Before we start, I have to be honest, this task really sucks. I really want to get through this Bible, and I am sure I will, but, my goodness, it really fucking sucks. There is no way someone reads every word of this book. Chronicles is a complete rehash of Samuel 1, 2, and Kings 1 and 2, as far as I can tell. In addition, according to WordPerfect, this is 43 pages of single spaced text, 12 point font. Since it is more interesting, I just wanted to let you know I read and add my comments in WordPerfect 6.2 for DOS. It works great under DosBox, and is probably the best word processor ever made. I run in text mode, so it is much easier on the eyes. Also, a shout out to LibreOffice and its ability to read and properly format WordPerfect files. I am sure I could just save in text or rich text, but the writes are pretty darn slow in non WordPerfect formats.
And Solomon the son of David was made strong in his kingdom, and the LORD his God was with him and made him very great. And Solomon spoke to all Israel, to the commanders of thousands and of hundreds, and to the judges, and to every governor in all Israel, the chief of the fathers. And Solomon and all the congregation with him went to the high place at Gibeon. For there was the tabernacle of the congregation of God, which Moses the servant of the LORD had made in the wilderness. But the ark of God David had brought up from Kirjath-jearim to the place which David had prepared for it, for he had pitched a tent for it at Jerusalem. And he put the bronze altar which Bezaleel the son of Uri, the son of Hur, had made before the tabernacle of the LORD. And Solomon and the congregation of the LORD sought to it. And Solomon went up there to the bronze altar before the LORD, which was at the tabernacle of the congregation, and offered a thousand burnt offerings on it. In that night God appeared to Solomon and said to him, Ask what I shall give you. And Solomon said to God, You have shown great mercy to David my father, and have made me to reign in his stead. Now, O LORD God, Your promise to David my father has been fulfilled. For You have made me king over a people like the dust of the earth in multitude. Give me now wisdom and knowledge that I may go out and come in before this people. For who can judge this Your great people? And God said to Solomon, Because this was in your heart, and you have not asked riches, wealth, nor honor, nor the life of your enemies, nor yet have asked for long life but have asked wisdom and knowledge for yourself that you may judge My people, over whom I have made you king. wisdom and knowledge is granted to you. And I will give you riches and wealth and honor, such as none of the kings have had that have been before you, nor shall any after you have the like.
Fuck, is all of Chronicles just a rehash?
And Solomon came from the high place that was at Gibeon to Jerusalem, from before the tabernacle of the congregation, and reigned over Israel. And Solomon gathered chariots and horsemen. And he had a thousand and four hundred chariots, and twelve thousand horsemen which he placed in the chariot cities, and with the king at Jerusalem. And the king made silver and gold at Jerusalem like stones, and he made cedar trees as plentiful as the sycamore trees in the valley. And Solomon had horses brought out of Egypt and Kue. The king’s merchants received them from Kue at a price. And they carried up, and brought forth out of Egypt a chariot for six hundred shekels of silver, and a horse for a hundred and fifty. And so they brought out horses for all the kings of the Hittites, and for the kings of Syria, by their hands.
Oh, wow, new information…the exact number of chariots, horsemen, and blah blah blah.
And Solomon purposed to build a house for the name of the LORD, and a house for his kingdom. And Solomon counted out seventy thousand men to bear burdens, and eighty thousand as cutters in the mountains, and three thousand and six hundred to oversee them. And Solomon sent to Hiram the king of Tyre, saying, As you dealt with David my father, and sent him cedars to build him a house to dwell in, so deal with me. Behold, I am building a house to the name of the LORD my God, to dedicate it to Him, and to burn before Him sweet incense, and for the continual showbread, and for the burnt offerings morning and evening, on the sabbaths, and on the new moons, and on the solemn feasts of the LORD our God. This is an ordinance forever to Israel. And the house which I am building is great. For our God is great above all gods. But who is able to build Him a house, since the heavens and the heaven of heavens cannot contain Him? Who am I then, that I should build Him a house, except only to burn sacrifice before Him? And now send me a man skillful to work in gold, and in silver, and in bronze, and in iron, and in purple, and crimson, and blue, and one who is skillful to engrave with the skillful men who are with me in Judah and in Jerusalem, whom David my father provided. And send me cedar trees, fir trees, and algum trees out of Lebanon. For I know that your servants are skillful to cut timber in Lebanon. And, behold, my servants shall be with your servants in order to prepare plenty of timber for me. For the house which I am about to build shall be great and wonderful. And behold, I will give to the hewers, those who cut timber, twenty thousand measures of beaten wheat, and twenty thousand measures of barley, and twenty thousand baths of wine, and twenty thousand baths of oil.
Rehashed Home Depot receipt.
And Hiram the king of Tyre answered in writing, which he sent to Solomon, Because the LORD has loved His people, He has made you king over them. And Hiram said, Blessed be the LORD God of Israel, who made heaven and earth, who has given to David the king a wise son blessed with judgment and understanding, who might build a house for the LORD and a house for his kingdom. And now I have sent a skillful man blessed with understanding, of Hiram my father, the son of a woman of the daughters of Dan, and his father was a man of Tyre, skillful to work in gold, and in silver, in bronze, in iron, in stone, and in timber, in purple, in blue, and in fine linen, and in crimson. He also can engrave any kind of engraving, and can invent every device which shall be put to him, with your skillful men, and with the skillful men of my lord David your father. And now the wheat, and the barley, the oil, and the wine, which my lord has spoken of, let him send to his servants. And we will cut wood out of Lebanon, as much as you shall need. And we will bring it to you in floats by sea to Joppa. And you shall carry it up to Jerusalem. And Solomon numbered all the aliens in the land of Israel, according to the numbering with which David his father had numbered them. And they were found to be a hundred and fifty-three thousand and six hundred. And he set seventy thousand of them to be bearers of burdens, and eighty thousand to be cutters in the mountains, and three thousand and six hundred overseers to set the people to work.
Rehashed, boring details.
And Solomon began to build the house of the LORD at Jerusalem in Mount Moriah, where He appeared to David his father, in the place that David had prepared in the threshing-floor of Ornan the Jebusite. And he began to build in the second day of the second month, in the fourth year of his reign. Now these are the foundations Solomon laid, to build the house of God. The length by cubits according to the first measure, sixty cubits, and the breadth twenty cubits. And the porch on the front, the length according to the breadth of the house, was twenty cubits, and the height a hundred and twenty. And he overlaid it inside with pure gold. And he made the ceiling of the greater house with fir wood, which he overlaid with fine gold. And he set palm trees and chains on it. And he covered the house with precious stones for beauty. And the gold was gold of Parvaim. He also overlaid the house, the beams, the posts, and its walls, and its doors, with gold. And he engraved cherubs on the walls. And he made the Most Holy Place. Its length was by the front, of the breadth of the house, twenty cubits, and its breadth, twenty cubits. And he overlaid it with fine gold, to six hundred talents. And the weight of the nails was fifty shekels of gold. And he overlaid the upper rooms with gold.
Copy and paste, anyone?
And in the most holy house he made two cherubs of carved work, and overlaid them with gold. And the wings of the cherubs were twenty cubits long. One wing was five cubits, touching to the wall of the house; and the other wing five cubits, touching to the wing of the other cherub. And one wing of the other cherub was five cubits, touching to the wall of the house; and the other wing five cubits, touching to the wing of the other cherub. The wings of these cherubims spread themselves forth twenty cubits. And they stood on their feet, and their faces were inward. And he made the veil of blue, and purple, and crimson, and fine linen, and worked cherubs on it. He also made two pillars of thirty-five cubits high in front of the house, and the capital on the tops of each of them was five cubits. And he made chains, as in the holy place, and put them on the tops of the pillars. And he made a hundred pomegranates and put them on the chains. And he reared up the pillars before the temple, one on the right hand and the other on the left. And he called the name of the one on the right Jachin, and the name of the one on the left Boaz.
Copy and paste, anyone?
And he made an altar of bronze. Twenty cubits was the length of it, and twenty cubits its breadth, and ten cubits its height. And He cast a sea of melted bronze, ten cubits from brim to brim. It was round, and five cubits was its height. And a line of thirty cubits went around it. And under it was the shape of oxen, under it and all around it for ten cubits, going all around the sea. Two rows of oxen were cast when it was cast. It stood on twelve oxen, three facing the north, and three facing the west, and three facing the south, and three facing the east. And the sea was set above on them, and all their hinder parts were inward. And its thickness was a handbreadth, and its brim like the work of the brim of a cup, with flowers of lilies. It received and held three thousand baths. He also made ten lavers, and put five on the right hand, and five on the left, to wash in them. They washed in them such things as they offered for the burnt offering. But the sea was for the priests to wash in. And he made ten lampstands of gold according to their form, and set them in the temple, five on the right hand, and five on the left. And He made ten tables, and placed them in the temple, five on the right hand, and five on the left. And he made a hundred basins of gold. And he made the court of the priests, and the great court, and doors for the court, and overlaid their doors with bronze. And he set the sea on the right side of the east end, over against the south.
Copy and paste, anyone?
And Hiram made the pots, and the shovels, and the basins. And Hiram finished the work that he was to make for king Solomon for the house of God: the two pillars, and the bowls, and the capitals on the tops of the two pillars, and the two wreaths to cover the two bowls of the capitals which were on the top of the pillars, and four hundred pomegranates on the two wreaths, two rows of pomegranates on each wreath, to cover the two bowls of the capitals on the pillars. He also made bases, and he made lavers on the bases; and one sea, and twelve oxen under it. And Hiram made the pots, and the shovels, and the flesh-hooks, and all their vessels of burnished bronze for king Solomon for the house of the LORD. In the plain of Jordan the king cast them, in the clay ground between Succoth and Zeredathah. And Solomon made all these vessels in great abundance. For the weight of the bronze could not be found out. And Solomon made all the vessels for the house of God, and the golden altar, and the tables on which the showbread was set; and the lampstands of pure gold with their lamps, so that they should burn according to the law before the holy place; and the flowers, and the lamps, and the tongs of gold, perfect gold; and the snuffers, and the basins, and the spoons, and the censers, of pure gold; and the entrance of the house, the inner doors of it for the Holy of Holies, and the doors of the house of the temple, of gold.
Copy and paste, anyone? Fuck me, really? This was the worst part of Samuel (I think) and here he have it…again.
And all the work that Solomon made for the house of the LORD was finished. And Solomon brought in the things that David his father had dedicated. And he put the silver and the gold, and all the vessels among the treasures of the house of God. And Solomon gathered the elders of Israel, and all the heads of the tribes, the chief of the fathers of the sons of Israel, to Jerusalem, to bring up the ark of the covenant of the LORD out of the city of David, which is Zion. And all the men of Israel gathered themselves to the king in the feast in the seventh month. And all the elders of Israel came. And the Levites took up the ark. And they brought up the ark, and the tabernacle of the congregation, and all the holy vessels that were in the tabernacle. The priests and the Levites brought these up. And king Solomon, and all the congregation of Israel that were gathered to him before the ark, sacrificed sheep and oxen which could not be counted nor numbered for multitude. And the priests brought in the ark of the covenant of the LORD to its place, to the Holy of Holies in the house, into the most holy place, under the wings of the cherubs. For the cherubs spread out their wings over the ark, and the cherubs covered the ark and its staves above. And they drew out the staves so that the ends of the staves were seen from the ark before the oracle. But they were not seen outside. And there it is until this day. Nothing was in the ark except the two tables which Moses put in it at Horeb, when the LORD made a covenant with the sons of Israel when they came out of Egypt.
Copy and paste, anyone?
And it happened as the priests came out of the holy place, for all the priests present were sanctified, and did not wait by division. And the Levitical singers, all of them of Asaph, of Heman, of Jeduthun, with their sons and their brothers, being clothed in white linen, having cymbals and with harps and lyres, stood at the east end of the altar, and with them a hundred and twenty priests sounding with trumpets, and they were as one to the trumpeters and to the singers, to make one sound to be heard in praising and thanking the LORD; and as they lifted up their voice with the trumpets and cymbals and instruments of music, and praised the LORD, saying, For He is good, for His mercy endures forever, the house was filled with a cloud, the house of the LORD, so that the priests could not stand to minister because of the cloud, for the glory of the LORD had filled the house of God!
Copy and paste, anyone? Trumpets and cymbals. Yippiee.
And Solomon said, The LORD has said that He would dwell in the thick darkness. And I have built a house for You to live in, and a place for Your dwelling forever. And the king turned his face and blessed the whole congregation of Israel. And all the congregation of Israel stood. And he said, Blessed be the LORD God of Israel, who has with His hands fulfilled that which He spoke with His mouth to my father David, saying, From the day that I brought My people out of the land of Egypt I have not chosen any city among all the tribes of Israel to build a house in, so that My name might be there. Nor have I chosen any man to be a ruler over My people Israel. But now I have chosen Jerusalem, so that My name might be there, and now I have chosen David to be over My people Israel. And it was in the heart of David my father to build a house for the name of the LORD God of Israel. But the LORD said to David my father, Because it was in your heart to build a house for My name, you did well in that it was in your heart. But you shall not build the house; but your son, who shall come forth out of your loins, shall build the house for My name. And the LORD has lifted up His word that He has spoken. For I have risen up in place of David my father, and am set on the throne of Israel, as the LORD promised, and I have built the house for the name of the LORD God of Israel. And I have put the ark in it, in which is the covenant of the LORD which He made with the sons of Israel.
Rehash of a rehash of a rehash of a rehash. Fuck me.
And he stood before the altar of the LORD in the presence of all the congregation of Israel, and spread forth his hands. For Solomon had made a bronze scaffold, five cubits long and five cubits broad and three cubits high. And he had set it in the midst of the court. And he stood on it, and kneeled down on his knees before all the congregation of Israel, and spread forth his hands toward Heaven. And he said, O LORD God of Israel, there is no God like You in Heaven or in earth. You keep Your covenant and show mercy to Your servants who walk before You with all their hearts. You have kept with Your servant David my father that which You have promised him. And You spoke with Your mouth, and have fulfilled it with Your hand, as it is this day. And now, O LORD God of Israel, keep with Your servant David my father that which You have promised him, saying, There shall not fail you a man in My sight to sit on the throne of Israel, if only your sons take heed to their way to walk in My law, as you have walked before Me. And now, O LORD God of Israel, let Your word be proven true, which You have spoken to Your servant David. But truly will God in deed dwell with men on the earth? Behold, Heaven and the heaven of heavens cannot contain You! How much less this house which I have built? And You have turned toward the prayer of Your servant, and to his cry, O LORD my God, to listen to the cry and the prayer which Your servant prays before You. I pray that Your eyes may be open on this house day and night, on the place of which You have said that You would put Your name there, to listen to the prayer which Your servant prays toward this place. And You will listen to the cries of Your servant, and of Your people Israel, which they shall pray toward this place, and You will from Your dwelling-place, from Heaven, and shall hear and forgive. If a man sins against his neighbor, and if an oath is laid on him to make him swear, and if the oath comes before Your altar in this house, then hear from Heaven, and do, and judge Your servants by repaying the wicked, by bringing his way back on his own head, and by justifying the righteous, by giving to him according to his righteousness. And if Your people Israel be put to the worse before the enemy because they have sinned against You, and if they shall return and confess Your name, and shall pray and cry before You in this house, then hear from Heaven, and forgive the sin of Your people Israel, and bring them again into the land which You give to them and to their fathers. When the heavens shall be shut up, and there is no rain because they have sinned against You; if they pray toward this place, and confess Your name, and turn from their sin when You afflict them, then hear from Heaven and forgive the sin of Your servants and of Your people Israel, when You have taught them the good way in which they should walk. And send rain on Your land which You have given to Your people for an inheritance. If there is famine in the land, if there is a plague, if blasting or mildew, locusts or ravagers, if their enemies have distressed them in the gates of their land, with any plague and any sickness; whatever prayer, whatever cry shall be made by any man, or by all Your people Israel, when everyone shall know his own plague and his own grief, and shall spread forth his hands in this house; then hear from Heaven, Your dwelling-place, and forgive, and give to every man according to all his ways, whose heart You know. For You only know the hearts of the sons of men. Do this so that they may fear You, to walk in Your ways, as long as they live in the land which You gave to our fathers. And also to the stranger who is not of Your people Israel, but has come from a far country for Your great name’s sake, and Your mighty hand, and Your stretched out arm, if they come and pray in this house; then hear from Heaven, from Your dwelling-place, and do according to all that the stranger calls to You for, so that all people of the earth may know Your name, and fear You, as Your people Israel, and may know that this house which I have built is called by Your name. If Your people go out to war against their enemies by the way that You shall send them, and if they pray to You toward this city which You have chosen, and the house which I have built for Your name, then hear from Heaven their prayer and their cry and maintain their cause. If they sin against You (for there is no man who does not sin), and if You are angry with them and deliver them up before their enemies, and they carry them away captives to a land far off or near, yet if they think within themselves in the land where they are carried captive, and turn and pray to You in the land of their captivity, saying, We have sinned, we have done wrong and have dealt wickedly if they return to You with all their heart and with all their soul in the land of their captivity where they have carried them captives, and if they pray toward their land which You gave to their fathers and toward the city which You have chosen, and toward the house which I have built for Your name; then hear from Heaven, from Your dwelling-place, their prayer and their cries, and maintain their cause, and forgive Your people who have sinned against You. Now, my God, I beseech You, let Your eyes be open and Your ears hear the prayer made in this place. And now arise, O LORD God, into Your resting-place, You, and the ark of Your strength. Let Your priests, O LORD God, be clothed with salvation, and let Your saints rejoice in goodness. O LORD God, do not turn away the face of Your anointed. Remember the good deeds of David Your servant.
And when Solomon had made an end of praying, the fire came down from Heaven and consumed the burnt offering and the sacrifices. And the glory of the LORD filled the house. And the priests could not enter into the house of the LORD because the glory of the LORD had filled the LORD’s house. And when all the sons of Israel saw how the fire came down, and the glory of the LORD on the house, they bowed their faces to the ground on the pavement, and worshiped and praised the LORD, saying, For He is good, for His mercy endures forever. And the king and all the people offered sacrifices before the LORD. And king Solomon offered a sacrifice of twenty-two thousand oxen, and a hundred and twenty thousand sheep. And the king and all the people dedicated the house of God. And the priests waited on their offices, and the Levites with instruments of music of the LORD, which David the king had made to praise the LORD, because His mercy endures forever, when David praised by their ministry. And the priests sounded trumpets before them, and all Israel stood. And Solomon made the middle of the court before the house of the LORD holy. For there he offered burnt offerings and the fat of the peace offerings, because the bronze altar which Solomon had made was not able to receive the burnt offerings, and the food offerings, and the fat. And at the same time Solomon kept the feast seven days, and all Israel with him, a very great congregation, from the entering in of Hamath to the river of Egypt. And in the eighth day they made a solemn assembly. For they kept the dedication of the altar seven days, and the feast seven days. And on the twenty-third day of the seventh month he sent the people away into their tents, glad and merry in heart for the goodness that the LORD had shown to David, and to Solomon, and to Israel His people. So Solomon finished the house of the LORD, and the king’s house. And all that came into Solomon’s heart to make in the house of the LORD, and in his own house, he did with success.
And the LORD appeared to Solomon by night, and said to him, I have heard your prayer, and have chosen this place to Myself for a house of sacrifice. If I shut up the heavens, and there is no rain, or if I command the locusts to devour the land, or if I send a plague among My people; if My people, who are called by My name, shall humble themselves and pray, and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from Heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land. Now My eyes shall be open, and My ears shall be open to the prayer of this place. For now I have chosen and sanctified this house, so that My name may be there forever. And My eyes and My heart shall be there forever. And you, if you will walk before me, as David your father walked, and do according to all that I have commanded you, and shall observe My statutes and My judgments, then I will make the throne of your kingdom sure, as I have covenanted with David your father, saying, There shall not fail you a man to be ruler in Israel. But if you turn away and forsake My statutes and My commandments which I have set before you, and if you shall go and serve other gods and worship them, then I will pluck them up by the roots out of My land which I have given them. And this house which I have sanctified for My name, I will cast out of My sight, and I will make it to be a proverb and a byword among all nations. And this house, which is high, shall be a wonder to everyone who passes by it, so that they shall shudder and say, Why has the LORD done this to this land and to this house? And it shall be answered, Because they forsook the LORD God of their fathers who brought them forth out of the land of Egypt, and laid hold on other gods and worshiped them and served them. Therefore He has brought all this evil on them.
How many times will this be repeated? Same thing, again.
And it happened at the end of twenty years, Solomon had built the house of the LORD and his own house. As to the cities that Hiram had given to Solomon, Solomon had built them, and he caused the sons of Israel to live there. And Solomon went to Hamath-zobah, and prevailed against it. And he built Tadmor in the wilderness, and all the store cities which he built in Hamath. And he built Beth-horon the upper and Beth-horon the lower, fenced cities with walls, gates, and bars. And he built Baalath, and all the store cities which Solomon had, and all the chariot cities, and the cities of the horsemen, and all that Solomon desired to build in Jerusalem, and in Lebanon, and in all the land of his dominion. All the people who were left of the Hittites, and the Amorites, and the Perizzites, and the Hivites, and the Jebusites, who were not of Israel, of their sons who were left after them in the land, whom the sons of Israel did not destroy, Solomon made them subject to forced labor until this day. And of the sons of Israel, Solomon did not make any servants for his work. But they were men of war, and commanders of his officers, and commanders of his chariots, and his horsemen. And these were the chief of king Solomon’s officers, two hundred and fifty who bore rule over the people. And Solomon brought up the daughter of Pharaoh out of the city of David to the house which he had built for her. For he said, My wife shall not dwell in the house of David king of Israel, because the places into which the ark of the LORD has come are holy.
And Solomon offered burnt offerings to the LORD on the altar of the LORD which he had built before the porch, even as the duty of every day required, offering according to the commandment of Moses, on the sabbaths and on the new moons, and on the solemn feasts, three times in the year, even in the Feast of Unleavened Bread, and in the Feast of Weeks, and in the Feast of Tabernacles. And according to the order of David his father, he appointed the divisions of the priests to their service, and the Levites to their charges, to praise and minister before the priests, as the duty of every day required; and the gatekeepers by their divisions at every gate; for so David the man of God had commanded. And they did not depart from the command of the king to the priests and Levites concerning any matter, or concerning the treasures. And all the work of Solomon was prepared until the day of the foundation of the house of the LORD, and until it was finished. And the house of the LORD was complete. And Solomon went to Ezion-geber, and to Eloth, at the seaside in the land of Edom. And Hiram sent ships to him by the hand of his servants, and servants who knew the sea. And they went with the servants of Solomon to Ophir, and took four hundred and fifty talents of gold from there, and brought them to king Solomon.
Repeat. Levites are special.
And the queen of Sheba heard of the fame of Solomon, and came to test Solomon with hard questions at Jerusalem, with a very great company, and camels that carried spices, and gold in abundance, and precious stones. And she came in to Solomon and spoke with him of all that was in her heart. And Solomon told her all her questions. And there was nothing hidden from Solomon which he did not tell her. And the queen of Sheba saw the wisdom of Solomon, and the house that he had built, and the food of his table, and the sitting of his servants, the attendance of his ministers, and their apparel, and his cupbearers and their apparel, and his burnt offerings that he offered up in the house of the LORD, there was no more spirit in her. And she said to the king, The word that I heard in my own land of your acts and of your wisdom is true. But I did not believe their words until I came, and my eyes had seen. And behold, the one half of the greatness of your wisdom was not told me. You are greater than the fame which I heard. Happy are your men, and happy are these your servants who stand always before you and hear your wisdom. Blessed be the LORD your God, who delighted in you to set you on His throne to be king for the LORD your God. Because your God loved Israel to establish them forever, therefore He made you king over them to do judgment and justice. And she gave the king a hundred and twenty talents of gold, and an abundance of spices, and precious stones. And there has not been any such spice as the queen of Sheba gave king Solomon. And also the servants of Hiram, and the servants of Solomon who brought gold from Ophir, brought algum trees and precious stones. And the king made terraces to the house of the LORD with the algum trees, and terraces to the king’s palace, and lyres and harps for singers. And there were none such seen before in the land of Judah. And King Solomon gave to the queen of Sheba all her desire, whatever she asked, besides what she had brought to the king. And she returned and went away to her own land, she and her servants.
Repeat. This has to be copied verbatum.
And the weight of gold that came to Solomon in one year was six hundred and sixty-six talents of gold, besides that from the traders, and that the merchants brought. And all the kings of Arabia and governors of the country brought gold and silver to Solomon. And king Solomon made two hundred targets of beaten gold. Six hundred shekels of gold went to one target. And he made three hundred shields of beaten gold. Three hundred shekels of gold went to one shield. And the king put them in the house of the forest of Lebanon. And the king made a great throne of ivory and overlaid it with pure gold. And there were six steps to the throne, with a footstool of gold. fastened to the throne. And there were stays on each side of the sitting place, and two lions standing by the stays. And twelve lions stood there on the one side, and on the other, on the six steps. There was not the like made in any kingdom. And all the drinking vessels of king Solomon were of gold, and all the vessels of the house of the forest of Lebanon were of pure gold. None were of silver. It was not prized in the days of Solomon. For the king’s ships went to Tarshish with the servants of Hiram. Once every three years the ships of Tarshish came bringing gold and silver, ivory, and apes, and peacocks. And king Solomon was greater than all the kings of the earth in riches and wisdom. And all the kings of the earth sought the presence of Solomon, to hear his wisdom that God had put in his heart. And they each brought his present, vessels of silver and vessels of gold, and clothing, weapons, and spices, horses, and mules, a ration year by year. And Solomon had four thousand stalls for horses and chariots, and twelve thousand horsemen, whom he put in the chariot cities and with the king at Jerusalem. And he reigned over all the kings from the River even to the land of the Philistines, and to the border of Egypt. And the king made silver in Jerusalem like stones, and he made cedar trees as the sycamore trees in the low plains. And they brought to Solomon horses out of Egypt and out of all lands. And the rest of the acts of Solomon, first and last, are they not written in the book of Nathan the prophet, and in the prophecy of Ahijah of Shiloh, and in the visions of Iddo the seer against Jeroboam the son of Nebat? And Solomon reigned forty years in Jerusalem over all Israel. And Solomon slept with his fathers, and he was buried in the city of David his father. And his son Rehoboam reigned in his place.
Repeat. Home Depot and grocery receipt…again.
And Rehoboam went to Shechem. For all Israel had come to Shechem to make him king. And it happened when Jeroboam the son of Nebat, who was in Egypt where he had fled from the presence of Solomon the king, heard it, Jeroboam returned out of Egypt. And they sent and called him. And Jeroboam and all Israel came and spoke to Rehoboam, saying, Your father made our yoke heavy. And now lighten the heavy service of your father, and his heavy yoke which he put on us, and we will serve you. And he said to them, Come again to me after three days. And the people departed. And king Rehoboam consulted with the old men who had stood before Solomon his father while he yet lived, saying, What advice do you give me to return answer to this people? And they spoke to him saying, If you are kind to this people and please them, and speak good words to them, they will be your servants forever. But he departed from the advice which the old men gave him and listened to the young men who were brought up with him, who stood before him. And he said to them, What advice do you give that we may return answer to this people, who have spoken to me, saying, Lighten the yoke which your father put on us? And the young men who were brought up with him spoke to him saying, In this way shall you answer the people who spoke to you, saying, Your father made our yoke heavy, but you lighten our yoke, this you shall say to them, My little finger shall be thicker than my father’s loins. And now my father put a heavy yoke on you, and I will surely add to your yoke. My father chastised you with whips, but I will chastise you with scorpions.
Repeat. This wording would be great, except we have heard it several times already.
And Jeroboam and all the people came to Rehoboam on the third day as the king commanded, saying, Come again to me on the third day. And the king answered them roughly. And king Rehoboam departed from the advice of the old men, and answered them after the advice of the young men, saying, My father made your yoke heavy, but I will add to it. My father chastised you with whips, but I will chastise you with scorpions. And the king did not listen to the people, for the revolution was from God so that the LORD might perform His word which He spoke by the hand of Ahijah of Shiloh to Jeroboam the son of Nebat. And all Israel saw that the king would not listen to them, and the people answered the king saying, What part do we have in David? And we have no inheritance in the son of Jesse! Every man to your tents, O Israel! Now, David, see to your own house. And all Israel went to their tents. As for the sons of Israel who lived in the cities of Judah, Rehoboam reigned over them. And king Rehoboam sent Hadoram, who was over the forced labor. And the sons of Israel stoned him with stones so that he died. But king Rehoboam was warned to get up into his chariot to flee to Jerusalem. And Israel rebelled against the house of David until this day.
And Rehoboam came to Jerusalem and gathered a hundred and eighty thousand chosen warriors from the house of Judah, to fight against Israel, so that he might bring the kingdom again to Rehoboam. But the word of the LORD came to Shemaiah the man of God, saying, Speak to Rehoboam the son of Solomon, king of Judah, and to all Israel in Judah and Benjamin, saying, So says the LORD, You shall not go up nor fight against your brothers. Let every man return to his house. For this thing is done by Me. And they obeyed the words of the LORD, and returned from going against Jeroboam. And Rehoboam lived in Jerusalem and built cities for defense in Judah. And he built Bethlehem, and Etam, and Tekoa, and Beth-zur, and Shoco, and Adullam, and Gath, and Mareshah, and Ziph, and Adoraim, and Lachish, and Azekah, and Zorah, and Aijalon, and Hebron, which are in Judah and in Benjamin, fortified cities. And he fortified the strongholds and put commanders in them, and stores of food, and of oil and wine. And he put in each separate city shields and spears, and made them very strong, and Judah and Benjamin were his.
180,000 troops, sure you have them, sure you do.
And the priests and the Levites in all Israel presented themselves to him out of all their borders. For the Levites left their open lands and their possession, and came to Judah and Jerusalem. For Jeroboam and his sons had cast them off from executing the priests’ office to the LORD. And he ordained priests for himself for the high places, and for the devils, and for the calves which he had made. And after them, those who gave their hearts to seek the LORD God of Israel, out of all the tribes of Israel, came to Jerusalem to sacrifice to the LORD God of their fathers. And they made the kingdom of Judah stronger, and made Rehoboam the son of Solomon strong for three years. For three years they walked in the way of David and Solomon. And Rehoboam took Mahalath the daughter of Jerimoth the son of David as a wife for himself, and Abihail the daughter of Eliab the son of Jesse, who bore him sons, Jeush, and Shamariah, and Zaham. And after her he took Maachah the daughter of Absalom, who bore Abijah to him, and Attai, and Ziza, and Shelomith. And Rehoboam loved Maachah the daughter of Absalom above all his wives and his concubines (for he took eighteen wives and sixty concubines, and had twenty-eight sons and sixty daughters). And Rehoboam made Abijah the son of Maachah the chief, to be ruler among his brothers, in order to make him king. And he dealt wisely and dispersed all his sons throughout all the lands of Judah and Benjamin, to all the fortified cities. And he gave them food in abundance. And he demanded many wives.
Repeat. Also, ‘traditional’ marriage. And he demanded many wives.
And it happened when Rehoboam had established the kingdom, and had made himself strong, he departed from the law of the LORD, and all Israel with him. And it happened in the fifth year of king Rehoboam, Shishak king of Egypt came up against Jerusalem, because they had sinned against the LORD with twelve hundred chariots and sixty thousand horsemen. And the people who came with him out of Egypt were without number: Lubim, the Sukkiim, and the Ethiopians. And he took the fortified cities in Judah, and came to Jerusalem. And Shemaiah the prophet came to Rehoboam, and to the rulers of Judah who were gathered to Jerusalem because of Shishak. And he said to them, So says the LORD, You have forsaken Me, and therefore I also have left you in the hand of Shishak. And the rulers of Israel and the king humbled themselves. And they said, The LORD is righteous. And when the LORD saw that they humbled themselves, the word of the LORD came to Shemaiah, saying, They have humbled themselves. I will not destroy them, but I will give them some deliverance. And My wrath shall not be poured out on Jerusalem by the hand of Shishak. But they shall be his servants, so that they may know My service, and the service of the kings of the countries. And Shishak king of Egypt came up against Jerusalem and took away the treasures of the house of the LORD, and the treasures of the king’s house. He took all. And he carried away the shields of gold which Solomon had made. In place of these king Rehoboam made shields of bronze, and gave them into the hands of the chief of the guard who kept the entrance of the king’s house. And when the king entered into the house of the LORD, the guard came and carried them and brought them again into the guardroom. And when he humbled himself, the wrath of the LORD turned from him so that He would not destroy him altogether. And also things went well in Judah.
And king Rehoboam strengthened himself at Jerusalem, and reigned. For Rehoboam was forty-one years old when he began to reign, and he reigned seventeen years in Jerusalem, the city which the LORD had chosen out of all the tribes of Israel to put His name there. And his mother’s name was Naamah the Ammonitess. And he did the evil because he did not prepare his heart to seek the LORD. And the acts of Rehoboam, first and last, are they not written in the book of Shemaiah the prophet, and Iddo the seer concerning genealogies? And the wars of Rehoboam and Jeroboam lasted all their days. And Rehoboam slept with his fathers, and was buried in the city of David. And his son Abijah reigned in his place.
And in the eighteenth year of king Jeroboam Abijah began to reign over Judah. He reigned three years in Jerusalem. His mother’s name also was Michaiah the daughter of Uriel of Gibeah. And there was war between Abijah and Jeroboam. And Abijah set the battle in order with an army of mighty men of war, four hundred thousand chosen men. Jeroboam also set the battle in order against him with eight hundred thousand chosen men, mighty men of valor. And Abijah stood up on mount Zemaraim, in the hills of Ephraim, and said, Hear me, Jeroboam and all Israel. Should you not know that the LORD God of Israel gave the kingdom over Israel to David forever, to him and to his sons by a covenant of salt? Yet Jeroboam the son of Nebat, the servant of Solomon the son of David, has risen up and has rebelled against his lord. And there are gathered to him vain men, the sons of Belial, and have made themselves strong against Rehoboam the son of Solomon, and Rehoboam was young and tenderhearted and could not withstand them. And now you think to withstand the kingdom of the LORD in the hands of the sons of David. And you are a great multitude, and there are with you golden calves which Jeroboam made you for gods. Have you not cast out the priests of the LORD, the sons of Aaron, and the Levites, and have made priests to yourselves like the peoples of the lands? Whoever comes to consecrate himself with a young bull and seven rams, he may be a priest of those who are no gods. But as for us, Jehovah is our God, and we have not forsaken Him. And the priests who minister to the LORD are the sons of Aaron, and the Levites in the work. And they burn to the Lord every morning and every evening burnt sacrifices and sweet incense, and the showbread on the pure table, and the lampstand of gold with its lamps, to burn every evening. For we keep the charge of the LORD our God. But you have forsaken Him. And behold, God Himself is with us as Commander, and His priests with sounding trumpets to cry alarm against you. O sons of Israel, do not fight against the LORD God of your fathers, for you shall not prosper!
But Jeroboam caused an ambush to come around behind them, so that they were in front of Judah, and the ambush was behind them. And Judah turned, and, behold, the battle was before and behind. And they cried to the LORD, and the priests sounded with the trumpets. And the men of Judah shouted. And it happened as the men of Judah shouted, God struck Jeroboam and all Israel before Abijah and Judah. And the sons of Israel fled before Judah. And God delivered them into their hand. And Abijah and his people killed them with a great slaughter. And there fell down dead five hundred thousand chosen men of Israel. And the sons of Israel were humbled at that time, and the sons of Judah won because they relied on the LORD God of their fathers. And Abijah pursued Jeroboam, and took cities from him, Bethel with its villages, and Jeshanah with its villages, and Ephrain with its villages. And Jeroboam did not recover strength again in the days of Abijah. And the LORD struck him and he died. And Abijah became mighty, and married fourteen wives, and fathered twenty-two sons and sixteen daughters. And the rest of the acts of Abijah, and his ways, and his sayings, are written in the inquiry of the prophet Iddo.
And Abijah slept with his fathers, and they buried him in the city of David. And his son Asa reigned in his place. In his days the land was quiet ten years. And Asa did the good and right in the eyes of the LORD his God. For he took away the altars of the strange gods, and the high places, and broke down the images, and cut down the Asherahs. And he commanded Judah to seek the LORD God of their fathers, and to do the law and the commandment. He also took out of all the cities of Judah the high places and the images. And the kingdom was quiet before him. And he built fortified cities in Judah. For the land had rest, and he had no war in those years, because the LORD had given him rest. And he said to Judah, Let us build these cities and make walls around them, and towers, gates and bars, while the land is still before us. Because we have sought the LORD our God, we have sought, and He has given us rest on every side. And they built and were blessed. And Asa had an army which bore bucklers and spears, three hundred thousand out of Judah. And out of Benjamin there were two hundred and eighty thousand who bore shields and drew bows; all these mighty men of valor.
Repeat. 300,000 troops, bullshit.
And Zerah the Ethiopian came out against them with an army of a million men, and three hundred chariots. And he came to Mareshah. And Asa went out against him, and they set the battle in order in the valley of Zephathah at Mareshah. And Asa cried to the LORD his God and said, LORD, it is nothing with You to help, whether with many or with him who has no power. Help us, O LORD our God, for we rest on You, and in Your name we go against this multitude. O LORD, You are our God. Do not let man prevail against You. And the LORD struck the Cushites before Asa and before Judah. And the Cushites fled. And Asa and the people with him pursued them to Gerar. And the Cushites fell, for none was left alive of them. For they were destroyed before the LORD and before His army. And they carried away very much plunder. And they struck all the cities around Gerar, for the fear of the LORD came on them. And they plundered all the cities, for there was very much plunder in them. And they struck the tents of cattle, and carried away sheep and camels in abundance and returned to Jerusalem.
And the Spirit of God came on Azariah the son of Oded. And he went out to meet Asa, and said to him, Hear me, Asa, and all Judah and Benjamin. The LORD is with you while you are with Him. And if you seek Him, He will be found by you. But if you forsake Him, He will forsake you. And for a long time Israel had been without the true God, and without a teaching priest, and without law. And when they turned in their trouble to the LORD God of Israel, and sought Him, He was found by them. And in those times there was no peace to him who went out, nor to him who came in, but great tumult was on all the people of the lands. And nation was beaten by nation, and city by city, for God troubled them with every distress. But you be strong and do not let your hands be weak, for your work shall be rewarded.
And when Asa heard these words, and the prophecy of Oded the prophet, he took courage and put away the abominable idols out of all the land of Judah and Benjamin, and out of the cities which he had taken from mount Ephraim. And he renewed the altar of the LORD before the porch of the LORD. And he gathered all Judah and Benjamin, and the strangers with them out of Ephraim and Manasseh, and out of Simeon. For they fell to him out of Israel in great numbers, when they saw that the LORD his God was with him. And they gathered to Jerusalem in the third month, in the fifteenth year of the reign of Asa. And they offered to the LORD in that day part of the plunder which they had brought, seven hundred oxen and seven thousand sheep. And they entered into a covenant to seek the LORD God of their fathers with all their heart and with all their soul, and that whoever would not seek the LORD God of Israel should be put to death, whether small or great, whether man or woman. And they swore to the LORD with a loud voice, and with shouting, and with trumpets, and with ram’s horns. And all Judah rejoiced at the oath, for they had sworn with all their heart, and sought Him with their whole desire. And He was found by them, and the LORD gave them rest all around. And also as to Maachah the mother of Asa the king, he removed her from being queen mother, because she had made an idol in a grove. And Asa cut down her idol and stamped it and burned it at the brook Kidron. But the high places were not taken away out of Israel. But the heart of Asa was perfect all his days. And he brought into the house of God the things which his father had dedicated, and which he himself had dedicated, silver and gold and vessels. And there was no war to the thirty-fifth year of the reign of Asa.
Repeat. Suck my Asa.
In the thirty-sixth year of the reign of Asa, Baasha king of Israel came up against Judah, and built Ramah, so that he might let no one go out or come in to Asa king of Judah. And Asa brought out silver and gold from the treasures of the house of the LORD and of the king’s house and sent them to Ben-hadad king of Syria, who lived at Damascus, saying, A treaty between you and me, as there was between my father and your father. Behold, I have sent you silver and gold. Go, break your treaty with Baasha king of Israel, so that he may depart from me. And Ben-hadad listened to king Asa, and sent the commanders of his armies against the cities of Israel. And they struck Ijon and Dan, and Abel-maim, and all the store cities of Naphtali. And it happened when Baasha heard, he left off building Ramah, and let his work stop. And Asa the king took all Judah. And they carried away the stones of Ramah, and timber with which Baasha was building. And he built with it Geba and Mizpah.
Repeat. Lumber stolen.
And at that time Hanani the seer came to Asa king of Judah and said to him, Because you have relied on the king of Syria, and have not relied on the LORD your God, therefore the army of the king of Syria has escaped out of your hand. Were not the Cushites and the Libyans a huge army with many chariots and horsemen? Yet, because you relied on the LORD, he delivered them into your hand. For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro in all the whole earth to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is perfect toward Him. You have done foolishly in this; therefore from now on you shall have wars. And Asa was angry with the seer and put him in a prison-house. For he was in a rage with him because of this. And Asa oppressed some of the people at that time. And behold, the acts of Asa, first and last, lo, they are written in the Book of the Kings of Judah and Israel. And in the thirty-ninth year of his reign, Asa was diseased in his feet, until his disease was very grievous. Yet in his disease he did not seek to the LORD, but to the physicians. And Asa slept with his fathers and died in the forty-first year of his reign. And they buried him in his own tomb, which he had made for himself in the city of David, and laid him in the bed which was filled with sweet odors and kinds of spices prepared by the perfumers art. And they made a very great burning for him.
And Jehoshaphat his son reigned in his place. And he made himself strong against Israel. And he placed troops in all the fortified cities of Judah, and set troops in the land of Judah and in the cities of Ephraim which Asa his father had taken. And the LORD was with Jehoshaphat because he walked in the first ways of his father David and did not seek to Baals. But he looked to the God of his father, and walked in His commandments, and not after the doings of Israel. And the LORD made the kingdom sure in his hand. And all Judah brought presents to Jehoshaphat. And he had great riches and honor. And his heart was lifted up in the ways of the LORD. And he took away the high places and Asherahs out of Judah. And in the third year of his reign he sent to his rulers, to Benhail, and to Obadiah, and to Zechariah, and to Nethaneel, and to Michaiah, to teach in the cities of Judah. And with them he sent Levites, Shemaiah, and Nethaniah, and Zebadiah, and Asahel, and Shemiramoth, and Jehonathan, and Adonijah, and Tobijah, and Tob-adonijah, Levites. And with them he sent Elishama and Jehoram the priests. And they taught in Judah and had the book of the law of the LORD with them, and went around throughout all the cities of Judah and taught the people.
And the fear of the LORD fell on all the kingdoms of the lands around Judah, so that they did not make war against Jehoshaphat. And from the Philistines they brought Jehoshaphat presents and silver for tribute. Also the Arabians brought him flocks, seven thousand and seven hundred rams, and seven thousand and seven hundred he-goats. And Jehoshaphat became exceedingly great. And he built fortresses in Judah, and store cities. And he had much business in the cities of Judah. And the men of war, mighty men of valor, were in Jerusalem. And these were their numbers, for the house of their fathers from Judah, the commanders of thousands: Adnah the chief, and with him were three hundred thousand mighty men of valor. And on his hand, Jehohanan the chief, and with him were two hundred and eighty thousand. And on his hand, Amasiah the son of Zichri, who willingly offered himself to the LORD, and with him two hundred thousand mighty men of valor. And from Benjamin was Eliada, a mighty man of valor, and with him two hundred thousand men armed with bow and shield. And on his hand, Jehozabad, and with him a hundred and eighty thousand ready and prepared for war. These waited on the king, besides those whom the king put in the fortified cities throughout all Judah.
Repeat. Mighty men…
And Jehoshaphat had riches and honor in abundance, and he contracted a marriage with Ahab. And after some years he went down to Ahab to Samaria. And Ahab killed sheep and oxen in abundance for him, and for the people that were with him. And he persuaded him to go up with him to Ramoth-gilead. And Ahab king of Israel said to Jehoshaphat king of Judah, Will you go with me to Ramoth-gilead? And he answered him, I am as you, and my people are as your people, and we with you in the war.
So much animal sacrifice.
And Jehoshaphat said to the king of Israel, Please inquire at the word of the LORD today. And the king of Israel gathered four hundred men of the prophets and said to them, Shall we go to Ramoth-gilead to battle, or shall I wait? And they said, Go up, for God will deliver it into the king’s hand. But Jehoshaphat said, Is there not a prophet of Jehovah here besides, so that we might ask of Him? And the king of Israel said to Jehoshaphat, There is yet one man by whom we may inquire of the LORD. But I hate him, for he never prophesied good to me, but always evil. The same is Micaiah the son of Imla. And Jehoshaphat said, Let not the king say so. And the king of Israel called to a certain eunuch and said, Bring quickly Micaiah the son of Imla. And the king of Israel and Jehoshaphat king of Judah sat each of them on his throne, clothed in robes. And they sat in a grain floor at the entrance of the gate of Samaria. And all the prophets prophesied before them. And Zedekiah the son of Chenaanah had made horns of iron for himself. And he said, And says the LORD, With these you shall push Syria until they are crushed. And all the prophets prophesied so, saying, Go up to Ramoth-gilead and be blessed. For the LORD shall deliver it into the king’s hand. And the messenger who went to call Micaiah spoke to him, saying, Behold, the words of the prophets declare good to the king with one Mouth, and please let your word be like one of theirs, and speak good. And Micaiah said, As the Lord lives, even what my God says, that I will speak. And he came to the king. And the king said to him, Micaiah, shall we go to Ramoth-gilead to battle, or shall I wait? And he said, Go up and be blessed. And they shall be delivered into your hand. And the king said to him, How many times shall I warn you that you say nothing but the truth to me in the name of Jehovah? And he said, I saw all Israel scattered on the mountains, like sheep that have no shepherd. And the LORD said, These have no master; let them return, each man to his own house in peace. And the king of Israel said to Jehoshaphat, Did I not tell you he would not prophesy good concerning me, but evil? Again he said, And hear the word of the LORD. I saw the LORD sitting on His throne, and all the host of Heaven were standing on His right hand and on His left. And the LORD said, Who shall tempt Ahab king of Israel so that he may go up and fall at Ramoth-gilead? And one spoke saying in one way, and another saying in another way. And a spirit came out and stood before the LORD and said, I will tempt him. And the LORD said, With what? And he said, I will go out and be a lying spirit in the mouth of all his prophets. And the LORD said, You shall tempt him, and you are able. Go out and do so. And now behold, the LORD has put a lying spirit in the mouth of these your prophets, and the LORD has spoken evil against you. And Zedekiah the son of Chenaanah came near and struck Micaiah on the cheek. And he said, Which way did the Spirit of the LORD go from me to speak to you? And Micaiah said, Behold, you shall see on that day when you shall go into an inner room to hide yourself. And the king of Israel said, Take Micaiah, and carry him back to Amon the governor of the city, and to Joash the king’s son. And you shall say, So says the king, Put this fellow in the prison, and feed him with bread of affliction and with water of affliction until I return in peace. And Micaiah said, If you certainly return in peace, then the LORD has not spoken by me. And he said, Listen, all you people.
And the king of Israel and Jehoshaphat the king of Judah went up to Ramoth-gilead. And the king of Israel said to Jehoshaphat, I will disguise myself and will go to the battle. But you put on your robes. And the king of Israel disguised himself. And they went to the battle. And the king of Syria had commanded the commanders of the chariots with him, saying, Do not fight with small or great, but only with the king of Israel. And it happened when the commanders of the chariots saw Jehoshaphat, they said, It is the king of Israel. And they surrounded him to fight. But Jehoshaphat cried out, and the LORD helped him. And God moved them to leave him. For it happened when the commanders of the chariots saw that it was not the king of Israel, they turned back again from pursuing him. And a certain man drew a bow at random, and struck the king of Israel between the joinings and the breastplate. And he said to the charioteer, Turn your hand, and you shall bring me out of the army, for I am wounded. And the battle increased that day; and the king of Israel was made to stand up in his chariot against the Syrians until the evening. And about the time of the sunset he died.
And Jehoshaphat the king of Judah returned to his house in peace to Jerusalem. And Jehu the son of Hanani the seer went out to meet him. And he said to king Jehoshaphat, Should you help the ungodly and love those who hate the LORD? And by this bring wrath on you from before the LORD. But there are good things found in you, in that you have taken away the Asherahs out of the land and have prepared your heart to seek God. And Jehoshaphat lived at Jerusalem. And he went out again among the people from Beer-sheba to mount Ephraim, and brought them back to the LORD God of their fathers.
And he set judges in the land, in all the fortified cities of Judah, city by city. And he said to the judges, Take heed what you do. For you do not judge for man, but for the LORD, who is with you in the judgment. And now let the fear of the LORD be on you. Be careful and act wisely, for there is no iniquity with the LORD our God, nor respect of persons, nor taking of gifts. And Jehoshaphat set some of the Levites and of the priests and of the chief of the fathers of Israel in Jerusalem for the judgment of the LORD, and for controversies, when they returned to Jerusalem. And he charged them, saying, And you shall act in the fear of the LORD, faithfully, and with a perfect heart. And whatever cause shall come to you from your brothers that dwell in their cities, between blood and blood, between law and commandment, statutes and judgments, you shall even warn them so that they do not sin against the LORD, and wrath come on you and your brothers. Do this and you shall not sin. And behold, Amariah the chief priest is over you in all matters of the LORD. And Zebadiah the son of Ishmael is the ruler of the house of Judah for all the king’s matters. Also the Levites shall be officers before you. Take courage and act, and the LORD shall be with the good.
Repeat. Levites, blah blah.
And it happened after this the sons of Moab, and the sons of Ammon came in, and with them others besides the Ammonites, to battle against Jehoshaphat. And they came in and spoke to Jehoshaphat, saying, A great multitude has come against you from beyond the sea on this side of Syria. And behold, they are in Hazazon-tamar, which is En-gedi. And Jehoshaphat feared and set himself to seek the LORD, and called for a fast throughout all Judah. And Judah gathered themselves to ask of the LORD. Even out of all the cities of Judah they came to seek the LORD. And Jehoshaphat stood in the congregation of Judah and Jerusalem, in the house of the LORD, before the new court, and said, O LORD God of our Fathers, are You not God in Heaven? And do You rule over all the kingdoms of the nations? And is there power and might in Your hand, so that none is able to withstand You? Are You not our God? Did You not drive out the people of this land before Israel, and give it to the seed of Your friend Abraham forever? And they lived in it. And they have built You a temple in it for Your name, saying, If evil comes on us, whether the sword, judgment, or plague, or famine, and we stand before this house and in Your presence (for Your name is in this house) and cry to You in our affliction, then You will hear and help. And now, behold, the sons of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir, whom You would not let Israel invade when they came out of the land of Egypt, but they turned from them and did not destroy them, behold, they reward us by coming to cast us out of Your possession, which You have given us to inherit. O our God, will You not judge them? For we have no might against this great company which comes against us. Nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are on You. And all Judah stood before the LORD with their little ones, their wives, and their sons.
Fuck this is so repetetive.
And the Spirit of the LORD came on Jahaziel the son of Zechariah, the son of Benaiah, the son of Jeiel, the son of Mattaniah, a Levite of the sons of Asaph, in the midst of the congregation. And he said, Listen, all Judah, and you people of Jerusalem, and king Jehoshaphat! So says the LORD to you, Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude. For the battle is not yours, but God’s. Tomorrow go down against them. Behold, they come up by the cliff of Ziz. And you shall find them at the end of the valley, before the wilderness of Jeruel. You shall not fight in this battle. Set yourselves and stand, and see the salvation of the LORD with you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not fear nor be dismayed. Tomorrow go out against them, for the LORD will be with you. And Jehoshaphat bowed his face to the ground. And all Judah and the people of Jerusalem fell before the LORD, worshiping the LORD. And the Levites, of the sons of the Kohathites and of the sons of the Korhites, stood up to praise the LORD God of Israel with a loud voice on high.
Repeat…of the fucking paragraph before it.
And they rose early in the morning and went out into the wilderness of Tekoa. And as they went out, Jehoshaphat stood and said, Hear me, O Judah, and you people of Jerusalem. Believe in the LORD your God, and so you shall be established. Believe His prophets, and so you shall be blessed. And he consulted with the people, and he appointed singers to the LORD and praisers to praise the beauty of holiness as they went out before the army, and to say, Praise the LORD, for His mercy endures forever. And when they began to sing and to praise, the LORD set ambushes against the sons of Ammon, Moab, and mount Seir, who had come against Judah. And they were beaten. For the sons of Ammon and Moab stood up against the people of mount Seir to completely kill and destroy. And when they had made an end of the people of Seir, everyone helped to destroy another. And when Judah came to the watchtower in the wilderness, they looked at the multitude. And behold! They were dead bodies fallen to the earth, and none escaped. And Jehoshaphat and his people came to take their plunder, they found among them in abundance both riches and precious jewels in great number with the dead bodies, which they stripped off for themselves, more than they could carry away. And they were three days in gathering of the plunder, it was so much. And on the fourth day they gathered themselves in the Valley of Blessing. For there they blessed the LORD. And the name of the same place was called the Valley of Blessing until this day. And they returned, every man of Judah and Jerusalem, and Jehoshaphat in front of them, to go again to Jerusalem with joy. For the LORD had made them to rejoice over their enemies. And they came into Jerusalem with harps and with lyres, and with trumpets to the house of the LORD. And the fear of God was on all the kingdoms of those countries, when they had heard that the LORD fought against the enemies of Israel. And the kingdom of Jehoshaphat was quiet. For his God gave him rest round about.
Repeat. Wow, this is going nowhere.
And Jehoshaphat reigned over Judah, thirty-five years old when he began to reign, and he reigned twenty-five years in Jerusalem. And his mother’s name was Azubah the daughter of Shilhi. And he walked in the way of Asa his father, and did not depart from it, doing the right in the sight of the LORD. But, the high places were not taken away, for as yet the people had not prepared their hearts to the God of their fathers. And the rest of the acts of Jehoshaphat, first and last, behold, they are written in the book of Jehu the son of Hanani, which were taken up in the /Book of the Kings of Israel. And after this Jehoshaphat king of Judah joined himself with Ahaziah king of Israel; he did wickedly to do so. And he joined himself with him to make ships to go to Tarshish. And they made the ships in Ezion-geber. And Eliezer the son of Dodavah of Mareshah prophesied against Jehoshaphat, saying, Because you have joined yourself with Ahaziah, the LORD has broken your works. And the ships were broken so that they were not able to go to Tarshish.
Repeat. Broken ships this time around.
And Jehoshaphat slept with his fathers, and was buried with his fathers in the city of David. And Jehoram his son reigned in his place. And he had brothers, the sons of Jehoshaphat, Azariah, and Jehiel, and Zechariah, and Azariah, and Michael, and Shephatiah. All these were the sons of Jehoshaphat king of Israel. And their father gave them great gifts of silver and of gold and of precious things, with fortified cities in Judah. But the kingdom he gave to Jehoram, because he was the first-born. And when Jehoram had risen up to the kingdom of his father, he made himself strong and killed all his brothers with the sword, and also many of the rulers of Israel. Jehoram was thirty-two years old when he began to reign. And he reigned eight years in Jerusalem. And he walked in the way of the kings of Israel, like the house of Ahab for he had the daughter of Ahab for a wife. And he did the evil in the eyes of the LORD. And the LORD was not willing to destroy the house of David, because of the covenant that He had made with David, and as He promised to give a light to him and to his sons forever. In his days Edom revolted from under the rule of Judah, and made themselves a king. And Jehoram went forth with his rulers, and all his chariots with him. And he rose up by night and struck the Edomites who surrounded him, and the commanders of the chariots. And the Edomites revolted from under the hand of Judah until this day. The same time Libnah revolted from under his hand, because he had forsaken the LORD God of his fathers. Besides he made high places in the mountains of Judah, and caused the people of Jerusalem to commit fornication, and led astray Judah.
Repeat. Fuck me, how, how many times do we have to read EXACTLY THE SAME FUCKING THING!?!
And a writing came to him from Elijah the prophet, saying, So says the LORD God of David your father, Because you have not walked in the ways of Jehoshaphat your father, nor in the ways of Asa king of Judah, but have walked in the way of the kings of Israel, and have made Judah and the people of Jerusalem to go lusting like the fornications of the house of Ahab, and also have killed your brothers of your fathers house ( who were better than you), behold, the LORD will strike your people with a great plague, and your sons, and your wives, and all your goods. And you shall have great sickness by disease in your bowels, until your bowels fall out because of the sickness day by day. And the LORD stirred up the spirit of the Philistines against Jehoram, and of the Arabians who were near the Ethiopians. And they came up into Judah and broke into it, and carried away all the stuff that was found in the king’s house, and his sons also, and his wives, so that there was not a son left with him except Ahaziah, the youngest of his sons. And after this the LORD struck him in his bowels with a disease that could not be cured. And it happened as days and as the time went out, at the end of two years, his bowels fell out because of his sickness. And he died of painful diseases. And his people made no burning for him like the burning of his fathers. He was thirty-two years old when he began to reign, and he reigned in Jerusalem eight years, and departed without being desired. And they buried him in the city of David, but not in the tombs of the kings.
Ewww, shit himself to death. I don’t remember that. I do remember takig all of their stuff.
And the people of Jerusalem made Ahaziah his youngest son king in his place. For the band of men that came with the Arabians to the camp had killed all the older ones. And Ahaziah the son of Jehoram king of Judah reigned. Ahaziah’s dynasty was forty-two years old when he began to reign, and he reigned one year in Jerusalem. His mother’s name was Athaliah the daughter of Omri. He also walked in the ways of the house of Ahab. For his mother was his counselor to do wickedly. And he did evil in the sight of the LORD like the house of Ahab. For they were his counselors after the death of his father, to his ruin. He also walked after their advice and went with Jehoram the son of Ahab king of Israel to war against Hazael king of Syria at Ramoth-gilead. And the Syrians struck Jehoram. And he returned to be healed in Jezreel, because of the wounds which were given him at Ramah, when he fought with Hazael king of Syria. And Ahaziah the son of Jehoram king of Judah went down to see Jehoram the son of Ahab at Jezreel, because he was sick. And by coming to Jehoram, the destruction of Ahaziah was of God. He went out with Jehoram against Jehu the son of Nimshi, whom the LORD had anointed to cut off the house of Ahab. And it happened when Jehu was executing judgment on the house of Ahab, and found the rulers of Judah and the sons of the brothers of Ahaziah, the servants of Ahaziah, he killed them. And he looked for Ahaziah. And they caught him (for he was hidden in Samaria), and brought him to Jehu. And when they had killed him, they buried him because they said, He is the son of Jehoshaphat who looked to the LORD with all his heart. And the house of Ahaziah had no power still to keep the kingdom.
And Athaliah the mother of Ahaziah saw that her son was dead, and she arose and spoke to destroy all the royal seed of the house of Judah. But Jehoshabeath the daughter of the king took Joash the son of Ahaziah, and stole him from among the king’s sons who were killed. And she put him and his nurse in a bedroom. And Jehoshabeath, the daughter of king Jehoram, the wife of Jehoiada the priest (for she was the sister of Ahaziah) hid him from Athaliah so that she did not kill him. And he was with them six years, hidden in the house of God. And Athaliah reigned over the land.
And in the seventh year Jehoiada made himself strong. And he took the commanders of hundreds, Azariah the son of Jeroham, and Ishmael the son of Jehohanan, and Azariah the son of Obed, and Maaseiah the son of Adaiah, and Elishaphat the son of Zichri into covenant with him. And they went about in Judah and gathered the Levites out of all the cities of Judah, and the chief of the fathers of Israel, and they came to Jerusalem. And all the congregation made a covenant with the king in the house of God. And he said to them, Behold, the king’s son shall reign, as the LORD has said of the sons of David. This is the thing that you shall do. A third part of you entering on the sabbath, of the priests and of the Levites, shall be keepers of the doors. And a third part shall be at the king’s house. And a third part shall be at the gate of the foundation. And all the people shall be in the courts of the house of the LORD. But let none come into the house of the LORD except the priests, and those of the Levites who minister. They shall go in, for they are holy. But all the people shall keep the watch of the LORD. And the Levites shall surround the king, each man with his weapons in his hand. And whoever comes into the house, he shall be put to death. But you be with the king when he comes in and when he goes out. And the Levites and all Judah did according to all things that Jehoiada the priest had commanded. And every man took his men who were to come in on the sabbath, with the ones who were to go out on the sabbath. For Jehoiada the priest did not dismiss the divisions. And Jehoiada the priest delivered to the commanders of hundreds king David’s spears and bucklers and shields, which were in the house of God. And he set all the people, each man having his weapon in his hand, from the right side of the temple to the left side of the temple, along by the altar and the temple, by the king round about. And they brought out the king’s son and put the crown on him, and gave him the testimony, and made him king. And Jehoiada and his sons anointed him and said, Let the king live!
Repeat. Same shit, different names.
And Athaliah heard the noise of the people running and praising the king, and she came to the people into the house of the LORD. And she looked, and behold, the king stood at his pillar at the entrance, and the rulers and the trumpets by the king. And all the people of the land were rejoicing and sounding with trumpets, and the singers with instruments of music, and giving signals to praise. And Athaliah tore her clothes and cried, Treason! Treason! And Jehoiada the priest brought out the commanders of hundreds who were set over the army, and said to them, Take her out of the ranks. And whoever follows her shall be killed with the sword. For the priest said, Do not kill her in the house of the LORD. And they laid hands on her; and she came to the entrance of the Gate of the Horses, beside the king’s house, and they executed her there. And Jehoiada made a covenant between him, and between all the people and between the king, that they should be the LORD’s people. And all the people went to the house of Baal and broke it down, and smashed his altars and his images. And they killed Mattan the priest of Baal before the altars. And Jehoiada chose the officers of the house of the LORD by the hand of the priests the Levites, whom David had distributed in the house of the LORD, to offer the burnt offerings of the LORD, as it is written in the law of Moses, with joy and with singing, by the hands of David. And he set the gatekeepers at the gates of the house of the LORD, so that the unclean in any way could not go in. And he took the commanders of hundreds, and the nobles, and the governors of the people, and all the people of the land, and brought the king down from the house of the LORD. And they came through the Upper Gate into the king’s house, and set the king on the throne of the kingdom. And all the people of the land rejoiced. And the city was quiet after they had killed Athaliah with the sword.
Repeat. Moving along.
Joash was seven years old when he began to reign. And he reigned forty years in Jerusalem. His mother’s name also was Zibiah of Beer-sheba. And Joash did the right in the eyes of the LORD all the days of Jehoiada the priest. And Jehoiada took two wives for him, and he fathered sons and daughters And it happened after this, it had been in the mind of Joash to repair the house of the LORD. And he gathered together the priests and the Levites and said to them, Go out to the cities of Judah, and gather silver from all Israel to repair the house of your God from year to year. And see that you hasten the matter. And the Levites did not hasten it. And the king called for Jehoiada and said to him, Why have you not made the Levites bring in the collection out of Judah and out of Jerusalem, according to Moses the servant of the LORD, and of the congregation of Israel, for the tabernacle of witness? For the sons of Athaliah, that wicked woman, have broken up the house of God. And also all the dedicated things of the house of the LORD they have given to Baals. And the king commanded, and they made a chest, and set it outside at the gate of the house of the LORD. And they gave a call in Judah and in Jerusalem, to bring in to the LORD the collection that Moses the servant of God laid on Israel in the wilderness. And all the rulers and all the people rejoiced, and brought in, and threw into the chests until it was finished. And it happened at the time the chest was brought into the king’s office by the Levites, and when they saw that the silver was abundant, the king’s scribe and the high priest’s officer came and emptied the chest, and took it and carried it to its place again. So they did day by day, and gathered a great amount of silver. And the king and Jehoiada gave it to those who did the work of the service of the house of the LORD. And they hired masons and carpenters to repair the house of the LORD, and also artisans in iron and bronze, to mend the house of the LORD. And the workmen worked, and the work was completed by them, and they set the house of God in its proper state and made it strong. And when they had finished, they brought the rest of the silver before the king and Jehoiada. Of this silver were made vessels for the house of the LORD, vessels to minister and to offer, and spoons, and vessels of gold and silver. And they continually offered burnt offerings in the house of the LORD all the days of Jehoiada.
Repeat. Just a copy and paste.
But Jehoiada became old, and was full of days when he died. He was a hundred and thirty years old when he died. And they buried him in the city of David among the kings, because he had done good in Israel, both toward God and toward His house. And after the death of Jehoiada the rulers of Judah came and bowed down to the king. And the king listened to them. And they left the house of the LORD God of their fathers, and served Asherahs and idols. And wrath came on Judah and Jerusalem for this their guilt. Yet He sent prophets to them to bring them again to the LORD. And they testified against them. But they would not listen. And the Spirit of God came on Zechariah the son of Jehoiada the priest, who stood above the people and said to them, So says God, Why do you transgress the commandments of the LORD so that you cannot be blessed? Because you have forsaken the LORD, He has also forsaken you. And they conspired against him and stoned him with stones at the command of the king in the court of the house of the LORD. And Joash the king did not remember the kindness which Jehoiada his father had done to him, but killed his son. And when he died, he said, The LORD will seek you out. And it happened at the end of the year the army of Syria came up against him. And they came to Judah and Jerusalem, and destroyed all the rulers of the people from among the people, and sent all the plunder of them to the king of Damascus. For the army of the Syrians came with a small company of men, and the LORD delivered a very great army into their hand, because they had forsaken the God of the fathers. And they executed judgment against Joash. And when they had departed from him (for they left him in great diseases), his own servants conspired against him for the blood of the sons of Jehoiada the priest, and killed him on his bed, and he died. And they buried him in the city of David, but they did not bury him in the tombs of the kings. And these are the ones who conspired against him Zabad the son of Shimeath of Ammon, and Jehozabad the son of Shimrith the Moabitess. And as to his sons, and the greatness of the burdens on him, and the repairing of the house of God, behold, they are written in the story of the Book of the Kings. And Amaziah his son reigned in his place.
Repeat. Why was any of this included in the Bible?
Amaziah was twenty-five years old when he began to reign, and he reigned twenty-nine years in Jerusalem. And his mother’s name was Jehoaddan of Jerusalem. And he did the right in the eyes of the LORD, but not with a perfect heart. And it happened when the kingdom was made sure to him, he killed his servants who had killed his father, the king. But he did not kill their sons, but as it is written in the law in the book of Moses, where the LORD commanded, saying, The father shall not die for the sons, nor shall the sons die for the fathers, but every man shall die for his own sin. And Amaziah gathered Judah and made them commanders over thousands and commanders over hundreds, according to the houses of the fathers, for all Judah and Benjamin. And he numbered them from twenty years old and above, and found them three hundred thousand choice men, able to go forth to war, that could handle spear and shield. And he hired a hundred thousand mighty men of war out of Israel for a hundred talents of silver. But a man of God came to him saying, O king, do not let the army of Israel go with you, for the LORD is not with Israel, with all the sons of Ephraim. But if you will go, do it! Be strong for the battle, for God shall make you fall before the enemy, for God has power to help and to throw down. And Amaziah said to the man of God, But what shall we do for the hundred talents which I have given to the army of Israel? And the man of God answered, The LORD is able to give you much more than this. And Amaziah separated them, the army that had come to him out of Ephraim, to go home again. And their anger was greatly kindled against Judah, and they returned home in great anger. And Amaziah made himself strong, and led forth his people, and went to the Valley of Salt, and struck ten thousand of the sons of Seir. And the sons of Judah carried away captive ten thousand alive, and brought them to the top of the rock, and threw them down from the top of the rock so they were all broken in pieces. And the sons of the army which Amaziah sent back, that they should not go with him to battle, fell on the cities of Judah from Samaria even to Beth-horon, and struck three thousand of them and took much plunder.
Repeat. 300,000 dead. Bullshit.
And it happened after Amaziah had come from the slaughter of the Edomites, he brought the gods of the sons of Seir and set them up to be his gods, and bowed down himself before them and burned incense to them. And the anger of the LORD was kindled against Amaziah, and He sent to him a prophet who said to him, Why have you sought after the gods of the people which could not deliver their own people out of your hand? And it happened as he talked with him, the king said to him, Have we made you of the king’s counsel? Stop! Why should you be stricken? And the prophet stopped. And he said, I know that God has determined to destroy you because you have done this and have not listened to my counsel.
And Amaziah king of Judah took advice, and sent to Jehoash the son of Jehoahaz the son of Jehu, king of Israel, saying, Come let us look one another in the face. And Jehoash king of Israel sent to Amaziah king of Judah saying, The thistle that was in Lebanon sent to the cedar in Lebanon, saying, Give your daughter to my son for a wife. And a beast of the field in Lebanon passed by and trampled the thistle down. You have said, Lo, I have stricken the Edomites, and your heart lifts you up to boast. Now stay at home why should you meddle to your hurt, so that you should fall, you and Judah with you? But Amaziah would not hear, for it was from God so that He might deliver them into the hand of their enemies, because they sought after the gods of Edom. And Jehoash the king of Israel went up. And they saw one another in the face, he and Amaziah king of Judah, at Beth-shemesh of Judah. And Judah was beaten before Israel, and each man fled to his tent. And Jehoash the king of Israel took Amaziah king of Judah, the son of Joash the son of Ahaziah, at Beth-shemesh, and brought him to Jerusalem and broke down the wall of Jerusalem from the Ephraim Gate to the Corner Gate, four hundred cubits. And he took all the gold and the silver, and all the vessels which were found in the house of God with Obed-edom, and the treasures of the king’s house, the hostages also, and returned to Samaria. And Amaziah the son of Joash king of Judah lived fifteen years after the death of Jehoash the son of Jehoahaz king of Israel. And the rest of the acts of Amaziah, first and last, behold, are they not written in the Book of the Kings of Judah and Israel? And after the time that Amaziah turned away from following the LORD, they made a plot against him in Jerusalem. And he fled to Lachish. But they sent to Lachish after him and killed him there. And they brought him on horses and buried him with his fathers in the city of Judah.
Repeat. Copy and paste.
And all the people of Judah took Uzziah, and he was sixteen years old, and made him king in his father Amaziah’s place. He built Eloth, and restored it to Judah, after the king lay with his fathers. Uzziah was sixteen years old when he began to reign, and he reigned fifty-two years in Jerusalem. His mother’s name also was Jecoliah of Jerusalem. And he did the right in the sight of the LORD, according to all that his father Amaziah did. And he sought God in the days of Zechariah, who had understanding in the visions of God. As long as he sought the LORD, God blessed him. And he went out and warred against the Philistines, and broke down the wall of Gath, and the wall of Jabneh, and the wall of Ashdod, and built cities around Ashdod, and among the Philistines. And God helped him against the Philistines, and against the Arabians who lived in Gurbaal, and the Meunites. And the Ammonites paid tribute to Uzziah. And his name spread abroad even to the entrance of Egypt, for he was made very strong. And, Uzziah built towers in Jerusalem at the Corner Gate and at the Valley Gate, and at the Turning, and fortified them. And he built towers in the desert, and dug many wells. For he had many cattle, both in the low country and in the plains. He also had husbandmen and vinedressers in the mountains, and in Carmel. For he loved the earth. And, Uzziah had an army of making war, going out to war by troops, according to the number of their oversight by the hand of Jeiel the scribe and Maaseiah the ruler, under the hand of Hananiah, one of the king’s leaders. The whole number of the heads of the fathers of the mighty men of power was two thousand and six hundred. And under their hand was an army of three hundred and seven thousand, five hundred, that made war with mighty power to help the king against the enemy. And Uzziah prepared for them, for all the army, shields and spears and helmets and coats of armor and bows and stones for the slings. And he made engines in Jerusalem, invented by skillful men, to be on the towers and on the corners, to shoot arrows and great stones with. And his name spread far abroad. For he was wonderfully helped until he was strong.
But when he was strong, his heart was lifted up to ruin. For he sinned against the LORD his God, and went into the temple of the LORD to burn incense on the altar of incense. And Azariah the priest went in after him, and with him eighty priests of the LORD, mighty men. And they withstood Uzziah the king and said to him, It is not for you, Uzziah, to burn incense to the Lord, but to the priests, the sons of Aaron who are consecrated to burn incense. Go out of the temple, for you have sinned. Nor shall it be for your honor from the LORD God. And Uzziah was angry. And he had a censer in his hand to burn incense. And while he was angry with the priests, the leprosy even rose up in his forehead before the priests in the house of the LORD, from beside the incense altar. And Azariah the chief priest, and all the priests, looked on him. And, behold, he was leprous in his forehead! And they thrust him out from there. Yes, he himself hurried to go out also, because the LORD had stricken him. And Uzziah the king was a leper until the day of his death, and lived in a separate house a leper. For he was cut off from the house of the LORD. And Jotham his son was over the king’s house, judging the people of the land. And the rest of the acts of Uzziah, first and last, Isaiah the prophet, the son of Amoz, wrote. And Uzziah slept with his fathers, and they buried him with his fathers in the field of the burial of the kings. For they said, He is a leper. And his son Jotham reigned in his place.
Jotham was twenty-five years old when he began to reign, and he reigned sixteen years in Jerusalem. And his mother’s name was Jerushah, the daughter of Zadok. And he did the right in the sight of the LORD, according to all that his father Uzziah did. Only, he did not enter into the temple of the LORD. And the people still did evilly. He built the Upper Gate of the house of the LORD, and on the wall of Ophel he built much. And he built cities in the mountains of Judah, and in the forests he built palaces and towers. And He fought with the king of the Ammonites and prevailed over them. And the sons of Ammon gave him the same year a hundred talents of silver and ten thousand measures of wheat, and ten thousand of barley. This the sons of Ammon paid to him, both the second year and the third. And Jotham became mighty because he prepared his ways before the LORD his God. And the rest of the acts of Jotham, and all his wars, and his ways, lo, they are written in the Book of the Kings of Israel and Judah. He was twenty-five years old when he began to reign, and he reigned sixteen years in Jerusalem. And Jotham slept with his fathers, and they buried him in the city of David. And his son Ahaz reigned in his place.
Ahaz was twenty years old when he began to reign, and he reigned sixteen years in Jerusalem. But he did not do the right in the sight of the LORD, like David his father. For he walked in the ways of the kings of Israel, and also made molded images for Baals. And he burned incense in the valley of the son of Hinnom, and burned his sons in the fire, according to the abominations of the nations whom the LORD had cast out before the sons of Israel. And He sacrificed and burned incense in the high places, and on the hills, and under every green tree. And the LORD his God delivered him into the hand of the king of Syria. And they struck him and carried away a great captivity, and brought them to Damascus. And he was also delivered into the hand of the king of Israel, who struck him with a great slaughter.
And Pekah the son of Remaliah killed a hundred and twenty thousand in Judah in one day, all mighty men, because they had forsaken the LORD God of their fathers. And Zichri, a mighty man of Ephraim, killed Maaseiah the king’s son, and Azrikam the governor of the house, and Elkanah who was next to the king. And the sons of Israel carried away captive two hundred thousand of their brothers, women, and daughters, and also took away much plunder from them and brought the plunder to Samaria. But a prophet of the LORD was there, whose name was Oded. And he went out before the army that came to Samaria and said to them, Behold, because the Lord God of your fathers was angry with Judah, He has delivered them into your hands, and you have killed them in a rage which reaches up to Heaven. And now you intend to keep under the sons of Judah and Jerusalem for bondmen and bondwomen to you. Are there not with you, even with you, sins against the LORD your God? And now hear me, and deliver again the captives which you have taken captive of your brothers. For the fierce wrath of the LORD is on you. And certain of the heads of the sons of Ephraim, Azariah the son of Johanan, Berechiah the son of Meshillemoth, and Jehizkiah the son of Shallum, and Amasa the son of Hadlai, stood up against them who came from the war. And they said to them, You shall not bring the captives here. For we have offended the LORD, and you intend to add to our sins and to our trespass. For our trespass is great, and there is fierce wrath against Israel. And the armed men left the captives and the plunder before the rulers and all the congregation. And the men who were called by name rose up and took the captives and clothed all that were naked among them with the plunder, and dressed them, and shod them, and made them eat and drink, and anointed them, and led the feeble ones on asses, and brought them to Jericho, the city of palm trees, to their brothers. And they returned to Samaria.
Repeat. Fuck me, they don’t even bother to change it up at all.
At that time king Ahaz sent to the kings of Assyria to help him. For again the Edomites had come and had beaten Judah and had carried away captives. The Philistines also had invaded the cities of the low country and of the south of Judah, and had taken Beth-shemesh and Aijalon, and Gederoth, and Shocho with its villages, and Timnah with its villages, and Gimzo and its villages. And they lived there. For the LORD brought Judah low because of Ahaz king of Israel. For he loosed immorality in Judah, and sinned grievously against the LORD. And Tilgath-pilneser king of Assyria came to him and troubled him, but did not strengthen him. For Ahaz took away a portion of the house of the LORD, and of the house of the king, and of the rulers, and gave it to the king of Assyria. But it was no help to him. And in the time of his distress he trespassed even more against the LORD, this king Ahaz. For he sacrificed to the gods of Damascus who struck him. And he said, Because the gods of the kings of Syria helped them, I will sacrifice to them so that they may help me. But they were the ruin of him and of all Israel. And Ahaz gathered the vessels of the house of God and cut in pieces the vessels of the house of God, and shut up the doors of the house of the LORD. And he made himself altars in every corner of Jerusalem. And in each separate city of Judah he made high places to burn incense to other gods, and provoked to anger the LORD God of his fathers. And the rest of his acts and of all his ways, first and last, behold, they are written in the Book of the Kings of Judah and Israel. And Ahaz slept with his fathers, and they buried him in the city, in Jerusalem. But they did not bring him into the tombs of the kings of Israel. And his son Hezekiah reigned in his place.
Repeat. Angered god, blah blah.
Hezekiah began to reign being twenty-five years old, and he reigned twenty-nine years in Jerusalem. And his mother’s name was Abijah the daughter of Zechariah. And he did the right in the sight of the LORD, according to all that David his father had done. In the first year of his reign, in the first month, he opened the doors of the house of the LORD and repaired them. And he brought in the priests and the Levites, and gathered them into the east street. And he said to them, Hear me, Levites, now sanctify yourselves and sanctify the house of the LORD God of your fathers, and carry out the filthiness out of the holy place. For our fathers have sinned and did the evil in the eyes of the LORD our God, and have forsaken Him, and have turned away their faces from the house of the LORD, and have turned their backs. Also they have shut up the doors of the porch, and put out the lamps, and have not burned incense nor offered burnt offerings in the sanctuary to the God of Israel. Therefore the wrath of the LORD was on Judah and Jerusalem, and He has delivered them to trouble, to ruin, and to hissing as you see with your eyes. For lo, our fathers have fallen by the sword, and our sons and our daughters and our wives are in captivity for this. And it is in my heart to make a covenant with the LORD God of Israel, that His fierce wrath may turn away from us. My sons, do not be negligent now. For the LORD has chosen you to stand before Him, to serve Him, and that you should minister to Him and burn incense.
And the Levites arose, Mahath the son of Amasai, and Joel the son of Azariah, of the sons of the Kohathites. And of the sons of Merari arose Kish the son of Abdi, and Azariah the son of Jehalelel. And of the Gershonites: Joah the son of Zimmah, and Eden the son of Joah. And of the sons of Elizaphan: Shimri and Jeiel. And of the sons of Asaph: Zechariah and Mattaniah. And of the sons of Heman: Jehiel and Shimei. And of the sons of Jeduthun: Shemaiah and Uzziel. And they gathered their brothers and sanctified themselves, and came, according to the command of the king, by the words of the LORD, to clean the house of the LORD. And the priests went into the inner part of the house of the LORD to clean it. And they brought out all the uncleanness that they found in the temple of the LORD into the court of the house of the LORD. And the Levites took it out to the brook Kidron. And they began to sanctify on the first of the first month. And on the eighth day of the month they came to the porch of the LORD. And they made the house of the LORD pure in eight days, and in the sixteenth day of the first month they made an end. And they went in to Hezekiah the king and said, We have cleaned all the house of the LORD, and the altar of burnt offering, with all its vessels, and the showbread table, and all its vessels. And we have prepared and sanctified all the vessels which king Ahaz in his reign cast away in his sin. And behold, they are before the altar of the LORD.
Repeat. Burnt offerings, vessels, etc.
And Hezekiah the king rose early and gathered the rulers of the city, and went up to the house of the LORD. And they brought seven bulls and seven rams and seven lambs and seven he-goats, for a sin offering for the kingdom, and for the sanctuary, and for Judah. And he commanded the priests, the sons of Aaron, to offer them on the altar of the LORD. And they killed the bulls, and the priests received the blood and sprinkled it on the altar. And they killed the rams, and sprinkled the blood on the altar. They also killed the lambs, and they sprinkled the blood on the altar. And they brought out the he-goats for the sin offering before the king and the congregation. And they laid their hands on them. And the priest killed them, and they made atonement with their blood on the altar, to make atonement for all Israel. For the king commanded the burnt offering and the sin offering to be made for all Israel. And he set the Levites in the house of the LORD with cymbals, with harps, and with lyres, according to the command of David, and of Gad the king’s seer and Nathan the prophet. For the commandment was by the hand of the LORD by His prophets. And the Levites stood with the instruments of David, and the priests with the trumpets. And Hezekiah commanded to offer the burnt offering on the altar. And when the burnt offering began, the song of the LORD began with the trumpets and with the instruments ordained by David king of Israel. And all the congregation worshiped, and the singers sang, and the trumpeters sounded. All this went on until the burnt offering was finished. And when they had made an end of offering, the king and all who were present with him bowed themselves and worshiped. And Hezekiah the king and the rulers commanded the Levites to sing praise to the LORD with the words of David and of Asaph the seer. And they sang praises with gladness, and they bowed their heads and worshiped. And Hezekiah answered and said, And you have consecrated yourselves to the LORD. Come near and bring sacrifices and thank offerings into the house of the LORD. And the congregation brought in sacrifices and thank offerings. And as many as were of a free heart brought burnt offerings. And the number of the burnt offerings which the congregation brought was seventy oxen, a hundred rams, two hundred lambs. All these were for a burnt offering to the LORD. And the things consecrated were six hundred oxen and three thousand sheep. But the priests were too few, so that they could not skin all the burnt offerings. And their brothers the Levites helped them until the work was ended, and until the priests had sanctified themselves. For the Levites were more upright of heart to make themselves pure than the priests. And also the burnt offerings were in abundance, with the fat of the peace offerings and the drink offerings for every burnt offering. And the service of the house of the LORD was set in order. And Hezekiah rejoiced, and all the people, that God had prepared the people. For the thing happened suddenly.
Repeat. Shitty writing here. SO clunky.
And Hezekiah sent to all Israel and Judah, and wrote letters also to Ephraim and Manasseh, that they should come to the house of the LORD at Jerusalem, to keep the Passover to the LORD God of Israel. And the king and his leaders, and all the congregation in Jerusalem, took counsel to keep the Passover in the second month. For they could not keep it at that time, because the priests had not made themselves pure enough, nor had the people gathered to Jerusalem. And the thing pleased the king and all the congregation. And they established a decree to send a notice throughout all Israel, from Beer-sheba even to Dan, that they should come to keep the Passover to the LORD God of Israel at Jerusalem. For not many of them had done as it was written. And the runners went with the letters from the king and his rulers to Israel and Judah, and according to the command of the king, saying, O sons of Israel, turn again to the LORD God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, and He will return to the remnant of you who have escaped out of the hands of the king of Assyria. And do not be like your fathers and like your brothers who sinned against the LORD God of their fathers, and He made them for a horror, as you see. And do not be stiffnecked like your fathers. Yield yourselves to the LORD and enter into His temple which He has sanctified forever. And serve the LORD your God, so that the fierceness of His wrath may turn away from you. For if you turn again to the LORD, your brothers and your sons will have mercies before those who lead them captive, so that they shall come again into this land. For the LORD your God is gracious and merciful, and will not turn His face away from you if you return to Him. And the runners passed from city to city in the land of Ephraim and Manasseh, even to Zebulun. But they laughed them to scorn, and mocked them. However, men from Asher and Manasseh and Zebulun humbled themselves and came to Jerusalem. Also in Judah the hand of God was to give them one heart to do the command of the king and of the rulers, by the word of the LORD.
And many people gathered at Jerusalem to keep the Feast of Unleavened Bread in the second month, a very great congregation. And they arose and took away the altars in Jerusalem, and all the altars for incense they took away, and threw them into the brook Kidron. And they killed the Passover on the fourteenth of the second month. And the priests and the Levites were ashamed and made themselves pure, and brought in the burnt offerings into the house of the LORD. And they stood in their place in their manner, according to the law of Moses the man of God. The priests sprinkled the blood from the hand of the Levites. For many in the congregation were not sanctified. And the Levites were over the killing of the passovers for every one who was not clean, to sanctify them to the LORD. For many of the people, many from Ephraim and Manasseh, Issachar and Zebulun, had not been cleansed, but ate the Passover otherwise than it was written. But Hezekiah prayed for them, saying, May the good LORD pardon everyone who prepares his heart to seek God, the LORD God of his fathers, though not cleansed according to the purification of the sanctuary. And the LORD listened to Hezekiah and healed the people.
And the sons of Israel found at Jerusalem kept the Feast of Unleavened Bread seven days with great gladness. And the Levites and the priests praised the LORD day by day with loud instruments to the LORD. And Hezekiah spoke comfortably to all the Levites who taught the good knowledge of the LORD. And they ate the appointed things seven days, offering peace offerings and making confession to the LORD God of their fathers. And the whole gathering agreed to keep another seven days. And they kept another seven days with gladness. For Hezekiah king of Judah gave to the congregation a thousand bulls and seven thousand sheep. And the rulers gave to the congregation a thousand bulls and ten thousand sheep. And a great number of priests sanctified themselves. And all the congregation of Judah, with the priests and the Levites, and all the congregation that came out of Israel, and the strangers that came out of the land of Israel, and who lived in Judah, rejoiced. And there was great joy in Jerusalem. For from the days of Solomon the son of David the king of Israel there was nothing like this in Jerusalem. And the priests, the Levites, arose and blessed the people. And their voice was heard, and their prayer came to His holy dwelling-place, to Heaven.
Mention of where God lives, Heaven. Not very omnipotent.
And when all this was finished, all Israel who were present went out to the cities of Judah and broke the images in pieces, and cut down the Asherahs, and threw down the high places and the altars out of all Judah and Benjamin, also in Ephraim and Manasseh, even to the end. And all the sons of Israel returned, each to his possession, into their own cities. And Hezekiah set the courses of the priests and the Levites according to their divisions, each according to his service, the priests and Levites for burnt offerings and for peace offerings, to minister and to give thanks, and to praise in the gates of the tents of the LORD. And the king’s portion from his goods was for burnt offerings, and for burnt offerings, of the morning and the evening and the burnt offerings of the sabbaths, and for the new moons, and for the set feasts, as it is written in the law of the LORD. And he commanded the people who lived in Jerusalem to give the portion of the priests and the Levites so that they might be strong in the law of the LORD. And as the command spread, the sons of Israel brought plentifully of the firstfruits of corn, wine, and oil, and honey, and of all the increase of the field. And the tithe of all things they brought in abundance. And the sons of Israel and Judah who lived in the cities of Judah, they also brought in the tithe of oxen and sheep, and the tithe of holy things which were consecrated to the LORD their God, and laid it up by heaps. In the third month they began to lay the foundation of the heaps, and finished in the seventh month. And Hezekiah and the rulers came and saw the heaps, and they blessed the LORD and His people Israel. And Hezekiah asked the priests and the Levites concerning the heaps. And Azariah the chief priest of the house of Zadok answered him and said, Since the people began to bring the offerings into the house of the LORD, we have had enough to eat and have plenty left. For the LORD has blessed His people, and this great store is left.
Repeat. Fuck, will this ever end?
And Hezekiah commanded storehouses to be prepared in the house of the LORD. And they prepared, and brought in the offerings and the tithes and the things dedicated to God faithfully. And over them was Cononiah the Levite ruler, and Shimei his brother the next. And Jehiel, and Azaziah, and Nahath, and Asahel, and Jerimoth, and Jozabad, and Eliel, and Ismachiah, and Mahath, and Benaiah, were overseers under the hand of Cononiah and Shimei his brother, at the command of Hezekiah the king, and Azariah the ruler of the house of God. And Kore the son of Imnah the Levite, the gatekeeper toward the east, was over the freewill offerings of God, to distribute the sacrifices of the LORD and the most holy things. And next to him Eden, and Miniamin, and Jeshua, and Shemaiah, Amariah, and Shecaniah, in the cities of the priests, in their set office, to give to their brothers by divisions, to the great as well as to the small, besides registering the males from three years and upward, to everyone who enters into the house of the LORD, giving his daily portion for their service in their charges according to their divisions both to the genealogy of the priests by the house of their fathers, and the Levites from twenty years old and upward, and their charges by their divisions, and to the genealogy of all their little ones, their wives, and their sons, and their daughters, through all the congregation. For in their set office they set themselves apart in holiness. And to the sons of Aaron, the priests, in the fields of the open lands of their cities, in each separate city were the men who were named by name, to give shares to all the males among the priests, and to all who were counted by genealogies among the Levites. And Hezekiah did throughout all Judah, and did the good and the right and the true before the LORD his God. And in every work that he began in the service of the house of God, and in the law, and in the commandments, to seek his God, he did it with all his heart, and prospered.
After these things done in faithfulness, Sennacherib, the king of Assyria, came and entered into Judah, and camped against the fortified cities, and commanded to break them open to himself. And when Hezekiah saw that Sennacherib had come, and that he had set his face to fight against Jerusalem, he took counsel with his rulers and his mighty men to stop the waters of the fountains outside the city. And they helped him. And there were gathered many people, who stopped all the fountains, and the torrent which ran through the midst of the land, saying, Why should the king of Assyria come and find much water? And he made himself strong and built up all the wall that was broken, and raised it up to the towers, and another wall outside, and repaired Millo in the city of David, and made darts and shields in abundance. And he set commanders of war over the people and gathered them to himself in the street of the gate of the city. And he spoke to their heart, saying, Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of the king of Assyria, or for all the multitude with him. For there are more with us than with him. With him is an arm of flesh, but with us is the LORD our God to help us and to fight our battles. And the people rested themselves on the words of Hezekiah king of Judah.
After this Sennacherib king of Assyria sent his servants to Jerusalem; and he was against Lachish, and all his forces with him against Hezekiah king of Judah, and against all Judah in Jerusalem, saying, Sennacherib king of Assyria says this, On what do you trust that you sit under siege in Jerusalem? Does not Hezekiah persuade you to give yourselves over to die by famine and by thirst, saying, Jehovah our God shall deliver us out of the hand of the king of Assyria? Has not the same Hezekiah taken away his high places and his altars, and commanded Judah and Jerusalem, saying, You shall worship before one altar and burn incense on it? Do you not know what I and my fathers have done to all the people of other lands? Were the gods of the nations of those lands in any way able to deliver their lands out of my hands? Who among all the gods of those nations that my fathers completely destroyed is able to deliver his people out of my hand, that your God should be able to deliver you out of my hand? And now do not let Hezekiah deceive you or persuade you in this way, nor yet believe him. For no god of any nation was able to deliver his people out of my hand, and out of the hand of my fathers. How much less shall your god deliver you out of my hand? And his servants spoke still more against the LORD God, and against His servant Hezekiah. He also wrote letters to revile the LORD God of Israel, and to speak against Him, saying, As the gods of the nations of other lands have not delivered their people out of my hand, so shall not the God of Hezekiah deliver His people out of my hand. And they cried out with a loud voice in Jewish to the people of Jerusalem on the wall, in order to frighten them and to trouble them, so that they might take the city. And they spoke against the God of Jerusalem, as against the gods of the peoples of the earth, the work of the hands of man. And for this reason Hezekiah the king and the prophet Isaiah the son of Amoz prayed and cried to Heaven. And the LORD sent an angel to cut off all the mighty men of power, and the leaders and commanders in the camp of the king of Assyria. And he returned with shame of face to his own land. And he came into the house of his god, and those from his own bowels killed him there with the sword. And the LORD saved Hezekiah and the people of Jerusalem from the hand of Sennacherib the king of Assyria, and from the hand of all others, and guided them on every side. And many brought gifts to the LORD to Jerusalem, and presents to Hezekiah king of Judah, so that he was magnified in the sight of all nations from that time on.
In those days Hezekiah was sick to death, and prayed to the LORD. And He spoke to him, and He gave him a sign. But Hezekiah did not give again according to the good done to him, for his heart was lifted up. And there was wrath on him and on Judah and Jerusalem. And Hezekiah was humbled for the pride of his heart, he and the people of Jerusalem, so that the wrath of the LORD did not come on them in the days of Hezekiah. And Hezekiah had exceedingly much riches and honor. And he made himself treasuries for silver, and for gold, and for precious stones, and for spices, and for shields, and for all kinds of pleasant jewels. And he made storehouses for the increase of grain and wine and oil, and stalls for all kinds of animals, and stalls for flocks. And he provided himself cities, and possessions of flocks and herds, in abundance. For God had given him very many things. And Hezekiah himself stopped the upper water courses of Gihon, and brought it straight down to the west side of the city of David. And Hezekiah was blessed in all his works. But, in regard to the ambassadors of the rulers of Babylon who sent to him to ask about the wonder that was done in the land, God left him in order to try him, to know all that was in his heart. And the rest of the acts of Hezekiah, and his goodness, behold, they are written in the vision of Isaiah the prophet, the son of Amoz, and in the Book of the Kings of Judah and Israel. And Hezekiah slept with his fathers, and they buried him in the highest of the tombs of the sons of David. And all Judah and the people of Jerusalem honored him at his death. And his son Manasseh reigned in his place.
Manasseh was twelve years old when he began to reign, and he reigned fifty-five years in Jerusalem. But he did the evil in the sight of the LORD, like the abominations of the heathen whom the LORD had cast out before the sons of Israel. For he built again the high places which Hezekiah his father had broken down, and he reared up altars for the Baals, and made Asherahs, and worshiped all the host of heaven, and served them. And he built altars in the house of the LORD, of which the LORD had said, In Jerusalem shall My name be forever. And he built altars for all the host of heaven in the two courts of the house of the LORD. And he caused his sons to pass through the fire in the valley of the son of Hinnom. He also practiced secret arts, and used fortune-telling, and used witchcraft, and dealt with mediums, and with soothsayers. He did much evil in the sight of the LORD in order to provoke Him to anger. And he set a carved image, the idol which he had made, in the house of God, of which God had said to David and to Solomon his son, In this house, and in Jerusalem, which I have chosen before all the tribes of Israel, I will put My name forever. Nor will I any more remove the foot of Israel from out of the land which I have set apart for your fathers; only if they will take heed to do all that I have commanded them, according to the whole law and the statutes and the ordinances by the hand of Moses. And Manasseh made Judah and the people of Jerusalem to err, to do worse than the nations whom the LORD had destroyed before the sons of Israel. And the LORD spoke to Manasseh and to His people, but they would not listen.
And the LORD brought on them the commanders of the army of the king of Assyria, who took Manasseh among the thorns and bound him with chains and carried him to Babylon. And when he was in affliction, he sought the LORD his God, and humbled himself greatly before the God of his fathers. And he prayed to Him, and He was entreated of him, and heard his prayer, and brought him again to Jerusalem into his kingdom. And Manasseh knew that Jehovah is God. And after this he built a wall outside the city of David, on the west side of Gihon, in the valley, even to the entrance of the Fish Gate, and went around Ophel, and raised it to a very great height. And he put army commanders in all the fortified cities of Judah. And he took away the strange gods, and the idol out of the house of the LORD, and all the altars that he had built in the mountain of the house of the LORD, and in Jerusalem, and threw them out of the city. And he repaired the altar of the LORD and sacrificed on it peace offerings and thank-offerings. And he commanded Judah to serve the LORD God of Israel. But the people still sacrificed in the high places, but only to the LORD their God. And the rest of the acts of Manasseh, and his prayer to his God, and the words of the seers who spoke to him in the name of the LORD God of Israel, behold, they are written in the Book of the Kings of Israel; and his prayer, and his entreaty, and all his sin and his trespass, and the places in which he built high places and set up Asherahs and graven images, before he was humbled, behold, they are written among the Matters of the Seers. And Manasseh slept with his fathers, and they buried him in his own house. And his son Amon reigned in his place.
Amon was twenty-two years old when he began to reign, and he reigned two years in Jerusalem. And he did evil in the eyes of the LORD, as his father Manasseh did; and to all the graven images that his father Manasseh had made, Amon sacrificed, and served them. And he did not bow before the LORD, like the humbling of his father Manasseh. For Amon himself multiplied guilt. And his servants conspired against him and killed him in his own house. And the people of the land killed all those who conspired against king Amon. And the people of the land made his son Josiah to reign in his place.
Josiah was eight years old when he began to reign, and he reigned in Jerusalem thirty-one years. And he did the right in the sight of the LORD, and walked in the ways of David his father, and did not turn aside to the right nor to the left. For in the eighth year of his reign, while he was still young, he began to seek after the God of David his father. And in the twelfth year he began to purge Judah and Jerusalem from the high places, and the Asherahs, and the carved images, and the molten images. And they broke down the altars of the Baals in his presence. And he cut down the images which were on high above them, and the Asherahs. And the carved images and the molten images he also broke in pieces and made dust from them, and scattered on the graves of the ones who had sacrificed to them. And he burned the bones of the priests on their altars and cleansed Judah and Jerusalem. And so he did in the cities of Manasseh and Ephraim and Simeon, even to Naphtali, with their tools round about. And he broke down the altars and the Asherahs, and had beaten the carved images into powder, and cut down all the idols in all the land of Israel, he returned to Jerusalem.
And in the eighteenth year of his reign, when he had purged the land and the house, he sent Shaphan the son of Azaliah, and Maaseiah the governor of the city, and Joah the son of Joahaz the recorder, to repair the house of the LORD his God. And they came to Hilkiah the high priest, and they delivered the silver that was brought into the house of God, which the Levites that kept the doors had gathered from the hand of Manasseh and Ephraim, and from all the remnant of Israel, and from all Judah and Benjamin, and they returned to Jerusalem. And they put it in the hands of the workmen who had the oversight of the house of the LORD. And they gave it to the workmen who worked in the house of the LORD, to repair and mend the house. They gave to the artisans and builders, to buy cut stone and timber for joints, and beams to build up the houses which the kings of Judah had destroyed. And the men did the work faithfully. And the overseers of them were Jahath and Obadiah, the Levites, of the sons of Merari; and Zechariah and Meshullam, of the sons of the Kohathites, and of the Levites, all who were skillful with instruments of music; and over the bearers of burdens, and overseers of all who worked the work in any manner of service. And of the Levites were scribes and officers and gatekeepers.
Repeat. And Levites.
And when they brought out the silver that was brought into the house of the LORD, Hilkiah the priest found the Book of the Law of the LORD by Moses. And Hilkiah answered and said to Shaphan the scribe, I have found the Book of the Law in the house of the LORD. And Hilkiah delivered the book to Shaphan. And Shaphan carried the Book to the king, and brought the king word back again, saying, All that was given into the hands of your servants, they are doing. And they poured out the silver that was found in the house of the LORD, and delivered it into the hand of the overseers, and to the hand of the workmen. And Shaphan the scribe told the king, saying, Hilkiah the priest has given me a book. And Shaphan read it before the king. And it happened when the king heard the words of the Law, he tore his garments. And the king commanded Hilkiah, and Ahikam the son of Shaphan. and Abdon the son of Micah, and Shaphan the scribe, and Asaiah a servant of the king, saying, Go inquire of the LORD for me and for those who are left in Israel and in Judah, concerning the words of the book that is found. For great is the wrath of the LORD that is poured out on us because our fathers have not kept the word of the LORD to do according to all that is written in this Book. And Hilkiah, and those of the king, went to Huldah the prophetess, the wife of Shallum the son of Tikvath, the son of Hasrah, the keeper of the robes. (And she lived in Jerusalem in the second part.) And they spoke to her about this. And she answered them, So says the LORD God of Israel, Tell the man who sent you to me, So says the LORD, Behold, I will bring evil on this place and upon its people, all the curses that are written in the Book which they have read before the king of Judah, because they have forsaken Me, and have burned incense to other gods, so that they might provoke Me to anger with all the works of their hands. And My wrath shall be poured out on this place and shall not be quenched. And as for the king of Judah, who sent you to inquire of the LORD, so shall you say to him, So says the LORD God of Israel whose words you have heard, Because your heart was tender and you humbled yourself before your God when you heard His words against this place and against its people, and humbled yourself before Me, and tore your garments and wept before Me, I have even heard also, says the LORD. Behold, I will gather you to your fathers, and you shall be gathered to your grave in peace, nor shall your eyes see all the evil which I will bring on this place and upon its people. And they brought the king word again.
And the king sent and gathered all the elders of Judah and Jerusalem. And the king went up into the house of the LORD, and all the men of Judah, and the people of Jerusalem, and the priests, and the Levites, and all the people from the great to the small. And he read in their ears all the words of the Book of the Covenant that was found in the house of the LORD. And the king stood in his place and made a covenant before the LORD, to walk after the LORD and to keep His commandments and His testimonies, and His statutes, with all his heart and with all his soul, to perform the words of the covenant which are written in this book. And he caused all who were found in Jerusalem and in Benjamin, and the people of Jerusalem, to stand to the covenant of God, the God of their fathers. And Josiah took away all the abominations out of all the territories that belonged to the sons of Israel. And he made all that were present in Israel to serve, to serve the LORD their God. All his days they did not depart from following the LORD, the God of their fathers.
And Josiah kept a Passover to the LORD in Jerusalem. And they killed the passover lamb on the fourteenth of the first month. And he set the priests in their charges, and encouraged them to the service of the house of the LORD. And he said to the Levites who taught all Israel, who were holy to the LORD, Put the holy ark in the house which Solomon the son of David, king of Israel, built. It shall not be a burden on your shoulders. And serve the LORD your God and His people Israel, and prepare by the houses of your fathers, according to your divisions, according to the writing of David king of Israel, and according to the writing of Solomon his son. And stand in the holy place according to the divisions of the families of the fathers of your brothers, the sons of the people, and the division of the families of the Levites. And kill the passover lamb, and sanctify yourselves, and prepare your brothers so that they may do according to the word of the LORD by the hand of Moses. And Josiah gave to the people from the flock, lambs and kids, all for the Passover offerings, for all who were present, to the number of thirty thousand, and three thousand oxen. These were from what the king owned. And his rulers offered to the people, to the priests, and to the Levites. Hilkiah and Zechariah and Jehiel, rulers of the house of God, gave to the priests for the Passover offerings two thousand, six hundred sheep, and three hundred oxen. And Conaniah, and Shemaiah and Nethaneel, his brothers, and Hashabiah and Jeiel and Jozabad, chiefs of the Levites, gave to the Levites for Passover offerings five thousand sheep and five hundred oxen. And the service was prepared, and the priests stood in their place, and the Levites in their divisions, according to the king’s command. And they killed the passover lamb, and the priests sprinkled from their hands, and the Levites skinned them. And they removed the burnt offerings so that they might give according to the divisions of the families of the people, to offer to the LORD, as it is written in the book of Moses; and so they did to the oxen. And they roasted the passover lamb with fire according to the law. But the holy offerings they boiled in pots, and in kettles, and in pans, and carried to all the sons of the people. And afterward they made ready for themselves, and for the priests, because the priests the sons of Aaron were offering up the burnt offerings and the fat until nightfall. And the Levites prepared for themselves and for the priests, the sons of Aaron. And the singers, the sons of Asaph were in their place, according to the command of David, and Asaph, and Heman, and Jeduthun, the king’s seer. And the gatekeepers were at every gate. It was not for them to depart from their service; for their brothers the Levites prepared for them. And all the service of the LORD was prepared the same day, to keep the Passover, and to offer burnt offerings on the altar of the LORD, according to the command of king Josiah. And the sons of Israel present kept the Passover at that time, and the Feast of Unleavened Bread seven days. And there was no Passover like that kept in Israel from the days of Samuel the prophet. Yea, none of the kings of Israel kept such a Passover as Josiah kept, and the priests, and the Levites, and all Judah and Israel who were found, and the people of Jerusalem. This Passover was kept in the eighteenth year of the reign of Josiah.
Repeat. Levites and boring lists.
After all this, when Josiah had prepared the temple, Necho king of Egypt came up to fight against Carchemish by Euphrates. And Josiah went out against him. But he sent messengers to him, saying, What have I to do with you, king of Judah? I do not come against you today, but against the house with which I have war. For God commanded me to make haste. You must cease from opposing God, who is with me, so that He does not destroy you. But Josiah would not turn his face from him, but disguised himself so that he might fight with him. And he did not listen to the words of Necho from the mouth of God, and came to fight in the valley of Megiddo. And the archers shot at king Josiah. And the king said to his servants, Take me away, for I am grievously wounded. And his servants took him out of that chariot and put him in the second chariot that he had. And they brought him to Jerusalem, and he died, and was buried in the tombs of his fathers. And all Judah and Jerusalem mourned for Josiah. And Jeremiah mourned for Josiah. And all the singing men and the singing women have spoken of Josiah in their lamentations until this day, and made them an ordinance in Israel. And behold, they are written in the Lamentations. And the rest of the acts of Josiah, and his goodness, are according as it is written in the law of the LORD, and his deeds, first and last, behold, they are written in the Book of the Kings of Israel and Judah.
And the people of the land took Jehoahaz the son of Josiah, and made him king in his father’s place in Jerusalem. Jehoahaz was twenty-three years old when he began to reign, and he reigned three months in Jerusalem. And the king of Egypt put him down at Jerusalem, and laid a fine of a hundred talents of silver and a talent of gold on the land. And the king of Egypt made Eliakim his brother king over Judah and Jerusalem, and changed his name to Jehoiakim. And Necho took Jehoahaz his brother and carried him to Egypt. Jehoiakim was twenty-five years old when he began to reign, and he reigned eleven years in Jerusalem. And he did the evil in the sight of the LORD his God. Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon came up against him and bound him in chains to carry him to Babylon. And Nebuchadnezzar carried away some of the vessels of the house of the LORD to Babylon, and put them in his temple at Babylon. And the rest of the acts of Jehoiakim, and his abominations which he did, and that which was found in him, behold, they are written in the Book of the Kings of Israel and Judah. And Jehoiachin his son reigned in his place. Jehoiachin was eight years old when he began to reign, and he reigned three months and ten days in Jerusalem. And he did the evil in the sight of the LORD. And when the year had ended, king Nebuchadnezzar sent and brought him to Babylon, with the valuable vessels of the house of the LORD. And he made his brother Zedekiah king over Judah and Jerusalem.
Repeat. Nebuchadenezzar conquers.
Zedekiah was twenty-one years old when he began to reign, and he reigned eleven years in Jerusalem. And he did the evil in the sight of the LORD his God. He was not humbled before Jeremiah the prophet, from the mouth of the LORD. And he also rebelled against king Nebuchadnezzar, who had made him swear by God. But he stiffened his neck and hardened his heart from turning to the LORD God of Israel. Also all the chief of the priests, and the people, transgressed very much after all the abominations of the nations. And they polluted the house of the LORD which He had made holy in Jerusalem. And the LORD God of their fathers sent to them by His messengers, rising up early and sending, for He had pity on His people and on His dwelling-place. But they mocked the messengers of God and despised His words, and ill-treated His prophets until the wrath of the LORD arose against His people, until there was no healing. And He caused the king of the Chaldeans to go up against them. And he killed their choice ones by the sword in the house of their holy place, and had no pity on the young man and the virgin, the old man and the very aged; He gave all into his hand. And all the vessels of the house of God, great and small, and the treasures of the house of the LORD, and the treasures of the king, and of his rulers, he brought all these to Babylon. And they burned the house of God, and broke down the wall of Jerusalem, and burned all the palaces of it with fire, and destroyed all its beautiful vessels. And the ones who had escaped from the sword he carried away to Babylon, where they were servants to him and his sons until the reign of the kingdom of Persia, to fulfill the word of the LORD in the mouth of Jeremiah, until the land had enjoyed its sabbaths. All the days of the desolation it kept the sabbath, to the full measure of seventy years.
Jerusalem falls (not again) but repeated.
And in the first year of Cyrus king of Persia, so that the word of the LORD in the mouth of Jeremiah might be done, the LORD stirred up the spirit of Cyrus king of Persia, so that he made a proclamation throughout all his kingdom, and also in writing, saying, So says Cyrus king of Persia, All the kingdoms of the earth have been given to me by the LORD God. And He has commanded me to build Him a house in Jerusalem, which is in Judah. Who is among you of all His people? May the LORD his God be with him, and let him go up.
How does Cyrus suddenly become a Jew?