Leviticus 11 to 20

Leviticus 11

And the LORD spoke to Moses and to Aaron, saying to them, Speak to the sons of Israel, saying, These are the animals which you shall eat among all the animals that are in the earth. Whatever divides the hoof, and is cloven-footed, chewing the cud, among the animals, that you shall eat. Only, you shall not eat these of them that chew the cud, or of them that divide the hoof: the camel, for he chews the cud but does not divide the hoof; he is unclean to you. And the rock badger, because he chews the cud, but does not divide the hoof; he is unclean to you. And the hare, because he chews the cud but does not divide the hoof; he is unclean to you. And the swine, though he divides the hoof and is cloven-footed, yet he does not chew the cud; he is unclean to you. You shall not eat of their flesh, and you shall not touch their dead body. They are unclean to you.

The origins of food restrictions and what is clean and unclean. Too bad you did not spell this out 3 books ago. Right here, other than the silly creation story, Noah’s Ark, and the talking snake, is proof the Bible has errors. Rock badgers (hyrax) and hares do not chew cud. I know rabbits don’t, since I used to own one. Such an odd qualifier to know if something is clean, cloven foot and eats cud. In terms of quality of meat, pork is in many ways superior to other red meats. Pigs also have the advantage of being omnivorous that can eat whatever is available. Rabbits and hyrax are plentiful and can eat very low quality food. Odd.

These you shall eat of all that are in the waters: whatever has fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them you shall eat. And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing that is in the waters, they shall be an abomination to you. They shall even be an abomination to you. You shall not eat of their flesh, but you shall have their carcasses in abomination. Whatever has no fins nor scales in the waters shall be an abomination to you. And you shall have these in abomination among the fowls. They shall not be eaten, they are an abomination: the eagle, and the black vulture, and the bearded vulture, and the kite, and the falcon, according to its kind; every raven according to its kind; and the ostrich, and the great owl, and the gull, and small hawks, according to its kind, and the little owl, and the cormorant, and the eared owl; and the barn owl, and the pelican, and the owl-vulture; and the stork, the heron according to its kind, and the hoopoe, and the bat.

So you can eat scaled fish, but not ones without scales. So I guess shark is not kosher. Also sounds like squid and shellfish are off the menu as well. Why? They are perfectly safe to eat. Also looks like any predatory bird is not allowed and for some reason bats are a bird, according to the Bible. I call bullshit on that one.

Every flying swarming creature going on all four, it is an abomination to you. Yet you may eat these of any flying swarming thing that goes on all four, those which have legs above their feet, to leap with on the earth. You may eat these of them: the locust after its kind, and the bald locust after its kind, and the long horned locust after its kind, and the short horned grasshopper after its kind. But every other flying swarming thing which has four feet shall be an abomination to you. And you shall be unclean for these. Whoever touches their dead body shall be unclean until the evening. And whoever carries the carcass of them shall wash his clothes and be unclean until the evening; even every living thing which divides the hoof, and is not cloven-footed, nor chews the cud, they are unclean to you. Everyone that touches them shall be unclean. And whatever goes on its paws, among all the living things that go on all four, those are unclean to you. Whoever touches their dead body shall be unclean until the evening. And he that carries their dead bodies shall wash his clothes and be unclean until the evening. They are unclean to you. These also shall be unclean to you among the swarming things that swarm on the earth: the weasel, and the mouse, and the great lizard after its kind; and the gecko, and the monitor, and the lizard, and the sand lizard, and chameleon. These are unclean to you among all that swarm. Whoever touches them when they are dead shall be unclean until the evening. And whatever shall fall on any of them when they are dead, shall be unclean, whether any vessel of wood, or clothing, or skin, or sack; whatever vessel in which work is done, it must be put into water, and it shall be unclean to the evening. So it shall be cleaned. And every earthen vessel in which any of them falls, whatever is in it shall be unclean. And you shall break it. Of all food which may be eaten, that on which such water comes shall be unclean. And all drink that may be drunk in every such vessel shall be unclean. And every thing on which any part of their dead body falls shall be unclean; whether it is the oven, or ranges for pots, they shall be broken down. They are unclean, and shall be unclean to you. But a fountain or pit, with a collection of water, shall be clean. But that which touches their dead body shall be unclean. And if any of their dead body falls on any sowing seed which is to be sown, it shall be clean. But if any water is put on the seed, and any part of the dead body falls on it, it shall be unclean to you. And if any animal among those you may eat dies, he that touches its dead body shall be unclean until the evening. And he that eats of its dead body shall wash his clothes and be unclean until the evening. He also that carries its body shall wash his clothes and be unclean until the evening. And every swarming thing that swarms on the earth shall be an abomination. It shall not be eaten. Anything going on its belly, and any going on all four, and all having many feet, even every swarming thing that swarms on the earth, you shall not eat them. For they are an abomination.

So, again, the LORD didn’t know insects have 6 legs. So very odd, things are unclean until the evening. Like darkness makes things clean again, except for abominations, which are never clean. But, you can eat locusts because they can jump.

You shall not defile yourselves with any swarming thing that swarms, neither shall you make yourselves unclean with them, so that you should be defiled by them. For I am the LORD your God, and you shall sanctify yourselves, and you shall be holy, for I am holy. Neither shall you defile yourselves with any kind of swarming thing that swarms on the earth. For I am the LORD who brought you up out of the land of Egypt, to be your God. You shall therefore be holy, for I am holy. This is the law of the animals, and of the fowl, and of every living creature that moves in the waters, and of every creature that swarms on the earth, to make a difference between the unclean and the clean, and between the creature that may be eaten and the creature that may not be eaten.

Glad that is over.

Leviticus 12

And the LORD spoke to Moses saying, Speak to the sons of Israel, saying, If a woman has conceived seed and has borne a male, then she shall be unclean seven days; as on the days of her menstrual impurity she shall be unclean. And in the eighth day the flesh of his foreskin shall be circumcised. And she shall then continue in the blood of her purifying thirty-three days. She shall touch no holy thing, nor come into the sanctuary, until the days of her purifying are fulfilled. But if she bears a female, then she shall be unclean two weeks, as in her menstruation. And she shall continue in the blood of her purifying sixty-six days.

So, if she gives birth to a boy, 7 days + 33 unclean. Baby girl, 14 + 66 days. Honestly, do people actually believe this?

The misogamy is just stunning at times.

And when the days of her purifying are fulfilled, for a son or for a daughter, she shall bring a lamb of the first year for a burnt offering, and a young pigeon or a turtle-dove, for a sin offering to the door of the tabernacle of the congregation, to the priest. And he shall offer it before the LORD, and make an atonement for her. And she shall be cleansed from the issue of her blood. This is the law for her that has borne a male or a female. And if her hand cannot reach to a lamb, then she shall bring two turtle-doves or two young pigeons. The one shall be for a burnt offering, and the other for a sin offering. And the priest shall make an atonement for her, and she shall be cleansed.

More animal sacrifice to make a woman clean after the natural process of childbirth.

Leviticus 13

And the LORD spoke to Moses and Aaron, saying, When a man has a rising in the skin of his flesh, or a scab or bright spot, and it is in the skin of his flesh like the plague of leprosy, then he shall be brought to Aaron the priest, or to one of his sons the priests. And the priest shall look on the plague in the skin of the flesh. And if the hair in the plague has turned white, and the plague in sight is deeper than the skin of his flesh, it is a plague of leprosy. And the priest shall look on him and shall pronounce him unclean. And if the bright spot is white in the skin of his flesh, and in sight is not deeper than the skin, and the hair of it has not turned white, then the priest shall shut up the plague seven days. And the priest shall look on him the seventh day. And behold, if the plague in his sight is stayed; the plague has not spread in the skin, then the priest shall shut him up seven days more. And the priest shall look on him again in the seventh day. And, behold, if the plague is somewhat dark; the plague has not spread in the skin, the priest shall pronounce him clean. It is a scab. And he shall wash his clothes and be clean. But if the scab spreads greatly in the skin after he has been seen by the priest for his cleansing, he shall be seen by the priest again. And if the priest sees that, behold, the scab spreads in the skin, then the priest shall pronounce him unclean. It is a leprosy. When the plague of leprosy is in a man, then he shall be brought to the priest. And the priest shall look. And, behold, if the rising is white in the skin, and it has turned the hair white and there is live raw flesh in the rising, it is an old leprosy in the skin of his flesh. And the priest shall pronounce him unclean, and shall not shut him up, for he is unclean. And if a leprosy breaks out greatly on the skin, and the leprosy covers all the skin of the one who has the plague from his head even to his foot, to all that appears to the eyes of the priest, then the priest shall look. And behold, if the leprosy has covered all his flesh, he shall pronounce the plagued one clean. It has all turned white. He is clean. But when raw flesh appears in him, he shall be unclean. And the priest shall look on the raw flesh, and pronounce him to be unclean. The raw flesh is unclean; it is a leprosy. Or if the raw flesh turns again and is changed to white, he shall come to the priest. And the priest shall look on him. And, behold, the plague has turned to white, then the priest shall pronounce the plagued one clean. He is clean.

What the fuck…a full page of silly, bronze age medical advice. It makes no sense, and is the rambling of a simple people.

And when the flesh has a boil in his skin, and it has healed, and in the place of the boil there is a white rising or a bright spot, a reddish white, it shall be shown to the priest; and if the priest sees it, and behold, it is in sight lower than the skin, and the hair of it has turned white, the priest shall pronounce him unclean. It is a plague of leprosy broken out in a boil. But if the priest looks on it, and, behold, there are no white hairs in it, and it is not lower than the skin, but has become dark, then the priest shall shut him up seven days. And if it spreads greatly in the skin, then the priest shall pronounce him unclean. It is a plague. But if the bright spot stays in its place, not spreading, it is a burning boil. And the priest shall pronounce him clean. Or if there is flesh in which the skin has a hot burning, and the raw flesh of the burning becomes a white bright spot, reddish or white, then the priest shall look on it. And behold, the hair in the bright spot has turned white, and it is in sight deeper than the skin, it is leprosy broken out of the burning. Therefore the priest shall pronounce him unclean. It is the plague of leprosy. But if the priest looks on it, and behold, there is no white hair in the bright spot, and it is no lower than the other skin, but is somewhat dark, then the priest shall shut him up seven days. And the priest shall look on him the seventh day. If it spreads farther in the skin, then the priest shall pronounce him unclean. It is the plague of leprosy. And if the bright spot stays in its place, and does not spread in the skin, but is somewhat faded, it is a rising of the burning, and the priest shall pronounce him clean; for it is a scar of the burning. If a man or woman has in them a plague on the head or the beard, then the priest shall see the plague. And behold, if it is in sight deeper than the skin, and a yellow thin hair is in it, then the priest shall pronounce him unclean. It is a dry scab, a leprosy on the head or beard. And if the priest looks on the plague of the scab, and behold, it is not in sight deeper than the skin, and no black hair is in it, then the priest shall shut him up the plagued one with the scab seven days. And in the seventh day the priest shall look on the plague. And behold, if the scab does not spread, and no yellow hair is in it, and the scab is not in sight deeper than the skin, he shall be shaven, but shall not shave the scab. And the priest shall shut up the one who has the scab seven days more. And in the seventh day the priest shall look on the scab. And behold, if the scab has not spread in the skin, nor is in sight deeper than the skin, then the priest shall pronounce him clean. And he shall wash his clothes and be clean. But if the scab spreads very much in the skin after his cleansing, then the priest shall look on him, and behold, if the scab is spread in the skin, the priest shall not look for shining yellow hair. He is unclean. But if in his eyes the scab is stabilized, and black hair is growing up in it, the scab is healed. He is clean, and the priest shall pronounce him clean.

Fuck me, move on. Scabs, scabs, scabs.

Also if a man or a woman has bright spots in the skin of their flesh, white bright spots, then the priest shall look. And behold, if pale white bright spots are in the skin of their flesh, it is a pale spot springing up in the skin. He is clean. And when a man’s head grows bald; he is bald. He is clean. And if his head grows bald from the edge of his face, he is forehead bald. He is clean. And if there is in the bald head, or bald forehead, a white reddish sore, it is a leprosy sprung up in his bald head or his bald forehead. And the priest shall look on it. And behold, if the rising of the sore is reddish white in his bald head, or in his bald forehead, as the leprosy appears in the skin of the flesh, he is a man with leprosy. He is unclean. The priest shall pronounce him utterly unclean. His plague is in his head. And as for the leper in whom the plague is, his clothes shall be torn, and his head shall be bare, and he shall put a covering on his upper lip, and shall cry, Unclean! Unclean! All the days in which the plague is in him he shall be defiled. He is unclean. He shall live alone. His dwelling shall be outside the camp.

Banish the lepers.

And if there is any garment that has the plague of leprosy in it, in a wool garment or a linen garment, or in the warp or in the woof, of linen or of wool, or in a skin or in anything of skin, and if the plague is greenish or reddish in the garment, or in the skin, either in the warp or in the woof, or in anything of skin, it is a plague of leprosy. And it shall be shown to the priest. And the priest shall look on the plague, and shut up that which has the plague seven days. And he shall look on the plague on the seventh day. If the plague is spread in the garment, either in the warp or in the woof, or in any skin or in any work that is made of skin, the plague is a fretting leprosy. It is unclean. And he shall burn that garment, whether warp or woof, in wool or in linen, or anything of skin in which the plague is. For it is a fretting leprosy. It shall be burned in the fire. And if the priest shall look, and behold, the plague has not spread in the garment, either in the warp or the woof, or anything of skin, then the priest shall command that they wash the thing in which the plague is. And he shall shut it up seven days more. And the priest shall look on the plague after it is washed, and behold, if the plague has not changed its color and the plague has not spread; it is unclean. You shall burn it in the fire. It is eaten away in its inside or in its outside. And if the priest looks, and behold, the plague is somewhat dark after the washing of it, then he shall tear it out of the garment, or out of the skin, or out of the warp, or out of the woof. And if it appears still in the garment, or in the warp or in the woof, or in anything of skin, it is a spreading plague. You shall burn that which is in it is the plague is with fire. And the garment which you shall wash, either warp or woof, or whatever thing of skin it is, if the plague has departed from them, then it shall be washed a second time, and shall be clean. This is the law of the plague of leprosy in a garment of woolen or linen, either in the warp or woof or anything of skins, to pronounce it clean or to pronounce it unclean.

Not bad advice to burn the clothes of infected people.

Leviticus 14

And the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, This shall be the law of the leper in the day of his cleansing. He shall be brought to the priest. And the priest shall go forth out of the camp. And the priest shall look, and behold, if the plague of leprosy is healed in the leper, then the priest shall command to take two clean live birds for him that is to be cleansed, and cedar wood, and scarlet, and hyssop. And the priest shall command that one of the birds be killed in an earthen vessel over running water. He shall take the living bird, and the cedar wood and the scarlet and the hyssop, and shall dip them and the living bird in the blood of the slain bird, over the running water. And he shall sprinkle on him that is to be cleansed from the leprosy seven times, and shall pronounce him clean, and shall let the living bird loose into the open field. And he that is to be cleansed shall wash his clothes, and shave off all his hair, and wash himself in water so that he may be clean. And after that he shall come into the camp, and shall stay outside his tent seven days. But on the seventh day he shall shave all his hair off his head and his beard and his eye-brows; even all his hair shall he shave off. And he shall wash his clothes. He also shall wash his flesh in water, and he shall be clean.

Give me a fucking break, you can not cure leprosy with sacrificing birds and clean water and shaving off hair. Apparently god does not know what microorganisms are.

And on the eighth day he shall take two male lambs without blemish, and one ewe lamb of the first year without blemish, and three-tenth parts of fine flour for a food offering, mixed with oil, and one log of oil. And the priest who is cleansing, and the man who is to be cleansed, shall stand with them before the LORD at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. And the priest shall take one male lamb and offer him for a trespass offering, and the log of oil, and wave them for a wave offering before the LORD. And he shall kill the lamb in the place where he shall kill the sin offering and the burnt offering, in the holy place. For as the sin offering is the priest’s, so is the trespass offering. It is most holy. And the priest shall take of the blood of the trespass offering, and the priest shall put it on the tip of the right ear of him that is to be cleansed, and on the thumb of his right hand, and on the big toe of his right foot. And the priest shall take from the log of oil and pour into the palm of his own left hand. And the priest shall dip his right finger in the oil in his left hand and shall sprinkle of the oil with his finger seven times before the LORD. And of the rest of the oil in his hand, the priest shall put on the tip of the right ear of him that is to be cleansed, and on the thumb of his right hand, and on the great toe of his right foot, on the blood of the trespass offering. And the rest of the oil in the priest’s palm he shall pour on the head of him that is to be cleansed. And the priest shall make an atonement for him before the LORD. And the priest shall offer the sin offering and make an atonement for him that is to be cleansed from his uncleanness. And afterward he shall kill the burnt offering. And the priest shall offer the burnt offering and the food offering on the altar. And the priest shall make an atonement for him, and he shall be clean.

So you literally put blood on specific parts of the body to thank the LORD for curing you of leprosy.

And if he is poor and his hand cannot reach so much, then he shall take one lamb for a trespass offering to be waved, to make an atonement for him, and one-tenth part of fine flour mixed with oil for a food offering, and a log of oil, and two turtle-doves or two young pigeons, such as his hand can reach. And the one shall be a sin offering, and the other a burnt offering. And he shall bring them on the eighth day for his cleansing to the priest, to the door of the tabernacle of the congregation before the LORD. And the priest shall take the lamb of the trespass offering, and the log of oil, and the priest shall wave them for a wave offering before the LORD. And he shall kill the lamb of the trespass offering. And the priest shall take from the blood of the trespass offering, and put it on the tip of the right ear of him that is to be cleansed, and on the thumb of his right hand, and on the big toe of his right foot. And the priest shall pour of the oil into the palm of his own left hand. And the priest shall sprinkle with his right finger of the oil that is in his left hand seven times before the LORD. And the priest shall put of the oil in his hand on the tip of the right ear of him that is to be cleansed, and on the thumb of his right hand, and on the big toe of his right foot, on the place of the blood of the trespass offering. And the rest of the oil in the priest’s hand he shall put on the head of him that is to be cleansed, to make an atonement for him before the LORD. And he shall offer the one of the turtle-doves, or of the young pigeons, such as he is able to get, even such as he is able to reach, the one for a sin offering and the other for a burnt offering, with the food offering. And the priest shall make an atonement for him that is to be cleansed before the LORD. This is the law of him in whom is the plague of leprosy, whose hand is not able to reach in his cleansing.

Alternate sacrifice for the poor, cured lepers.

And the LORD spoke to Moses and Aaron, saying, When you come into the land of Canaan which I give you for a possession, and I put the plague of leprosy in a house in the land of your possession, and if he that owns the house shall come and tell the priest, saying, A plague is seen by me in the house; then the priest shall command that they empty the house before the priest goes to see the plague, so that all that is in the house may not become unclean. And afterwards the priest shall go in to see the house. And he shall look on the plague. And behold, if the plague is in the walls of the house with hollow streaks, greenish or reddish, which in sight are lower than the wall, then the priest shall go out of the house to the door of the house, and shut up the house seven days. And the priest shall come again the seventh day and shall look. And behold, if the plague has spread in the walls of the house, then the priest shall command that they take away the stones in which the plague is, and they shall throw them into an unclean place outside the city. And he shall cause the house to be scraped inside all around, and they shall pour out the dust that they scrape off outside the city in an unclean place. And they shall take other stones and put them in the place of those stones. And he shall take other mortar and shall plaster the house. And if the plague comes again and breaks out in the house after he has taken away the stones and after he has scraped the house, and after it is plastered, then the priest shall come and look. And behold, if the plague has spread in the house, it is a fretting leprosy in the house. It is unclean. And he shall break down the house, the stones of it, and the timber of it, and all the mortar of the house, and he shall carry them out of the city into an unclean place. And he that goes into the house all the days that it is shut up shall be unclean until the evening. And he that lies in the house shall wash his clothes. And he that eats in the house shall wash his clothes. And if the priest shall come in and look, and, behold, the plague has not spread in the house after the house was plastered, then the priest shall pronounce the house clean because the plague is healed. And he shall take two birds to cleanse the house, and cedar-wood, and scarlet dye, and hyssop. And he shall kill one of the birds in an earthen vessel over running water. And he shall take the cedar wood, and the hyssop, and the scarlet dye, and the living bird, and dip them in the blood of the slain bird and in the running water, and sprinkle the house seven times. And he shall cleanse the house with the blood of the bird, and with the running water, and with the living bird, and with the cedar wood, and with the hyssop, and with the scarlet. But he shall let the living bird go out of the city into the open field, and make an atonement for the house. And it shall be clean.

Ummm, walls can’t catch leprosy. You can’t make it clean with a living bird, or cedar wood.

This is the law for all kinds of plague of leprosy and scab, and for the leprosy of a garment and of a house, and for a rising and for a scab and for a bright spot, to teach when it is unclean and when it is clean. This is the law of leprosy.

Thank fucking God this is over. So much silly and stupid.

Leviticus 15

And the LORD spoke to Moses and Aaron, saying, Speak to the sons of Israel and say to them, When any man has a discharge from his flesh; he is unclean because of his discharge. And this shall be his uncleanness in his discharge. His flesh has run with his discharge, or his flesh is ceased from his discharge, it is his uncleanness. Every bed on which he who discharges lies is unclean. And everything on which he sits shall be unclean. And whoever touches his bed shall wash his clothes and bathe in water, and be unclean until the evening. And he that sits on any thing on which he who discharges sat shall wash his clothes and bathe in water, and be unclean until the evening. And he that touches the flesh of him who discharges shall wash his clothes, and bathe in water, and be unclean until the evening. And if he who discharges spits on him that is clean, then he shall wash his clothes, and bathe in water, and be unclean until the evening. And whatever saddle he who discharges rides on shall be unclean. And whoever touches anything that was under him shall be unclean until the evening. And he that carries any of those things shall wash his clothes, and bathe in water, and be unclean until the evening. And whomever he who discharges touches, and has not rinsed his hands in water, he shall wash his clothes and bathe in water, and be unclean until the evening. And the earthen vessel that he who discharges touches shall be broken. And every vessel of wood shall be rinsed in water. And when he who discharges is cleansed of his discharge, then he shall number seven days to himself for his cleansing, and wash his clothes, and bathe his flesh in running water, and shall be clean. And on the eighth day he shall take two turtle-doves to himself, or two young pigeons, and come before the LORD to the door of the tabernacle of the congregation, and give them to the priest. And the priest shall offer them, the one for a sin offering and the other for a burnt offering. And the priest shall make an atonement for him before the LORD for his discharge. And if any man’s semen goes from him, then he shall wash all his flesh in water and be unclean until the evening. And every garment and every skin on which the semen shall be, it shall be washed with water, and be unclean until the evening. And the woman with whom a man shall lie with emission of semen shall both bathe in water and be unclean until the evening.

I don’t know what to say about this passage. Dick discharge and discharge in general is just gross. The advice of taking a fucking shower after sex is pretty good advice.

And if a woman has a discharge, and her discharge in her flesh is blood, she shall be in her impurity seven days. And whoever touches her shall be unclean until the evening. And everything that she lies on in her impurity shall be unclean. Everything also that she sits on shall be unclean. And whoever touches her bed shall wash his clothes, and bathe in water, and be unclean until the evening. And whoever touches anything that she sat on, shall wash his clothes and bathe in water, and be unclean until the evening. And if it is on the bed or on anything on which she sits, when he touches it, he shall be unclean until the evening. And if any man lies with her at all, and her impurity is on him, he shall be unclean seven days. And every bed on which he lies shall be unclean. And if a woman has a discharge of her blood many days outside of the time of her impurity, or if she discharges it beyond the time of her impurity, all the days of the discharge of her uncleanness shall be as the days of her impurity. She is unclean. Every bed on which she lies all the days of her discharge shall be to her as the bed of her impurity. And whatever she sits on shall be unclean, as the uncleanness of her impurity. And whoever touches those things shall be unclean, and shall wash his clothes and bathe in water, and be unclean until the evening. But if she is cleansed of her discharge, then she shall number to herself seven days, and after that she shall be clean. And on the eighth day she shall take two turtle-doves to her, or two young pigeons, and bring them to the priest, to the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. And the priest shall offer the one for a sin offering, and the other for a burnt offering. And the priest shall make atonement for her before the LORD for the discharge of her uncleanness. So you shall separate the sons of Israel from their uncleanness, so that they do not die in their uncleanness when they defile My tabernacle that is among them. This is the law of him that has an discharge, and of him whose semen goes from him and is defiled with it, and of her that is menstruating, and of him that has an discharge, of the man, and of the woman, and of him that lies with an unclean woman.

The Bible really is hard on women. You are unclean for a week on your period and you have to sacrifice 2 birds, every month, you have a period.

Leviticus 16

And the LORD spoke to Moses after the death of the two sons of Aaron, when they offered before the LORD and they died. and the LORD said to Moses, Speak to Aaron your brother, that he does not come at all times into the sanctuary within the veil before the mercy-seat, which is on the Ark, so that he will not die. For I will appear in the cloud on the mercy-seat. Aaron shall come into the sanctuary this way: with a bull, a son of the herd, for a sin offering, and a ram for a burnt offering. He shall put on the holy linen coat, and he shall have the linen breeches on his flesh, and shall be girded with a linen girdle, and with the linen miter he shall be dressed. These are holy garments. And he shall wash his flesh in water and put them on.

More animal sacrifice, this time for mourning the dead.

And he shall take from the congregation of the sons of Israel two kids of the goats for a sin offering, and one ram for a burnt offering. And Aaron shall offer his young bull of the sin offering which is for himself, and make an atonement for himself and for his house. And he shall take the two goats and present them before the LORD at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. And Aaron shall cast lots on the two goats; one lot for the LORD and the other lot for the scapegoat. And Aaron shall bring the goat on which the LORD’s lot fell, and offer it for a sin offering. But the goat on which the lot fell to be the scapegoat shall be presented alive before the LORD, to make an atonement with him, to let him go for a scapegoat into the wilderness. And Aaron shall bring the young bull of the sin offering which is for himself, and shall atone for himself and for his house, and shall kill the young bull of the sin offering which is for himself. And he shall take a censer full of coals of fire from off the altar before Jehovah, and his hands full of fragrant perfumes beaten small, and bring it within the veil. And he shall put the incense on the fire before the LORD. And the cloud of the incense shall cover the mercy-seat that is on the Testimony. And he shall not die. And he shall take of the blood of the young bull and shall sprinkle with his finger on the front of the mercy-seat eastward. And he shall sprinkle at the front of the mercy-seat seven times from the blood with his finger.

Fuck, I have literally lost count how many times I have read this. Something like 15 or 16 times or more.

Then he shall kill the goat of the sin offering that is for the people, and bring its blood inside the veil. And he shall do with that blood as he did with the blood of the young bull, and sprinkle it on the mercy-seat and before the mercy-seat. And he shall atone for the sanctuary, because of the uncleannesses of the sons of Israel, and because of their transgressions in all their sins. And so he shall do for the tabernacle of the congregation which remains with them in the midst of their uncleanness. And there shall be no man in the tabernacle of the congregation when he goes in to make an atonement in the sanctuary, until he comes out and has made an atonement for himself, and for his household, and for all the congregation of Israel. And he shall go out to the altar that is before the LORD and make an atonement for it. And he shall take of the blood of the young bull, and of the blood of the goat, and put it on the horns of the altar all around. And he shall sprinkle of the blood on it with his finger seven times and cleanse it, and hallow it from the uncleanness of the sons of Israel.

Fuck you Bible, move the fuck on.

And when he has made an end of reconciling the sanctuary and the tabernacle of the congregation and the altar, he shall bring the live goat. And Aaron shall lay both his hands on the head of the live goat, and confess over him all the sins of the sons of Israel, and all their transgressions in all their sins, putting them on the head of the goat, and shall send away by the hand of a chosen man into the wilderness. And the goat shall bear on him all their sins to a land in which no one lives. And he shall let the goat go in the wilderness. And Aaron shall come into the tabernacle of the congregation, and shall strip off the linen garments which he put on when he went into the sanctuary, and shall leave them there. And he shall wash his flesh with water in the holy place, and put on his garments, and come forth and offer his burnt offering, and the burnt offering of the people, and make an atonement for himself and for the people. And the fat of the sin offering shall he burn on the altar. And he that let go the goat for the scapegoat shall wash his clothes and bathe his flesh in water, and afterward come into the camp. And the young bull for the sin offering, and the goat for the sin offering, whose blood was brought in to make atonement in the holy place, shall they carry forth outside the camp. And they shall burn their skins in the fire, and their flesh and their dung. And he who burns them shall wash his clothes and bathe his flesh in water, and afterward he shall come into the camp.

I have a lot of pity on the poor clerics who had to copy this by hand, word by word, all of this repetitive shit.

And it shall be a statute forever to you: in the seventh month, on the tenth of the month, you shall afflict your souls and do no work at all, the native and the alien who is staying among you. For on that day an atonement shall be made for you, to cleanse you, so that you may be clean from all your sins before the LORD. It shall be a sabbath of rest to you, and you shall afflict your souls, by a statute forever. And the priest whom He shall anoint, and whom he shall consecrate to minister in the priest’s office in his father’s stead, shall make the atonement and shall put on the linen clothes, the holy garments. And he shall make an atonement for the holy sanctuary, and he shall make an atonement for the tabernacle of the congregation, and for the altar; and he shall make an atonement for the priests and for all the people of the congregation. And this shall be an everlasting statute to you, to make an atonement for the sons of Israel for their sins once a year. And he did as the LORD commanded Moses.

Some sort of annual festival. Who cares?

Leviticus 17

And the LORD spoke to Moses saying, Speak to Aaron and to his sons, and to all the sons of Israel, and say to them, This is the thing which the LORD has commanded, saying, Any man of the house of Israel who kills an ox or lamb or goat in the camp, or kills it out of the camp, and does not bring it to the door of the tabernacle of the congregation, to offer as offering to the LORD before the tabernacle of the LORD, blood shall be charged to that man; he has shed blood. And that man shall be cut off from among his people, so that the sons of Israel may bring their sacrifices which they offer in the open field, even that they may bring them to the LORD, to the door of the tabernacle of the congregation, to the priest, and offer them for peace offerings to the LORD. And the priest shall sprinkle the blood on the altar of the LORD at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation, and burn the fat for a sweet savor to the LORD. And they shall no more offer their sacrifices to goats, after whom they have gone whoring. This shall be a statute forever to them throughout their generations. And you shall say to them, Any man of the house of Israel, or of the strangers who are staying among you, offers a burnt offering or sacrifice, and does not bring it to the door of the tabernacle of the congregation to offer it to the LORD, even that man shall be cut off from among his people.

If you want to, say, slaughter an animal since you may want to eat, but don’t offer it to the church first, you are banished.

And any man of the house of Israel, or of the strangers that are staying among you, who eats any blood, I will set My face against that soul who eats blood, and will cut him off from among his people. For the life of the flesh is in the blood. And I have given it to you on the altar to make an atonement for your souls. For it is the blood that makes an atonement for the soul. Therefore I said to the sons of Israel, No soul of you shall eat blood, neither shall any stranger that is staying among you eat blood. And any man of the sons of Israel, or of the strangers that are staying among you, who hunts game, beast or fowl, that may be eaten, he shall even pour out its blood and cover it with dust. For it is the life of all flesh. Its blood is for the life of it. Therefore I said to the sons of Israel, You shall eat the blood of any flesh. For the life of all flesh is its blood. Whoever eats it shall be cut off. And any soul that eats a dead body, or a torn thing, whether a native or a stranger, he shall both wash his clothes and bathe in water, and be unclean until the evening. Then he shall be clean. But if he does not wash, nor bathe his flesh, then he shall bear his iniquity.

The LORD needs blood. You can’t eat it, you must give it to god. Banish anyone who likes a little blood pie.

Leviticus 18

And the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, Speak to the sons of Israel and say to them, I am the LORD your God. You shall not do like the doings of the land of Egypt in which you lived. And you shall not do like the doings of the land of Canaan, where I bring you. Neither shall you walk in their ordinances. You shall do My judgments and keep My ordinances, to walk in them. I am the LORD your God. And you shall keep My statutes and My judgments, which if a man does, he shall live in them. I am the LORD.

Jews gotta Jew. Don’t act like any of the other heathen.

None of you shall approach to any who are near of kin to him, to uncover their nakedness. I am the LORD. You shall not uncover the nakedness of your father or the nakedness of your mother. She is your mother; you shall not uncover her nakedness. You shall not uncover the nakedness of your father’s wife. It is your father’s nakedness. You shall not uncover the nakedness of your sister, the daughter of your father or the daughter of your mother, born at home or born away. Their nakedness you shall not uncover. The nakedness of your son’s daughter, or of your daughter’s daughter, you shall not uncover their nakedness. For theirs is your own nakedness. You shall not uncover the nakedness of the daughter of your father’s wife, begotten of your father. She is your sister. You shall not uncover the nakedness of your father’s sister. She is your father’s near kinswoman. You shall not uncover the nakedness of your mother’s sister. For she is your mother’s near kinswoman. You shall not uncover the nakedness of your father’s brother. You shall not approach his wife. She is your aunt. You shall not uncover the nakedness of your daughter-in-law. She is your son’s wife. You shall not uncover her nakedness. You shall not uncover the nakedness of your brother’s wife. It is your brother’s nakedness. You shall not uncover the nakedness of a woman and her daughter, neither shall you undertake to uncover her son’s daughter, or her daughter’s daughter. They are her near kinswomen; it is wickedness. And you shall not take a wife to her sister, to vex her, to uncover her nakedness, beside the other in her life.

Don’t look at your naked relatives. Whoop tee do.

With all of the information in the next passage, I had to add commentary and break up this important block.

Also you shall not approach to a woman to uncover her nakedness in the impurity of her uncleanness.

Don’t look at a naked women on her period.

And you shall not lie carnally with your neighbor’s wife, to defile yourself with her.

Thought this was taken care of in the ten commandments.

And you shall not let any of your seed pass through the fire to Molech, neither shall you profane the name of your God.

Had to look up what the heck a Molech was. It was a household god that was not excised from the Bible. It had the head of a bull and made of brass. It was used for infant sacrifice. Thought this and the profane in the name of God was already taken care of.

I am the LORD. You shall not lie with mankind as with womankind. It is abomination to God.

This is where the Bible condemns homosexuals. It is not an abomination. It is what healthy humans (and some animals) do.

And you shall not lie with any animal to defile yourself with it. And a woman shall not stand before an animal to lie down to it.

It is a shameful mixing. Do not defile yourselves in any of these things.

Men, don’t fuck animals, women, don’t let an animal fuck you. So sad this comes right after the homosexual line is right before this one.

For in all these the nations are defiled, which I cast out before you. And the land is defiled. Therefore I visit its wickedness on it, and the land itself vomits out those who live in it. You shall therefore keep My statutes and My judgments, and shall not commit any of these abominations, neither the native, nor any stranger that lives among you. For the men of the land who were before you have done all these abominations, and the land is defiled. You shall not do these so that the land may not spew you out also when you defile it, as it spewed out the nations that were before you. For whoever shall commit any of these abominations, even the souls who commit them shall be cut off from among their people. And you shall keep My ordinance, so as not to do any of these abominable customs which were committed before you, and that you do not defile yourselves in them. I am the LORD your God.

I guess we live in a defiled land that has abominations. As n ironic twist, this comment was written about a week after the Supreme Court of the United States make homosexual marriage legal, in every state, and I am so proud they got some balls (no pun intended) and stood up to the bigots in this country.

Leviticus 19

And the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, Speak to all the congregation of the sons of Israel and say to them, You shall be holy, for I the LORD your God am holy. You shall each man revere his mother and his father, and keep My sabbaths. I am the LORD your God. Do not turn to idols, nor make molten gods to yourselves. I am the LORD your God. And if you offer a sacrifice of peace offerings to the LORD, you shall offer it of your own free will. It shall be eaten the same day you offer it, and on the next day. And if anything remains until the third day, it shall be burned in the fire. And if it is eaten at all on the third day, it is abominable. It shall not be accepted. And anyone that eats it shall bear his iniquity, because he has profaned the holy thing of the LORD. And that soul shall be cut off from among his people. And when you reap the harvest of your land, you shall not wholly reap the corner of your field. And you shall not gather the gleaning of your harvest. And you shall not glean your vineyard. And you shall not gather the leavings of your vineyard. You shall leave them for the poor and the stranger. I am the LORD your God.

More reworded ten commandments. Leave the scraps to the poor. Laziest charity work ever.

You shall not steal, nor lie, nor be deceitful to one another. And you shall not swear by My name falsely; nor shall you profane the name of your God. I am the LORD. You shall not defraud your neighbor nor rob him. The wages of him who is hired shall not stay with you until the morning. You shall not curse the deaf, nor put a stumbling-block before the blind, but shall fear your God. I am the LORD. You shall do no unrighteousness in judgment. You shall not respect the person of the poor, nor honor the person of the mighty; but you shall judge your neighbor in righteousness. You shall not go as a slanderer among your people; you shall not stand against the blood of your neighbor. I am the LORD. You shall not hate your brother in your heart. You shall always rebuke your neighbor, and not allow sin on him. You shall not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the sons of your people; but you shall love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.

Reworded ten commandments…again. Except for don’t yell at the deaf and trip the blind. Love your brother and your neighbor. I wonder if this advice is contradicted later?

Another passage I had to split up:

You shall keep My statutes. You shall not let your cattle breed with different kinds.

I wish I knew what a different kind was. Although, we defiantly use mules (horse and donkey) and have for many years.

You shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed.

Considering I have a garden with 3 different tomatoes, peppers, basil, and peas, I guess I am a sinner.

And you shall not allow clothing mixed of linen and wool to come on you.

No mixed clothing. I am wearing a cotton polyester shirt, right now. Dirty sinner.

And whoever lies with a woman with semen, and she is a slave-girl, betrothed to a husband and not at all redeemed, nor freedom given her, there shall be an inquest. They shall not be put to death, because she was not free. And he shall bring his trespass offering to the LORD, to the door of the tabernacle of the congregation, even a ram for a trespass offering. And the priest shall make an atonement for him with the ram of the trespass offering before the LORD for his sin which he has done. And the sin which he has done shall be forgiven him.

So you can have a sex slave, as long as you offer a ram as a trespass offering. He shall be forgiven.

And when you shall come into the land, and shall have planted all kinds of trees for food, then you shall count the fruit of them as uncircumcised. It shall be uncircumcised three years to you. It shall not be eaten. But in the fourth year all the fruit of them shall be holy to praise the LORD. And in the fifth year you shall eat of the fruit of it, so that it may yield to you its increase. I am the LORD your God.

I don’t get this restriction, other than most fruit trees don’t produce decent fruit for a couple of years. They won’t kill you, just not taste that great or produce much fruit.

You shall not eat anything with the blood.

Not again, yes, we know, no blood in your food.

You shall not divine, nor conjure spirits.

Looks like another pronouncement against witches and spirits. Too bad spirits don’t exist.

You shall not round the side of your head, nor mar the edge of your beard. You shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks on you.

No hair cuts, shaving, no body modification/scarring or taboos.

I am the LORD. You shall not prostitute your daughter, to cause her to be a whore, lest the land go whoring, and the land become full of wickedness.

No Jew whores. This one actually made me laugh.

You shall keep My sabbaths and revere My sanctuary. I am the LORD. You shall not turn to those that have familiar spirits, nor seek to spiritists to be defiled by them. I am the LORD your God. You shall rise up before the gray head and honor the face of the old man, and fear your God. I am the LORD. And if a stranger lives with you in your land, you shall not oppress him. The stranger that dwells with you shall be to you as one born among you, and you shall love him as yourself. For you were strangers in the land of Egypt. I am the LORD your God. You shall do no unrighteousness in judgment, in measures and weights, or in quantity. You shall have just balances, just weights, a just ephah, and a just hin. I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt. And you shall observe all My statutes and all My judgments, and do them. I am the LORD.

This is one of the very few good passages I have read so far. If a stranger lives in your land, live and let live and treat them equally and fairly. If you live somewhere else, follow your rules, don’t worship other gods.

Leviticus 20

And the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, Again you shall say to the sons of Israel, Any man of the sons of Israel or of the strangers who live in Israel, that gives any of his seed to Molech, he shall surely be put to death. The people of the land shall stone him with stones. And I will set My face against that man, and will cut him off from among his people, because he has given of his seed to Molech, to defile My sanctuary, and to profane My holy name. And if the people of the land in any way hide their eyes from the man when he gives of his seed to Molech, and do not kill him, then I will set My face against that man and against his family, and will cut him off, and all that go lusting after him to commit adultery with Molech, from among their people. And the soul that turns to those who have familiar spirits, and to spiritists, to go lusting after them, I will even set My face against that soul, and will cut him off from among his people. And you shall sanctify yourselves, and be holy. For I am the LORD your God. And you shall keep My statutes and do them. I the LORD sanctify you. And any man who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death. He has cursed his father or his mother; his blood shall be on him.

Molech rears his head again. Must of been a competing god at the time. Again, prohibition against spiritualists. If you curse you mother of father, you die.

Another block that has to be split:

And a man who commits adultery with a man’s wife, who commits adultery with his neighbor’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.

Adultery is punishable by death, both parties.

And the man who lies with his father’s wife has uncovered his father’s nakedness. Both of them shall surely be put to death.

Father’s wife, not his mother? So fuck your step mom, death. Or perhaps this is due to the polygamy at the time.

Their blood shall be on them. And if a man lies with his daughter-in-law, both of them shall surely be put to death. They have made a shameful mixture; their blood shall be on them.

Fuck daughter in law, death.

If a man also lies with mankind, as he lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be on them.

Gay men, death. No mention of lesbians.

And if a man takes a wife and her mother, it is wickedness. They shall be burned with fire, both he and they, so that there may be no wickedness among you.

Fuck mother in law (ew) death by burning.

And if a man lies with an animal, he shall surely be put to death. And you shall kill the animal.

Man fuck a sheep, death to both parties.

And if a woman goes up to any animal and lies down with it, you shall kill the woman and the animal. They shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be on them.

Woman fucked by an animal, death to both.

And if a man shall take his sister, his father’s daughter, or his mother’s daughter, and see her nakedness, and she see his nakedness, it is a wicked thing. And they shall be cut off in the sight of their people. He has uncovered his sister’s nakedness; he shall bear his iniquity.

Oddly worked her. Seems like you can have sex with your sister, half sister, but as long don’t see them naked, it’s ok? Or is this just a prohibition against seeing any of them naked?

And if a man shall lie with a menstruous woman, and shall uncover her nakedness, he has discovered her fountain, and she has uncovered the fountain of her blood. And both of them shall be cut off from among their people.

Banished for parting the ‘red sea’. The ancient Jews were really hung up on menstruation.

And you shall not uncover the nakedness of your mother’s sister, nor of your father’s sister. For he uncovers his near kin. They shall bear their iniquity. And if a man shall lie with his uncle’s wife, he has uncovered his uncle’s nakedness. They shall bear their sin. They shall die childless. And if a man shall take his brother’s wife, it is an unclean thing. He has uncovered his brother’s nakedness; they shall be childless.

Somehow, if you fuck your aunt, you will be childless. I don’t think it works like this.

You shall therefore keep all My statutes and all My judgments, and do them, so that the land where I bring you to live shall not spit you out. And you shall not walk in the ways of the nation which I cast out before you. For they committed all these things, and therefore I loathed them. But I have said to you, You shall inherit their land, and I, I am giving it to you to possess it, a land that flows with milk and honey. I am the LORD your God, who has separated you from the nations. And you shall make a difference between clean animals and unclean, and between unclean fowls and clean. And you shall not defile your souls by beast, or by fowl, or by any kind of living thing that creeps on the ground, which I have separated from you as unclean. And you shall be holy to Me. For I, the LORD, am holy, and have severed you from the nations, so that you should be Mine. A man also or woman that has a medium or that is a familiar spirit, shall surely be put to death. They shall stone them with stones. Their blood is on them.

Summary of what we have been reading for the last 20 pages or so. Death to wizards and witches, again.