Leviticus 1 to 10

Leviticus 1
And the LORD called to Moses and spoke to him out of the tabernacle of the congregation, saying, Speak to the sons of Israel and say to them, If any one of you brings an offering to the LORD, you shall bring your offering of the cattle, of the herd and of the flock.

Lay it on me Moses.

If his offering is a burnt sacrifice of the herd, let him offer a male without blemish. He shall offer it of his own voluntary will at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation before the LORD. And he shall put his hand on the head of the burnt offering. And it shall be accepted for him to make atonement for him. And he shall kill the young bull before the LORD. And the priests, Aaron’s sons, shall bring the blood and sprinkle the blood all around on the altar that is by the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. And he shall skin the burnt offering and cut it into its pieces. And the sons of Aaron the priest shall put fire on the altar and lay the wood in order on the fire. And the priests, Aaron’s sons, shall arrange the parts with the head and the fat on the wood that is on the fire on the altar. But its inward parts and its legs he shall wash in water. And the priest shall burn all on the altar, a burnt sacrifice, an offering made by fire, of a sweet savor to the LORD.

All I can say is ew.  I am so animal sacrifice is not a thing in this country.

And if his offering is of the flocks, of the sheep, or of the goats, for a burnt offering, he shall bring a male without blemish. And he shall kill it on the side of the altar northward before the LORD. And the priests, Aaron’s sons, shall sprinkle its blood all around on the altar. And he shall cut it into its pieces, with its head and its fat. And the priest shall arrange on the wood that is on the fire, which is on the altar. But he shall wash the inward parts and the legs in water; and the priest shall bring near all of it and burn it on the altar. It is a burnt sacrifice, a fire offering of a sweet fragrance to the LORD. And if the burnt sacrifice for his offering to the LORD is out of fowls, then he shall bring his offering of turtle-doves or of young pigeons. And the priest shall bring it to the altar, and wring off its head and burn it on the altar. And its blood shall be drained at the side of the altar. And he shall pluck away its crop with its feathers, and throw it beside the altar on the east part, by the place of the ashes. And he shall cut it in two with the wings of it, not dividing it. And the priest shall burn it on the altar, on the wood that is on the fire. It is a burnt sacrifice, an offering made by fire, of a sweet savor to the LORD.

One thing I know, the LORD loves him a lot of burnt meat.

Leviticus 2
And when anyone will offer a food offering to the LORD, his offering shall be of fine flour. And he shall pour oil on it and put frankincense on it. And he shall bring it to Aaron’s sons, the priests. And he shall take out of it his handful of flour and its oil, with all its frankincense. And the priest shall burn the memorial of it on the altar, an offering made by fire, of a sweet savor to the LORD. And the rest of the food offering shall be Aaron’s and his sons’, most holy of the offerings of the LORD made by fire. And if you bring a sacrifice of a food offering baked in the oven, it shall be unleavened cakes of fine flour mixed with oil, or unleavened wafers anointed with oil. And if your offering is a food offering on the griddle, your offering shall be of fine flour unleavened, mixed with oil. You shall break it in pieces and pour oil on it. It is a food offering. And if your offering is a food offering in the frying pan, it shall be made of fine flour with oil. And you shall bring the food offering that is made of these things to the LORD. And when it is presented to the priest, he shall bring it to the altar. And the priest shall take from the food offering a memorial of it, and shall burn it on the altar. It is an offering made by fire, of a sweet savor to the LORD. And that which is left of the food offering shall be Aaron’s and his sons: it is most holy of the offerings of the LORD made by fire.

Fuck, not again.  I don’t care about instructions on how to make bread.

Any food offering which you shall bring to the LORD shall not be made with leaven. For you shall burn no leaven, nor any honey, in any offering of the LORD made by fire. As an offering of the firstfruits, you shall bring them to the LORD. But they shall not be burned on the altar for a sweet savor. And every sacrifice of your food offering shall you season with salt. And you shall not allow the salt of the covenant of your God to be lacking from your food offering. You shall offer salt with all your offerings. And if you bring a food offering of your firstfruits to the LORD, green ears roasted by fire, kernels of a garden, you shall bring near for a food offering your firstfruits, And you shall put oil on it and lay frankincense on it. It is a food offering. And the priest shall burn it as incense with its memorial offering from its kernels and from its oil, besides all its frankincense, a fire offering to the LORD.

Moving on…

Leviticus 3
And if his offering is a sacrifice of peace offering, if he offers from the herd, whether it is a male or female, he shall offer it without blemish before the LORD. And he shall lay his hand on the head of his offering, and kill it at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. And the priests, Aaron’s sons, shall sprinkle the blood on the altar all around. And he shall bring near from the sacrifice the peace offering, a fire offering to the LORD. The fat that covers the inward parts, all the fat that is on the inward parts, and the two kidneys, and the fat on them, on the loins, and the fold above the liver, with the kidneys, he shall remove. And Aaron’s sons shall burn it on the altar, on the burnt sacrifice on the wood, which is on the fire. It is an offering made by fire, of a sweet savor to the LORD.

We get it.  I have a strong stomach, but some of this description it too much.

And if his offering for a sacrifice of peace offering to the LORD is of the flocks, male or female, he shall bring it without blemish. If he is bringing near a sheep for his offering, then he shall bring it near before the LORD. And he shall lay his hand on the head of his offering and kill it before the tabernacle of the congregation. And Aaron’s sons shall sprinkle its blood all around on the altar. And he shall offer of the sacrifice of the peace offering, a fire offering to the LORD. He shall take away its fat, all its fat next to the backbone, and all the fat that covers the inward parts, and all the fat that is on the inward parts, and the two kidneys, and the fat that is on them, which is on the loins, and the fold above the liver, beside the kidneys, he shall remove it. And the priest shall burn it on the altar, bread of the fire offering to the LORD. And if his offering is a goat, then he shall bring it near before the LORD. And he shall lay his hand on its head and kill it before the tabernacle of the congregation. And the sons of Aaron shall sprinkle its blood on the altar all around. And he shall offer his offering of it, a fire offering to the LORD, the fat that covers the inward parts, and all the fat on the inward parts, and the two kidneys, and the fat on them, which is on the loins, and the fold above the liver, beside the kidneys, he shall remove. And the priest shall burn them on the altar, bread of the fire offering for a sweet savor. All the fat is the LORD’s. It shall be a statute forever for your generations throughout all your dwellings, that you eat neither fat nor blood.

Actually getting nauseous.  Why does the LORD need food?

Leviticus 4
And the LORD spoke to Moses saying, Speak to the sons of Israel, saying: If a soul shall sin through ignorance against any of the commandments of the LORD concerning things which ought not to be done, and shall do any one of them, if the priest who is anointed sins, resulting in guilt to the people, then he shall bring for his sin, which he has sinned, a young bull, a son of the herd, a perfect one, to the LORD for a sin offering. And he shall bring the young bull to the door of the tabernacle of the congregation before the LORD, and he shall lay his hand on the young bull’s head, and kill the young bull before the LORD. And the priest who is anointed shall take of the young bull’s blood, and shall bring it to the tabernacle of the congregation. And the priest shall dip his finger in the blood and sprinkle of the blood seven times before the LORD, at the front of the veil of the holy place. And the priest shall put some of the blood on the horns of the altar of sweet incense before the LORD, which is in the tabernacle of the congregation. And he shall pour all the blood of the young bull at the bottom of the altar of burnt offering, which is at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. And he shall lift up from it all the fat of the young bull for the sin offering; the fat that covers the inward parts, and all the fat on the inward parts, and the two kidneys, and the fat on them, beside the loins, and he shall remove the fold above the liver, with the kidneys. Even as it was lifted from the young bull of the sacrifice of peace offerings, the priest shall burn them on the altar of the burnt offering. And the skin of the young bull, and all its flesh, with its head, and with its legs, and its inward parts, and its dung, even the whole bull shall he carry forth outside the camp to a clean place, where the ashes are poured out, and burn it on the wood with fire. It shall be burned where the ashes are poured out.

Fuck, enough fucking animal sacrifice.

And if the whole company of Israel sins through ignorance, and the thing is hidden from the eyes of the assembly, and if they do that which ought not to be done to any of all the commands of the LORD, and are guilty; when the sin is known which they have sinned against it, then the congregation shall bring near a young bull for the sin, and bring him before the tabernacle of the congregation. And the elders of the congregation shall lay their hands on the head of the young bull before the LORD, and the young bull shall be killed before the LORD. And the priest that is anointed shall bring of the young bull’s blood to the tabernacle of the congregation. And the priest shall dip his finger in the blood and sprinkle seven times before the LORD, before the veil. And he shall put some of the blood on the horns of the altar which is before the LORD, which is in the tabernacle of the congregation. And he shall pour out all the blood at the bottom of the altar of burnt offering, which is at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. And he shall take all its fat from it and burn it on the altar. And he shall do with the young bull as he did with the young bull for a sin offering; so shall he do to it. And the priest shall make an atonement for them, and it shall be forgiven them. And he shall carry forth the young bull outside the camp, and burn it as he burned the first bull. It is a sin offering for the congregation.

More?  How in the world do they have enough animals to waste?

When a ruler has sinned and through ignorance has acted against one of the commands of the LORD his God, which is not to be done, and is guilty; or if his sin which he has sinned shall be made known to him, he shall bring his offering, a kid of the goats, a male without blemish. And he shall lay his hand on the head of the goat and kill it in the place where he kills the burnt offering before the LORD. It is a sin offering. And the priest shall take of the blood of the sin offering with his finger, and put it on the horns of the altar of burnt offering, and shall pour out its blood at the bottom of the altar of burnt offering. And he shall burn all its fat on the altar, as the fat of the sacrifice of peace offerings. And the priest shall make an atonement for him for his sin, and it shall be forgiven him.

Didn’t you just fucking say this?

And if any one of the people of the land sins through ignorance, by doing that which is not to be done against one of the commands of the LORD, and is guilty; or if his sin which he has sinned shall be made known to him, then he shall bring his offering, a ewe of the goats, a female without blemish, for his sin which he has sinned. And he shall lay his hand on the head of the sin offering, and kill the sin offering in the place of the burnt offering. And the priest shall take of its blood with his finger and put it on the horns of the altar of burnt offering, and shall pour out all the blood of it at the bottom of the altar. And he shall take away all its fat, as the fat is taken away from the sacrifice of peace offerings. And the priest shall burn it on the altar for a sweet savor to the LORD. And the priest shall make an atonement for him, and it shall be forgiven him. And if he brings a lamb for a sin offering, he shall bring a female without blemish. And he shall lay his hand on the head of the sin offering, and kill it for a sin offering in the place where he kills the burnt offering. And the priest shall take of the blood of the sin offering with his finger and put it on the horns of the altar of burnt offering, and shall pour out all its blood at the bottom of the altar. And he shall take away all the fat of it, as the fat of the lamb is taken away from the sacrifice of the peace offerings. And the priest shall burn them on the altar, on the fire offerings to the LORD. And the priest shall make an atonement for his sin that he has sinned, and it shall be forgiven him.

And over, and over, and over, and over.  Fuck, we fucking get it.

Leviticus 5
And if a soul sins and hears the voice of swearing, and is a witness, and he has seen or known, if he does not tell it, then he shall bear his iniquity. Or if a soul touches any unclean thing, whether a dead body of an unclean beast, or a dead body of unclean cattle, or the dead body of unclean swarming things, and if it is hidden from him that he is unclean and guilty– or if he touches the uncleanness of man, whatever uncleanness by which he is unclean, and it is hidden from him, and he knows, then he shall be guilty. Or if a soul swears, pronouncing with his lips to do evil or to do good, whatever it is that a man speaks rashly with an oath, and it is hidden from him, and he knows, then he shall be guilty of one of these. And it shall be when he is guilty in one of these, he shall confess that in which he has sinned. And he shall bring his trespass offering to the LORD for his sin which he has sinned, a female from the flock, a lamb or a doe of the goats, for a sin offering. And the priest shall make an atonement for him for his sin.

Don’t touch unclean things.   If you do, sacrifice yet another animal.

And if his hand cannot reach to a lamb, then he shall bring for his trespass which he has committed, two turtle-doves or two young pigeons to the LORD– one for a sin offering, and the other for a burnt offering. And he shall bring them to the priest, who shall offer for the sin offering first, and shall wring off its head from its neck, but shall not divide it. And he shall sprinkle of the blood of the sin offering on the side of the altar, and the rest of the blood shall be drained at the bottom of the altar. It is a sin offering. And he shall offer the second for a burnt offering, according to the ordinance. And the priest shall make an atonement for him for his sin which he has sinned, and it shall be forgiven him. But if he is not able to bring two turtle-doves, or two young pigeons, then he that sinned shall bring for his offering the tenth part of an ephah of fine flour for a sin offering. He shall put no oil on it, neither shall he put frankincense on it. For it is a sin offering. And he shall bring it to the priest, and the priest shall take his full handful of it, a memorial of it, and burn it on the altar, on the fire offering to the LORD. It is a sin offering. And the priest shall make an atonement for him for his sin that he has sinned in one of these, and it shall be forgiven him. And the rest shall be the priest’s, as a food offering.

No lamb or doe, wring the neck of two turtle dove or pigeons.  

And the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, If a soul commits a trespass and sins through ignorance in the holy things of the LORD, then he shall bring for his trespass to the LORD a ram without blemish out of the flock, together with an amount set by you, by shekels of silver, after the shekel of the sanctuary, for a trespass offering. And he shall make it good in which he has sinned, in the holy thing, and he shall add the fifth part of it, and give it to the priest. And the priest shall make an atonement for him with the ram of the trespass offering, and it shall be forgiven him. And if a soul sins, and he has done that which ought not to be done, any one from all the commands of the LORD, and does not know, and he is guilty and bears his iniquity; then he shall bring a ram without blemish out of the flock, at your evaluation, for a trespass offering, to the priest. And the priest shall make an atonement for him for his ignorance in which he erred without knowing it, and it shall be forgiven him. It is a trespass offering. He has certainly trespassed against the LORD.

NOT FUCKING AGAIN!!!

Leviticus 6
And the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, If a soul sins, and acts unfaithfully against the LORD, and lies to his neighbor as to a deposit– or as to security, or by robbery, or has extorted his neighbor, or has found that which was lost and lies concerning it and swears falsely– in any of all these that a man does, sinning in it, then, it shall be, because he sinned and is guilty, he shall pay back that which he got by robbery; or if he robbed the thing extorted; or the deposit which had been deposited with him; or the lost thing which he had found; or all that which he swore about falsely, –he shall even repay it in its principal, and the fifth part he shall add to it, to whomever it belongs. He shall give it on the day of his guilt offering. And he shall bring his trespass offering to the LORD, a ram without blemish out of the flock, together with an amount set by you, for a trespass offering, to the priest. And the priest shall make an atonement for him before the LORD, and it shall be forgiven him for anything of all that he has done by being guilty in it.

Steal something, cash fine AND a ram is sacrificed.  How is this timeless advice?

And the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, Command Aaron and his sons, saying, This is the law of the burnt offering. It is the burnt offering for burning on the altar all night to the morning, and the fire of the altar shall be burning in it. And the priest shall put on his linen garment. And he shall put his linen breeches on his flesh and take up the ashes which the fire has consumed with the burnt offering on the altar. And he shall put them beside the altar. And he shall strip off his garments and put on other garments, and carry forth the ashes outside the camp to a clean place. And the fire on the altar shall be kept burning on it. It shall not be put out. And the priest shall burn wood on it every morning, and lay the burnt offering in order on it. And he shall burn on it the fat of the peace offerings. The fire shall always be burning on the altar. It shall never go out.

Keep the fires burning.

And this is the law of the food offering. The sons of Aaron shall offer it before the LORD before the altar. And he shall take from it his handful of the flour of the food offering, and of the oil of it, and all the frankincense which is on the food offering, and shall burn it on the altar for a sweet savor, the memorial of it, to the LORD. And the rest of it Aaron and his sons shall eat. It shall be eaten with unleavened bread in the holy place. They shall eat it in the court of the tabernacle of the congregation. It shall not be baked with leaven. I have given it as their portion of My offerings made by fire. It is most holy, as is the sin offering, and as the trespass offering is. All the males among the sons of Aaron shall eat of it. It shall be a statute forever in your generations concerning the offerings of the LORD made by fire. Everyone that touches them shall be holy. And the LORD spoke to Moses saying, This is the offering of Aaron and of his sons, which they shall offer to the LORD in the day he is anointed, the tenth part of an ephah of fine flour for a continual food offering, half of it in the morning and half of it at night. It shall be made in a pan with oil; you shall bring it in. And you shall offer the baked pieces of the food offering, a sweet savor to the LORD. And the priest of his sons, who is anointed in his stead, shall offer it. It is a statute forever to the LORD. It shall be wholly burnt. For every food offering for the priest shall be wholly burnt. It shall not be eaten.

More burnt, wasted food.

And the LORD spoke to Moses saying, Speak to Aaron and to his sons, saying, This is the law of the sin offering. In the place where the burnt offering is killed, the sin offering shall be killed before the LORD. It is most holy. The priest who offers it for sin shall eat it. It shall be eaten in the holy place, in the court of the tabernacle of the congregation. Whatever shall touch its flesh shall be holy. And when any of its blood is sprinkled on any garment, you shall wash that on which it was sprinkled in the holy place. But the earthen vessel in which it is boiled shall be broken. And if it is boiled in a bronze pot, it shall be both scoured and rinsed in water. All the males among the priests shall eat of it. It is most holy. And no sin offering, of which any of the blood is brought into the tabernacle of the congregation for atonement in the sanctuary, shall be eaten. It shall be burned up in the fire.

So the priests can eat some of the food.

Leviticus 7
And this is the law of the trespass offering. It is most holy. In the place where they kill the burnt offering, they shall kill the trespass offering. And he shall sprinkle its blood on the altar all around. And he shall offer all its fat; he shall offer the fat tail of it, and the fat that covers the inward parts, and the two kidneys, and the fat on them, on the loins, and the fold above the liver, beside the kidneys, he shall take away. And the priest shall burn them on the altar for a fire offering to the LORD. It is a trespass offering. Every male among the priests shall eat of it. It shall be eaten in the holy place. It is most holy. As the sin offering, so is the trespass offering. There is one law for them. The priest that makes atonement with it, it is his. And the priest that offers any man’s burnt offering, that priest shall have the skin of the burnt offering which he has offered; it is his. And all the food offering that is baked in the oven, and all that is dressed in the frying-pan and on the griddle, shall be the priest’s that offers it; it is his. And every food offering mixed with oil, or dry, shall all the sons of Aaron have, one like another.

This is officially the more repetitive book ever made.

And this is the law of the sacrifice of peace offerings which he shall offer to the LORD. If he offers it for a thanksgiving, then he shall offer with the sacrifice of thanksgiving unleavened cakes mixed with oil, and unleavened wafers anointed with oil, and cakes mixed with oil, of fine flour, fried. Besides the cakes, he shall offer for his offering leavened bread with the sacrifice of thanksgiving of his peace offerings. And from it he shall offer one cake out of the whole sacrifice for a heave offering to the LORD, to the priest that sprinkles the blood of the peace offerings; it is his. And the flesh of the sacrifice of his peace offerings for thanksgiving shall be eaten the same day that it is offered. He shall not leave any of it until the morning. But if the sacrifice of his offering is a vow, or a voluntary offering, it shall be eaten the same day that he offers his sacrifice. And on the next day also the rest of it shall be eaten. But the rest of the flesh of the sacrifice on the third day shall be burned with fire. And if any of the flesh of the sacrifice of the peace offerings is eaten at all the third day, it shall not be accepted, neither shall it be imputed to him who offers it. It shall be an abomination, and the soul that eats of it shall bear his iniquity. And the flesh that touches any unclean thing shall not be eaten. It shall be burned with fire. And as for the flesh, all who are clean shall eat of it. But the soul that eats of the flesh of the sacrifice of peace offerings that pertain to the LORD, having his uncleanness on him, even that soul shall be cut off from his people. And the soul that shall touch any unclean thing, of the uncleanness of man, or any unclean animal, or an unclean abominable thing, and eat of the flesh of the sacrifice of peace offerings which pertain to the LORD, even that soul shall be cut off from his people. And the LORD spoke to Moses saying, Speak to the sons of Israel, saying, You shall not eat any fat of ox, or of sheep, or of goat. And the fat of a dead body, and the fat of a thing torn, may be used in any other use. But you shall in no way eat it. For whoever eats the fat of the beast of which men offer an offering made by fire to the LORD, even the soul that eats it shall be cut off from his people. And you shall not eat any blood, of fowl or of beast, in any of your dwellings. Any soul who eats any blood, even that soul shall be cut off from his people. And the LORD spoke to Moses saying, Speak to the sons of Israel, saying, He who offers the sacrifice of his peace offerings to the LORD, shall bring his sacrifice to the LORD of the sacrifice of his peace offerings. His own hands shall bring in the fire offerings of the LORD. He shall bring the fat with the breast, so that the breast may be waved for a wave-offering before the LORD. And the priest shall burn the fat on the altar. But the breast shall be Aaron’s and his sons’. And you shall give the right shoulder to the priest for a heave offering of the sacrifices of your peace offerings. He among the sons of Aaron who offers the blood of the peace offerings, and the fat, shall have the right shoulder for his part. For I have taken the wave breast and the heave shoulder from the sons of Israel, from the sacrifices of their peace offerings, and have given them to Aaron the priest and to his sons by a statute forever from among the sons of Israel.

Totally skimmed this.  Exactly the same as a few chapters ago.

This is the portion of the anointing of Aaron, and of the anointing of his sons, out of the offerings of the LORD made by fire, in the day he presented them to minister to the LORD in the priest’s office, which the LORD commanded to be given to them of the sons of Israel, in the day that He anointed them as a statute forever throughout their generations. This is the law of the burnt offering, of the food offering, and of the sin offering, and of the trespass offering, and of the consecrations, and of the sacrifices of the peace offerings, which the LORD commanded Moses in Mount Sinai, in the day that He commanded the sons of Israel to offer their sacrifices to the LORD, in the wilderness of Sinai.

I sometimes have to check if I pasted something twice.  Nope, it’s just that repetitive.  

Leviticus 8
And the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, Take Aaron, and his sons with him, and the garments, and the anointing oil, and a young bull for the sin offering, and two rams, and a basket of unleavened bread. And gather all the congregation together to the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. And Moses did as the LORD had commanded him. And the assembly was gathered together to the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. And Moses said to the assembly, This is the thing which the LORD commanded to be done. And Moses brought Aaron and his sons, and washed them with water. And he put on him the tunic, and girded him with the girdle, and clothed him with the robe, and put the ephod on him, and girded him with the embroidered girdle of the ephod, and bound it to him with it. And he put the breast-pocket on him. Also he put in the breast-pocket the Urim and the Thummim. And he put the miter on his head. Also he put the golden plate, the holy crown, on the miter, on his forehead, even as the LORD commanded Moses. And Moses took the anointing oil and anointed the tabernacle and all that was in it, and sanctified them. And he sprinkled some of it on the altar seven times, and anointed the altar and all its vessels, both the laver and its base, to sanctify them. And he poured of the anointing oil on Aaron’s head and anointed him, to sanctify him. And Moses brought Aaron’s sons and put tunics on them, and girded them with girdles, and bound turbans on them, even as the LORD commanded Moses.

Again.  Who the fuck cares about breast pockets?

And he brought the young bull for the sin offering. And Aaron and his sons laid their hands on the head of the young bull for the sin offering. And he killed it. And Moses took the blood and put it on the horns of the altar all around with his finger, and purified the altar, and poured the blood at the bottom of the altar, and sanctified it, to make reconciliation on it. And he took all the fat on the inward parts, and the fold above the liver, and the two kidneys and their fat, and Moses burned it on the altar. But the young bull and its hide, its flesh and its dung, he burned with fire outside the camp, even as the LORD commanded Moses. And he brought the ram for the burnt offering. And Aaron and his sons laid their hands on the head of the ram. And he killed it. And Moses sprinkled the blood on the altar all around. And he cut the ram into pieces. And Moses burned the head and the pieces and the fat. And he washed the inward parts and the legs in water. And Moses burned the whole ram on the altar. It was a burnt sacrifice for a sweet savor, a fire offering to the LORD, even as the LORD commanded Moses. And he brought the second ram, the ram of consecration. And Aaron and his sons laid their hands on the head of the ram. And he killed it. And Moses took of the blood of it, and put it on the tip of Aaron’s right ear, and on the thumb of his right hand, and on the big toe of his right foot. And he brought Aaron’s sons, and Moses put the blood on the tip of their right ear, and on the thumbs of their right hands, and on the great toes of their right feet. And Moses sprinkled the blood on the altar all around. And he took the fat, and the fat tail, and all the fat on the inward parts, and the fold above the liver, and the two kidneys, and their fat, and the right shoulder. And he took one unleavened cake out of the basket of unleavened bread that was before the LORD, and a cake of oiled bread, and one wafer, and put them on the fat, and on the right shoulder. And he put all on Aaron’s hands, and on his sons’ hands, and waved them for a wave offering before the LORD. And Moses took them off their hands and burned them on the altar on the burnt offering. They were consecrations for a sweet savor. It is a fire offering to the LORD. And Moses took the breast and waved it for a wave offering before the LORD. It was Moses’ part of the ram of consecration, even as the LORD commanded Moses. And Moses took of the anointing oil, and of the blood which was on the altar, and sprinkled it on Aaron, and on his garments, and on his sons, and on his sons’ garments with him. And he sanctified Aaron, his garments, and his sons, and his sons’ garments with him.

This is third or fourth time I have read this disgusting passage.

And Moses said to Aaron and to his sons, Boil the flesh at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. And eat it there with the bread in the basket of consecrations, as I have commanded, saying, Aaron and his sons shall eat it. And that which remains of the flesh and of the bread you shall burn with fire. You shall not go out of the door of the tabernacle of the congregation seven days, until the days of your consecration are at an end. For He shall consecrate you seven days. As He has done this day, the LORD has commanded you to do, to make an atonement for you. And you shall remain at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation day and night seven days, and keep the charge of the LORD, so that you do not die. For so I am commanded. And Aaron and his sons did all the things which the LORD commanded by the hand of Moses.

Slightly reworded repeat.  

Leviticus 9
And it happened on the eighth day. Moses called Aaron and his sons, and the elders of Israel. And he said to Aaron, Take a young calf for a sin offering, and a ram without blemish for a burnt offering, and offer before the LORD. And speak to the sons of Israel, saying, Take a kid of the goats for a sin offering, and a calf and a lamb of the first year, all without blemish, for a burnt offering. Also take a young bull and a ram for peace offerings, to sacrifice before the LORD, and a food offering mixed with oil. For today the LORD will appear to you. And they brought that which Moses commanded before the tabernacle of the congregation. And all the congregation drew near and stood before the LORD. And Moses said, This is the thing which the LORD commanded that you should do. And the glory of the LORD shall appear to you. And Moses said to Aaron, Go to the altar, and offer your sin offering and your burnt offerings, and make an atonement for yourself and for the people. And offer the offering of the people, and make an atonement for them, even as the LORD commanded.

Why?  Why did they keep this passage?  

Aaron then went to the altar and killed the calf of the sin offering, which was for himself. And the sons of Aaron brought the blood to him. And he dipped his finger in the blood and put it on the horns of the altar, and poured out the blood at the bottom of the altar. But he burned the fat and the kidneys and the fold above the liver of the sin offering on the altar, even as the LORD commanded Moses. And he burned the flesh and the hide with fire outside the camp. And he killed the burnt offering. And Aaron’s sons presented to him the blood, which he sprinkled all around on the altar. And they presented the burnt offering to him, with the pieces of it, and the head. And he burned them on the altar. And he washed the inward parts and the legs, and burned them on the burnt offering on the altar. And he brought the people’s offering. And he took the goat, the sin offering for the people, and killed it and offered it for sin as the first. And he brought the burnt offering and offered it according to the ordinance. And he brought the food offering and took a handful of it, and burned it on the altar besides the burnt sacrifice of the morning. He also killed the young bull and the ram for a sacrifice of peace offerings for the people. And Aaron’s sons presented to him the blood, which he sprinkled on the altar all around. And they brought the fat of the young bull and of the ram, the fat tail, and that which covers the inward parts, and the kidneys, and the fold above the liver. And they put the fat on the breasts, and he burned the fat on the altar. And the breasts and the right shoulder Aaron waved for a wave offering before the Lord, as Moses commanded. And Aaron lifted up his hands toward the people, and blessed them, and came down from offering the sin offering and the burnt offering and peace offerings.

5th or 6th fucking time I have read this.

And Moses and Aaron went into the tabernacle of the congregation, and came out and blessed the people. And the glory of the LORD appeared to all the people. And there came a fire out from before the LORD, and burned up the burnt offering and the fat on the altar. And all the people saw and shouted and fell on their faces.

Fat flare up.  Anyone who has grilled has seen this.

Leviticus 10
And Nadab and Abihu, the sons of Aaron, each took his censer and put fire in it, and put incense on it, and offered strange fire before the LORD, which He had not commanded them not to do. And there went out fire from the LORD and devoured them, and they died before the LORD.

Make a small mistake, die in fire.

Then Moses said to Aaron, It is that which the LORD spoke, saying, I will be sanctified in them that come near me, and before all the people I will be glorified. And Aaron held his peace. And Moses called Mishael and Elzaphan, the sons of Uzziel, the uncle of Aaron, and said to them, Come near, carry your brothers from before the sanctuary out of the camp. And they came near and carried them in their coats out of the camp, as Moses had said. And Moses said to Aaron and to Eleazar and Ithamar his sons, Do not uncover your heads nor tear your clothes, lest you die, and lest He be angry on all the people. But let your brothers, the whole of Israel, mourn the burning which the LORD has kindled. And you shall not go out of the door of the tabernacle of the congregation, lest you die. For the anointing oil of the LORD is on you. And they did according to the word of Moses.

Careful, your LORD is an asshole.

And the LORD spoke to Aaron, saying, Do not drink wine nor strong drink, neither you nor your sons with you, when you go into the tabernacle of the congregation, lest you die, a statute forever throughout your generations. Even for a distinction between the holy and unholy, and between the unclean and clean and so that you may teach the sons of Israel all the statutes which the LORD has spoken to them by the hand of Moses.

Don’t get liquored up before heading to church.  The LORD will smite your ass.

And Moses spoke to Aaron, and to Eleazar and to Ithamar, his sons that were left, Take the food offering that remains of the offerings of the LORD made by fire, and eat it without leaven beside the altar. For it is most holy. And you shall eat in the holy place, because it is your due, and your sons’ due, of the fire offerings of the LORD made by fire. For so I am commanded. And the wave breast and heave shoulder you shall eat in a clean place, you, and your sons and your daughters with you. For they have been given for your portion and the portion of your sons out of the sacrifices of peace offerings of the sons of Israel. The heave shoulder and the wave breast they shall bring with the fire offerings of the fat, to wave for a wave offering before the LORD. And it shall be yours, and your sons’ with you, by a statute forever, even as the LORD has commanded. And Moses carefully looked for the goat of the sin offering. And behold, it was burned! And he was angry with Eleazar and Ithamar, the sons of Aaron left alive, saying, Why have you not eaten the sin offering in the holy place, since it is most holy, and He has given it to you to bear the iniquity of the congregation, to make atonement for them before the LORD? Behold! The blood of it was not brought within the holy place! You should indeed have eaten it in the sanctuary, as I commanded. And Aaron said to Moses, Behold, this day they have offered their sin offering and their burnt offering before the LORD. And such things have happened to me. And if I had eaten the sin offering today, should it have been accepted in the sight of the LORD? And Moses heard, and it was good in his eyes.

I swear to this nonexistent god, if I read about one more fucking burnt, blood, etc. offering I will buy a Bible and piss on it,  I thought Exodus was bad, Leviticus is fucking awful.  Same thing over and fucking over.  1/4 of the way through with no plot advancement.