work for the service of the house of the LORD, from the age of twenty years and upward. For David said, The LORD God of Israel has given rest to His people so that they may dwell in Jerusalem forever, and also to the Levites, so that they shall no more carry the tabernacle, nor any of its vessels for its service. For by the last words of David the Levites were numbered from twenty years old and above, because their office was to wait on the sons of Aaron for the service of the house of the LORD, in the courts and in the chambers, and in the purifying of all holy things, and the work of the service of the house of God both for the showbread, and for the fine flour for food offering, and for the unleavened cakes, and for the pan, and for that which is fried, and for all kinds of measure and size, and to stand every morning to thank and praise the LORD, and likewise at evening. And they were to offer all burnt sacrifices to the LORD in the sabbath, in the new moons, and on the set feasts, by number, according to the order commanded to them, continually before the LORD, and that they should keep the charge of the tabernacle of the congregation, and the charge of the Holy Place, and the charge of their brothers, the sons of Aaron, in the service of the house of the LORD.
And the divisions of the sons of Aaron were: The sons of Aaron: Nadab and Abihu, Eleazar, and Ithamar. But Nadab and Abihu died before their father and had no sons. And Eleazar and Ithamar were priests. And David distributed them according to their offices in their service, both Zadok of the sons of Eleazar, and Ahimelech of the sons of Ithamar. And there were more chief men found of the sons of Eleazar than of the sons of Ithamar. And so they were divided. Among the sons of Eleazar were sixteen chief men of the house of their fathers, and eight among the sons of Ithamar according to the house of their fathers. So they divided them by lot, one sort with another. For the governors of the sanctuary, and governors of the house of God, were of the sons of Eleazar, and of the sons of Ithamar. And Shemaiah the son of Nethaneel the scribe, of the Levites, wrote them before the king, and the rulers, and Zadok the priest, and Ahimelech the son of Abiathar, and before the chief of the fathers of the priests and Levites. One principal household was taken for Eleazar, and one taken for Ithamar. Now the first lot came out to Jehoiarib, the second to Jedaiah, the third to Harim, the fourth to Seorim, the fifth to Malchijah, the sixth to Mijamin, the seventh to Hakkoz, the eighth to Abijah, the ninth to Jeshua, the tenth to Shecaniah, the eleventh to Eliashib, the twelfth to Jakim, the thirteenth to Huppah, the fourteenth to Jeshebeab, the fifteenth to Bilgah, the sixteenth to Immer, the seventeenth to Hezir, the eighteenth to Aphses, the nineteenth to Pethahiah, the twentieth to Jehezekel, the twenty-first to Jachin, the twenty-second to Gamul, the twenty-third to Delaiah, the twenty-fourth to Maaziah. These were their orderings in their service to come into the house of the LORD, according to their manner, to Aaron their father, as the LORD God of Israel had commanded him.
If you think I read that, you are insane.
And the rest of the sons of Levi: Of the sons of Amram, Shubael; of the sons of Shubael, Jehdeiah. Concerning Rehabiah, of the sons of Rehabiah, the first was Isshiah. Of the Izharites, Shelomoth; of the sons of Shelomoth, Jahath. And the sons of Hebron: Jeriah, Amariah the second, Jahaziel the third, Jekameam the fourth. Of the sons of Uzziel, Michah. Of the sons of Michah, Shamir. The brother of Michah was Isshiah. Of the sons of Isshiah, Zechariah. The sons of Merari: Mahli and Mushi. The sons of Jaaziah, Beno. The sons of Merari by Jaaziah: Beno, and Shoham, and Zaccur, and Ibri. Of Mahli was Eleazar, who had no sons. Of Kish, the son of Kish was Jerahmeel. The sons of Mushi: Mahli, and Eder, and Jerimoth. These were the sons of the Levites according to the house of their fathers. And they also cast lots along with their brothers, the sons of Aaron, before David the king, and Zadok, and Ahimelech, and the chief of the fathers of the priests and Levites, the head of the fathers, as well as his younger brother.
At least this is an easy read…just skim.
And David and the army commanders separated to the service those of the sons of Asaph, and of Heman, and of Jeduthun, who were prophets with lyres and with cymbals. And the number of the workmen according to their service was: of the sons of Asaph, Zaccur, and Joseph, and Nethaniah, and Asarelah, the sons under the hands of Asaph, who prophesied according to the order of the king. Of Jeduthun, the sons of Jeduthun: Gedaliah, and Zeri, and Jeshaiah, Hashabiah, and Mattithiah, and Shimei, six, under the hands of their father Jeduthun, who prophesied with the lyre to give thanks and to praise the LORD. Of Heman, the sons of Heman: Bukkiah, Mattaniah, Uzziel, Shebuel, and Jerimoth, Hananiah, Hanani, Eliathah, Giddalti, and Romamti-ezer, Josh-bekashah, Mallothi, Hothir, Mahazioth. All these were the sons of Heman the king’s seer in the words of God, to lift up the horn. And God gave to Heman fourteen sons and three daughters. All these were under the hands of their father for song in the house of the LORD, with cymbals, harps and lyres, for the service of the house of God, according to the king’s order to Asaph, Jeduthun, and Heman. So the number of them, with their brothers who were instructed in the songs of the LORD, all that were skillful, was two hundred and eighty-eight.
Like reading a phone book.
And they cast lots, for duty, the small as well as the great, the teacher as the pupil. And the first lot came out for Asaph to Joseph; the second was to Gedaliah, with his brothers and sons, twelve; the third was to Zaccur, his sons and his brothers, twelve men; the fourth was to Izri, his sons and his brothers, twelve; the fifth was to Nethaniah, his sons and his brothers, twelve; the sixth was to Bukkiah, his sons and his brothers, twelve; the seventh was to Jesharelah, his sons and his brothers, twelve; the eighth was to Jeshaiah, his sons and his brothers, twelve; the ninth was to Mattaniah, his sons and his brothers, twelve; the tenth was to Shimei, his sons and his brothers, twelve; the eleventh was to Azareel, his sons and his brothers, twelve; the twelfth was to Hashabiah, his sons and his brothers, twelve; the thirteenth was to Shubael, his sons and his brothers, twelve; the fourteenth was to Mattithiah, his sons and his brothers, twelve; the fifteenth was to Jeremoth, his sons and his brothers, twelve, the sixteenth was to Hananiah, his sons and his brothers, twelve; the seventeenth was to Joshbekashah, his sons and his brothers, twelve; the eighteenth was to Hanani, his sons and his brothers, twelve; the nineteenth was to Mallothi, his sons and his brothers, twelve; the twentieth was to Eliathah, his sons and his brothers, twelve; the twenty-first was to Hothir, his sons and his brothers, twelve; the twenty-second was to Giddalti, his sons and his brothers, twelve; the twenty-third was to Mahazioth, his sons and his brothers, twelve; the twenty-fourth was to Romamti-ezer, his sons and his brothers, twelve.
Most pointless passage, ever.
For the divisions of the gatekeepers: Of the Korhites: Meshelemiah the son of Kore, of the sons of Asaph. And the sons of Meshelemiah: Zechariah the first-born, Jediael the second, Zebadiah the third, Jathniel the fourth, Elam the fifth, Jehohanan the sixth, Elioenai the seventh. And the sons of Obed-edom: Shemaiah the first-born, Jehozabad the second, Joah the third, and Sacar the fourth, and Nethaneel the fifth, Ammiel the sixth, Issachar the seventh, Peulthai the eighth– for God blessed him. Also sons were born to his son Shemaiah, who ruled for the house of their father, for they were mighty men of valor. The sons of Shemaiah: Othni, and Rephael, and Obed, Elzabad, whose brothers were strong men, Elihu, and Semachiah. All these were the sons of Obed-edom. They and their sons and their brothers were able men for strength for the service, and there were sixty-two of Obed-edom. And Meshelemiah had sons and brothers, strong men, eighteen. Also to Hosah, of the sons of Merari, were sons: Simri was the chief ( though not the first-born, yet his father made him the chief), Hilkiah the second, Tebaliah the third, Zechariah the fourth. All the sons and brothers of Hosah were thirteen. among these were the divisions of the gatekeepers, among the chief men, having charges like their brothers, to minister in the house of the LORD. And they cast lots, the small as well as the great, according to the house of their fathers, for every gate. And the lot eastward fell to Shelemiah; then Zechariah his son, a wise counselor, they cast lots. And his lot came out northward. To Obed-edom southward; and to his sons the storehouse; to Shuppim and Hosah westward, with the gate of Shallecheth, by the highway going up, guard corresponding to guard. Eastward were six Levites, northward four a day, southward four a day, and toward the storehouse, two by two. At the Parbar, westward, four at the highway, two at the Parbar. These are the divisions of the gatekeepers among the sons of Kore, and among the sons of Merari.
What is what these fucking names?
And of the Levites, Ahijah was over the treasures of the house of God and over the treasures of the dedicated things. The sons of Laadan, sons of the Gershonites; chief fathers of Laadan the Gershonite: Jehieli; the sons of Jehieli: Zetham and Joel his brother, who were over the treasures of the house of the LORD, for the Amramites, and the Izharites, the Hebronites, and the Uzzielites. And Shebuel the son of Gershom, the son of Moses, was ruler of the treasures. And his brothers by Eliezer: Rehabiah his son, and Jeshaiah his son, and Joram his son, and Zichri his son, and Shelomith his son. This Shelomith and his brothers were over all the treasures of the holy things, which David the king, and the chief fathers, the commanders over thousands and hundreds, and the commanders of the army, had given. They dedicated part of the spoils won in battles, to maintain the house of the LORD, and all that Samuel the seer, and Saul the son of Kish, and Abner the son of Ner, and Joab the son of Zeruiah had dedicated. Whoever had dedicated anything, it was at the hand of Shelomith and of his brothers.
Of the Izharites, Chenaniah and his sons were for the outward business over Israel, for officers and judges. Of the men of Hebron, Hashabiah and his brothers, men of valor, a thousand and seven hundred, were officers among them of Israel on this side Jordan westward in all the business of the LORD, and in the service of the king. Jerijah was the chief among the men of Hebron. He was of the Hebronites, according to the generations of his fathers. In the fortieth year of the reign of David they were sought for, and there were found among them mighty men of valor at Jazer of Gilead. And his brothers, mighty men, were two thousand and seven hundred chief fathers whom king David made rulers over the men of Reuben, of Gad, and the half tribe of Manasseh, for every matter having to do with God and the affairs of the king.
And the sons of Israel according to their number, the chief fathers and commanders of thousands and hundreds, and their officers who served the king in any matter of the divisions, who came in and went out month by month for all the months of the year, were twenty-four thousand of every division. Over the first division for the first month was Jashobeam the son of Zabdiel. And in his division were twenty-four thousand. Of the sons of Perez was the chief of all the commanders of the army for the first month. And over the division of the second month was Dodai the Ahohite, and of his division Mikloth was also the ruler. In his division also were twenty-four thousand. The third commander of the army for the third month was Benaiah the son of Jehoiada, a chief priest. And in his division were twenty-four thousand. This is that Benaiah who was mighty among the thirty, and above the thirty. And in his division was Ammizabad his son. The fourth for the fourth month was Asahel the brother of Joab, and Zebadiah his son after him. And in his division were twenty-four thousand. The fifth commander for the fifth month was Shamhuth the Izrahite. And in his division were twenty-four thousand. The sixth for the sixth month was Ira the son of Ikkesh the Tekoite. And in his division were twenty-four thousand. The seventh for the seventh month was Helez the Pelonite, of the sons of Ephraim. And in his division were twenty-four thousand. The eighth for the eighth month was Sibbecai the Hushathite, of the Zerahites. And in his division were twenty-four thousand. The ninth for the ninth month was Abiezer the Anethothite, of the Benjamites. And in his division were twenty-four thousand. The tenth for the tenth month was Maharai of Netopha, of the Zerahites. And in his division were twenty-four thousand. The eleventh for the eleventh month was Benaiah the Pirathonite, of the sons of Ephraim. And in his division were twenty-four thousand. The twelfth for the twelfth month was Heldai of Netopha, of Othniel. And in his division were twenty-four thousand.
Boring, repeatative, dick waving.
And over the tribes of Israel, the ruler of the Reubenites was Eliezer the son of Zichri. The ruler of the Simeonites was Shephatiah the son of Maachah. The ruler of the Levites was Hashabiah the son of Kemuel; over the Aaronites was Zadok. Over Judah was Elihu, of the brothers of David. The ruler of Issachar was Omri the son of Michael. The ruler of Zebulun was Ishmaiah the son of Obadiah. The ruler of Naphtali was Jerimoth the son of Azriel. The ruler of the sons of Ephraim was Hoshea the son of Azaziah. The ruler of the half tribe of Manasseh was Joel the son of Pedaiah. The ruler of the half tribe of Manasseh in Gilead was Iddo the son of Zechariah. The ruler of Benjamin was Jaasiel the son of Abner. The ruler of Dan was Azareel the son of Jeroham. These were the rulers of the tribes of Israel. But David did not take the number of those from twenty years old and under, because the LORD had said He would increase Israel like the stars of the heavens. Joab the son of Zeruiah began to number, but he did not finish because wrath fell against the sons of Israel for this. And the number did not go up in the account of the chronicles of king David. And over the king’s treasures was Azmaveth the son of Adiel. And over the storehouses in the fields, in the cities, and in the villages, and in the strongholds, was Jehonathan the son of Uzziah. Ezri the son of Chelub was over the work of the field for farming the ground. And over the vineyards was Shimei of Ramah. Over the increase of the vineyards for the wine cellars was Zabdi the Shiphmite. And over the olive trees and the sycamore trees that were in the low plains was Baal-hanan of Geder. And over the cellars of oil was Joash. And over the herds that fed in Sharon was Shitrai of Sharon. And over the herds in the valleys was Shaphat the son of Adlai. Over the camels also was Obil the Ishmaelite. And over the asses was Jehdeiah the Meronothite. And over the flocks was Jaziz the son of Hagar. All these were the rulers of the substance which was king David’s. And Jonathan, David’s uncle, was an adviser, a wise man and a scribe. And Jehiel the son of Hachmoni was with the king’s sons. And Ahithophel was the king’s counselor. And Hushai the Archite was the king’s companion. And after Ahithophel was Jehoiada the son of Benaiah, and Abiathar. And the general of the king’s army was Joab.
And David gathered to Jerusalem all the rulers of Israel, the rulers of the tribes, and the commanders of the divisions that ministered to the king by division, and the commanders over the thousands, and commanders over the hundreds, and the stewards over all the substance and possession of the king, and of his sons, with the eunuchs and the mighty ones, even to every mighty one of valor. And David the king stood up on his feet and said, Hear me, my brothers and my people. I had in my heart to build a house of rest for the ark of the covenant of the Lord, and for the footstool of our God, and had made ready for the building. But God said to me, You shall not build a house for My name, because you have been a man of war and have shed blood. But the LORD God of Israel chose me before all the house of my father to be king over Israel forever. For He has chosen Judah to be the ruler, and of the house of Judah the house of my father. And in my father’s house He was pleased to make me king over all Israel. And of all my sons (for the LORD has given me many sons), He has chosen Solomon my son to sit on the throne of the kingdom of the Lord over Israel. And He said to me, Solomon your son shall build My house and My courts, for I have chosen him to be My son, and I will be his Father. And I will establish his kingdom forever if he will always do My commandments and My judgments, as at this day. And now in the sight of all Israel, the congregation of the LORD, and in the hearing of our God, keep and seek for all the commandments of the LORD your God, so that you may possess this good land and leave it for an inheritance for your sons after you forever. And you, Solomon my son, know the God of your father and serve Him with a perfect heart and with a willing mind. For the LORD searches all hearts and understands all the imaginations of the thoughts. If you seek Him, He will be found by you. But if you forsake Him, He will cast you off forever. Take heed now, for the LORD has chosen you to build a house for the sanctuary. Be strong and do it.
Repeat, obey commandments, build a house.
And David gave to his son Solomon the pattern of the porch, and of its houses, and of its treasuries, and of its upper rooms, and of its innermost rooms, and of the place of the mercy-seat, and the pattern of all that he had by the Spirit, of the courts of the house of the LORD, and of all the rooms all around the treasuries of the house of God, and of the treasuries of the holy things; And for the divisions of the priests and the Levites, and for all the work of the service of the house of the LORD, and for all the vessels of service in the house of the LORD; even gold by weight for things of gold, for all instruments of every kind of service; silver for all the vessels of silver by weight, for all vessels every kind of service; and by weight for the lampstands of gold, and for their lamps of gold, with the weight of each lampstand and its lamps. And he gave for the lampstands of silver by weight, for the lampstand and for its lamps, according to the use of each lampstand; and by weight gold for the tables of the showbread, for every table; silver for the tables of silver; and pure gold for the flesh-hooks, and the bowls, and the cups; and for the golden basins by weight for each basin, and by weight for each basin of silver; and the altar of incense refined gold by weight, and gold for the pattern of the chariot of the cherubs, who spread out their wings, and covered the ark of the covenant of the LORD. All was in writing from the hand of the LORD. He made me understand all the work of this pattern. And David said to Solomon his son, Be strong and of good courage, and do it. Do not fear, nor be dismayed, for the LORD God, my God, will be with you. He will not fail you nor leave you until you have finished all the work for the service of the house of the LORD. And, behold, the divisions of the priests and the Levites are for all the service of the house of God. And there shall be with you every willing skillful man for every kind of workmanship, for any kind of service. Also the rulers and all the people will be according to all your words.
Repeat written blueprints.
And David the king said to all the congregation, Solomon my son, whom alone God has chosen, is young and tender, and the work is great. For the palace is not for man, but for the LORD God. And I have prepared with all my might for the house of my God the gold for things of gold, and the silver for things of silver, and the bronze for things of bronze, the iron for things of iron, and wood for things of wood, onyx stones, and stones to be set, and also stones of antimony, and stones of many colors, and every precious stone, and stones of alabaster, in abundance. And also, because I have delighted in the house of my God, out of my own treasure of gold and silver I have given to the house of my God over and above all that I have prepared for the holy house, three thousand talents of gold, of the gold of Ophir, and seven thousand talents of refined silver, to overlay the walls of the houses; the gold for things of gold, and the silver for things of silver, and for all kinds of work by the hands of skillful workers. And who is willing to consecrate his service this day to the LORD? And the chiefs of the fathers, and the rulers of the tribes of Israel, and the commanders of thousands and of hundreds, with the rulers of the king’s work, offered willingly. And they gave for the service of the house of God five thousand talents of gold and ten thousand darics, and ten thousand talents of silver, and eighteen thousand talents of bronze, and one hundred thousand talents of iron. And he who had precious stones gave to the treasury of the house of the LORD by the hand of Jehiel the Gershonite. And the people rejoiced, because they offered willingly, because with perfect heart they offered willingly to the LORD. And David the king also rejoiced with great joy.
I can’t believe they are repeating this…again.
And David blessed the LORD before all the congregation. And David said, Blessed are You, LORD God of Israel our father, forever and ever. O LORD, Yours is the greatness, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, and, the majesty. For all in the heavens and in the earth is Yours. Yours is the kingdom, O LORD, and You lift up Yourself to all as Head. And the riches and the honor are from You, and You reign over all. And in Your hand is power and might. And it is in Your hand to make great and to give strength to all. And now, our God, we thank You and praise Your glorious name. But who am I, and who my people, that we should be able to offer so willingly after this sort? For all things are from You, and we have given to You that which is Yours. For we are strangers before You, and pilgrims, as our fathers were. Our days on the earth are like a shadow, and none abides. O LORD our God, all this store that we have prepared to build You a house for Your holy name comes from Your hand, and is all Your own. I know also, my God, that You try the heart, and have pleasure in uprightness. I, in the uprightness of my heart, have willingly offered all these things. And now I have seen with joy Your people who are present here to offer willingly to You. O LORD God of Abraham, Isaac, and of Israel, our fathers, keep this forever in the imagination of the thoughts of the heart of Your people, and prepare their heart to You. And give to Solomon my son a perfect heart, to keep Your commandments, Your testimonies, and Your statutes, and to do all these things, and to build the magnificent house for which I have made ready. And David said to all the congregation, Now bless the LORD your God! And all the congregation blessed the LORD God of their fathers, and bowed and worshiped the LORD, and bowed to the king. And they sacrificed sacrifices to the LORD, and offered burnt offerings to the LORD on the next day after that day a thousand bulls, a thousand rams, a thousand lambs, with their drink offerings, and sacrifices in abundance for all Israel. And they ate and drank before the LORD on that day with great gladness. And they made Solomon the son of David king the second time, and anointed him before the LORD as ruler, and Zadok to be as priest.
Copied verbatum from Samuel, I think.
And Solomon sat on the throne of the LORD as king in place of David his father. And he was blessed, and all Israel obeyed him. And all the rulers and the mighty men, and also all the sons of king David submitted themselves to Solomon the king. And the LORD made Solomon very great in the sight of all Israel, and placed on him such royal majesty as had not been on any king before him in Israel. And David, the son of Jesse, reigned over all Israel. And the time that he reigned over Israel was forty years. He reigned seven years in Hebron, and thirty-three years in Jerusalem. And he died in a good old age, full of days, riches, and honor. And Solomon his son reigned in his place. And the acts of David the king, first and last, behold, they are written in the book of Samuel the seer, and in the book of Nathan the prophet, and in the book of Gad the seer, with all his reign and his might, and the times that went over him, and over Israel, and over all the kingdoms of the lands.
Fuck, just the most pointless book in the Bible so far. There is literally nothing new here. Some is copied verbatum. Most is pure filler.